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june fairchild: "catch a fallen star"

how do i get paid on amazon

sam barr (sam@barrsam.com)

how do i get paid on amazon

june wilson is how we knew her in high school. most people knew her as june fairchild.

june passed on february 17, 2015.
obituaries june fairchild, 68, gazzarri dancer on tv and actress
by kevin roderick | february 18, 2015 10:53 pm

how do i get paid on amazon

my name is sam barr, a high school friend who was given june's book to edit.
i didn't know her that well in high school but we teased each other about our love of food.
i became close to june after high school.

june always told us that she was writing her book.
she indicated that she would like my wife gail griebenow an english teacher to edit it for her.
june intended to have it published.
after june passed (tuesday, february 17, 2015 @ 10:05 pm), we were given a stack of type written papers.

there were 283 pages. i scanned each page and started editing her work.
in short we only corrected typos. we tried hard to not change the flavor that june intended.

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how do i get paid on amazon

the following are references to june;

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june was a wonderful character. we all have very different memories of her "adventurous" life.
some of the stories in her book you may be very familiar with or even lived with her.
other stories you may have no idea of and will be surprised to read.

in either case, enjoy reading june's work that she very much wanted to see published.

june said that she wanted to call her "life story" either;
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what to sell on ebay to make money

she said the "title isnt for sure yet".

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as you read her work you will see that june fully intended her book to be published.
june tells vibrant stories about a lot of people. many are well known celebrities and others are names
that i am not familiar with. i left the spelling of these names as she had them.

some of her references were to people and places that i attempted to look up to verify the proper spelling.
i fixed them if i could. otherwise i left them in hopes that others will recognize the name that she meant.

i have what to sell on ebay to make money idea about the accounts that she gives about people and events that she experienced.
this work is a what to sell on ebay to make money until these accounts can be checked out.
just know that this is june's account.

sorry for the delay getting this effort out. i did not know how to "publish" her book.
i toyed with using a publishing company to create an actual book.
i couldn't do that because of the content has not being verified.
a book would have cost money. i wanted anyone and everyone to have free access to her work.

june wrote a page or more about order ?
this is the way the pages were stacked when i received them.

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june's photos are being sorted and will be here soon..

photos for june fairchild's book

start of june's book

1. ken shapiro (shoreham apt time)

ken shapiro (shoreham apt time)

i met ken shapiro at a nice hollywood function of some kind.
it's a bit vague to me, who care's for heaven's sakes!

we just started talking and introduced ourselves to each other. he was not much taller than me seemingly.
a short haired brunette wearing a black leather jacket and blue jeans.

he came across as quirky and funny, intelligent, and cute. i really can't compare his features to anyone famous so you can see his face. i guess he just looks like himself. he had a very round head, and firm round glowing cheeks. non descript. i asked him what he did for a living. he told me he wrote the movie "kentucky fried chicken" a huge comedy hit. i believe he produced it as well. i was very impressed! this guy is a very gifted writer.

anyone who gets paid for entertaining people one way or another and is a huge success at the same time i have great admiration for. i decided it wouldn't hurt to get this cutie just to see what makes him tick. i found him an interesting specimen. he invited me to come over to his house. i accepted. he had a gorgeous home some where up in the hills behind the beverly hills hotel. coldwater canyon maybe. it's hard for me to recollect every detail since i was always loaded one way or another due to emotional pain from heartaches.

the first thing ken did was make me a drink of course. he then took me straight to his music room. he then sat down at his piano and started to sing to me! it was a standard pop song. not only did he play incredibly but his voice was very good too! i couldn't believe this. he was blowing my mind. this man is truly multi talented! now i'm really taken aback by his presence! he never sat still for long. then out of the blue he told me "june, i'm a manic depressive" i didn't know what else to say except "really?" he caught me off guard with that one. then i said "we all have our problems, don't we, try not to let it bother you too much if humanly possible". i'm just trying to comfort him and make him feel better. i know i made him laugh a lot and i did pick up his spirit! i gave him my phone number and had to get home, it was getting late.

ken called me the next evening at 3:00 o'clock in the morning!!! what? i couldn't believe he would wake me up at such a time! ken then says "june, please come over, i'm really depressed.. i need you right now!" i felt the urgency within him and told him i'll be right over. i liked him a lot and was excited to get to spend more time with him, i didn't think it would be in this manner. i walked in and he was sitting on his couch with his hands on his head. i said "i'm here ken" he said " yeah, well, i really don't feel too good" i really didn't know what to do.

i improvised and figured! i'll entertain him. then i started dancing hollywood a go go style head rolls and all, to make him laugh. i look up for approval, ken just wasn't and said "ahhhhh, big deal". then i made some silly faces for him, he said, "no forget it".

i said ken, i got out of bed to make you feel better and since it's not working i'm going home! driving back i thought, he probably wanted me to make sexual advances etc, no way would i do that! junie does not operate like that. it's too early in our newly found friendship! i just forgot about this little nighttime rescue business.

i'll be damned if ken didn't call me again the night at 2:30 in the morning. he really was stressed out this time. i was worried. i raced right over! i walked back in. he left the door opened for me i just sat with him and rubbed his back and listened. same song second verse. it didn't help, i left.

2. night owling with ken

night owling with ken

i was wondering if this was all i was going to do, livin up ken shapiro in the middle of the night over and over again. i actually went over again and sat to just listen or watch him be depressed, at least he wasn't alone. since he was such a genius at comedy, he would get the deep lows and woo's like most other heavy comedians. comedy and tragedy are hand and hand at times.

i got a phone call at 6:00 o'clock on a friday night. it was ken! he was real perky and normal like nothing ever happened. he said' june, how would you like to go out tonight? come over at 8:00. i'll see you then" and hung up! i didn't get to say anything he pretty much just said how it was going to be interesting! what's gonna happen this time!

i drove up and ken was standing outside. he said "you look very pretty, let's take a ride in my new car" he had a new citroen. it looked like a fish made of steel. this was far from danny's 1953 citroen.

i sat down in the passenger seat. it was plush divine cushiony heaven. i felt like i was in a living couch! we pulled up to a stop sign and the front of the car lifted up on air somehow! i liked it. i do believe this is one of the most comfortable cars in the world! ken was sweet and funny again! we drove and stopped.

he gave me a small kiss and then opened the sun roof and stuck his head out of it and said "are the stars great?" then i did the same as he. then we drove some more and we went back to his house. he said, we'll have a little snack now. we sat at a small table and had cheese and crackers.

then ken says you mind if we try to make mad passionate love together? i didn't say anything. just gave him a smile like you naughty boy. follow me upstairs and i'll show you my bedroom. (i couldn't believe this approach) we walked upstairs and my goodness what a beautiful room. it was very manly and modern. the bed was very high and puffy and big. i could hardly sit on it, had to jump up on it to sit down on it. it made me feel small.

ken then gave me a pair of silk pajama's of his. he said "here put these on" i went to his beautiful bathroom and put them on. i come out and he wasn't anywhere around. i thought to myself, this isn't quite right, but i am attracted to ken, i should just take the bull by the horns and get in bed!

so i'm all propped up and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. thirty minutes at least had gone by. then out of no where ken comes into the room dressed to the hilt! he looked as though he were going to a movie premiere or something. black suit with a silk scarf around his neck and says "june, wait here, i'll be back in a couple of hours! i said " what are you doing?" he said "i'm meeting cindy williams, talk to you later" and he left.

i just sat dumbfounded! i thought how can he do this? how weird and cold can someone be? doesn't he appreciate me for what i've done for him? don't i count? i'm thrown to the side like flotsam in the sea. or was this a compliment to have me as an instant wife/friend to be the stay at home woman? hell, i'm confused. he's out with cindy and i'm in his bed to wait for him? what an ego!! no! i don't think so!

i got up and ran out of that house like a bat out of hell! i was mad and hurt at the same time. i cried on the way home with confusion and then snapped out of it and decided to never see ken shapiro again! and i didn't! i'm so glad i didn't have sex with him. that would have made it worse! i would have felt cheap if i did because he obviously runs through women like popcorn! didn't want to be a notch on his belt either!

3. 1976-1978

1976-1978 insert: towards the end of living at shoreham towers

"the thread and the newspaper"
nyla was the manager of the shoreham towers apartments. she was extremely picky. she reminded me of a shriveled eleanor roosevelt. small and a little hunched over. her hair was light brown, grey and disarrayed. didn't quite reach her shoulders. she wore orange lipstick with a scratchy voice that came through it. she always wore black slacks and the same blouse and vest every day. who cares about her feet that always did that dragging shuffle in her black fed wing shoes. she talked like there was a small ball in her throat, a bit muffled. she was very irritating and not sweet at all. god knows i love everyone but not my landlady.

i paid her no mind even though she was very abrasive, (like a bad cleaning agent). my newspaper was missing off and on. i was a subscriber to the l.a. times and had it delivered right inside the apartment building to my doorstep. during the week i'd miss a couple of newspapers regularly. that's bad enough, but when my sunday paper was never showing up anymore, that did it! i must get to the bottom of this! i had to catch this thief.

it must be one of the weirdo's down the hall. i came up with a plan. i'm going to make a dummy paper. meaning i'll take the front page of the next morning paper and fill it with old newspapers inside of it. then i'm going to put a good half of cup of flour and gently lay it in between it. then i'm going to tie on a long black piece of thread to the white string that's always wrapped around the outside of newspapers. then i'm going to gently lay this phony booby trap paper on my door mat outside where it's always left. then i'll close the door and bring the black thread inside under the crack of the door. then i'm bringing a pillow and blanket and lay down to get some sleep.

i'm holding the thread in one hand of course to catch the biggest fish in the building. it was around 4:00 o'clock in the morning. i'm waiting. i'm listening. one hour went by. sure enough, i hear a rustling paper sound, the string got tighter, i jumped up and opened my door! it was nyla herself, looking over the balcony with flour running down her black pants!

i said "nyla it's you!" and she said "what are you talking about?" i said "you are the one who's been stealing my newspaper for months. how could you do this? you are the land lady for god's sake's! she kept denying it, and then looked down at her white flour powdered black slacks and her eyes got as big as silver dollars!

i said "look nyla, i made that paper up just to catch the thief, and it's you". she just turned her head and walked down the hall as proudly as she could regardless. this was hilarious! i took the prop paper and threw it in the trash. this is one of those situations where you really had to be there! it was a good one!

one point for junie.
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4. all the way eastern with mae west on the throne

all the way eastern with mae west on the throne

after my mind was blown meeting james mason a minute ago, it was time to freshen up in the ladies powder room. i sure loved the way my masonni flowing dress felt against my naked body underneath. i looked at how pretty i did look in the full length mirror.

then i went into one of the stalls. someone was in the stall next to me. i'm sitting there hearing them pee and myself. i always look to see what kind of shoes the person next to me is wearing.

i bent down and looked to my left. my mouth fell open!!! these white satin shoes had 5 inch lifts!!! it was mae west!

i didn't notice her leave the table i was busy talking to everyone. i got up quickly to come out the same time as mae. sure enough there she was in all her glory! i acted real surprised like i had no idea she was in there right next to me. i wanted to be sensitive to her and just act like it's no big deal and treat her very non-chalantly. i said "hi mae, us ladies must take care of business". she nodded with a smile and said "yes we do and you sure know how to throw a very nice birthday party" and out we went.

paul novae, her man was right at the edge of the door with his arm stretched out for mae to protect her walking. it couldn't be too easy for this 91 year old legend to walk with such high lifts and a long white satin gown and her large breast's propped up to make a nice cleavage!

mae and june on the throne together is an incident i'll never forget! i went all the way eastern with that one.

*** leaving the ladies room,
*** i knew to follow mae; i was instantly protective of her.
she didn't stop to even look in the mirror, let alone to freshen her makeup.
we were alone, she could have with me. i'm sure paul told her to come straight out so he could oversee her.
he loved her very much and he was her body guard.

5. watts riots!!!! insert tor hollywood a go go

watts riots!!!!
(insert for hollywood a go go)

the watts riots started!!! just towards the end of it, oscar williams, choreographer for us dancers, told me he was going to take a drive through the watts riots! i thought he was kidding! he wasn't! i like excitement, so i asked him if i could go.

he didn't think it would be the wisest thing to do. he had a white corvette with the top down. oscar said. "okay you can come along, but i don't think they're gonna like seeing a black man driving a white woman around these parts at this time". we did it anyway! lots of burning buildings here and there. people yelling and cussing. nobody seemed to notice us.

then we were pulled over by the cops. they wanted to know if we had any weapons! of course we didn't. and that was the end of this of the wall evening! oscar drove me home. i told my mother, she couldn't believe it!

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i asked al burton, since he wanted to manage me, "how i can get a copy of the show as a keepsake?"
he said no problem, i'll set up a screening for you at four star productions.

next day i showed up and al picked out 5 different shows for me to pick from. i picked the last one, with the byrds and bob lynn with my close up. yes, the one where i blew it! i've lost it since my package was stolen from the red line waiting area! i carried it around for years.

there is a copy my best friend in the world has gwen selvage. i made her a copy!

after hollywood a go go went off the air, gwen and i became dancers on hugh hefner's show "playboy after dark". worked for one year.

6. before i went downtown. megan and i were hiding out together.

before i went downtown. megan and i were hiding out together.

i needed to spend time with megan so we stayed together at wilma's, beth's mother, megan's best friend.
this was not that far from my x condo and my husband tommy. he had his corrupt cop friends looking for me and megan.

one night we were all sitting around in our flannel pjs playing scrabble. there was a loud knock on the door!
it was the police!! we were scared. they were being nosey trying to catch me being unfit and drunk.
tommy told them i was, of course i wasn't. they snooped around and then to their surprise they were actually disturbing the piece themselves! they apologized for the inconvenience and left feeling bad in doing so. we were having such a nice moment together which was much needed at this point. i stayed there as long i could before i knew i would have to leave town. tommy would never stop having the police follow me. that's not healthy for megan.

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the girls went to the movies. i decided to call jack nicholson to say hello. i figured it would be nice to go and visit him for a minute and not even see tom johnson for a night or two. so i called jack's house. he answered.

i said "hello jack". i just wanted you to know how grateful i am that you have always called me back over the years, i also wanted to keep you updated on what's been going with me lately. jack was happy to hear from me, i could tell.

then i thought that i would invite myself over to visit him for a couple of hours. he was pleasantly surprised seemingly. he said "why yes june you can come over, that would would be very nice. and oh by the way" don't forget your panties! i didn't like hearing that part, but i just sloughed it off.

jack then told me to get ready and i'll call you back in an hour. i agreed. can't you just hear jack saying in his famous voice? "don't forget your panties" real slow and drawn out? he's funny, he really is, he was only kidding (maybe not).

now i'm all dressed up, i pulled it together. it's been an hour and a half. then it's going on two! i was starting to feel uncomfortable with no response from jack. how can he do that, why can't he at least call me and cancel etc. i couldn't wait another minute. i called him back. jack answers. i'm embarrassed to ask him why haven't you called me? but i did anyway. he said "i'm having a meeting" then he was silent. now i feel awkward. i was really looking forward to seeing him just for kicks. i'm all dressed.

then i said "are we still getting together? he said "looks like i'm going to have to pass" he was silent again. no apology or anything. i just told him "that's okay, have a nice evening". he said "will do" and that was it. little did i know that this would be the last time i would ever speak to him again.

i always thought we would be good together on screen. jack nicholson is a combination plate, he has a little bit of everything to offer everybody. he's one of a kind and he knows it! god bless him!!

7. prettymaids filming

prettymaids filming

we were filming for two months. my birthday rolled around. little did i know that the cast and crew the producer gene rodenberry and vadim, planned a birthday party! it was held on the mgm lot. i was told it's lunch time and to go to a certain lunch area. i left my personnel trailer and headed off.

when i got there, there were two real long picnic tables with everyone sitting. i wondered why we weren't just going to the cafeteria. everyone was there? then they look at me and all say "happy birthday june!! oh no! how did they plan this without mo knowing?

roger had me sit next to him and his beautiful entourage. the other maids were on the other side of me.
gifts are being handed to me. roger gave me a necklace that his assistant made from a certain tree.
rock hudson hands me a box! i opened it. it was a very beautiful choker necklace! i didn't believe this was happening. come on. rock giving me a present?

the girls gave me little things that were sweet. then the wardrobe man came over to me. he was gay. but a vicious gay towards women. he leans over arid gives me a card. he said "go ahead open it" with a big grin that wasn't normal. i did, and i was scared! the whole inside of the card was a graphic picture of a women's vagina spread open! in color! pubic hairs and all! i didn't know what to say. luckily everybody else were busy talking! i did not want them to see this! i put it away quickly. i tried to make light of it. but i was hurt to be given such trash! i guess he didn't like me. he must have been jealous or something. i wish i could have put him in his place. not the time to do it. i'm too nice to argue with most people.

rock didn't care for women. only certain ones such as carol burnett, dolly parton etc. he told me so.
i mentioned to rock that i worked with susan st. james on "where angels go trouble follows".
you know what he said to me? "i worked with her on "mc millon and wife" i could not stand her!"
i couldn't believe he said that! i guess since she was such an intelligent, quick witted woman, it was difficult for him to play her husband. see what a great actor rock was. it was agony for him to kiss all us girls too in this film. it's a job! he didn't seem to mind me. he just put up with me too! i'm sure i made him sick as well.

rock invited john david carson (the one who was still a virgin) and myself and a couple of other actors to come up to his house to go swimming. now i'm in rock hudson's pool, having cocktails etc. john was too cute for me, we were attracted to each other. him more than me. it wasn't in his kiss.

i went into rock's house to relieve myself. as i walked through a room with a stage i looked to my left and there was rock starring right at me. i guess he was getting away from the madding crowd. he scared me a little since he caught me off guard. i said "hi rock" "where's the restroom?" he said "it's over there and come back to me,
i want to talk to you". i did. he had a script in his hand.

then he said, "i want you to read this for me, get up on the stage and do it! "i got up on his small wooden stage.
(i was put on the spot, didn't like it, did it anyway) as i looked over the dialog, he said "just read it for me!
"it's not everyday your reading for rock hudson as he puts you under his microscope! i did the best i could under the circumstances. he said "that'll be all".

8. while still married to tommy mull

while still married to tommy mull

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i called jack to ask him a question. he called me back. he said "june, i'm calling you back from the set of the movie "hoffa"". "how nice of you" i told him. i asked him, even though i'm still married i'm thinking of returning to acting again, "i need an agent, do you have one you can recommend to me?"

jack said, (in an irritated voice "june, i don't know of any agencies, i don't know of any names of agencies".
i said "well jack i guess you don't need an agency, you just work fine just because of your name!
"he said "that's right".

then he said "but you need an agency, don't ya june, i can tell you one bit of advice. you must make sure, when you do get one, to make sure to call them twice a week to let them know you are waiting and checking up on them to make sure they are doing their job for you and that you don't get lost in the shuffle".

he seemed a bit aloof, i don't blame him, after all he's sitting there with his makeup on looking like jimmy hoffa, and happy to do so. it must be grand to have a lead part in a movie. i've never had one. he has earned the right for his position that's for damn sure! my hat goes off to jack. he's sweet, and i know he cares about me.
too bad i was't more secure and strong enough for him to take him on as a love interest. he was way too much for me with his mood swings. i also know that jack and i would work very well together on screen, since he knows how to push my buttons. i'm putty in his hands. he's the organ grinder and i'm his monkey!

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i could also call eliot mintz any time of the night and he would always talk to me in the wee hours of the morning. i would call him being depressed and drinking champagne etc., crying out due to isolation being married to a controlling husband who said "no" to ever acting again!

eliot even slipped me $400.00 since i wasn't given any money any more because of my daughter.
i planned on seeing al burton who produced "hollywood a go go". he was always producing a t.v. series.
i got photos taken on the side. i saw al at universal studios. gave him a package he asked for.
nothing happened. hadn't seen him since 1965! i was in my forty's now. it took me a while to pay back eliot.
i only had to pay him $300.00. wasn't that sweet of him? eliot mintz is very special, good people, and real.

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i ran into karen at the gym where i took my daughter for gymnastics classes. there's karen with her daughter too. hadn't seen her since the filming of "drive he said". now she's a great actress! she's a little kooky such as i can be when i'm in the mood. we exchanged phone numbers.

i called her up to give her an extra copy of "drive he said" to put it in her library of what ever films she had.
she wanted it.

she then asked me if i would mind babysitting her daughter for a while since she was going out to a hollywood function with her current boyfriend. i said i would. she dropped her five or six year old daughter off at 8:00 pm. she picked her up around 12 midnight. we had fun. she never got a june's painted broom. i never heard from her again.

9. moving on surviving

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my clothes were stolen that happened to be my favorite red leather overalls and cool boots etc..
i found it very hard on me to even go in this use to be high on love and creativity and too many
ups and downs to endure.

this house was just a house of old happenings that i did not need to stay one more minute longer!

then i moved to beachwood drive to a very nice courtyard with a pond full of fish. i had my own money and completely redecorated it myself except the golf course green carpet i ordered. i repainted the whole kitchen myself with multicolored drawers etc.

people always dropped by, like keith allison and all kinds of ingenuous artists whom loved me as a person vice versa. yes, i was a beachwood ranger for a while, that's what you were called if you lived on this street.

dean of jan and dean had his castle like home with the mote around it right at the end of the road.
not a bad place to live right with the hollywood sign as you're having breakfast at the small coffee shop and observe the very eccentric neighbors that drop in.

then it hit me! boy am i stupid! what am i doing?!! danny should be paying my rent!! i paid our rent for a very lonq time as danny was out of the picture as a single artist! i'm hard headed and never ask for help from anyone but in this case, it's his duty to now pay my rent.

he agreed. i picked out a house at the end of small winding road way at the top of laurel canyon hills.
danny leased me a new vw and paid utilities and a couple of hundred dollars a week which was not bad for the early 70's.

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here i go decorating again! i made a coffee table out of a radio flyer children's red wagon (brand new of course). i had clear glass cut with rounded edges for that corner edges. i put beautiful shells from the beach lightly sitting on top along with a corner of a $20.00 dollar bill sticking out of the sand and gold pieces to remind you of pieces of treasure that washed up on the shore.

i'm a beach girl must have reminders always with me. oh yes! i loved the found mermaids one of a kind pearl comb in sand as well. i love my imagination, it's so much fun. i bought a huge florescent glow in the dark flower from a prop store for movie's. inside was a wild wicked woman's head in the middle of this flower. she was over my fireplace. you see i love fun houses and would and do have ideas for a night club to be exactly that.

my logo will be on the large double door's you walk through to get in. can't devulge any more, since someone would love to steal this idea. i have so many idea's now since it's 2010 now. can you imagine? of course not, give it time love, give it time.

i got a new acting agent. a new wardrobe. i got a part right away as a waitress in a film called " journey through rosebud" tom grise directed. shot in rosebud south dakota, starring robert forester, an extremely handsome man.

10. 1977/78 j paul getty jr. the !!!

he was known as the golden hippie.
as i was talking to ed begley jr. at dan tana's bar on santa monica blvd, next to him was a very cute guy.
he introduced him to me. ed said "june, i'd like for you to meet j. paul getty jr."
i said, "how nice to meet you".

i was all excited and felt sorry for all he had gone through that was worldwide. paul jr. was kidnapped and held for ransom for three million dollars by the mafia. they had cut his ear off without any anesthetic using just a razor blade. the ear was not received for three weeks for three weeks due to mail problems. paul was put in chains and tortured. the mafia said if they did not get their money soon they will keep sending bits and pieces of paul to his billionaire grandfather. mr. getty finally gave in and paid them off. paul was found walking on a street all alone barely walking without his ear. what a horrifying thing for this sweet kid to have gone through.

here i am almost speechless and observing him and giving him and ed begley lots of smiles. we were all having cocktails.

i invited ed and paul over to my apartment for after hour drinks. they said "sure why not?".
the apartment i was in was bob sullivan's, whom was never home. i kept alive by having colorful people and good friends visit here and there.

as ed and paul are following me in my little volkswagen up the hill from dan tana's, i was thinking "good lord is this really j paul getty's grandson?" i was so excited that he was coming over to my apartment. and of course ed. ed and i always would talk here and there at the tana's bar.

they are now following me down the hall at shoreham towers. i told them to make themselves at home.
they flopped on my very comfortable classy couch. right above them was an original salvador dali painting.
my boyfriend had very rich parents, whom were close to the kennedy's etc.

i asked the sweet happy famous guys what they'd like to drink. as i looked up at them over my bar in the kitchen, they were both drinking out of brown paper bags jugs of wine! i laughed at them and so did they.
i made my favorite, vodka and cranberry juice in a bucket. i sat across from them and we just kept rambling on. ed's a genius to begin with. he did most of the talking.

we were having a very nice time i must say. i know it was very snoopy of me to make sure that was paul jr. by subtlety looking to see if he had a missing ear or not. this took a long time since cute paul had hair to his shoulders (brown hair). indeed, paul was moving his head around looking at everything and his right ear was not there. it blew me away! of course he didn't see me see or say a peep, either did ed.

i was so proud to have such good men in my living room! i'll never forget it. i was attracted to paul. he was so damn cute. anyway, it must have been at least 3:30 in the morning. it was time to say goodnight. they were so polite. i went to my room with a big smile reminiscing every moment of this experience! wouldn't you?
it was like a dream. i was in hog heaven.

11. married to tommy mull

married to tommy mull keeping in touch with the past
i gave a call to william utley. he managed "three dog night". just wanted to say hello. he actually answered the phone. i asked him how he was doing. he told me he hadn't drank at drop of alcohol in five years, and he goes jogging every day. i was happy to hear that. i told him that my mother lives right across the street and that she's coming over in a few minutes to visit and have a little wine.

since my husband is at the race track everyday, he's more than welcome to drop by and visit. he accepted the invite. mom and i are having a ball as usual. she was wearing her gold turban, looking beautiful as ever. she's in her 70's now.

there's a knock on the door. it was bill utley. he looked great! i always admired bill. he ran the guys, including danny like little puppets at times. i got a kick out of that. he was a genius in his own right. he was wearing a jogging suit. his face was like a road map. thick wavy hair salt and pepper. he was my mentor in my eyes. he joined my mother and i at the upstairs dining table.

he was just amazed to see me again and meet my mother at the same time. he had no idea i was married.
he watched us women gab with a big smile. i mentioned that i hope it doesn't bother him that we were drinking. he said "not at all, doesn't bother me a bit".

bill said he hadn't seen danny in a long time. he ended up managing some english groups at the same time he was juggling "steppenwolf" and "three dog" and it became too much. the guys didn't get enough attention.
he had spread himself too thin. he was now a paralegal! he was just fine living in the valley in a very nice apartment.

as i watched bill talk to my mother i was thinking back on chuck negron and danny button said he had ripped them off of a lot of money. since he was their business manager, he had access to all the millions of dollars they raked in etc. bill was not too tall but he sure was a big shot. little did i know at this point in my life that mr. utley would become my second husband! put that in your pipe and smoke it! that's why i threw this little encounter in. i never had hardly anyone come to visit me.

tommy was always hovering over me even when he wasn't home! i was afraid of him. i had to be very careful, to keep dr. jekyll from attacking me. bill really didn't stay too long. i didn't even show him my sleeping baby megan.

12. virginia/kathy liel

i sure was glad to get back to l.a. and my mother who always babysits my ollie. he smiled ear to ear as usual. more audition's, more parties etc.

kathy liel was joined at my hip. we were like sisters. she waited on me hand and foot. lit my cigarettes and poured my drinks. cleaned my house here and there. she sure laughed at seemingly every other sentence i'd say. what's up? oh well, what's wrong with being appreciated? she was like a sister. i never had one of those.

well, i have one now. a few weeks passed. kathy mentioned that she had to go and see her grandmother. hiatus was just setting in. i asked kathy if it would be alright to go along, i'd never been there. kathy jumped up and down and said "would you really want to come with me?" i said "sure why not?"

when we arrived in virginia it was snowing. it was beautiful. kathy's grandmother was so cute and sweet!
kathy and i shared the extra bedroom. we wore our flannel pajamas. lights out, i'm tired, it's pitch dark.
i said "goodnight kathy, sweet dreams" she didn't say anything. i guessed she just passed out.
it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

about 15 minute's went by, then i heard in a very small held back voice from kathy "june, i love you" and
i said "i love you too kathy, you are a very sweet lady"

kathy then said "june what i'm saying is that i'm in love with you". my eye's got bigger and rolled from side to side. then i said "what exactly are you saying?" she said "june, i've been in love with you the minute i met you and i just couldn't hold it in another minute" can i kiss you?" i said "no kathy, i'm not into being with a woman!"

she started crying and then started to beg for just one kiss, please june? that's all i'll ask of you! i said no kathy, now just go to sleep" "no! i won't until i can give you a kiss! "i knew to just turn my head towards hers and grabbed her hair and gave her a quick hard fast kiss". "now go to sleep, that's it! i hated to do this since i know what's up her sleeve, well it won't be mine!

kathy said "june i need more then that, i love you, i need you to let me hold you at least, please". i wanted to scream i was getting fed up and pissed off. i said "okay kathy, i'll turn on my side and you can lie spoon style behind me" she said "no! that's not what i want! i want to lie right on top of you and hump you". kathy! i have never been put in this position before, i don't like your premeditated little dream and fantasizing about this very moment. look your grandmother is on the other side of this wall. i'm at my wit's end with you!

then i don't know she just burst into uncontrollable crying like a little baby that wants her way! what did i do?
i said "get on top kathy and why don't you dry hump me and get it over with damn it!" she jumped like a cat in heat and did exactly that! thank god it was so dark i couldn't even see her face, this was unreal! i've never been confronted with such a situation! i just don't swing both ways, i guess it's not that big of a deal really (sorry it still was to me!) i was turned off.

listen, when i was young as you well know my girlfriends and i would hump pillows until we climaxed (in the 50's). that was different. i had no idea kathy was gay and too much in love with me! i told her that i would never be with her again because of this. it won't work! plus, she was always asking me for my prescribed seconals.
she'd always sneak in my cabinet and take maybe two or three more and just got way too wiped out. i warned her don't overdue pills!

we got back to l.a. and she killed herself at the beverly hills hotel. i was devastated!!

13. jack lemmon's party

during a dinner party for us pretty maids on the sand at roger vadim's house.

i slipped away to walk along the shore. i had a couple of glasses of wine. feeling pretty good. all excited to even be here. should i pinch myself?

i saw some lit flames coming out of posts in front of another house on the sand. i could hear music now. there was a tent in front of this house too. i just had to get closer! i decided to walk right in as if i knew everybody. i did so. was offered a drink by a butler. i denied it, since i'm at another party.

i was about to ask, "who's party is this?" when all of a sudden here comes jack lemmon into the room!
good god, am i in his home? i was nervous. i knew he would know i didn't belong here. i watched from across the room hiding behind the other people.

now i could observe quickly. i saw a woman on the couch. older, classy in a pretty dress to the floor. she was almost lounging as jack lemmon was doting on her. oh, could this be his wife? she had a cute face, but looked much older then jack. so what, she was catered to by him since she was so precious! he absolutely adored her.

i figured that's enough and get back to vadim's. then i noticed that mr. lemmon saw me. he looked very puzzled and didn't stop looking at me. i ran out. i was too embarrassed and scared to be confronted by him.
i ran all the way back to vadim's and ordered another glass of wine. whew! what a trip! can't i ever be satisfied in one spot? not really, i need variety!

vadim said "where have you been bright sun?" "oh just took a moment alone on the beach".

14. glen ford's party

i went to every party i could since i was healing. i went everywhere alone. this way you can leave when you want.

i got wind that there was a party at such and such address up in beverly hills. i found it. it was a nice sized impressive two story house. i walked right in as if i was invited. who turns away a nice looking girl?

it was crowded. i asked, "who's party is this anyway?" someone said "glen ford's". no way! i must find him! there he was for real! i went up and said "i just wanted to let you know how nice your party is, i've been anxious to meet you" he shook my hand and said "my pleasure" and he vanished to the bar with friends.

i decided to smoke. i needed to find out where to go. as i'm walking through a hallway a gray haired man was there. i asked where i should go, he said keep going straight back to the patio. i thanked him. i asked him "what's your name?" he said "eli wallach" i contained myself, because i knew what legend of an actor he was.

just like glen ford, you can't get much better! i found my way to the patio. there was only one small man in a brown suit looking at the moon. i made a point to see his face. i said "excuse me do you have a light?" he turns around, it was don knott's! i blew it and was way too excited over him and "the andy griffith show".

barney fife drunk as a skunk! he gave me a shit eating grin from ear to ear! he's so cute on the show, not that cute right now! i was happy to meet him of course, but not happy to see him unhappy and drunk. he was not happy i could feel it. i spent more time with him since he was so alone. he was away from the crowd and at the bottom of the glass. nevertheless, he was still sweet and polite! i always loved him and i told him so. don was the capper of this party and that was enough for me.

i never stayed at any parties too long. just long enough to meet the big ones and see how they partied!
cream of the crop crowd's were my favorite.

no more parties for a while.

15. july 17th 2009 - updates 0n performing

ian whitcomb called me and told me he was performing at the 75th anniversary of farmers market on third and fairfax in la. he said "june would you please drop by and see me perform backinq a lovely singer janet klein.

i agreed of course. haven't seen him since "hollywood a go go". that was a long time ago 65'. janet sings 30's old time songs. she's like betty boop! very pretty, dressed in the great styled dress of that era. ian surprised me since he picked up an accordion, and then a banjo, ukulele, plus harmonizing along with janet.

i was sitting right up front with jim roup a nostalgia lover and collector of anything dealing with the hippie people that were famous singers, guitar players and dancers etc. he should write a book.

towards the last half of the show ian stopped to say "since we're are dealing with the good old days of music, i was singing my hit song "you really turn me on" on "hollywood a go go". i met june wilson/fairchild. she was one of the dancers. she is now with us sitting right up front". i jumped right up and waved and smiled at the audience, with my black hat i always wore! (my stan laurel symbol).

the band played on and then i saw ian motioning for me to get up and dance. this was not rock and roll but of course i'll dance to anything, my pleasure. i began by giving the old moves from the show monkey, pony and jerk etc. then i went into my anything goes and listened to words and started to pantomime and move at the same time. i was acting and dancing at the same time.

when janet said "you broke my heart" i grabbed mine and cried and then spread out my arms and at that moment, since michael jackson had just passed a week or two at the most. i thought of him and he gave me even more strength to carry on through this long song. he became my reserve tank of fuel to keep me going stronger than ever. michael died in the month of june and now he was in june, in me to help give me even more expression in my heart and i mean maybe the audience thought i was nuts or something. i was grabbing my head and looking to the sky and then straight into the audience's eyes with great intensity. i gave it up for him and them. i become the music, i have my own loose style. no military movements for this girl. i have no age when i dance. many years ago i was working on doing slow motion movements dancing. takes a lot of energy. in michael's last rehearsal you will see him lift up his leg in slow motion. he was heading in the right direction concerning dance moves (new ones) this blew me away!!! one can always dance fast, it's comes natural. try dancing how you always do but in real slow motion. this is not easy, it must be done smooth and never break for one minute. it's not tai chi, but slow as it, rock and roll cut loose style. since i'm older now it's very hard on my back from dancing all my life. i could do one half of a song and would have to speed back up to my normal crazy out of control style.

the song he was rehearsing was a hit song. i have a great ear for picking hit tunes, this would have been a hit, hands down. i got chills when i saw him do this and heard the few notes, great musician she had didn't he.

i grieved all day long so hard, it was as heavy as when my own brother died. my condolences to his children and family members. his children will be super stars too, just watch them and see. ian wants me to be his star dancer on occasion with his rock and roll 10 piece band as he plays here and there. my pleassure.

16. off and on show ups and working on all my own ideas

i show up for the question and answering sessions at theaters concerning the films i've been in. i always tell it like it was as i do in this book. the audiences want to know what it was like working with these movie stars etc.. i tell them and don't hold back!

i always do my famous part i created in the movie "up in smoke". i made it up in five minutes and renamed myself as "the ajax lady". i had to be remembered. i knew i wouldn't be back for at least 25 years. i had to break the lens and make everyone laugh at me at the same time. this was after having a meeting with mae west at dinner.

clint eastwood's film "thunderbolt and lightfoot, being a hooker with him in a cheap motel in montana.
then him driving me back to the motel and telling him that i just burned my house down etc. as we drank vodka. he was a perfect gentlemen but we shared and things happened.

pretty maids all in a row" rock hudson stories etc. i've only done 16 films. william friedkin started me out etc.. won costarring part in the film "gunn" injured on set, replaced by another actress etc.

on occasion i'll show up at the beverly wineland hotel and sign autographs and sell my products, key chains, and button's and refrigerator magnets etc. with my tongue picture on them.

i do my own cartoons. different characters etc.. i've written ideas/stories for movies/sitcoms, children's show, my own talk show.

since my genes seem to never leave me be creatively since i am the great great granddaughter of samuel f.b. morse. morse code he developed and "the telegraph" i also have invented an amusement park ride for disneyland that everyone has wanted to do.

i've come up with a huge idea for the whole world to express themselves after death!! i have my own logo that i created. june's moon necklace.
i have my own clothing line of new and with it of mixture's of freshly needed attire. from jackets to elegant funky night attire made of silk, that's never been thought of.
i have idea's for neckties with a sense of humor. i paint my own shoes, and jeans when i feel like it. need i tell you more! i have too many ideas that are filed, and protected.

17. thunderbolt and lightfoot cont:

i was paranoid since i was mentally disturbed losing danny and burning down the house.
clint was just being a gentleman and was giving me the star treatment. he's a man isn't he and being with me all day watching me naked on top of him, would make it easier for him to want to drive me back.

we arrive outside the hotel. clint comes around and opens my door for me and lends me a hand, we started towards the front entrance. i felt like i was walking through syrup. a word has not been spoken the whole time. clint is a man of few words. i was glad he didn't speak, i could relax more.

we were now walking down a hallway and clint stops at one of the doors and said "would you like a little stolichnaya?" i was over tired wired i said "sounds okay with me" (i knew i was safe) he said "why don't you sit over there at the table". i did. i sat and watched him like a hawk! my chance to observe him now. he sure had nice arms as he opened the small freezer door. he had big shoulders that curved in at the waist. his legs went on forever. i'm into body language and facial features (especially his, good lord).

clint sat down and poured shots of vodka. we both downed a couple of them. i've seen clint in so many western's i felt as though i was in a saloon with him. i figured i might as well make the best of being with clint. no words were spoken, we just kept drinking. i watched his adams apple go up and down as he swallowed each shooter. he had perfectly etched crows feet, cute tip on the end of his nose. his nostrils were extremely sexy. nothing better then a good set of nostrils, we both have them. his sideburns were not far from elvis presley's. love his mole he had on the right side of his top lip. oh hell! he was my kind of man. a man's man. we laughed and started to loosen up a bit about the filming all day etc.

i was getting looped quickly since i don't think i had any lunch. you just want to finish the damn scene and then forget it! anyway, i figured clint wouldn't mind listening to my recent, house is gone, all my clothes, my dog made it and so did i, barely!

clint's face was fixed on me as a little boy as his father read him a horror story! his facial features were incredible! he was so into every detail as his eye twitched and lips moved slowly back and forth, pouring me more shots without even looking at the glasses. hell, i was under a microscope! "you can keep the dress and shoes from wardrobe" i was so happy to hear this. all i had a couple of pieces of clothing left. i was crying, he handed me a napkin, he said "you are a strong woman".

then i asked clint a few questions, his turn. i said "what did you do to survive before you became an actor?" he said "i was a gas station attendant, and then my wife pitched in."

he stood up and came over to me and looked down at me for a second. he was observing my condition. i was bombed and tired as an old dish rag. he held out his hand and pulled me out of my seat and held me in his arms and rocked me a little to consol me. he nestled his chin into my neck and turned his face to me and gave me a beautiful loving kiss. don't think we weren't chewing at the bit to get it on but let's be real, clint cared too much about my state of mind and body. i was wiped out and he was going to see me to my door so i could crash and get a good nights sleep and go back and get my life together. wasn't that the sweetest thing this beautiful man did for me. he calmed me down and i didn't feel alone way over here in montana.

i knew if i wanted to i could go back and see him any time of the night but i knew better and just passed out. i'll never forget being with clint eastwood! one of a kind!

18. first date with roman

one week later roman called me and said that he would be at dan tana's and would love for me to join him for a cocktail and dinner after that. i do believe it's always best to always take your own car for most occasions.
you might need it as a get away, one never knows.

i told roman i'd follow him to this top of the line japanese restaurant in century city. our cars were valet parked as roman held my hand and he walked me to our table. a blond lady was waving to roman as she was sitting at our table. to my surprise it was candice bergen! roman didn't mention this, oh well. we sat down and roman introduced me to ms. bergen, i said "what a pleasure". from then on it was just the two of them, i didn't exist! come to think of it, roman had said quickly under his breath as the door to restaurant was opened "don't say anything" which of course i had no idea what he meant. i was going to experiment a business meeting with candice and roman.

i think candice looked at me once or twice. if looks could kill i'd be dead! this had something to do with the hassle of paparazzi ruthless followings of every move roman made. this was a past issue. no one was following him now.

i made a big mistake and thought roman said "a woman behind the bushes". i open my big mouth and said "what was this woman's name?" roman looked straight at me and said loud and furiously "what woman, there was no woman!!

he was snarling like a possum ready to jump me thinking i might attack his young!! i shrank down to an inch high, i couldn't look to see who was watching me being to told off by roman polanski in public. i got up and walked quickly to the ladies room. washed my hands as i was figuring out a way to escape from this whole god awful scene! i was holding back my tears! i made it way around other tables quickly and bolted out the huge double doors. i took off in my trusty vw and went right back to my hangout dan tana's and had two stiff drinks and went straight home. i was fine and now laughing as i drove up the long and winding road to be with my faithful loving "ollie" my genius of a pet and favorite companion.

nothing like taking your own car. one never knows what can happen.

19. with roman alone.

i can't wait to find out how he is going to be with me behind closed doors!

in my eyes he's one of the finest directors. i hadn't any intentions on getting a part in any of his movies, just wanted to meet him.

we all know the unfortunate nightmares. he's been through, the manson murders a year ago or so. that's too much for anyone. i renewed my glass of wine and passed the time away in the ladies room refreshing my drunken face. once in a while so someone would knock on the door, i made them all use another one,

i'm too much in another world fantasizing about roman and i alone. looking in the mirror i'll make lips even prettier with an unnoticed perfect line around them, i'm good at this. men sure love watching a ladies lips move as they fantasize all kinds of things. i used my favorite mauve rose color. a little more powder and finger fluff my long brown hair, there, it clicked, i looked just right. now one tinkle as i stare into oblivion fantasizing roman on top of me kissing me, running his fingers up and down the curves of my body. another sip of wine as i'm still in a daze. i look at my watch and it's time to get my beautiful ass up i've only got five minutes left. oh god i just know he's there already i must run to him!

i opened the door and entered the main room. there's a cluster of people in front of my view, then way on the other side of the room there he was. roman was waiting at the foot of the stairs! my heart was pounding with excitement! he saw me and gave me a little toast from afar. i walked slowly towards him as if i were gliding on air, my eyes were fixed on him as i approached, we were both smiling, his eyes were extra bright. i signaled him with my eyes looking up to the top of the stairs. he turned and took the lead ahead of me to the top of the stairs. roman stopped in front of the blue door to the right. with key in hand i turned it and it didn't open, i tried again, there we go, thank god, we are in the room, i closed the door.

there was this king size beautiful victorian bed with these delicate crystal night lights on each side, and a painting to die for above it so erotic with a man and woman caressing her breasts peeking out from her layers of satin material. i simply sat down on the edge of the bed and roman grabbed a blue velvet chair and pulled it over right in front of me. he sure was admiring my legs and worked his way up as if he could see through my dress.

i raised my glass to roman and said "here's a toast to you roman, my favorite director, whom directed and starred in "the tenant". you scared the heck out of me when you put on the dress and stuck out that long orange tongue out and then jumped out the window! he laughed as we clanged our glasses smiling ear to ear! then he leaned up and kissed me with a strange look on his face so i asked him "what an unusual chain with those two initials 'st' in ivory, he said "these are sharon's", (meaning sharon tate of course). i said they're beautiful." then roman switched quickly and mentioned that some of his family were in polish concentration camps as he stared at the floor. he was so sweet to have shared this with me. i have to say i was a bit scared since i don't know this man at all. i'm playing with fire regardless. i knew to be on my toes anyway.

20. blue room cont.

all of a sudden roman looked at me with a smile as he put his hand in the middle of my rack and gently pushed me towards the sink that had a large framed mirror over it. then roman said "get up on your toes with your boots on, we must have your boots on!"

then i heard a clang then a zip! roman said "you must do it with me now!" he was commanding me with a stiff upper lip using a hitler like voice! he fished around in his left pocket and i heard a crack! he then put his fingers under my nose and said "breath in now!" i did, there was a horrible odor going in my nose, it was disgusting! roman said "don't worry it's just an amyl nitrate, it's harmless." my heart sped up so fast it was slapping hard against my chest like a sparrows! i panicked and told roman, i can't take this, i'm scared to death!!!

then he pulled my dress up with a twisted look on his face in the mirror and his tongue moving back and forth as he was trying to grab himself feverishly, i freaked and stood straight up and he said "what are you doing, turn back around! " i said. "no, i need to sit down, i'm dizzy, we are finished!" he said "don't be such a stupid baby, everything is fine" he was far too worked up to stop trying, he gave me a kiss as he brushed his hand across my breast, he was all sweaty on his face, he said "quickly get back to the sink on your toes please!" i just told him, i feel sick with this stuff you gave me, i can hardly breath.

i grabbed my purse and fumbled around to find a pen and paper as he's grabbing my hair and kissing the back of my neck. damn where's my pen? ah there it is! i gave him my # as he's quickly pulling himself together so disappointed. (too bad)

roman i'm not use to this, it's too out there for me to relax at all! i think we both need some rest. call me some other time. maybe we can be a little less animalistic and slowly get to know each other a little more and a little less intoxicated".

he looked at the floor and said, "i understand" not in a feel good voice. i could understand that. roman vanished. that was it.

anything can or can't happen on alcohol, let alone this amyl nitrate? no thanks, not my cup of tea. but i will add, i'm not a cod fish! i love to feel good with the right man at a surprising moment, who doesn't want to find love again if you're lucky. i'm wound up, i can't sleep.

21. book dedicated

this book is dedicated to my daughter megan and my brother jerry.

22. x con drunk as a skunk

yes, i got vince drunk on purpose so i could take him back home and let him sleep it off and wait for tommy. tommy is a people person and i just knew he would be happy to see vince again. so i told vince to take a nap on the big couch downstairs. he passed out like a light! i knew he could use some rest. i did the right thing accommodating him.

it's going on four hours now and the suspense is killing me waiting to see how tommy is going to take this little situation. vince is snoring and i'm waiting on pins and needles.

i got a call from megan, i knew she was spending the night at her girlfriend's house and her mother picked them up and she was safe and sound as a dollar, not to worry about my baby, that's for sure.

i just sat at the dining room table and pretty much watched vince sleep! god i wish tommy would get home! sure enough there's the sound of the turning key as usual. i was stiff as a board with anxiety! tommy opens the door! i got direct eye contact with him and went shhhhhhhh your friend is sleeping. i didn't know what to do with him (in a whispering voice) i made it like it was tommy's fault to put me though his wayward friends like this. he's been waiting for you tommy, take over. tommy looked down at him and then up at me on the split level dining room. he was summing up this picture real good. he was getting suspicious, remember he's psychic. i just ran down the stairs and yelled at vince to wake up and then tommy comes over to him and helps me to get him up.

thank god he didn't go off on me! the littlest thing set him off, why not this picture? vince comes around with a big smile to see tommy. they give each other big old bear hugs. yeah! everything is okay!

tommy sat down at one end of the dining table, i sat at the other. i wanted to hear exactly how close they were. vince slaps tommy on the back and then kisses him on the cheek! he kept kissing tommy as tommy had a huge smile on his face. he was making tommy melt as he did me a little. wait just a cotton pickin minute.
does tommy swing both ways? does vince? i don't know but they sure are close one way or another! i'm confused and disgusted at the same time. tommy needs love and attention. tommy has a hidden secret, maybe he doesn't even know, who knows? i'm done with all of this!!!

the x con conned me into letting him in and conned tommy out of money you name it. it's none of my business, and i'm glad this chapter's over. it's really not worth talking about is it?

23. more parties i went to

what to sell on ebay to make money
since i was in "head", the monkee's movie, i was closest to mickey dolenz. he was having a birthday party.
i went looking in thrift shops to find something to wear something different. boy did i ever! i came across the exact outfit he wore when he starred in his own series "circus boy".

he was the circus boy. it was a red ring leader's outfit, hat and all. it fit so perfectly. i put sideburns on my face.
i even went as far as putting a large sponge in pants to look like i had a big package! it was funny!
i show up knocking at his door. mickey opens it. he just stared at me and then freaked out! "no way june how did you get my outfit?" he replies. then he laughed real hard with his cute scrunched up face! i was given lots of attention with this getup.

mickey showed us his new present a brand new laser machine! it was a big deal then. i partied there for a couple good hours. it was time to go home. i drove back home. i walk in and there was something very wrong. my living room was practically empty. my music center etc. my closet was stripped of all the good stuff! i was devastated! thank god they didn't take ollie too! i was robbed again after i regrouped. this happens a lot in laurel canyon.

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a glass of wine and eliot eases your pain! lovely man. i went and visited eliot all the time and quite a few of his parties. you have to take a tram to get to his house, it was straight up hill. i cut my hair short and wore a suit like a man. his house was packed with people. i couldn't take it all at once. eliot got me a cocktail. he was so sweet and cute and intelligent. he's a public relation expert. he handles the big shots. yoko ono was one of them.

eliot tells me to follow him and we go into a room on the side. there they are john lennon and yoko ono sitting on a rug with their legs crossed very close together! i had to contain myself! eliot says "junie i want you to meet john and yoko, it's her birthday". i said "my pleasure. how old are you?" yoko said "forty" then i said "forty? you don't look it". she smiled and so did john. what a stupid thing to say to her. i was just very nervous and wasn't thinking! i got to meet them! wow!!!

i suppose they didn't want to mingle too much, it's too big of a sighting to see them walking around casually.
at eliot's everyone is special and happy to be thrown together.

i go to get another drink, who walks by me? sal mineo. i had to stop him by saying "hey dino!" and he turned his head quickly and walked up to me. he said hello. he had the name dino in a wonderful old movie he was in.
he was handsome and had an infectious smile. beautiful teeth and black wavy hair. i told him how i loved him in that movie. not sure of the name of it, maybe it was "dino".

i moved on and then ricky nelson walks by! get out! again i was blown away and had to tell him how much
i loved him too! i loved his song "garden party" etc.. a night with special stars!

24. time passes by megans five years old now

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we had a gorgeous swimming pool with crystal clean water. everyday since megan was born i would take her to the pool. she adapted to the water like a little seal. she became an excellent swimmer.

there was a knock on the door. it was two gorgeous young men. the one man spoke for both. he said "we're looking for a condo and have no idea who to speak to here can you help us?" the silent man had very long curly eye lashes. he was almost too cute. i told them what to do. then the fast talking guy said, "my name is jason priestly. thank you very much".

before you knew it they were at the swimming pool. megan was around five years old at this point.
jason would sun bath quite often in a very skimpy bikini briefs alone as well.

once a month i was unable to swim since i was having a bad menstrual day. megan was alone and getting bored. jason shows up as usual. he jumped in the pool. he started to swim with megan and goof around.
she liked him. he was very sweet with her. i mentioned to jason after watching him dive so beautifully, that megan doesn't know how to dive correctly. he taught her how. she became excellent at it because of jason.

then out of the blue jason said "don't you know who i am?" i said "no should i" he said "don't you ever watch tv series?" i answered "no i'm too busy with megan and her friends." then he said "haven't you ever watched "90210" the series? "nope, sorry" he just couldn't believe i was so nonchalant. then i made a point to turn this program on. hell! he was pretty much the star of this huge series! it was the hottest series going!

then i find he's the newest heart throb in hollywood! good lord, now i'm very impressed with jason!
no i wasn't thinking too much about him to fantasize about him. he sure was a joyous gentleman to be around. he did remind me of my brother stewart. his features were similar. so megan and i had encounters with jason priestly. weren't we the lucky ones?

25. x con at the condo

i just got back from dropping megan at kindergarten. there's a knock at my door. i opened it and there stood a very handsome man. he had on a blue suit, no shirt and no shoes. his hair was semi long and straight.
he looked like a hip surfer in the middle of burbank. who is he and what's he doing at my door?

he then said "i'm looking for tommy mull, doesn't he live here?" "i use to work for him, i was one of his drivers". (i relaxed a little after hearing this as i looked deep in his crystal turquoise eyes unable not to) then he says "i just got out of the pen and i'm wearing an armani suit, isn't it cool?" i know i don't have a shirt and shoes but you know how it is". (oh jesus, now i'm a little uncomfortable)

then he says "i use to work for tommy about five years ago" then he says "doesn't he live here?" i told him yes and that he's not home right now he's working as usual running pdq express" i was nervous to bring him in the house thinking if tommy showed up he would instantly go off on me with his jealousy and moods.

but i did offer him a glass of water since it was in the 90's and it's my hostess ways as usual. of course he accepted, i'm a pretty woman and all.

so i asked him to come in and i'll make a phone call to reach him and let tommy know he's here to see him and please hurry home. i had him sit at the dining room table as i made the call.

his main man downtown told me he left about an hour ago and headed to the track as usual. now what am i going to do with all this free time, should i make him leave and tough it out there in the heat, or let him wait and entertain him? i figured i'd just talk with him a short while and see what makes him tick. i do love studying people it's my favorite thing. i rarely talk to adults. i'm always with the children.

it's not everyday that i get to sit alone with a brand spankin new handsome man. (tommy not the best looking man and not that nice to me)

actually i was glad to have such a visitor, after all this is a long lost fellow worker of my husband, it's okay, relax. i had been hidden and alone and treated badly off and on for 12 years. the fact that he looked like a male model made it easy to sit with him. heck, even his feet were pretty.

i explained how tommy and i met so on and so forth. i didn't ask what he was in prison for etc. i figured forgery. i'm good at reading people. tommy was an outlaw too i knew that.

since i can't remember his name we'll call him vince. i was ready for a beer i was still a little paranoid regardless. i offered vince one, of course he accepted. then we just kept talking and drinking. i was uneasy. i could feel an undercurrent in vince.

he then said "boy tommy sure hit the lottery with you, you are a gorgeous babe". he came right over to me and gave me a kiss. i was really on edge now. it was just a little peck and i knew he hadn't kissed a woman in a long time, i really didn't mind.

i told vince don't do that again. tommy would kill me and you. that made me more nervous. i made a mistake. then vince just came over to me and tried to kiss me some more. i refused. i was standing up to push him away! he leaned over me to get my back on the table. now he was becoming tense and forceful. he started kissing me more and i could feel he had a hard on.

i pushed him and said "stop, that's enough. let's go for a drive" i had to get him out of the house where i would be safer" he went for it. i took him to the closest bar and paid for hard drinks to get him drunk. it was working. i got him comatose.

26. legally blonde - after party

young women in silver mini space suits were also taking turns dancing on these boxes. the music throughout this huge mausoleum marble building was alternative music, cold without any soul. let's put it this way, it wasn't the warmest atmosphere.

i didn't recognize any faces. i felt like a fish out of water. i could not find mr. ray! this is what really bothered me. he just disappeared into the sea of people and i could feel made no effort to find me. i felt removed and invisible. usually, i'm the life of the party. not this time, i felt this was a waste of my time.

an hour had gone by at least. i've been on my feet the whole time in agony since the few seats sprinkled around were never vacated. i'm not having much fun here. i couldn't take it anymore and got in line for 15 minutes to get a drink. it was five bucks for a screw driver. good thing i had some cash on me. i told them to make it strong!

i walked up to complete strangers to chat and try to talk of the movie. they were short and aloof. poor, poor junie. it's just a tad depressing.

i walked half way up the marble stairs and just sat down on the stairs and took my heels off! what a relief! my heels were bleeding underneath the band aids i put on since they were a bit tight to begin with. the six inches forced my toes into the ends so they were all going to a point! it felt great to bend them back!

i decided to get one more drink. i didn't even put the shoes back on, they were too swollen. thank god for the first drink, it was hitting me quickly since i haven't had hard liquor for some time. i downed the second one and got a fixed smile on my face. that's better than nothing.

i do believe another hour must have gone by observing this fiasco! i headed back downstairs and was ready to get the hell out of here! low and behold there's david ray! somehow i put my heels back on before he saw me. they were one size too small.

i went right up to him and said "i'm ready to go" he said "just give me 30 more minutes". christ! he was selling himself to all others about his talk show. another hour had passed seemingly and i was in tears! i was a walking zombie amongst the crowd. i found a vacant chair and took the heels off again!

i spotted mr. ray and ran to him and said "i've got to go now!" he said "okay, let's hit it" then he said "listen, i had to let the limo go since i only paid for half the night, my car is parked in the underground parking here, the elevator is over there". i was so disappointed and tired i didn't, give a rats ass!

we got into his nice small bmw. as we're driving back he says "make sure wally picks a picture with me in it next to you. i reassured him since he was right behind me, he will be. he said that he also wanted to interview me on his cable talk show. that's nice of him.

i was just glad to see leon's dungeon cabin, my castle. as we pulled in front mr. ray said "oh i forgot to tell you, you're going to have to give back your dress, i promised them." i said, "really, i thought i would get to keep it maybe". he said "no, it's only been rented, so if you don't mind, go in and take it off and bring it out to me." "oh by the way, you can keep the choker and purse".

i was glad it was all over and said goodnight. the house was dark. i changed and gave back the dress. leon comes home and i told him i had a wonderful time!

yeah right! couldn't wait to medicate my feet and get some sleep, this cinderella has plenty of chores in the morning.

27. 12-13-05 tommy chong comes to visit

i always kept tommy informed whenever i had to change my phone number etc.

tommy called one evening and said "june, its tommy, i need to meet with you soon. you are definitely going to have a featured part in cheech and my new movie. this time you will be given credit for writing it your own way, as you did in up in smoke". this is for real. you have the green light!

the following day at 12 noon tommy is picking me up to go to lunch. i'm outside all excited. here comes a black truck at the end of my street. it pulls up to me. it's tommy! he had a brand spanking new happening pickup truck. it wasn't a small one either. he said "hold on a minute i can't find a parking space". he went around the block and stopped in front of me and said "hop in, we'll find a place to eat" i did and it was a little difficult to get my butt up to the seat, it was high up to me.

his truck was clean as a whip. i couldn't help but notice right in front of my feet was a huge big round freshly gutted out navel orange peel precisely done where it almost looked like there was something in it. there wasn't. this guy is a genius at peeling oranges. i said "love the orange touch, makes me feel right at home". tommy laughed a good one. i gave him a little peck on the cheek.

in little tokyo there are a few lined up small restaurants. tommy said he'd been in there before. we parked at the underground parking lot on 1st. and central.

we walked through the japanese plaza. first i pointed out two spots with umbrellas where i would hang out with the old hawaiian cronies. no i didn't ever mention pearl harbor to anyone ever. i must add they seem prejudiced towards us white people, but they sure like taking our money. some were nice, some weren't just as we are.

tommy said "let's go across the street to the little places to eat, i love those.

he picked one, we sat down. i ordered a budweiser. tommy said "i don't drink" he ordered green tea.

tommy said "so are you still in your cardboard house?" i said "yes of course and after lunch i'll bring you up into my room". tommy said "okay i will". i asked tommy "so what kind of movie are we going to do?" "a biker movie and you'd make a great cool biker chick". "you'll be living in a cardboard box".

then he said "i'm sitting with the real goods. june you have always been ahead of everyone" how sweet of him.

i did tell tommy what a perfect come back line (which also became famous) after i did my nutty faces and noises i made up in five minutes. tommy just had to bounce off me off the top!

he told me how he managed this. he said "i simply became your audience. i do that in all my movies".

28. tommy chongs visit cont;

yes, tommy chong is a very smart and seriously funny person.

tommy mentioned cheech has changed. he's just not the same anymore. they were having their differences on other levels. i can't tell all plus i don't know all the details, it's none of my business. when it comes to directing a movie this can make or break a film. who's directing? who's editing? movie scoring? all can make or break it. is this actor really right or not? will there be enough money to produce it correctly? it's like baking a cake with a certain recipe. it's a hit or kinda shitty. just like cutting a record. picking the right members for a rock group, same thing of course. how do they get along? egos. egos also make or break it. singers always get paid more then the musicians i could go on and on.

cheech and chong held up for a long time. they made a good team. shortly after this meeting, they broke up. ouch! that hurts.

i'll never forget tommy years ago as an old grumpy man on stage at the troubadour acting real uptight on a park bench hitting imaginary pigeons with his cane. "god damn pigeons, get out of here" he was a master on stage. i was one of the lucky one's to be there.

cheech isn't chopped liver. he's one of a kind. he's a silly nut on camera, but very serious and dedicated to performing and art etc. these guys both are top business men.

the point is i loved the way tommy shared his honest feelings as he was watching me like a hawk at the same time. i was under his microscope.

i can relax around tommy, even though i'm a live nerve ending with little feet.

i mentioned to tommy that i was writing my life story. he liked hearing that.

of course we've been eating through all the talk. my beef and rice dinner was served in a black cast ironed turtle. it was a very cute how the food was inside his shell-less back. it was very heavy to pick up to take the rest of my food home. i picked it up and scraped every grain of rice out into the box to go. i set the ass of the turtle into the box to do this and tommy said "are you going to take the turtle too?" i said "no for heavens sakes". he was laughing at me being so fastidious.

as we were walking to my hotel i asked tommy, "so when do you think we can start filming your biker movie? he said "i'm more interested in your life story. this surprised me.

i told tommy this hotel is one step up from a flop house. he asked the price, i told him s425.00. he said "boy june you sure get the good deals".

i told him this is the happiest i've ever been. this is my think tank. i opened my door (room 215) and said "here's my trailer, minus the wheels. he said "so, this is it huh? i said "yep! pretty much".

tommy sat in my wicker hand painted chair with my logo on it. i had a custom necklace made for it in 18 carat gold, with a ruby in the middle, (can't divulge what it is yet until i become rich and famous for all my ideas i have tucked away. you'll see later.)

tommy said, in regards to my movie, start writing all kinds of short stories etc. tommy left.

tommy called after the bongs being sold on the website nightmare. he said "june, i'm on my way to kern county prison to work on those stories. when he got out i worked constantly. i wrote for another year.

29. pond scum

taking a break from chris's apartment when i needed to get out of chris's place for exercise i started walking east on oxnard.

i noticed a woman sitting outside. i said "hello". she was red in the face and crying profusely. i knew this from afar. i asked her if she was okay. she said "not really" now i could see she'd been crying quite a bit. i asked "is there some thing you'd like to talk about, us ladies do stick together, i'm a good listener?" i said my name is june, what's yours"? "mary anderson" she replied. "it's my landlord. he beats me when he gets drunk. " then i did notice bruises on the other side of her face. i said "if you don't mind i'd like to help you with this one." mary said "i don't mind, let's go inside"

we walked to the second floor up her stairway. "she went shhhhhhhhh, that's his door right to the left of mine" she opens the door and there's two good sized high bred cocker spaniels, blond colored golden hair with long floppy ears. their tails were wagging 90 miles an hour. if you turned their tails into brooms they'd sweep the whole apartment in 15 minutes.

mary had a very homey atmosphere. a rocking chair next to a very nice sound system made of dark brown wicker. there was a very old fashioned couch on the other side of her living room against the wall.

i looked over to the right and there was a round table with an old fashioned table cloth on it. it was right at the end of her nice modern small kitchen, dishwasher and all. then mary said "here's where i keep all my poetry and family photos. " "i was married and had a son and daughter. both very good looking."

then mary said "follow me". she took me down a long hallway which was carpeted as the whole living room and dining room. she pointed out "here's the bedroom, i never sleep in here." i noticed a lot of newspaper all at the foot of the bed on the carpeted floor. mary said "don't mind the newspapers my dogs poop and pee on them while i'm napping or busy cooking, or sleeping with my naps. i take them out for their walks to the liquor store at the end of the block so they can do their duty outside. i said "oh makes sense to me" i thought to myself, how gross, since there were logs all over and wet papers, couldn't she have taken them out a little more often. mary said she was sorry for not cleaning this up yet, i wasn't expecting any guest". i said "oh who cares, here, let me have the honor". i picked up and put it all in a big ball and threw it in the trash in the kitchen. mary thanked me and said "i have very bad arthritis in my lower back." i said "no problem".

you saw the bathroom across from the bedroom, "let's have ourselves a sit down" i had never heard this expression before, but with her southern drawl it was very cute, she told me to sit in that chair on that end and i'll make us a drink. what would you like, wine or vodka? i said "i'll have what you're drinking. " she made two tall glasses of vodka with coca cola. she poured this out of 80 proof red labeled smirnoff, it was a tall fifth, half full.

i told her "thank you very much. it's a pleasure to meet you." by the way mary, i've been thinking about your lowlife landlord. let's call him pond scum!!! she laughed so hard she almost fell off the chair! she said "june that's the perfect name for him, let's toast to pond scum" we did over and over again. mary told me she's was born in texas, and while she was talking she just went right ahead and took her blouse off and wasn't wearing a bra! nice breasts and not small. she said "i hope you don't mind, it's just us ladies having a sit down.

30. mary anderson and pond scum cont;

anyway, i have never seen a newly met woman just take off her shirt like that. i pretended to her "who cares". mary explained how these beatings began.

one day she was so lonely and had been drinking and a bit behind on her rent, she went and knocked on pond scum's door.

he's a black man who looks like the creature from the black lagoon. she got up and imitated how he would walk bow legged and hunched over across the room with a horrible look on her face. now i was cracking up!! mary was, hilarious at this acting him out.

then mary said he would invite her into his apartment and he would always be drinking brandy. they would talk for a while and then he'd get her into his bed and get all he could from her. if she didn't, that's when he would slug her in the face and arms and back. i walked around mary to check out her back. indeed there were bruises on it and one of her arms and i lifted her hair back and her whole right side from ear to jaw was darkly bruised. i was appalled!! he can't get away with this! when a lonely woman living alone and drunk and goes over there she is subjecting herself to this cruelty! i asked her to please stay away from him. never knock on his door. i don't care if you are behind in rent. she told me "well junie, i have stopped". now i take great pleasure in irritating the hell out of him with playing my favorite music real loud. stevie nicks. madonna ramma. that's her nick name she called madonna. she knows it drives him nuts. oh yes and lots of real white country and western music. then she said "let's have another drink, would you like to dance i said "i'd love to! she put her top back on (thank goodness). we toasted to pond scum, mary turned up fleetwood mack, stevie nicks real loud (he's always home this piece of shit landlord). we danced to a whole side of one of their best albums for at least 30 minutes. we were laughing and having a ball!

we became instant friends. mary was such a sweet giving lady, younger than i, maybe 10 years or so.

mary offered for me to move in. i accepted. she didn't like me living with chris' rules and jumping over walls to live in a garage, etc.

she gave me the back bedroom with a patchwork quilt on the queen size bed with a silver rounded headboard.

we were getting tired, it was time to go to sleep.

when i woke up real early in the morning i walked down the hall to check on mary. she was sound asleep with her bare feet sticking out the end of a hand knitted blanket. i couldn't help but notice her toes. i looked a little closer and there was tuffs almost balls of dog hairs in between all her toes. she had real fuzzy toes. i was pretty turned off to this sight. no, it was disgusting. her dogs shed around the clock for months obviously. mary's bad back and drinking kept her from vacuuming. i knew that. i would vacuum for her when she gets up after we straighten ourselves out from drinking last night.

i went back to use the bathroom. as i was on the throne i looked to my left and watched one of her dogs taking a healthy dump. i was in a daze and thought, how long can i last here? too much drinking again. the few people i knew in the valley were all alcoholics, including myself. i was still happy at least i can stay in a very talented lady's apartment and share/show and tell stuff. help her with the monster next door.

mary would make scrambled eggs and to my surprise she would feed her dogs with her spoon and say "here's your neeners" i've never seen a person feed their dogs their food off their plate with the same spoon. beanie weenies out of the little cans and hand them one at a time "here's your neeners" it was disgusting.

31. pond scum cont.

yes mary also spoon feed her childlike dogs macaroni and cheese. i've never seen a spoon go three ways at once into two dogs and a woman before in my life. talk about being behind the scenes. look, if i'm going to live with a complete stranger i'm going to examine them like a hawk. i have and i also love finding out what makes a person tick. i'm not putting sweet mary down, i just don't understand this ritual. swapping spit with two old dogs whom desperately need a bath and whose eyes are constantly running down a dark brown line along with this pungent ear odor can be a bit of a turn off. maybe i made her feel so comfortable she could really relax. vodka also helps this behavior. i'm lucky to be here no matter what.

i just remembered the name of the famous tv show mary was on for almost a year "designing women" she was a secretary or a business woman. i must look her up on the computer, and so can you. mary anderson.

i absolutely loved listening to mary. she was loaded with non-stop stories and her poetry was read to me everyday. she was frustrated being alone so much. one tends to talk quite a bit to oneself. in fact i began to realize that's why she wanted me to be there. to be her live in sound board/ audience. she missed acting just as much as i did. luckily she would also return the favor to me and hung on every word i'd say. men rarely let us do this. i also would draw pictures of pond scum and crack her up. i made up little stories and illustrations etc. we'd sing together and danced everyday to the blaring, speaker cracking music. this also took care of pond scum next door, he never knocked on the door to complain because he knew i was staying there and saw mary's bruises. i'm a bit of a witness now. this of course didn't help me in the drinking department, but i suppose i was paying for my keep as well to help mary get well. it didn't hurt for her to also help cook and clean her place. this knitted us together as a new meant to be friendship. i decided i would like to do a play with mary. we'll call it (the acting company) the aaa/triple a theater co. this stands for arthritic, alcoholic, actors theatre group. mary loved this idea, which i've made sure it's protected and no one can steal this title. take heed about that.

michael casey dropped by (my old shoe of a soldier) always in my corner. i wanted mary to meet him and spend a little time since i was giving all my time to her.

mary made him a drink and we all had a sit down. michael wanted to help mary's situation. he did not approve of this landlord's behavior. when you are an investigative reporter for the l. a times they don't take things lightly. he was going to get mary to move out of her place and put her in the garage were she would be safe. mary didn't want to budge at all so she simply out of the blue blew her stack and threw him out the door screaming "don't you ever come back!!" her face acted as if he were a very irritating mosquito or something. i've never seen her flip her cookies in such a manner. after all southern bells are very refined and gracious to their guests. not to this man. she just couldn't stand the sight of him. this made me scratch my head a bit. oh well, it is her domain.

mary was mad at me and chewed me out and said "june never let michael near this place again".

32. pond scum cont.

she came towards me and grabbed me by the hair and said "do you hear what i just said!!! " i replied "yes mary don't worry, sorry he upset you so. would you please let go of my hair you are hurting me" she went "oh, june, i'm so sorry, please forgive me, i don't know what came over me". i told her no problem, let's forget the whole thing"

then mary decided to go to the back closet where her two black cats slept. she hated one and she said "that's it. blacky going out of here, i hate him" and she ran back to catch him. i ran behind her to stop her. she was too driven to give up on getting a hold of it. she ignored my plea to please don't bother blacky, he is minding his own business. mary said "yeah well my son gave him to me and just dumped onto me to feed, no more!"

i couldn't take it and just sat and prayed on the couch that she wouldn't hurt this cat. out runs the cat right in front of me looking for a place to hide. they sense danger real quick. i'll be damned if she didn't get a hold finally of the cat's neck and walked to the outside patio balcony and just threw it over real hard.

i screamed "mary no! look what you did. how could you do such a thing? that's inhumane and cruel and darn right crazy!!!" i was crying and yelling at the same time. she said "i don't give a shit, now i'm rid of the damn thing" she went to make another drink.

i quickly looked over the balcony to see if the cat was alive! mary's apartment was three flights up or so. i looked across the pool and i did see a tail go through the neighbor's fence. i was relieved. i said "well mary, i do believe blacky landed on his feet regardless as they all do, but at least he's out of your life and won't have to put up with your treatment of him anymore. i'm leaving!!

mary runs towards me and begs me "please don't leave june, i'm sorry!" i said "mary, that was way too much for me, i need a break from you". she stood in front of the door so i couldn't get out! i said "move mary now, or i will never see you again" that worked. she moved and said "would you please come back and be with me again soon?" i said "sure mary, i just need some fresh air" she said "i love you june". i said "i love you too, why don't you take a little nap or something, i'll call you in a while. it's time for me to check up on chris and michael".

i ran to the liquor store and bought a beer/budweiser and found michael and spilled the beans and he said "i'm sending the paramedics now. mary needs to be checked out. i'm moving her out of there. i've asked owen if it's okay if mary lives in our garage, she will pay you rent, dogs and all." she agreed.

this all happened and now mary was setting up shop amongst a ton of boxes and exercise bikes and old mattresses etc. at least the beatings are over from pond scum and mary's safe. she also only paid $150.00 or $200. 00 a month instead of $1600.00 a month it didn't take long for her to adjust. now she's loaded with dough.

mary lived in the garage for 8 months. had too many visitors. all the local can collector's (oil can andy, pedro), others right and left. all drinking and mary always the hostess. i of course would visit here and there. dog feces here and there. mary used the same bucket i shared with michael. look at least i wasn't on the streets. i was on welfare. can't pay rent on $200.00 cash a month and $120. 00 for food stamps. you can get by with a free roof. i'm not one for sleeping on any streets.

33. mary leaves garage

michael's wife grew tired of mary living in the back. so mary bought a van from the owner of one of the two liquor stores she lived at for food.

she was ripped off for paying an extra $2000.00 just from this greedy owner (no names mentioned here). she parked her van at the park a few blocks north of her old apartment.

i was always busy focusing on how i needed to get back to work eventually. it was a luxury not to work for a while. i got by, michael kept an eye.

it was time for me to visit mary and see the van etc. she wasn't hard to find. michael walked me over to her spot. there was the van. mary and fred campbell were sitting outside drinking talking and watching the dogs.

when mary saw me she practically knocked me down with the biggest hug, smiling ear to ear. she made me a drink. i noticed she had a black cocker spaniel. i ask her where's the other one? mary said she died, which killed her. so she added another one for company for her other old blond cocker whom was now blind.

mary showed me her van inside. what can i say other then it was just big enough for her and two dogs. mary said "june don't mind the spots of blood on the carpet, my new cocker has been on her period. with my back worsening it's very difficult to keep it spotless around the clock. i agreed and understood. it was a little stinky in there since it was 90 degrees that day.

mary was drunk as a skunk. one must have at least one drink in order to be with mary for very long in her condition. she's been like this for years. but i will say when she was sober she was very conservative and smart as a whip. and kept herself very clean and wore a cowboy hat and expensive very beautiful blouses etc. i loved talking with her sober of course, and so was i. i don't need to drink but sometimes i just do to lighten the blow of my current existence. have i not been spiraling down since my husband bill utley left me and he himself is high and dry and living comfortably in his swanky convalescent home. i would visit him often believe it or not. i even sleep in his twin bed next to his roommate.

what to sell on ebay to make money
i would spend the night occasionally with francis, the apache indian woman on her floor. i gave her food stamps so she could get anything she wanted for dinner. michael was there all the time. we'd sleep on the floor. we would buy her malt liquor beers.

words of wisdom.
never drink with an indian or at least this one. for someone as sweet as she is, she'd change to a raving maniac. it's just the alcohol of course.

her son eddy said don't give mom anymore beer she goes nuts. i found this out after she came straight at me and picked me up by the hair as i was sitting and talking to her on a tablet of paper since she was born deaf. i did not know sign language.

she threw me out the door and said "get out!!!" and then threw my purse and two bags of necessities. i was on the balcony on my hands and knees with a look of horror on my face and embarrassment. what came over francis to do this to me? we were good friends.

i ran to cambridge farms market since michael was making a run for beer. i told him as i was crying what happened. we just sat down in the laundromat and drank a beer.

then went out back behind the market and had another beer. i was fine now. but i must say that was no fun at all and abuse is something i cannot tolerate (from anyone).

michael said "brace yourself june" mary drove into the liquor store got a jug of wine, got back into the van and died". i was devastated!! broke my heart!! what a horrible slow suicide.

34. elliot mintz finds murderer!!

not all that long after meeting sal mineo, he was murdered! he was elliot's best and dearest friend.

sal was found in an underneath parking lot off sunset blvd. he was stabbed to death!

it became an unsolved mystery! elliot decided to find the murderer. he didn't stop looking for one solid year! he found him finally. it was a black man whom to this day is still in prison! eliot has never been the same without sal. when someone is as special as he you're are just not the same.

i love eliot as a long lost dear friend, since i haven't seen him in years.

35. saving the homeless womens dorm at the union rescue mission

subject – saving the homeless womens dorm at the union rescue mission

aug. 9, 2001

left to right v.t. mertz, vice president, union rescue mission state senator richard polanco june fairchild got mr. polanco to get the money.

36. richard dreyfus

i was staying at pam kath's for a while after the fire. pam was married to terry kath one of the members of the huge group "chicago". terry died from an accident or something. pam had been divorced for a while and i never asked her about her marriage.

one night i wanted to take pam to my hangout "dan tana's". i always goof with the big stars one way or another. one example, i noticed arnold schwarzenegger sitting in a booth. he was wearing a hawaiian shirt and smoking a cigar. this of course was his hey day of acting. he didn't know he would become our governor later. i just had to meet him, so i simply sat down by sliding right next to him and said "hi arnold, my name's june, i just wanted to say hello and shake your hand" he was so big, and glowing with a healthy tan, he said "it's my pleasure june" since i left pam at the bar and i was already buzzed, i got up and thanked arnold for being so nice to me.

then i noticed people at another booth and sure enough there was richard dreyfus. i ran and got pam. i told her let's go play with richard! she didn't get what i meant. i had a little plan just for him. the movie "jaw's" came out not that long ago. pam and i got close to the booth, richard dreyfus is sitting on the end with his back to us. i pushed pam back a little and said "watch me". i hunched down low and started making the "doon, doon, doon, doon, doon doon! " music as the shark approaches, only it's me this time, and brought it right to his ear! richard just started laughing, and so did his people! what a silly thing to do interrupting his congregation! he didn't seem to mind at all! pam and i introduced ourselves! i asked richard what he was doing a little and would he like to go to pan's house for a night cap? he said "okay, why not". apparently he was driven by the people he had dinner with. look's like he's riding with us.

he's not a real tall man. he had on his famous wire framed glasses. he sat up in the front as pam drove. i sat in the back. i was rambling on, we all were. he was so nice and funny himself! we get to pam's big house on a hill.

i make us all stiff cocktails! we sat at pam's large dining room table. we talk about everything! then i asked pam to meet me in the kitchen for a minute. we told richard, cheese and crackers are coming. i was just preparing pam that i was going to offer richard a little cocaine. that's not a good thing to do if he's against it, we didn't know, but we're going to have some regardless. i got out the mirror and started chopping the coke to fine powder. made very neat thin lines in a row. we walk back out with mirror in hand and sat it down. i said "you may help yourself if you feel like it". i rolled up a hundred dollar bill and gave it to him. he did not hesitate! either did we. since it was late we needed a pick me up to enjoy celebrating richard's company!

we talked until dawn! we had a ball! lot's of good conversation. i could tell richard liked us ladies. pam is very cute with her little pug nose and brown hair and darling little voice. richard was a perfect gentleman. we called him a cab. off he went! we couldn't believe he actually came with us! you never know what's going to happen. (everyone did drugs way back, i hated it but you weren't hip if you didn't. 65 was all about drugs, love and peace. what else is new.)

i slept in the smaller bedroom. when i woke up i went in to check on pam. she was sound asleep, passed out on her back fully clothed with her arm's spread out. i thought i'd take a closer look to make sure she was breathing. i didn't believe what i was seeing!!! pam had a deli sandwich in her left hand. i noticed a dark line of ashes or something. no! it was a trail of black ants going across her chest to the sandwich from the right side of the bed! what a picture!

37. jack haley/dan melnick cont:

i suppose i was just another pretty girl on jack's arm. oh well that's okay, i'm still not over danny anyway.

then jack called me a few days later and invited me to dinner at "the magic castle" i accepted. he told me to meet him there, that he's bringing jill st. john (the famous actress)

i've always wanted to go inside there to see what it's all about.

i walk in and it's crowded. right away i noticed a man with face paint doing magic tricks with cards on a small table, he was well lit at the same time. drunk as a skunk but still held the small crowd. i wasn't impressed. then i noticed a huge music box. it was all alone in a room. i walked up to it and pushed a button it started playing real loud with real instruments inside! like a one man band box! i loved it! then other people came in all around me, i left.

i needed to find "the seance room" i was guided there. jack told me that's where my party will be having dinner. sure enough i found them. there was jack haley and jill st. john sitting next to each other. two other people were there. i'm introduced. jill had a puzzled look on her face (why's she here?)

i'm wondering where's the food? i didn't really care, i'd rather drink any old time.

i sit down and make small talk, and thanked jack for inviting me (even though i felt like a fifth wheel).

then a woman walks in with a scarf on her head with a crispy face. (this was like being in a fun house, my favorite thing!) the lights go out. she asks us all to join our hands together. we did. now we remain silent and then she asked jack to speak to his mother. he did. "mother, are you there?" then there is a knock on the table. everyone holds their breath. then this fortune teller woman says "if you are with us now, raise the table". indeed, the table rises! oh my! jack laughs and so do the rest of us taking his lead!

this whole thing was a joke! i was glad i went and got to meet jill st. john, she was very pretty with her high cheek bones and gorgeous neck.

jack thanked me for coming in his camel haired jacket he always wore. then he told me he's having another party next week. always small proper talk on the way to jack's as he drove.

back in jack's kitchen again.

more influential faceless friends of jack haley's came one after another as i sip my glass of wine. i didn't eat much before so i was getting buzzed. then a very well dressed man enters, he seemed familiar. i said "hello, and what's your name again?" he got a disgusted look on his face and said "daniel melnick! and i'm crushed you don't remember my name!" i'll never forget this as long as i live! " and he stomped out of the kitchen and disappeared. i wanted to die! that was not only embarrassing since just a few weeks ago i had an intimate dinner at his home with jack and didn't remember his name? how could i be so stupid! talk about a big mistake! this is taboo in the business of never forget an important person you meet in hollywood! daniel melnick! he is the king of movies in hollywood, i learned my lesson! i'll always kick myself in the butt if i ever forget another name.

38. cont: after melnick disaster

then jack walks up behind me as i'm so nervous about blowing it with daniel melnick! i was scared. jack said "come with me i want to talk to you". oh no, now i'm in trouble!

he took me in his bedroom and closed the door. he looks straight at me and took me in his arms and kissed me! he said i'm really not with liza anymore just had to thank you! i'm very attracted to you! " (jack and liza minnelli were an item for quite some time) i was relieved in one way and now a little uncomfortable in him doing this! i told him he's a sweet man and i've been having a ball being around you and your parties! he smiled and said "we'll do more!" and out of the room he went! i straightened up a bit thinking. good lord did jack haley just really kiss me? now this is out of a movie!

i went out to face the music. i made a point to find mr. melnick to ask his forgiveness. i did, he didn't! that's what i get for drinking too much and not thinking before i speak! (danny's words of wisdom).

i was glad to get back home as jack opens the door to his car. he told me "it'll be nice to see you again for the next party" he took off. there wasn't anymore parties or mr. haley again. the party's over!

i'll never forget what a wonderful gentlemen he was! i was very lucky to be in his presence!

i never saw jack again or any of his people. will you ever forgive me mr. daniel melnick?

39. jack haley jr's parties

i met jack haley jr. at hugh hefner's when he showed up with alexandra hay on his arm. she was dressed as scarlet o hara with roller skates on. she introduced me to him. i told jack that i'm here a lot and that i do help hef with the shy ones or should i say introvert's, i gave him my phone number just for kicks.

jack called me a couple of weeks later and asked me if i would mind hosting his parties. i told him i would be delighted.

jack drove all the way up the windy roads to my tree house to pick me up and escort me personally. he was so classy and handsome in his own way. he drove a large brown mercedes benz.

his father was the tin man in "the wizard of oz!" how exciting is that?

mr. haley was doing those musical documented movies "entertainment" part one and two. sold like hotcakes.

i'm dressed to the hilt. jack's house was a one story modern styled decor. we entered through the kitchen.

he gave me a few simple instructions on greeting his beautiful friends. "just make sure to introduce yourself and get all their names. offer them a drink, and tell them to make themselves at home etc.. always let them know where i can be found. if i disappear come and get me. etc..

i was left to stand in the kitchen. it was set up that way since parking was behind it.

right off the bat a karl lagerfeld type of dresser walks in. i asked his name he said "daniel melnick". i shook his hand and got him a glass of wine. i had no idea who he was. i asked him what he did, he said i'm a producer. i was impressed and left it at that. he told me that i was very beautiful. how nice he was and reeked with class! he vanished to mingle.

jack comes to check on me and then takes me into the living room to introduce me to some friends of his. he said i want you to meet so and so. he was a one arm man who was handsome and rugged looking. he was an actor on the rise. can't remember his name. but i had seen him act before. there were mostly people who weren't known. the ones who worked behind the camera or on broadway.

i went back to my post and kept an eye. i talked to everyone in the kitchen as i drank wine myself. i heard liza minnelli showed.

jack then after three hours, drove me back home. he gave me a peck on the cheek, he then invited me to dinner at daniel melnick's. i accepted.

the next night jack is back and picked me up. we got to mr. melnicks glorious home up in the really darling hills. a black woman opened the door. she said welcome, please come in. she took our coats. then before you knew it there was mr. melnick. he had on a velvet red and black dinner jacket, it was and so was he impressive. he was so happy to see jack since they were very good friends. daniel was also delighted to see me again.

we were brought to the small dining room next to the kitchen. daniel seated us. drinks were served. there was no holding back this dinner, the food was brought in by the woman who answered the door. daniel introduced us "this is florida my chef" what a treat to meet her formally. you could tell she'd been working for mr. melnick for years. and let me tell you this dinner would have blown your mind. it was exquisite. it was london broil i think, with mashed potatoes and fresh veggies. it's hard to remember.

i pretty much remained silent and just listened as jack and daniel conversed. i couldn't believe this was happening in the first place.

40. the death of my brother

i got a call from my mother saying to come to the torrance hospital, "stewart's in trouble! come right way junie" i jumped in my car and drove like a bat out of hell! i ran to his room. he's lying in bed with tubes all over him! he was unconscious and breathing real hard! i asked what was wrong? "the doctors found another clot lodged in his heart again! they cannot operate again. it's too much for his body since he had open heart surgery not that long ago! he was now suffering from blood clots flying through out his body! i freaked out! i ran to the nearest pay phone and called danny at "the troubadour" (i always knew where he was) he got on the phone, i begged for him to come over to the hospital to see stewart, he's in trouble! he didn't want to! i rubbed in, "danny, you really like stewart, what's wrong with you?" he didn't want to be subjected to any depressing situations. he wasn't big on funerals either, (who is?)

he came anyway. he shows up in brutis (the mercedes gullwing) he was real uptight, i led him up to stewart as he's fighting for his life. danny felt bad about this whole tragedy. he simply turned around and walked out! i ran after him as he was slamming all the hospital doors real loud to the exit! he said "i don't need this" what's wrong with you?" i yelled. he took off real fast! at least he came! one point for danny!

stewart died early the next morning! i couldn't believe we had to bury my brother at the age of 26. i figured since he had his tonsils taken out when he was a little boy that maybe this shocked his system later or something.

when stewart came to see me when louis and i were together he must have not felt right then i bet he knew he wouldn't live much longer. he wanted to see his only sister for the last time. it was uncanny how he found me! that's why he seemed like a ghost.

he was very special. i'll always miss him.

warren beatty to the rescue!! i called warren beatty. i was so distraught over my brother's passing, i was drinking lots of wine! warren said "i'm coming over and bringing a friend, we'll have dinner"

he shows up in a gold cadillac with a brunette sitting in it. i get in the back, warren says "june i'd like for you to meet lana wood, natalie's sister". jesus, i didn't need this! i'm too upset! don't need to be meeting new stars now!

warren had a reservation at the "aware inn restaurant" on sunset blvd. we sat in a booth. i was across from them. warren does all the talking, but when he said "doesn't lana have great pointy tits?" really june, doesn't she?" i was appalled! i'm grieving right now. i don't need to hear this! but warren kept saying this a couple more times! lana had a deadpan look on her face when he did say this. she didn't care! i guess he meant well by this hoping it would make me laugh! bottom line warren is a good friend in the end after the few encounters we had in the past. bottom line? he's a good person and not just a woman chaser as i thought. i'm proud he wanted me way back it was a compliment! mission accomplished, he made me feel better at the end of the evening. i wasn't crying anymore, i just went to sleep. warren used humor to coddle my soul that night! thanks again warren!

41. rape? !!!!!!!!!

i'll never get over living without ollie, never! one must carry on.

i'm still living with jimmy next door to danny.

i've got the red dress from the "thunderbolt and lightfoot" movie and a few other pieces of clothing. i did get me a little more than scale pay from the film. that will only last a minute.

one evening i'm relaxing in my little rascal's flannel night shirt.

there's a knock at the door. it's a black man, his name, tony mack. he was here to see jimmy. i didn't want to see anyone. it's not my house so i let him in.

jimmy comes out and greets tony and says he'll be right back. i think jimmy went to pick up drugs or something as a favor for tony, none of my business.

now i'm left to entertain tony. i offered him something to drink.

tony kept his eyes on me like i'm made out of gold! this made me nervous.

i made conversation with him even though i didn't want to (the hostess in me)

he seemed to be getting anxious!

he started to squint his eyes and was sweating. he started to breath faster! he then just jumped for me and grabbed me! he then threw me on the floor! he then took my long gown up over me! he then unzipped his pants and pulled out his penis in a fury! i thought to myself" tell him it won't work" i said "tony look, you can't even get it up to enter me so why don't you just give up!" he kept trying! hell, what do you know, this made him lose his hard on! he looked at me with these words in his eyes "damn it bitch! yeah! he backed off me. i knew that i must now pamper him saying "it's okay tony, you couldn't help it. you didn't mean me any harm. you were just attracted to me. let's just forget this ever happened. i won't tell anyone! you are a good man and i know it! have another drink. let's watch t.v. jimmy will be back soon." he agreed and calmed down. i was dying inside with nerves and fear. where is jimmy anyway!

finally jimmy walks right in. i ran into the living room from the tv room where i left tony. i told jimmy. he tried to rape me jimmy. he really tried to rape me. jimmy blew up and told him to get the fuck out of here! i was in shock and so was jimmy! he couldn't believe that tony tried to do such a thing!

i got on the phone and called floyd sneed, (the drummer of three dog night), he knew tony mack. floyd told me i'll take care of this.

i called floyd the next day. i asked floyd if he talked to tony. floyd said "yes june, and i broke his legs and put him in the hospital". jesus i didn't know floyd was really like a brother to me, but he was. floyd's a very good man and most excellent drummer thats come down the pike!

raped? i, not really, i wouldn't hear of it!

****danny is in our hansel and gretel house next door living it up at the same time. i felt twice as bad because of this.

42. drive he said cont:

"i want you to be my cheerleader" and there will be a little nudity required" i said "no i can't right now i'm trying to save my relationship with danny, we're on shaky ground" jack said you are the only one i want that's perfect for this part" "think about it". i hung up the phone, worrying more as usual. mimi (hollywood a go go dancer that looked like my sister) took me to malibu to meet her now boyfriend, jack nicholson. he was at peter fonda's house, so i got to meet both of them in one swoop! peter was tall and lanky and handsome. he left the room quickly as soon as we walked in. jack didn't. he just bored holes in my head looking at me with his cheshire green cat eyes. he seemed wicked right away and ready for about anything! i loved his infectious shit eating grin on his face. this is how i met jack. just before "easy rider". that one put peter, jack, and dennis hopper on the map!

jack kept calling me and in two weeks time i gave in. who doesn't to jack! i didn't know he just got through auditioning 100 girls for this part. they were doing back flips in his office etc.

danny went to hawaii to perform at "the forum". i was to go with him, but no, i'm on my way to eugene oregon to be on camera, my favorite thing!

when i arrived jack was there to greet me. right away he said "you're a worrier aren't ya june?" "yes jack i am" ( i know that for the first time in my life i'm gonna have to take off all my clothes on camera and have no idea in what manner. i also don't know if danny is going to behave!!!

jack invited me to watch karen black running around in a robe screaming since michael margotta is chasing her with a stocking on his head. this was a very intense scene to watch! karen is one of the best actresses that's come down the pike! she blew me away in the film " burn't offerings" i felt privileged to observe her genius! karen did ask me a question during a break, she said "june, do you think i'm pretty?" (i couldn't believe this) i told her of course you are, very pretty, and a great actress too! we were both odd ducks, i could feel that we could almost be sisters.

i had to be completely naked the next day on the set in front of jack, after all he was the director! i had to figure out how i could be more comfortable with this. i called his room in the hotel and asked him, (believe it or not) if i could please come up to your room and take my clothes off?" he said "sure, no problem. this was strictly for professional reasons!! jack did think it was a good idea. i am a live nerve ending with little feet! i just wanted to be completely relaxed on camera! this was important to me. here's what i did. i told him to sit on the bed. then i put a chair at the foot of the bed. i sat down and started to unbutton my shirt. (i'm not cheap, by using dirty, sensuous looks at the same time on my face,) hell no!! i just looked right at him dead serious and sweating and fidgeting in my seat. after 15 minutes i was completely relaxed. i'm ready to film, "goodnight jack, thank you so much" what a surprise for him huh?

43. meeting with state senator richaro polanco!!!

everyday i tell myself "something good is going to happen to me today" it works!

i decided to call all the people that called me when 1 was in jail.

i called state senator richard polanco. his secretary set an appointment for me to meet with him at 1:00 o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

as i was on the bus downtown to polanco's office i thought to myself "don't let all my disappointments that have happened to me steal the dreams in my heart!"

i wore my beautiful outfit my high school friends had bought me, i could have lunch at the white house in this outfit. i had on a below the knee small black and white checked tight skirt. i wore a crisp ironed white blouse. over that was my perfectly fitting black sport coat, very classy.

i was right on time. i sat in the waiting area. i had my notes with me. i was on pins and needles.

the door to his office opens and there he was shaking hands with whom he was having a meeting with. he was smiling and then he looked over at me and got even a bigger smile. then he said "please come in" and shook my hand with a very firm grasp just as i always do.

he got right down to business, he only has so many minutes for each person. he said "it's a pleasure to meet you, i need help". he then asked me "who have i associated with that helps work with the homeless?" i said the union rescue mission and the volunteers of america, rehabs and many aa people that run the meetings. he really looked deep into my eyes and observed with concern. was i together both physically and spiritually etc. then he asked "how strong are you?" i said "are you kidding me. after surviving "three dog night", alcoholism and drugs and a broken heart. two marriages with disappointing endings except my daughter megan of course, i'm very strong! i told him i was a taxi dancer/ hostess dancer. mr. polanco made a bad face. he didn't want to hear that.

then mr. polanco asked me "are there any talented homeless people?" i said "oh yes! in fact i think we should have creative centers that have sound proof rehearsal rooms so these gifted ones can hone their unique lyrics and melodies.

he asked me "what would you do to make this a better existence in skid row?" i answered, "first of all i see skid row as a bad accident that happened a long time ago that has never been cleaned up!" and isn't it ironic how the homeless domes are right next to the staples center. it's so unbalanced! aren't people's living/health conditions more important than a basketball game? we need to get rid of the boxes and tents. in japan they have buildings with only cubicles lined up for people to sleep! can't we build some of those at least?

the homeless ones that refuse shelters and their rules won't budge from the streets. they should have moving showers on trucks and porta potties and water at least?

polanco said "some people don't want to be in cubicles either."

i told him of the six toilets lined up without partitions at the union rescue mission. his eyes bugged out and was so sad, shaking his head back and forth looking down, i was crying now. the whole situation is disgusting! bottom line? all these homeless broken souls have a roof and get clean.

44. 1970 playboyboy mansion nightmare!!!

another party at hef's. i was dancing with about 30 bunnies in their baby doll see through jammies with g strings/butt floss and skimpy bra's. i had on short cut off jean's and a cut up lakers' t shirt which exposed one shoulder and high top tennis shoes with high heels, i always wore the opposite of the parties' dress theme. i dress my own way. believe me they didn't seem to mind at all as long as you look sexy.

hefner came over to me and said "you look really beautiful outfit you concocted as usual. listen, i want you to follow me and take a look at my hoover sex machine". i had no idea what he was talking about. i followed hef upstairs and i was nervous. he knows i'm can't stand kinky anything. he had better not disappoint me, he always protected me from all of that or those kind of people unless i said yes, then that's okay, i always declined with strange character's that would try and get me alone with them one way or another.

hef opens a door (there were so many of them) there was a horseshoe cluster of lots of people surrounding a bed i guess, it was hard to see. i had to wedge my way through to get a peek. there she is in all her glory! a playboy bunny naked with her legs spread wide open moving her hips in a certain rhythm since there was a dildo inside of her going in and out connected to a broomstick connected to the bottom half of a hoover vacuum cleaner! my mouth was wide open and the men and women liked this so much they were fondling each other watching her perform for everyone. i didn't like it at all! this disgusted me! how cheap! these girls will do anything just to get hefner's attention. maybe he will pick her to get involved with, he's never with any woman for long after barbi bentin and the blonde model he married and later divorced. he is open game. you land him and you are well provided for. his five blonde women playthings that he loved were at his beckon call. they were all set up and if one left she'd get a house, car oh, you name it. hefner is such a wonderful gentlemen. he really appreciated his chosen women and made sure they were happy and protected. i watched these women come and go and new ones perform for him for years.

warren beatty was making out with a gorgeous woman sitting on his lap in the corner of the room as all these people watched the show. i guess he just got too hot watching and just grabbed any single girl and just gobbled them up and fondled them and didn't miss a crack or crevasse! this made me laugh and very happy since i always have loved warren. he's a very good man and a caring one as well.

i grew tired of all the glitz and glamour parties at hef's mansion. four years of this stuff becomes too much of this high life. bunnies were coming out of my ears so i hopped out of there forever. i love mr. hugh hefner very much. i still will always remember him telling me "june, if it weren't for barbi, i'd be with you instead". he meant one on one. how sweet! he would make the ajax lady baboon noise back at me every time he'd open the door knowing that i just drove in. he's got a great sense of humor!

45. questions and answers after head showing

peter and davy and bobby hart were called up from the audience. they haven't seen each other in years. i could tell they loved being together again even though mike nesmith wasn't there and mickey dolenz was in new york working, (he told this to the audience on the big screen to everyone).

they were experts at improvisation. davey did a take off of dudley moore in the movie "arthur" and acted drunk perfectly and so funny doing so. no he wasn't drinking, he's a complete professional. peter & davey bounced off one another magnificently. davey mentioned he was currently working at disney land in florida. he's a great dancer and singer as well. these guys were all one of a kind, very special indeed.

bobby hart paid tribute to tommy boyce, (writing team for the "monkeys" music). sorry to say that tommy took his on life by a gun, no known reason. tommy boyce and i were very close, i was devastated by this. we always had so much fun together. there's a great picture of tommy and myself out on bobby's patio. i'm wearing a pink and white pin striped shirt dress. tommy is wearing a turtle neck pullover. you can view this photo on google, www.gazzarridancers.com, it comes up saying "the hollywood a go-go dancers", click over to the red to the right and tap june fairchild and as you look through some of my 19/20 year old photo's, you'll keep going down until you see how cute tommy boyce was. you can feel how happy we were. bobby was to our left but barely there in photo.

i was still sitting in the audience as peter and davey carried on. i knew i was going to be called soon to join in and sit with them and answer questions too. i had to go the restroom and that was it! i got up and ran like lightning. i got back and as soon as i opened the door i heard davey say "oh yes the belly dancers" i yelled real loud way up top of the carpeted hill "i was one of the belly dancers!! " and davey said "come on down june fairchild" just like bob barker on his show. i waved to everyone and they immediately handed me a microphone. i simply told the audience how much fun it was to work with these outrageously funny and brilliant performers. they were just loaded with energy. we had to be, it's showtime!!

i also told how the top part of my belly dancers bra was a 36 dd or bigger! no way could i feel that! so i put two pairs of my own panties to fill this huge thing out!!!

i was also "the jumper". i was on top of a building in a polka dotted bikini bathing suit and i was screaming "i'm gonna do it! i'm gonna do it!! as the monkeys observed me from below. then they cut to me in mike nesmith arms and he passes me to peter tork's arms and he carries me off as i have a surprised look on my face.

i was also in the colorful psychedelic dance party with a blow up of my face.

i was on one of their t.v. series feeding a dummy chips. i had to let the audience know that i was also known now as "the ajax lady" in cheech and chong's film "up in smoke" (i've done other films as you can find out more by reading my full scale life story "catch a falling star" or "the ajax lady before and after" (she went up in smoke) title isn't for sure yet.

before we knew it, it was 1:00am. my hand hurt from signing autographs. bobby and his lady gave me the 8x10 photo of tommy boyce and me. i cried and kissed peter, bobby and davey and split with mark hewitt, manager of the nuart theater in santa monica.

46. bobby bloom's death!!

since i went to the rainbow all the time i met a waitress there. her name was linda karakain. she was a thin armenian girl with long wavy hair. we became friends. since i was jumping around after the fire living here and there, i would stay over at her house anytime i felt like it. thank goodness.

i introduced her to bobby bloom. i must admit i have a knack for match making. i just had a feeling they would like each other. bobby fell head over heels for her! linda really fell in love with him! they were both so thankful to me for bringing them together! i was happy about it too! the only thing is that i could no longer see either one of them. they were behind closed doors for months! i knew linda would straighten bobby up from being self destructive!

i was being busy keeping myself together. time went by. hadn't talked to linda for a while. she wasn't answering her phone and either was bobby. that's it. time to investigate! it's been too long without communication!

i drove over to linda's house in the flats off of sunset.

i knocked on the door, no answer. i knocked again real hard! i hear linda's little feet! she opens the door. she looks like death warmed over! i said "what's wrong?" she said "bobby's dead!" i said " how did this happen?" she said "he was at the foot of my bed, acting a little crazy, you know how he get's june. he had his shotgun in his hand and it went off and he shot himself with it and fell to the floor and that was it! " i asked was it suicidal? she said i don't think so. it was pretty much an accident. he was jumping around with it and yelling and going off on me etc. he was too high and got sloppy with the handling of the shotgun. then she said "i can't talk anymore" and closed the door.

i was in shock! i drove right up to bobby's house in the canyon. his big silly car was parked out front. i ran up his stairs and rang the bell and knocked!! the house was dead silent! this was way too much!

i called tony bruno's house. i do believe he gave me bobby's parents number. i called. tony told me yes he's dead! he was too sad to talk.

i missed bobby and knew we wouldn't hear him sing anymore! what a great loss of his talent! he was a good man. just got too carried away with drugs off and on!

i remember bobby told me "june if anything ever happens to me, i want you to have my conga drums since you love them so!"

i finally called his parents a couple weeks later. gave my condolences. i let them know how we were very good friends and that i loved him a lot!

i also mentioned of his wishes for me to have his drum set if something happened to him. they said "absolutely not, they are staying with his family, they belong to us" and she hung up!

whenever you hear the oldie but goodie song "montego bay" that's our bobby with the golden voice!

47. photos

i have tons of photos to be added to this book. it'll be close to a time capsule. they will be added when accepted by a publishing company.


48. the father of the telegraph - samuel f.b. morse morse code

i remember my mother told me that i come from very good genes. i was too young to pay much attention about this. on the 27th of april 1791, samuel f.b. morse was born. in his early years he contracted measles and scarlet fever. these diseases reportedly produced convulsions that damaged his brain and among other impairments, left him partly deaf.

he was a struggling artist whom existed through much of his life on borrowed monies from friends and relatives.

in 1832 on a homebound journey returning to america samuel morse overheard a shipboard discussion on electro magnetic. this was the seed out of which the electric telegraph grew. hence, the morse code went into action from ship to shore and was a complete success, it is still used to this day.

samuel morse was so poor that when he needed miles of wire for his new method to transmit the morse code under and over oceans and rivers. he actually made his own custom made wiring by hand! he would fill miles of wire with cotton inside and then use thread to seal it with his own bare hands!! by himself! talk about perseverance!!

most important, he was the inventor of the electromagnetic telegraph which earned him the name "lighting man/father of the telegraph". this not only brought him fame he sought, was wealthy at 56 years old! for the first time he finally had a home of his own. his estate sprawled over 100 acres. he called it locust grove. it's in poughkeepsie new york within sight of the hudson river.

he was not a scientist or a mechanic and not a very good businessman. he relied on the skills of others.

mr. morse was hard headed and his single mindedness lead him to pursue his dreams of the telegraph.

he was a gifted prolific painter and pioneer photographer. he gave the first lectures on art in america. he became the first professor of fine arts at yale university in new york.

his paintings are in the best museums and many are privately owned.

in tribute to samuel finley breeze morse, there is a statue of him in central park n.y,

i'm so proud that he is my great great great grandfather!

49. [image] samuel morse

[image] samuel morse

50. [image] samuel morse

[image] samuel morse statue

51. [image] morse code

[image] morse code

52. the father of the telegraph - samuel f.b. morse continued

samuel had a son. atwood morse worked and was involved in the railroad system.

then atwood had a son, mark morse. mark morse was musically inclined. he played the trombone in the john philips souza band! he invented the wig wag, the ding ding ding for the railroad. he also created the sound waves for the radio but never got credit for it. he was extremely handsome & had a mustache.

he was a binge drinker three months out of the year. he'd take a much needed break from his beautiful inventive mind & drink gin three months in a row every year!

mark married a very petite woman. her name was irva. she had little feet and hands and wore bustles & gloves.

in 1923 they had a daughter, they named her june, june irva morse. she had brown hair and hazel eyes. when she was 12 years old, her mother irva died of pneumonia. mark morse's death not clear. he left behind two daughters and two sons.

june irva fell in love with a most excellent piano bar musician she'd met by filling in for her sister gwenie whom sang with him. his name was gerald p. wilson. june morse became june wilson. gave birth to two sons.

on sept. 3rd. 1946 at 3:45 pm she gave birth to a baby girl whom she named after herself, june wilson. that's me! i'm french, irish, scottish, and english. a heinz 57. this took place at the hollywood presbyterian hospital in california. i do remember breathing blackness before i was born. i was spanked with a smile! i sucked my right big toe rather then my thumb. somehow i knew how to do this to get attention.

my father, gerald wilson was a very well known piano player. in the 40's he played on hollywood blvd. it was really happening back then! my dad's idol was fat's waller. he had black white soul. he knew at least 500 songs, all the standards. at the same time there was the famous black pianist gerald wilson interesting isn't it? my father's closest friend was bob hope's brother jack.

he looked like a cross between orson wells. bob hope too! he taught himself how to play the piano and had his own style. he started at 17 years old and played until he was 81 years old.

53. vampira!!!!

her real name is maila nurmi.

i remember myself waiting on pins and needles knowing for the mistress of the night! she was the hostess for the scary movies on tv. this was in the 50's. i was her biggest fan! i wanted to be like her. she was so beautiful and mysterious. she would appear out of clouds of smoke at the end of a long walkway. there she was. all in black. her dress was skin tight. her waist was 18 inches. she was very well endowed. her face was all white. her eyebrows were very black and highly drawn up to high peeks. her lips seemed to be black and perfectly shaped. she had a very serious sexy look all the time. her fingernails were also black and extremely long.

then she would sit herself down on an old small antique couch. then she'd raise her beautiful left leg up so her super long dress became a mini skirt. you could see her black seamed nylons that seemed to reach her perfectly shaped ass and nice wide hips! wow! then she would caress her human skull and pet it's head as she'd say " how nice to have you with me this evening, i'm vampira, your mistress for the night" then she'd say "we have a real good frightening movie for you tonight" then she would scream as if she saw someone's head cut off. it was blood curdling! i would jump every time she would scream. then some b movie would start. i didn't give a heck about the movie, i just couldn't wait to see her back as she would speak at certain intervals of the movie.

vampira was such a potent character. i could never take my eyes off of her.

when the movie was finished she would then get up and walk slowly back down the smoke filled hallway. she was very tall and those hips and long black hair and perfect shoulders and walk so unique. she walked in small steps similar to marilyn monroe at robert kennedy's occasion when she was late and scurried to the podium and sang "happy birthday mr. president". vampira's dress was even tighter!

her show was every friday night. i only wished i could be so grown up and strong and mesmerizing as vampira. i must add, my mother june wilson was my queen and i was always in awe of her. i was so lucky to be her daughter and get to watch every move she made. i wanted to be her first, i could never fill her shoes.

so on halloween i would be vampira! i would get all dressed up and did her makeup and wore a black wig and red lipstick etc.. remember of course tv then was only black and white. maybe vampira wore red lipstick too. she was strictly a black and white person. she was smokin hot!!!!

when i was at the sogo hotel my brother jerry told me he met vampira a few months ago. we are friends". i flipped out! he wasn't lying. he said "oh sure, believe it or not i met with her regularly at the donut shop close to where i live". i was speechless! i asked jerry do you think she would mind meeting me?" he said "no problem".

i get to meet her tomorrow. i could only think of her. i got off the red line and ran to the donut shop. i walked in and there she was sitting right next to my brother as they were laughing together. i sat down opposite of her. she said "your brother has told me so much about you, what a pleasure to meet his sister finally". we shook hands. i just went on and on to praise her and to let her know how she affected me growing up. i told her i've always idolized her. i told her elvira couldn't hold a candle to her. her face got all twisted. "don't mention that woman's name to me again".

54. vampira cont.

she took my image that i created and ran with it. i took her to court and she won! i was furious. she was very pissed off about this. i quickly changed the subject by siding with her 100% and asked her more what she's up to these days being a living legend? she said "still living of course" and she laughed so hard and cute.

mailia ("vampira") was now in her late 70's. her eyes were a piercing turquoise blue. she was sharp as a tack. she was very inquisitive. her hair was pulled back tightly with a bun in the back. not much makeup, just a little lipstick. this was a very proud and upstanding woman. i could also see she really liked my handsome brother. he made her laugh all the time and me to as usual.

every now and then if i'm in the mood i set up my pictures and products and go to the beverly wineline hotel on vineline in studio city. my brother told me vampira goes every now and then also. jerry said "well ladies,how about me driving both of you to sign autographs together" maila said "why not" i thought i was gonna die i was so excited. heck, i'd give anything just to have vampira's autograph!

my brother had a volkswagen at this time. maila sat up front i'm in the back. this was right out of a movie! we should be in a cab or limo, but since we all didn't give a hoot, it's too much fun to play it down and we were laughing all the way! my brother pulls up in front of the hotel to let us out as he parked. vampira and i walked in together. she was dressed to the hilt. i darkened my hair to dark brown and wore an off the shoulder blouse with black pants and high heels. maila had on a black velvet cape with a long silk beautiful skirt. full make up, both of us. i made sure to tell them to please sit us side by side. they put our placks in front of us. we were all lit up. stars all over the many lined up tables. as maila and i were placing our pictures and her skulls etc. , i figured this would be just as good a time as any to ask maila to please tell me of a couple of stars she met when she was doing her show. she said "well james dean was always at my apartment running around in his boxer shorts". my mouth was hanging open. "oh yes, he always came over, stayed the night whatever."

then maila said "marlon brando gave me the clap!" really? "that's right" she said. we were roaring.!!

the lines are on their way for autographs so we had to straighten up yapping like two devious children.

here i am only "the ajax lady" sitting next to a real star!! i got ten bucks per 8x10. vampira had different levels of prices. she had a few original photos $135.00 up etc. then she had a lot out of paper backing scanned ones. she signed one to me! this made me happy. then after two hours she was ready to go. my brother was around talking to all the female actresses of course. we flagged him down. "are you girls ready to go?". in unison we said "we sure are", so jerry helped us pack up the leftovers etc..

i called vampira at least once a week, we would talk for l and a half hours at a pop. she knew everybody and everybody knew her. then vampira said "is your mother still with us?' i she's still in my heart. then maila said "you know, i've always wanted to have a daughter, would you mind to allow me to be your earth mother?.'. ' i said" really? do you mean it?" she said oh yes,

55. vampira (my earth mother)

i told her "i would love this, i'm overwhelmed." i started crying. what a beautiful thing for her to ask. she thanked me. she said, "of course i'm not trying to replace your beautiful mother". but i'll stay close to you here on earth to give what advice you might need." i felt like i could fly, my heart was! please pinch me! is this really the vampira woman i idolized on tv, now asking if she could be my earth mother!!! this was a very rare spiritual moment! i've never been lifted off the ground mentally as she just did. when we hung up i was in a daze for a long time. i wanted to run to the top of a mountain and scream out "vampira is my earth mother!!"

maila was in edward d, wood jr. 1959 film "plan 9 from outer space".

on january 10th vampira was found dead in her hollywood home. she was believed to be 85 this is not for sure since there were conf1icting sources.

i was going to call her in a couple of days before she died. this hit me hard! why didn't i call her sooner?

she will always remain in my heart next to my mothers.

why can't they put her back on tv introducing the campy scary movies etc. then we can watch her play with her pet tarantulas, and give out her gruesome recipes for vampire cocktails! all her gothic fans are heartbroken over their glamo ghoul death and not being able to give her parties with live gothic bands dancing on top of hotels on halloween.

she certainly let me know how much it meant to her to have all these wonderful fans. vampira would sit on top of back seat in a pink convertible cadillac with the real long fins waving to everyone with all the love in her heart. i remember i was sick on halloween and couldn't go. i was so sad that i couldn't at least make it for vampira's night!! "the queen of halloween". i tried to get us in at mr. hugh hefner's, my ex boss (dancer on his show, you know the story) i sent pictures and a letter to make it real clear to hef since he had just gotten over his stroke. i kept calling. maila said this would be a grand occasion. we'll pull out all the stops for mr. hefner. she handed me an autographed photo to hold onto until we go.

we were turned down. some young guy on the phone didn't get it. i would be bringing the "queen of halloween. he said "we are simply booked up." that's why i mailed a special package. i called again and still we were rejected. boy, that was a huge mistake. it broke my heart to have to tell maila this. she was really looking forward to visiting the mansion of mr. hefner's and surprising everyone. i would have just been her escort.

ajax lady june fairchild brings the one and only mistress of the night to her grand ball vampira! it didn't happen at all. she was silent.

maila said "don't worry about it". i have other things planned for this halloween, i have a large following, we will have a ball, you wait and see!"

so all her fans and the news stations covered her just fine with her parade of people and long lines of cars behind her. she couldn't of had more fun as she did that night, and was sorry i missed it. she filled me in on all the details, i felt as if i was there any way since she was so articulate and never forgets one little detail. i loved her dearly all my life, and still do!

57. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

58. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

59. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

60. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

61. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

62. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

63. [image] june's notes

[image] june's notes

64. where we lived..

as far back as i can remember, we lived in a big old two story house on selma ave. one block south of hollywood blvd., close to highland.

my mom told me that there was gum all over the carpeted stairway. she said we had cockroaches and rats! this repulsed her. she was a meticulous housekeeper. she was a very beautiful, classy woman. she never cussed, either did my father. she was well endowed, her skin was flawless, lovely thick brown hair. she wore the up 40's hairdos. she was a hot tomato! sang her own style of torch singing, feeling every word.

she drank vodka presbyterian highballs & ordered them just like that, (in a tall glass with ginger ale & vodka). my dad a.k.a. jerry wilson drank vodka tonics.

i remember i would always take off my diapers and throw them over the next door neighbor's fence on a regular basis. when i'd peek through the crack of the fence i would smile when i'd see this small mountain of them. i was four years old.

my mother told me that prostitutes use to babysit me. i didn't know what to think. i suppose they were very sweet.

we had after hour parties all the time because of special musically inclined parents. this piano bar occupation of my parents meant that i grew up on shirley temples. everyone under the sun came to our late night parties. my father was a very popular, caring man. he would let people stay with us from time to time. the singer jerry wallace, whom sang the hit song "primrose lane" slept on our couch to regroup and my parents gave him hotdogs!

the roosevelt hotel and the nest were really hot back then where my dad performed with mom. one night i remember vividly walking out of the house and straight up to the corner of hollywood blvd. and highland and proceeded to direct the traffic! (always looking for attention). it was dark out.

the police pulled over and asked me" what's ya doin sweetie? i said "i'm just directing all the traffic!" they said "okay, honey that's fine, but we think we had better take you home now". "okay" i said, and i showed them right where i lived.

the front door was wide open and my mom was setting the table and she said "good, just in time for dinner". she didn't bat an eye over this. i guess she didn't want to scare me by getting mad. she never got mad at me ever. obviously she called the cops herself.

i was told that all our furniture was repossessed but they were kind enough to leave my crib so i wouldn't have to sleep on the floor.

my dad and jack hope would go to paramount studio and crash the set any old time they felt like it to have fun harassing bob. too bad i didn't get to meet bob then as i did later.

65. where we lived.. (continued)

we moved from hollywood when i was four. manhattan beach became my new stomping ground. somewhere off of rosecrans not too far from pacific coast hwy. our new house was upstairs over a large garage i guess.

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the only incident i remember clear as a bell was me just having to go to the market to get some kool-aid. i was only four and a half years old now, it was quite a distance, i'm all by myself. as i walked along a dirt sidewalk i was observing how big this empty field was. then i noticed an old shack.

there was a man waving at me. he wasn't very close. i could see he was smiling though. he yelled out to me "hey, little girl! come over here! i have something to show you!" he was standing in front of this little tiny broken down house. he wouldn't let me be!

i said "what do you want?!" he said "i have a real big surprise inside of here" as he pointed to the doorway of this shack. he repeated this over and over again and said that i would really like it!

curiosity made me start walking towards him. it took me a while since the long old dried up weeds were thick. i finally got up to him. he smiled at me and seemed pretty nice to me. we walked and passed one dirty empty room to the other backroom, an old dirty broken up piano was the only piece of furniture in the room.

as i was looking at the wooden floor and him he told me "go and sit in the corner over there on the floor" so i did. i was scared with a big smile he stood in the middle of the room, pulled down his pants and underwear and turned around in circles real slow and said "see, see, see," real slow.

i was frozen! i didn't know what to do! i didn't know what he was gonna to do next! then he turned his back to me with his pants around his ankles and walked to the opposite corner turned back around and sat down with his big you know what sticking straight up in the air! (i had never seen an adult's private thing before). he then said "come over here" (he wanted me to observe it up close i guess!)

i got up and started walking slowly towards him, i just knew he wanted me to do something with his big thing, but a smart instinct of mine acted quickly!

i figured if he has a knife in his back pocket he would stab me!! so i ran out as fast as i could and didn't stop running! i couldn't believe he wasn't running after me! i figured sitting on the floor, pants down saved me from him rapping or killing me!

was i lucky or what?! i never told my mother. i have never forgotten this encounter either! it was my own fault wondering off. forget the kool-aid!

when i got home my parents were still very busy entertaining their friends and making music. i then went to my room in a panicked, removed, guilty feeling all alone with this horrible living nightmare that i barely got out of.

that's all i remember at this location.

65. where we lived.. (continued)

then we moved to a hermosa beach trailor park. i became five years old. i had my two older brother's to harass me here and there. i really looked up to them.

my brother jerry wilson jr. was 6 years older then me. he was extremely handsome! everybody was attracted to him, even me. he loved frank sinatra and loved singing like him. my father taught him how to play the piano. he had dark thick wavy hair and wore it like elvis presley minus the too big of sideburns. he had grey blue eyes. (so did i) same as maryln monroe's. looked a little like tony curtis only a little handsomer. perfect nose and a nice long top lip and full lips as well. need i say more?

my other brother stewart wilson was good looking in another way. green eyes and light brown hair his nose a little more pointy, and a little shorter than jerry's. my mom said that jerry and i were twins in the looks department.

my dad had a small simca car. in the back was a cubby hole. i always rode in that. it was fun back there. a perfect nitch for my size. jerry was always somewhere else. so stewart and i were always together. we had a medium sized trailer. i barely remember.

but i do remember going across the street on easter with my mary jane white patent leather. i was curious how these kids i'd never seen before were like. i said "hello, i live across the street.

my name is june, what's yours?" they looked at each other and smiled and then pointed at a collie dog and said "quick! run! he has rabies!"

terrified i ran into the street and was hit by a car and fell under the front of it. my right leg was straight out on the ground and my left one was doubled under me. the left front tire ran over my right leg three times! how? i'll explain.

he was an old man who couldn't stop quick enough. when he did stop he already ran over my leg and then he opened his car door to see what was going on and then immediately put the car in gear to backup and proceeded to run over it again! then he panicked making this mistake and put the car back in first gear and ran over my poor little leg again! then he simply continued to drive off like a bat out of hell! i looked down at my leg and the bone was sticking out of my ankle area on top through my new socks.

i had a compound fracture! i was in shock and screaming and crying and yelling! it felt like a million bees in one spot stinging me!

then i noticed my brother stewart had just came out and sat down on the curb looking at me and he thought i was trying to fool him or something! i really had to cry even harder to make him see it was no joke! he did get it and off we all went to the hospital!

they had to set the bone and that is what really hurt! i was in a cast all the way up to the middle of my thigh for the entire summer! i used an opened up wire coat hanger to itch my leg as it was healing.

only other mishap i remember was walking through an old junk yard, (alone) and tripped and fell and hit my head on an old sharp part and all this blood was running down my face! i could have died already with my dangerous encounter's i've had up to now! guess it wasn't time for me yet! this is all i remember at this location.

67. family

my grandma and grandpa, edna and park wilson were always in the picture at this point. they were my father's parents. i was very close to them. loved them dearly. my middle name is edna, after my cute grandma.

what a kick in the pants they were. they lived at the willow trailer park in long beach. my grandma was so sensitive and sweet and naive. my brother stewart and i stayed with them every summer and whenever necessary for parental breaks. my grandma loved watching the wrestling matches on tv as i sat on the floor in front in front of her as she sat in her favorite stuffed chair. she really believed that these wrestling matches were real and they were really in a lot of pain etc. she would yell 'gettum! gettum! " she almost cried when they pretended to hit each other (of course i didn't know any different either, i'd laugh anyway). this was the time of gorgeous george the famous blond haired wrestler back then. i'd play with a collection of knickknacks on shelves next to the tv at the same time.

this was a one bedroom cream colored trailer. i would sleep with grandma. stewart and grandpa would sleep on the couch that pulled out to a bed in the small living room. we would have bed time talk and heavy laughing with silly stories. she told me that one time her next door neighbor used her toilet and left a great big long log in there without flushing it and that it was yeay long! boy, would she flair her nostrils real hard when she laughed! i kicked her out of bed once when i had a dream that made me do so. she'd say "i'm going to red up the bed when ready to make it. real ohioan slang type talk.

she cooked old fashion. breakfast was not small. bacon fried in lots of bacon grease, left over mashed potato patties fried crispy on both sides, toast buttered, jam on the table. rice krispies with bananas, bacon around the bowl too. orange juice , milk, and coffee. dinner for example, pork chops with white thick gravy, mashed potatoes, green beans and applesauce. her homemade potato salad, homemade vegetable soup, and pumpkin pie was too good to describe. backed beans and sandwiches and potato chips would go with us to the only piece of land my grandma and grandpa owned. their grave at the "sunny side cemetery" we would picnic right on top of the grass and admire their flat tomb stone simply engraved. there was a building not far that had crypts in it. grandpa parks would tell stewart to go around the other side and look inside open window. we did and then all of a sudden we'd here "let me out of here i've been in here for forty years!!! " real loud, and then we would run! it was so exciting and fun! when you're that young what isn't.

i never really wanted to leave my mom and dad for these grandparent vacations but i learned to get into them and had the time of my life with my brother stewart. my grandpa was a little crotchety and then completely nuts and had a great sense of humor.

68. childhood

he wore taps on his shoes and always wore his fifty's hat, it was around 1955 at this tine. baggy slacks, checkered shirts and a grandpa sweater. he would take stewart and me to newberry's on long beach blvd. to have some kind of lunch. i was real excited because i knew what our next stop would be as usual, "the long beach pike".

holy moly! i was so in love with the pike! i couldn't sit still just thinking about it! the pike is very much part of my roots. he was a little tight with his money. the rides were a quarter, he gave us enough for two rides. he pretty much cut us loose and we had the pike all day long to ourselves. we were free as little birds! we rode more than two rides. the x cons who ran the rides let us ride for free! i remember i wanted to ride the "tilt-a-whirl" and boy did i ever! this mean looking criminal was a tad sadistic! he made me suffer. my brother was watching as usual i was on way too long. i was begging him to stop! stop! stop! and he wouldn't! i threw up! crying and puzzled stewart and i went on looking for something else better than me being abused by a total stranger in this manner.

we saw a trailer parked all by itself with a sign saying "honest john, the man of stone", pay by donation to go and visit this man. i gave a nickel, didn't have much to give. stewart and i entered this mysterious trailer. there was a strange man laid out on a narrow table like a bed with royal blue satin shorts with white stripes on the sides. his head was propped up high on a white satin pillow. he had brown slapped down straight greasy short hair. he was stiff as a board, couldn't move and looking straight ahead. with his little satin blue jacket on, rolled his eyes over to look at me. i was scared. he said "hi, what's your name little girl?" i said "junie". he said "well, how are you doing junie?" i said fine. then i said "what's wrong with you?" honest john said "well, i have a disease that hardens my body like a rock, and when it reaches my heart i'm gonna die! i felt sorry for him. i asked "well how long will that take?" he said "good question, can't pin point that one. in due time. " i said "aren't ya scared?" "nooo i'm fine" he then said "why don't you take the pillow out from under my head?" so i did and his head was still up in the air by itself! this was so crazily scary to me i said "well it's been real nice meeting you. my brother and i will come and visit you from now on every time we come back to the pike! i noticed his legs were real skinny and shiny and had no hair on them at all! we always did visit him off and on until his trailer was gone. that was the end of honest john.

never a dull moment at the pike! grandpa would appear from a distance waving to let us know he kept on eye on us from a distance.

stewart and i would always go to "the side show". i liked looking at the bearded woman. she was fat and real hairy with a thick pretty long beard. this made me laugh and be afraid at the same time. why? because it was real hair! help!

69. childhood continued..

then there was the skinniest man in the world! he needed to eat big time! the smallest woman ever was indeed that. could have been tom thumb's wife! the snake woman was real weird! something was phony one way or another! i couldn't put my finger on it. oh well! she looked cheap with lots of makeup on and her hair looked like straw! the baby in a bottle got to me! it had hair on its back, yuk! this was not too good to see but we kept looking at it in wonderment!

this was a typical "freak show" i guess! then stewart was chewing at the bit to go on "the cyclone". the most happening roller coaster going! stewart said "come on let's go on it?" i said "no way in hell's kitchen am i going on that big old thing! " "suit yourself" he said. so i watched him go all alone. (he always did) when he came off he had a green hew on his face! looked sick as a dog with a meek smile on his face.

i loved the walk through fun house! it had a wooden black man tapping on a wooden floor at the entry way. you'd start out walking through a maze of mirrors and bump into yourself a lot and other people too. it was tricky but fun in a baffling way.

then you would be walking down thin black hallways with sharp turns and cold air blowing on you off and on. spider webs rubbing on top of your head in the dark. ugly black light faces popping out of nowhere screaming at you! the floor would vibrate under your feet all of a sudden. then you'd hear a loud fire engine horn and the floor became a moving runner under your feet and you had to run along with it or fall down! then you come to a large room. it had many different distorted mirrors. they stretched you out wide with a flattened head and then you are made skinny like a fat tall pencil with elongated mercury eyes.

crazy black light pictures on the walls, and moving things from the ceiling swooping over you and at the sane! crazy laughing woman and a screaming one too. heard sounds of someone or something being strangled i guess! every time you left this funhouse you were laughing. can't even think how many times we were in this thing since we were always at the pike. knew it like the back of my hand.

i sure liked looking at all the sailors in their white suits walking around smelling of old spice! they all looked handsome to me. i'd say "hi" just to see them smile back at me! this was so exciting to me. i had a crush on all of them. they were all my heroes. like i said there was never a dull moment at the pike!

stewart and i would always meet up with grandpa wearing his neat cool gangster type hat. he was a real crusty man. should i say crispy on the outer edges?!

then we would go swimming in the public indoor pool, it was called "the plunge" it was huge. everyone seemed handsome, hip, and happy. the sailors were in there too!! so was grandpa! watched us like a hawk!

my grandpa use to work in the ship yard. my dad played piano in the shipyards for all the sailors too! my dad was on a pedestal in my eyes.

70. childhood continued..

i loved the penny arcade pinball machines & all. just outside there were a couple of windows with picturesque scenes such as an island with little huts and trees a crashed airplane and a few real little plastic people showing them living in their own slice of life. my grandpa would bring the man who crashed in the plane back to life and had the people rescue him. he got food and water and plenty of care. he would act these parts out loud with feeling! i believed it! i dove into that little miniature scene with him. he made everything exciting and animated, including myself! i was like a cartoon myself! grandpa was always acting funny when he wasn't grumpy. he loved improvising! he loved singing the old standard song "margie" real loud like vaudeville and make us laugh real hard.

i wish they never tore down the pike! it meant too much to me!

i wish they never built up "knotts berry farm". grandma always went there with us so she could have dinner at the chicken house. this is the other stomping ground that meant a lot to stewart and me growing up. we knew every nook and cranny! we panned for fools gold from a real old stream that still remains there. you'd get little glass vile with a few small specks of gold! wowie zowie! wasn't my favorite thing to do, but i did it anyway. been going there since i was four years on up.

stewart and i sat and talked to the mannequin painted up saloon women sitting on a park bench. they were cemented on it. heck i'd talk to them every time i'd sit on their laps. i jumped every time they'd talk back to me. yes! we had full conversations with them. in the beginning i was so young i believed this was a real woman. kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye every time i i had to get off her lap.

then there was the walkthrough the lopsided haunted house. it was small but had mishaps in it. there was a faucet where the water ran up not down. i couldn't figure that out. i just knew someone must have fiddled with it and turned it around. then i thought maybe it is really haunted!! boooo!! croocked steep floors and marbles would roll up the hilly floor not down! for heavens sakes!

i liked riding the ponies in a circle. i was a toe head at this point. my hair was white blond in a short dutch boy haircut. the indians were always watching us at the ponies. we took pictures with them too.

then we rode on the hard wooden seated stagecoach! it was too slow and bumpy for me but 1 did it anyway. "old sad joe" was my favorite thing to do. he was a stinky looking man with long underware on and he looked like he been drinking a lot like my uncle kenny. so old sad joe kept staring at me and i thought try to make him speak to me to cheer him up. since he was in a real small outside jail cell i had to hold onto the bars and put my head through them to talk. i said "how are you doing joe? you do look a little sad. are you okay?" "sure! " he said, "whats your name little girl? "junie wilson" that's a pretty name, "i like your pretty blue blouse you have on". "wow" i said to myself." his eyes actually work too. he's a magic man stuck on an old stinky cot in jail. he was a stuffed old pretend crusty cowboy inmate. i looked around and behind me was a two story building with an open window, there was a hand holding a microphone and he was talking for old fart joe! it burst my bubble the 1st. time. i still always talked to him anyway all the time after that!

71. childhood continued..

back to "the willow trailer park". every time we would get in grandpa's light green 1950 plymouth, he would do a whole number before he would start the car. he would have to start the clock on the dash since it would always stop. he would do a percussion rhythm such as this; he'd slap his hand hard & loud over the clock six times, then stomp his foot once on the floor loudly then hit the dash once again then hit the dash once again and stomp one more time and hit the dash twice again! this would get the clock ticking! believe it or not it had a funky cadence to it. i loved the feel of it! it was exciting! i called it grandpa's beat! i do it to this day.

we were all sitting in the trailer before taking our nightly showers in the community showers down the road a piece. i don't know what came upon me being so young and all, guess i was bored. for some reason i was curious (just for kicks) what the couch smelled like under grandma, so when she got up to get something i took a quick whiff where she sat for years! good lord! i wish i hadn't! it smelled like an old buzzard's crouch, old and a sour musty! how would i know that? i don't but it seems to help the imagination! kids do the darndest things don't they! stewart watched the whole thing and we laughed so hard, then grandpa came in and said"pipe down!! " then he said "watch it girly!" maybe he saw me. he was very protective of my grandma.

when he got mad he would say these things. or, he'd say "i ainta gonna do it! " (with a silent t) if he was against something or just plain stubborn. i saw my grandma have a shot of whisky at night. how cute! handkerchiefs and chiclet gum in the yellow box. grandma took me to get a permanent. there was about 50 electrical cords attached to my hair & tinfoil. it was way too hot, painfull scalp burning with the smell of burnt hair! real scary experience! when we left the beauty salon i resembled a french poodle. you couldn't get any tighter than that! i could barely get the comb through it. it looked like a brlllo pad of thick pubic hair! i didn't like it. i looked just like my grangma's hair did. actually, i looked like her when she was young & still do as i get older! she had a hankerin for this and that when she wanted to do something, she always say that.

my grandpa would always read "little lu lu" comic books to me out load, every night! i was very lucky to have such precious people such as they were. marian ohio, that's were my father was born. he had a great disposition. nothing would bother him, just like water running off a ducks back. mom told me that.

it's not hard for me to talk so much about my dad's parents. i was closer to them only because they didn't have to work. they didn't drink or smoke. at the same time i was in love with my parents. they were so creative and expressive, classy to boot. never reprimanded me. never yelled. very docile, cool and collected. cream of the crop, top of the line. when i was 17 i knew one day i would make my parents known by writing my life story. they were that beautiful to me. here i am doing it now. how exciting to be me because of them. my mother always told me "you're so special, you really are" over and over again as long as she lived. she also told me "junie not only are you beautiful on the outside you are beautiful on the inside and you don't even know it! and that makes you even more special"

72. childhood continued..

we moved over to 1913 clark lane, redondo beach. seven or eight years old i was. we were a very handsome family. went to adams elementary school. this is when the ho-daddys were the tough ones. they ruled. sort of sophisticated gang members.

the guys had jelly roll hair styles and wore khaki pants. the girls wore their hair in pin curls up front with a scarf tied around the back. men's white dress shirts thin enough so that your bra strap would show through the back, (a teaser). white leather rounded toed shoes called cadillac shoes or bunny ears. had two little ears on the top of your back heel, these were hip and not that cheap. i dressed like them to look the part to be cool.

elvis presly was just kicking in now. the only thing to do was to the shoe and start making out with strange boys off the top! it was quite exciting! french kissing was a biggie! movies such as "war of the worlds", "the tingler with vincent price" "them" the ant movie. "the day the earth stood still", tarantula". (forgot to though the seats vibrated for the tingler) you know the movie line up then.

drive lns were real exciting! only went with my parents at this time. stewart and i of course, not jerry.

in the 6yh grade in one of my classes, we all had to do something original to entertain everyone. i decided to sing along to the song "the little blue man" " i wuv you, i wuv you" said the little blue man, i wuv you i wuv you to bits" some of the lyrics. with my small record player i lip synched along pretending to be this little man. i painted my whole face bright blue and wore my dad's coat! this seemed to go over pretty big! right out of the "little rascals". i remember getting a crush on a ditch digger! he was digging a ditch right next to our driveway. i would write him notes of admiration. i thought he was cute. i would actually follow him around the neighborhood! he actually put me on his shoulders once and walked me around a little bit. boy!!, was that exciting. kids do, do these things (at least i did).

a regular friend of mine, who lived a block away, came over as usual. his name was stevie bagby. he was a little younger then me. we started walking down the street and wandered into a neighbor's garage. we climbed on top of some cement sacks (i don't know what got into me) i pulled down my pants and had him do the same! this was a huge moment! this was a no, no!!! this just had to happen. he laid back and i got on top of him. lots of little rocks of cement were all over these bags. i rubbed on top of stevie for a least an hour and a half, (who knows) i couldn't get enough of this. it felt so wonderful of a sensation inside of me i couldn't stop, i couldn't get enough.

when we got back home i figured that it was okay with playing around together, it should be okay. at the same time i felt guilty and scared at the same time! i was nervous and told stevie "don't say anything about what we did! please don't! "you promise?" he shook his little head "yes" i sent him straight home.

73. childhood continued..

in 30 minutes there was a knock at the door. it was stevie's mother holding his hand, (i was gonna die!) her face was all twisted up and red.

it seemed like she was ready to explode! mrs. bagby was beside herself! (my heart was sitting on my feet) she said, (in a quivering voice) "my stevie has little indentations all over his behind and i have no idea how these got there!!"

he said that june and he were playing, so i figured i had better get to the bottom of this!! i could hardly speak. i said "i didn't hit him". i was wrong i guess. i didn't hurt him or anything and i started to cry in shame! this was horrible and embarrassing! well, that was it! they seemed to know everything without knowing! (which made it worse). they seemed to know the grave details! they left and i was stuck looking at my mothers beautiful face of disappointment.

then she said "we have to take your bike away now and that's the way it goes!" oh my god! this really hit me hard because yesterday i was watching sheriff john's show as usual. it was time for him to sing happy birthday to some lucky kid (as he always did, i watched him religiously).

then sherriff john said "today is june wilson's birthday." today (my baloney sandwich, i couldn't chew anymore) june just turned 6 years old today and she is getting a green colored bicycle! let's sing happy birthday to her right now! he then lit all the candles on this huge big pink cake! he started to sing "put another candle on your birthday cake and when you do a wish you'll make, so put another candle on your birthday cake! your another year old today!!

i couldn't believe it! i couldn't eat any more of my eggnog potato chips and baloney sandwich on my tv tray. the fact that my mother went out of her way and called sheriff john (whom i idolized, and my mother was my queen after this one!) setting this whole thing up for me!

then she peeked around the corner and said "surprise!" gave me a big hug and kiss and told me to go and look in the garage!! there it was!! my brand new cream colored bicycle, just like sheriff john told me!! this blew my mind because no one had ever spoken to me personally for real on the television! and i just loved good old sheriff john so much, who didn't! this was a moment in my life that i would never forget!! what a wonderful thing for my mother to do!! (little did i know that my new bicycle would be taken away the next day)

i made such a terrible mistake fooling around with stevie bagby!! thank god!! my mom and dad let me have it back at the end of the day! that's how understanding my gracious parents were! what a relief! discovering how body parts worked is an unavoidable thing to investigate which i seemed to have on my mind quite a bit! it was a natural progression for me. my parents obviously knew this.

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one day i walked into the living room and saw my mom resting on the couch after a days cleaning. i noticed a little fast moment underneath the blanket over her. she didn't know i was behind her in the doorway, about 6 feet back. it was her hand moving quickly!! why was she doing this?

so i immediately went into the bathroom, pulled down my pants, sat on the toilet. so i just kept rubbing myself until a glowing magical feeling started up! boy did this start to feel real good! too good! a little scary!! how good can you feel? i couldn't stop and oh oh! i climaxed for the first time in my life! i was eight years old! i've been partaking ever since! if need be!

74. childhood continued..

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you never know what's going to happen. this was an adventure i went on to look for my brother jerry on my bicycle. we lived inland i rode down to the beach area. i knew he was at his good friend steve de frances house. i stopped to look in the white pages in this telephone booth. i was having a problem finding his name. i wanted to call first. i didn't know where he lived. i noticed a man in the adjoining booth. i asked him would you please help me find a name? he came right over. i was down on my knees looking in the lowered phone book. this stranger was standing right behind me. i heard a zip!! then he said "would you hold this please?" i looked around and my left eye was staring at the end of his big pipe organ!! ! that did it!! i screamed bloody murder!! i wanted to slam it against the side of the booth with accordion glass door. too frightened, not enough guts and not quick enough! so i just screamed and cried real loud to make him paranoid enough to zip it up and leave..! he did, thank god! he jumped in his car and took off like a bat out of hell. what a relief! after the shack incident really didn't want to see old adult body parts again!! they are ugly and a bit freighting to have to look at! so to this day whenever anyone says "will you hold this please?" makes me think of the phone booth incident.

i'm tinker bell. the movie "peter pan" came out!!! how exciting!! now it's time to fly!! had to somehow get off the ground! like a bird i tried jumping off our roof of our one story house! first i tried an umbrella! this didn't work! then i tried a beach towel. no such luck! then i tried one of the sheets off the clothesline!! it puffed out pretty good but it didn't keep me up!! it didn't cut the mustard!! then i came up with a great idea!! i started all over the neighborhood for pixie dust! somehow i figured it would be somewhere in the bushes! well, i didn't find any magic to fly!! i could just put a little on my head and at least get to fly over the telephone poles just like tinker bell did!! oh well, at least i tried. i don't give up too easily. it was so exciting trying. always wanted to fly bodily and still do!

"speckles turn" a chicken wandered into our backyard! oh boy! this was my instant new pet!! it was white with little black speckles all it. i named it "speckles" i brought it the house immediately!! i asked my mom if i could keep it? she said "well i suppose dear. for heavens sakes" i put speckles on the couch with my mother to watch tv with her! it did!! it became a regular ritual! my mom was a good sport!! what a cute picture to see them together!! it made my mom happy too! everytime speckles needed to lay an egg she would let out this long high pitched noise! so we would let her outside el pronto! off to the bushes in the backyard and she would lay an egg! how exciting! then i'd cook it, eat it! nothing like fresh eggs!

75. my dog tippy

since speckles wandered off i could always count on my dog tippy! same name as marilyn monroe's! (didn't know this at this time) she was a black and white sweet mutt. i wrote a song for her. it went like this: "i'm going downtown to see my barber, "hey da ding dang dilly dally day" he lives by the big wet harbor" "hey da ding dang dilly dally day" " i'm going down there with my sister, so he can shave my grey old whiskers" hey da ding stuff." "i hope his blade won't make me holler" "hey stuff dalley day!

this was basically it! i sang that for tippy for years visualizing her singing it!! a singing dog is cute!! my dad would call me "peaches" whenever i would drive in the car with him. he would grab me by the earlobe and say "how are you doing peaches?" that was his nickname for me besides always calling me junie, as my mom did too!

more clark lane experiences/incidences

my brothers and my grandpa always had a crazy sense of humor! obviously this is where i get mine! my grandpa would chase us around the front yard with his false teeth hanging out on purpose! stewart and i ran around in circles from the monster he became! he made me scream!

stewart and i got into the habit of squeezing each other real hard around each other's rib cage which made us tingly all over to where we almost passed out! this gave us a high you can't really describe! one time after i squeezed stewart he grabbed the lawn hose and started singing into it like a microphone! that was funny to me at the time. we had a small addiction to doing this affixation business for quite some time! we didn't worry whether it was bad for us or not but we were careful not to do it too much! i don't know where my brother discovered this whole thing! stewart would pull surprises on me such as this one. i was sitting on the drive wearing a white t shirt. he comes up to me and says " how ya doin?" lifts up the back of my t shirt real fast and puts a handful of snails underneath, puts the shirt back over and then slaps my back hard and crushes and squishes these slimy, crispy snails on my bare skin!!! it was a horrible feeling! stewart always tormented me doing prank stunts.

stewart and i acted together too! he pretended to be a mountain lion named cady, i was the little girl who owned him, my name was edna (grandma's name). i'm the brain in developing the characters and names. he would get up in a tree at random and i would talk to him. tried talking him down etc. or just plain tell him how pretty he was! so we played edna and cady all the time. this was a special secret imaginary play for us to turn into reality! i'll never forget it!

76. added grandpa teachings

my grandpa taught me how to throw a softball real good. later on i was on a little league softball team. i was the pitcher. i was real good. struck em out all the time!!!! see, these things pay off later!!

then grandpa taught me how to play checkers. i played checkers with him all the time. guess what? i entered a checker tournament at the local recreation park! i won!! that was intense! they had me travel around at all the other tournaments at the other events!! i kept winning everyone!! it was a breeze for me! grandpa was very competitive! then i was boiled down to the last and final competition!! i was afraid of my opponent! she was disfigured horribly!! her jawbone was huge! it went to a long fat point to the right! spit would drool out of her mouth. she would look at me dead in the eyes with her black hairy eyebrows, black eyes, with pimples all over her face! this made it harder for me to concentrate!! thank god for all the freak show attendance at the long beach pike! it helped me to withstand this last important game to be top dog at checkers. we were head to head (not literarily, too close for comfort) then the final move, she got it and won!! it bothered me after 10 or more different people. i did want to win so badly, but since she was the way she was made me happy!! my grandpa and parents were real proud of me and so was i.

my brother jerry

he was always tucked away in our converted garage!! (clark lane still) all he ever did was practice singing like frank sinatra. he loved his voice so. jerry was always removed perfecting his style. we hardly ever saw him only heard him. was he handsome it was always a thrill to see him emerge from his dungeon music room! he was too busy perfecting his hairdo. a jelly roll with sideburns. he was better looking then elvis. he also listened to the hi lo's. harmonizing was his thing also! the four freshman etc.

there was an upright piano in his room to. my dad taught me to play his style. i learned "love me tender", "cherry pink and blossom white " and "in a little spanish town".

my dad and mom invited musicians over for jams. lots of sailors would be right in my living room smelling of old spice! i was in hog heaven!

the pike got me all excited about them to begin with! here i am sitting on their knees now, they're all handsome of course! i even got to ride in the back of an old ford rumble seat parked out front of my house. my uncle was one too of course! i died and went to heaven. i was in love with all of them. i was about 13 years old now!! zowie! raging hormones!

sorry! i got sidetracked with them. back to my brother! my parents also invited mr. harry weiss (the most famous gay lawyer in hollywood) warner touband they were a team. filthy rotten rich classy under the table queers! i'm not being mean that's just what they called them back then. of course i didn't know any different! warner was a big hollywood producer! once they got a gander of my extremely good looking brother, they went ga ga!

77. my brother jerry continued..

he brought them to their knees!! their jaws dropped! i remember!! i couldn't understand how two grown men could be so happy in just watching my brother move. it's as if they fell in love instantly! (they did!) they came over all the time and showered him with gifts! hell! i got presents for christmas and so did stewart! this was fine with us!! they loved my father's fats waller style and wallowed in it watching my brother at the same time. they bought him a lambretta motor scooter! it was baby blue and white. i sure loved my doll and baby carriage from them!

so harry and warner put my brother on the cover of "dig magazine! " one of the biggest teen magazines at the time (50's ya know) it was a professional photographer they hired to capture his magnificence. underneath his blow up photo it said "win jerry wilson for two days" whoever wins jerry wilson gets to spend two days with him!!! this was unreal!! now my brother was a big handsome teenage star!!! i was always in awe of him to begin with! ! i was very proud to have him as my other brother! heck they were both good looking! i was cute! my mom was beautiful. and dad?, please, he was beautifully handsome too! what can i say!

so harry and warner would take our whole family in two brand new rolls royce's to their huge hollywood mansion! good lord! it had an elevator in it! blew my little mind that's for sure! it was like a museum! paintings everywhere! huge ones like i'd never seen in a home! heck our little house was only two bedrooms with a converted garage! they were flaunting their wealth to impress my parents and us just because of my brother!

as time went by jerry seemed to be getting madder and madder dealing with harry and warner! they wanted him to pluck his eyebrows etc. and this was the straw that broke the camel's back! knowing this they brought over a real, real, sexy beautiful white haired woman like i've never seen before. coreayla was her name. great big bosoms! face like a marilyn monroe! (i fantasized about her all the time too!) now i have one looking in my refrigerator with a lot of cleavage! my jaw was hanging! jerry liked her! i guess they did this to please my brother. they were always hogging him to their selves! jerry was tired of always being asked to pose in certain ways! jerry finally realized that these nicely dressed, good smelling men with ruby bracelets and fine watches and harry's hats, were gay!!! this was out of the question! jerry was livid! i didn't know anything about this stuff and didn't want to know either! i was too interested in boys and liked all their free expensive gifts! but i'll tell you one thing, i've never seen my brother that mad ever! he dropped them like hot potatoes!! i guess they were closing in on him and he would have no part of it!

jerry wilson's a real man and loves only women and frank and all standard songs like my dad played! modeling? no thanks! !! we all got back to normal! my uncle kenny jumped off the manhattan beach pier in his underwear!! (he was drunk of course!) mom shared all this with me. we just always had uncle lucka on stand up base in our living room and umpteen finest musicians. black ones, lots of blues players, and just plain heavy dudes! this was normal and very educational!! my nostrils were flared most of the time with excitement!!

78. el porto

out of the blue, my dad designed a two story house two blocks from the sand!! i was stoked!!! i loved these plastic horses stuck in the sand by the swings! i loved my father so! he was my hero!! we would always go by and check the progress of the construction! the horses flipped me out because they were life size! always wanted a real one every christmas but never got one! i settled for these instead! stewart and i still asphyxiated each other on the sand now and the surf pounded! cool!

we moved in just in time for me to go to el segundo jr. high. i ran for secretary! did my own campaigning! made my own posters to advertise myself!! hells bells! i was all fired up!! didn't win. it was rough business standing in front of the whole assembly behind the podium! ‘a' for effort!

take note. we were still always going to grandma's and grandpa's i think i forgot to mention that when either one of them burped, they both burped out the letter rrrrrrrrrr and dragged it out!!! isn't that funny!!! i'd laugh real hard every time!

so since the pike was an on going existence, i fell in love with the walk through funhouse idea!!! underneath our new two story house was a door that opened up to a dark empty space with dirt on the ground and pipes on the ceiling. washer and dryers i guess. we had brand new ones! hey, i wonder if harry and warner gave my dad a chunk of money too? possible! this was a "rags to riches" move to the beach!

anyway, i decided to make my own funhouse under ours!!! i hung up an old car fender i found and hung it up where no one could see it, so i could hit it with a hammer to make loud crashing sounds!!! it was a startling effect! it made a few local friends jump! i stuffed one of my brother jerry's shirts and pants and made a couple of dummies! they were headless. the knives and ketchup on their chests were quite effective!

you could walk through a couple of corners with sheets making short hallways that led you to a dark little boxed in room with a curtain you must pull open yourself (a sign told you) then you would see a fortune teller sitting at a small table (tetephone wire spool) who's sitting there? me!, dressed as a fortune teller! i did my best to be weird and scary at the same time! i ran the whole show and had a ball doing it! my inventive mind never stopped! i think they should have a fun house in every city all year round to this day!

my dad played piano at "the elbow room" a cool beachie bar. he also played at "the outrigger" that was really happening.

i do remember an incident that happened with my girlfriend and i which took place in our house! (bits and pieces is all i remember) we invited two guys over we really didn't like. we wore baby doll pajamas to be sexy. we told to them wait in the living room. we said "we're going to make a nice salad for ya". we're in the kitchen, when we made a nice colorful salad then we tossed it on the floor, rubbed it around a little and put it back in thir bowls! i almost wet my pants laughing so hard! we had a ball thinking what dorks they were. (that's not very nice, the things frustrated kids do!)

79. el porto continued..

i was almost 14 years old now. i remember one of the current hit songs was elvis presley's "tonight's the night" loved it soooo much! also the song "it was i" by skip and flip" was top of the charts. loved this song too! all the songs were incredible at this time. "cherry pie" was great! there's too many! you know the oldies in the late 50's!

my sweet, sweet tippy dog died! tore me up! too much for me!

i had an olive complexion. i always tanned beautifully. my red brown hair. i squeezed lemon juice on it and brought blond streaks.

i did one of the meanest surfer stomps for two to four hours at a time! drank beer non stop at "the rendezvous" in newport beach. all the time foot stomping! foot stomping! more beer! cigarettes too! this was the thing to do! who were my friends dancing to? dick dale ane the dell tones! best surf music in the world! couldn't get enough of it! fantastic life!

hermosa beach my father couldn't afford to live at the beach house that close anymore. we moved to hermosa on ardmore st. i went to pier ave school. i was in the choir. it was time for the "christmas concert" at the local park. they asked me to sing the lead for "silent night" i did, with the whole choir behind me! i was nervous. i had the microphone all to myself! i have perfect pitch. that's what my mother told me and she was very critical of singers. i have a good ear for music! being raised with musicians all over the house didn't hurt!

when elvis presley's movie "loving you" came out at the redondo beach theater, i was there for the first showing! it was a big deal! before the movie started a man named bill gordan came on stage and said " whoever can name this song i'm going to play on the accordion, and whoever guesses the title of the song the quickest, will win a trip to disneyland! he played three notes. i yelled "winter wonderland!! that was it and i won! i told ya i have a great ear for music! i still do to this day! i got the free trip! won't go on about it.

it turned me on to watch elvis on the big screen in loving you. so handsome he was. the girls were screaming! i was just on the edge of my seat mesmerized. i knew not to get carried away with my admiration for him because i knew he would be unreachable. never become a groupie for anyone! not me! i was a surfer girl. brown as a berry. loved bikinis with my petite figure. went to the lamar theatre that was always happening. all the great old movies were there. don't want to think of them.

actually "them" the ant movie was there i think. i always went to beach parties. didn't need a bra. i had small real cute ones at this time, i put toilet paper in a bra just so i could wear one. i was embarrassed privately. weekends were always happening. gerald wilson was playing at "the mermaid" on the strand at the hermosa beach pier!

80. hermosa beach continued..

a couple of doors inland from "the mermaid" was "the insmoniac beatnick coffee house" this was really happening. a red headed bearded man name bob hair ran it, maybe he owned it not sure. i went in there off and on for a couple of years.

i'll never forget when a new group, all black brothers there name was "the chambers brothers" first time a black soul rock group of this size ever performed here. i was real excited to find out all the commotion was all about as i was walking by one evening. i walked in. it was packed! first time i saw a group of people jumping up and down. i just had to join in! dancing is the love of my life!! i am the music! can't dance hard enough! a picture was taken with my hair flying up. i've lost it over the years moving along with that dig magazine picture of my brother darn it. it's okay i do have quite a selection of other ones. scads of photo's that even survived fire! (later).

"the light house" was across the street from the coffee house. now we're talking, top of the line pertaining to trios. jazz etc. who topped them all? gerald wilson, playing at the mermaid. that's my dad!! you better believe it!

it was time for the ninth grade! growing up! i enrolled at mira costa high school. i became a bit rebellious for some reason. i was the only girl with the lowest grades and i also the worst in citizenship! i just couldn't listen to the teachers and would rather stir up the classroom one way or another. i'd pass around my cute stuffed mouse holding a piece of corn in it's hands and show it to everyone. i'd put a piece of bubble gum up my nose & made sure who was close to me could see this. how stupid! i named my p.e. teacher turkey neck, because it was loose and wrinkly. that's a very mean thing to do to anyone! i obviously had no direction. i just couldn't settle down. i was in the principal's office at least two times a week! i'm amazed i wasn't kicked out! here's the saving grace! i went to one of our football games and something happened inside of me. i was mesmerized with the song leaders! gorgeous blondes with perfect french twist hairdo's. the long upswept bangs had a curl on top of the doo. very classy and beautifully happening! this is what i had to become by hook or crook! a bona fide song leader!

my grades were so bad we actually had to move to another house and start again! tenth grade. was transferred to aviation high school! thank god! i fell in love with this new school and the new dream within me.

we moved to plant ave. this house looked like a huge cracker box!! maybe a huge, huge stucco trailer minus the wheels! i was sooooooo embarrassed of it! it was about 8 long blocks i would walk to school. did i have a plan of attack or what! 10th grade was the beginning of a's and b's, a c once in a while. i just had to be the best so i could try out to be a song leader! to have perfect conduct is the right beginning. i started working on my good clean image! brought the hairdo from mira costa which i elaborated on. i ironed my shirts and blouses with starch. i was squeaky clean all the time.

81. white and day mortuary incident

i would still go to hermosa beach off and on. one time my girlfriend and i went into "the white and day mortuary" on pier ave. we snuck in hoping to see a dead body. (mind you i was letter perfect at my new school, didn't mean i couldn't be adventuress in my personal life) i had never seen a corpse before, just wanted to have a look see. so linda, just remembered her name, and i looked in and out of small rooms. bingo! here in lie's an open casket! yes! there's an elderly woman nicely dressed in a beautiful casket, looking fresh as a daisy! i was smoking a marlboro cigarette. i put it out in a potted plant next to her. she looked like a dead doll to me. i don't know what came over me. i wanted to feel how hard her lips would feel. i took my cigarette butt and wedged it between her lips. it was hard to get in. i feel horrible writing this, what a macabre, unspeakable act! i'm so ashamed right now! i just want to tell all for better or worse!

this was such an intense act, it made me laugh into my hand! i actually left this poor woman with a cigarette all scrunched up sticking out between her thin, hard, potato chip lips! they shoot horses don't they? should have gone to jail for this! regardless, hilarious to us, we ran out and split the scene! we went back the next day to see if she was alright. in the driveway was a casket. no one was in sight as usual. i sneaked over and lifted the lid! low and behold! it was her! she was all disarrayed, and tussled looking minus the cigarette butt! far out huh? (i'm speaking in 14 year old brain waves) noodle ones! why was her hair messed and blouse crocked? all i did was the wedging bit. seemed they elaborated themselves! they didn't care! okay, at this age i just had a yearning inside to do they were taboo! i'm a rebel. i can't stop myself. school? perfect me! so i swing both ways. boring! everything's boring! you have to deal with it by addressing the problem. beer and cigs too! my parents drank 5 o'clock on. i never had supervision. they were too busy running the perfect household and making music! they loved me more than anything in the world. i was given freedom to experience life on my own. too much freedom. do they really care! i was happy to run around as i pleased. like a little butterfly looking for fun and a little trouble. attention too, starting at two on up!

my mother wouldn't let me make my own bed. had to be done right! she was meticulous! couldn't do the dishes, laundry, nothing! therefore i had plenty of free time to enjoy growing up minus chores. what a luxury! so i just had fun all the time! for better or worse!

82. my cherry was popped

i use to hang out at the big top ice cream shop right across the street from the mortuary (oddly enough). i'm 15 years old. i was sitting on a beautiful afternoon having an ice cream cone alone. great area, not far from beach. not far from the mermaid. a real al capone car pulls up right in front! a mind blowing black gangster car right out of the movies! oh my god! a real cute blonde headed guy and walks in real cool chewing gum. he ordered some ice cream and sat down right next to me in these wooden school desk chairs. he looked at me and said "hi" that did it! my jaw was hanging down in my head but i couldn't show this physically! he had beautiful green eyes, curly eyelashes. cute teeth and good lips! checkered shirt. not a surfer boy. something different and refreshing. i said hello back. i asked him his name. "gary jack" he said. "my name is june wilson, nice to meet you" then i said "is that your car?" he said "yes" "you're kidding! can i see it?" "sure" outside we went! he let me sit right inside! i was flipping out! i told him how much i loved his car! "can i have a ride in it?" he said "sure" wow i'm stoked! this is bitchen! i was very impressed with him and his car! he said he was a mechanic! he had a little grease under his finger nails, from tuning up his car and washing it/waxing it etc. i fell for him right away! cute as a bug's ear! he felt the same i could tell. indeed he gave me a kiss and he became my first official boyfriend! "cherry, ba do do, cherry pie ba do do do do , give me ba do do , give me some cherry cherry pie, ba da dom ba da dom, dom da da dom!" this was the hit song playing on his radio! i was jumping in my seat without moving! i brought him home to my mother! we were proud of each other as a fast made team! she liked him right away and okayed it! excitement was arising within me! i was now spoken for and instantly devoted. i lost my virginity a couple of weeks later on our living room floor. i was a little afraid because the rumors i heard were that if your cherry popped you bleed a little. this did not happen. i made sure he pulled out before he climaxed. my period started at 14 years old so watch it!!! my mom taught me. i kept this a secret and mom never worried one way or another. i'm such a good girl and looked up to her she gave me permission to run my own show! so i felt i was growing up now, very slowly, since i was very immature for my age.

1960 lion's drag with gary jack i would help gary work on his mom's house in the garage. i learned how to change the oil, clean the carburetor, polish all the chrome on al capone. would iron shirts for his mother, 15 cents a pop! she showed me how to iron a man's shirt properly starch and all. i'd iron 15 shirts at a time for a pittance. mom just did it all and never taught me how to clean. so i started really ironing my shirts beautifully! crispy clean is my favorite thing, neat as a pin.

83. gary jack continued..

gary loved the "lion's drag strip" the quarter mile drags is really exciting and happening! we went back into the pits with our pit passes. nothing like watching a man tune up a car. preparation before each race is essential. there was always a fat mechanic somewhere bending over showing his hinny crack! this cracked me up! so did farts! ridiculous! use to blow them on my arm all the time! only with girlfriends and my brother stewart, who didn't. silly!

the funny cars? stone and woods! smaller bodied cars! the henry j was used for it's light weight body. vw's you name it! the rails/dragsters were my favorite!! rocket fuel turned me on! loved the fire that jets out the back at take off! the smell rubber burning off the smoking slicks/ big wide smooth tires on the backs. they seemed to resembled a praying mantas on its belly with wheels. insecty looking made of metal. just tripping!

the green monster! is on the track! oh my god! it's is a rocket lying laying on its side with wheels! this was an insane sight! the drivers name i think was orso! he was the king! gary and i were sitting on the spectator side. when the green monster was revved up over and over it was earth shattering! vibrating the ground and your body with it! curled my toes! the lights go from red to yellow to green then red! off it goes! you can't breath! when i saw the parachute opened at the end, my cherry snow cone was black! when i blew my nose it would be black too! who cares, you're numb by all the beer so nothing really bothers you. almost drove my 56 ford down the strip, but chickened out. i drive like a man not a woman. at least i thought so. gary taught me how to drive on a stick shift.

gary bought me two cars right after we met. one 1950 ford and 51. they were $50.00 each! gary hopped them up for me. they were on a rake, the backs up in the air. white tuck and roll seats! great leather! scoop on the hood. moonies/baldies for hubcaps. i loved driving to school in my happening ford's.

i wanted to have a dog again. gary and i went to the pound, walked down the cages. there it was! the cutest puppy i've ever seen! he was a baby version of "petie" the dog on "the little rascals" he was part stafford terrier & dalmatian. he was white, black and brown with a brown figure eight on his back, short hair, short tailed miniature guernsey cow combo! i named him "ollie" after laurel and hardy. he was always by my side. i taught him to say "ma ma!" clear as a bell. my mom called him the little white tornado. he was fast. $20 bucks was a steal for being so bright and smart!

on my twin bed next to my brother stewarts, i'd always watch faithfully "hollywood a go go" the most popular musical/dance show on television. everyone who was on the charts/ radio, you name it was on this show! the dancers were known as the "gazzarri dancers" they always danced on the back shelf in an old garage like brick wall. ladders along the side of dance floor, people dancing along to hit songs. i was mesmerized! i fantasized of being one of those dancers all the time. mini skirt & go go boots were happening! monkey, pony & the jerk, were current dance moves my brother left the nest and went to hollywood. i got his room all to myself! wow! parents slept in living room. can't expect too much out of a cracker box. it is a roof! that's fine of course. i was never spoiled or disrespectful to such parents as they.

84. shoplifting incidences

i missed my brother jerry. hardly knew him to begin with. my mother told me "don't ever try to figure your brother out. he remains a mystery. "junie? i feel closest to you. you are very special. so i concentrated on becoming a song leader.

here we go again! for some reason i started to shoplift here and there. i had an inner desire to have more clothes. i wanted a few angora sweaters. i took the bus to westchester always alone. i brought an empty bag to start with. went into the dressing room to try on clothes, stuff a good amount of pieces in my large bag with my likings. then i would simply walk out to go to another store. there were no electronic devices then. i would then ask for a bigger bag from the new salesgirl and i'd say "would you mind giving me a bigger bag, i've been buying a lot today and i'm not through yet" no problem, piece of cake! then i would go in and try some of their clothes and enter in more of my pickings. bag was full, i was happy! then i would hop on bus again, go home, and tally up the stolen goods! it came to $600.00 worth! i can't believe i did this.

white wig caper!! on my next premeditated lifting caper, i bought a cheap white wig, the same color as paper. i was a popular shag wig, felt like cotton. everyone wore them. you see. i just knew i could get away with stealing for some reason. liked the challenge and the edge it gave me! had to play out my inner drive with this thought process! couldn't help it. mom never wondered where i got the sweaters, gary must have bought them. this time i went to the torrance mall to sear's and roebucks. went to the junior department since i was so petite i could fit in these too still. i put only two items (pants and blouse) no cameras. felt like maybe someone might have looked over top of my dressing room. i was anxious! i was walking quickly! i was almost panting! i took the escalator downstairs. walk straight towards the front to exit, sure enough a hand grabbed my arm!!! it was a woman store detective!! plainclothes one! i thought i was gonna die! i knew this was going to blow the whole song leader goal!!! they took me downstairs!! my heart was in my feet!! i broke into a sweat!! (wig's hot too!) i thought i was going to have a heart attack!! two cops were in the office!! they asked me for my home phone # and they called my mother!! i was crying and so ashamed!! the made me stand up and they put handcuffs on me! they hurt! still wore my wig didn't take it off! didn't want to blow my identity. the cops said "what we should really do is walk you right through the middle of the store so everyone can see you with these cuffs on. but (long pause) i guess we'll make it a little easier on you and take you out the back door!! " in the back of the police car i went! it took about 15 to 20 minutes to get to plant ave. (the longest ride in my life!)

they talked to me a little bit, they knew i was suffering! they were teaching me a lesson! it worked! there's the yellow cracker box. was i not only scared to death, i was so embarrassed of living in this big box and i'm up for song leading. cops and i are at the front door, i'm in a white wig my mom has never seen and i was caught for shoplifting! holy moly! forget it! my mom says "door's open, come on in". there's my beautiful mother powdering her nose getting ready to sing with my father! as usual! the cops say "here she is mam. my mom said "that's fine, just don't ever do it again dear" out of the corner of her eye!

85. shoplifting incidences continued..

unbelievable! that was all she did! she planned not to make a big deal out of this, she knew i was suffering inside too much already! she knew how good of a girl i really am! a smart, sweet woman she was! she let it slide completely! i went to bed with a whew and got to calm down as my mom went to work. it was never mentioned again. see, you don't have to be hard on kids, they already know they were wrong. i was so lucky to have such docile parents. the only thing that bothered me was whether or not the aviation high school staff would get wind of this or not! they didn't! i practiced my song leader routine i made up until it was perfect! i danced my heart out!! i'll be darned if i didn't get it! i became a song leader! my dream came true! it took three years! you have to be a senior to be a song leader! i made it! the biggest achievement in my life!

the rebel side keeps going off and on regardless being a song leader at the same time. i wanted to show how smart i was pulling off stupid stunts and getting away with it.

gary bought me a hatari wagon. an ugly studebaker van like thing that you open the back with two doors, then crawl in. i decorated it inside to make it like a beach hut! i lined the inner side walls & ceiling with fish net. i hung up a real star fish or two! sea shells and flowers, rocks in the corners. my hawaiian hut on wheels!

i would simply leave around 11:00am telling my teacher i wasn't feeling well. i still had a couple of friends at mira costa high school. i would go and pick them up outside when they were walking around. i asked them if they would rather ride around with me and go to the beach, drink a little beer etc. i did this a couple of times and got away with it. what a blast! i guess you could say i wasn't a good influence. just had to sneak around. shoplifting was over, had to do something to fill the gap of wrong doing with other pranks! my nose was in the grindstone so much with my a's & b's, needed to let my hair down one way or another! had at least four to five of them piled in the back. had an older man outside liquor store buy the beer! song leaders we the song leaders, gail morton, leslie williams, julie gillespie, veronica, and tanya butts who's fathers name was harry! (can you imagine going through life with a name like that?) how about eating out at a restaurant waiting for a table and then you hear "harry butts!, party of four!" come on give me a break! enough of this for heavens sakes!

we made our own uniforms, even the full short slips underneath. black and white polka dots on them. short black micro mini dress with a white boat and white piping down the front that would curve in at the waist was very flattering, classy, and sexy white gloves. black tennis shoes with white socks. my up original hairdo i stole from mira costa we wore! (i did it! if you put your mind to something and don't give up you can do it)! gail morton's talented mother was the mastermind for this design! she was a most excellent seamstress!

86. song leaders continued

song leaders continued

after practicing our routines to patriotic songs, i figured it was time to relax! (too many cocktail parties at home always around talented drinkers, and open bottles of beer etc. ) around 14 yrs old i'd have little sips to see what was all the excitement was about) the "big five" our tag name for us popular girls. kathy galvin and elaine clark were flag twirlers and us song leaders gail morton, myself, and leslie williams (not sure she was there)

let's get to the point! i drove us to the liquor store. i and i would be the one to approach complete strangers to buy us alcohol. i got it no problem. dangerous to do for a minor. we'd partake in drink and laugh a lot. no one ever knew. this was the thing to do to be bad of course.

my first picture session i drove into a gas station. after the attendent filled up my tank (you only needed four to five bucks then, two bucks would take you pretty far). he asked me "have you ever had pictures taken before?" "nope" i said. he asked me if it's okay that he take a couple of pictures of me. he was a photographer on the side. i said yes!

we set a time and day. i could feel he was not a sex pervert, like the ones i always ran into. there were lots of flashers in manhattan beach too! men driving in cars making sure you could see that they had their hand on there big salamis raised up high driving by you. i was sick of seeing this stuff, i just knew he was safe to photograph me. he had it all set up in his garage. my hair was in a flip of course which i did perfectly. perfect makeup too. hand on my chin poses very classy. these were very good. he was a perfect gentleman. i was lucky wasn't i? my parents didn't even know about this!

falling in love. tall, dark, and handsome, i couldn't help but notice the star basketball player jeff bate. instant bait to me. if i could only see what it would be like to be with this tall dark and handsome man! i noticed him in the eleventh grade. all the girls took notice to him. i was sixteen and with gary faithfully of course! he was one year ahead of me. completely different from my not so tall cutie pie gary. never took my eye off of him! couldn't help it! finally i got enough guts to walk up to him and say hello! i told him i thought he was a terrific basketball player! he was very tall looking up at him, six feet tall or morel gary was 5' 7". jeff had thick wavy dark brown hair and big brown eyes and nice full lips and beautiful white teeth! perfect body, what more can i say. male model material.

so, after i complimented him, he was very polite. i could feel an instant attraction from both of us! i wanted to kiss him right away! he asked me out on a date! that did it! i was walking 10 feet in the ground!!! i fell in love with him! i couldn't eat!! couldn't sleep! had to sneak around with him. i didn't want gary jack to know! no way would i let him slip through my fingers! i just had to be with him! when he kissed me over and over, it was so intense i got wet instantly! oh my goodness it was either his parents house or mine! we did it together i died and went to heaven!

87. being with jeff!!!!

too good to be true and exciting! i'm with him!!!! he's so sexy! gorgeous! the hair on his body was soft and perfectly placed!! our chemistry was on fire! i kept this a secret from gary long enough! it was too hard on me to cheat on gary for at least two months!

i told gary it was time for us to break up! it would be cruel to tell him about my new man! gary had been so important to me and sweet. i grew out of him and into jeff! gary was devastated! he started to shake and his face got red and then he fell to the floor and flopped like a fish!! it seemed like he was having a convulsion! i didn't know what to do! maybe i should call an ambulance! we were at the cracker box and my parents were gone! this was scary! he wouldn't stop flopping!

i just talked fast to calm him down. i was real sweet and loving, sympathetic, understanding, you name it. i talked him out of this state! he got up off the floor with a dazed look on his face, tears running down his cheeks! this wasn't any fun after all i had a new love in my life and was leaving him high and dry!

i needed to be with jeff all the time now! i had to be honest to my heart! so i let him go as easy as i could. it was severed! jeff was mine now and i was his! he proposed to me! i accepted and he gave me a beautiful diamond ring, white platinum band!

i was wondering were jeff would go every wednesday night. i asked him. he said i'm a musician! really! alright! "what kind of musician? do you have your own band? "yes! i play in the salvation army band!" "you are kidding, how unusual." that's great. (i felt there was a little lead balloon hearing this. not understanding this, "what instrument do you play?" "the tuba!' i felt embarrassed for him (not nice of me) couldn't it have been a rock group or something? he explained to me that he really had no choice! his father was born into it and so therefore so was he.

so since he was part of the salvation army church he might as well learn an instrument and join the band. okay! now i'm going to the salvation army church with my handsome man basketball star fiancé! who cares i'd go anywhere with him. guess what their orchestra was most excellent, i was impressed! heck i fantasized joining in and becoming one of the tambourine girls wearing their army suits and hats! at christmas time they would march in the parade on hollywood blvd, i would follow by walking along the sidewalk lined up with jeff and the other tuba players! i was real proud of my good upstanding handsome fiance!

after jeff graduated he would come to all the rally's to watch me song lead and kick my leg high enough to hit my face! what an exciting time for me to be one of the most popular girls and to be engaged to him!

time for the prom! getting ready for the prom is so exciting! i was aware of the fact that i was one of the contenders! to be "the mardi gras queen" would be the ultimate! kathy galvin was also up for it. her incredible personality and her presence was her gift, not counting her gorgeous face etc.. was one of the big five rat pack girls that we were. i knew she would get it!! you see all the guys in the school voted for the girl they wanted to be their queen, as did the girls for their king!

88. time for the prom! continued..

jeff took me to the prom of course. i wore an ice blue taffeta, a sleeveless dress. i created my own french twist hairdo as usual. we were drinking wine! (loved my corsage) i had a pretty good buzz, who didn't! us girls were backstage on pins and needles waiting to hear who was going to be "the queen!".

they called out my name! june wilson! i thought i was going to fall over! oh my god! i won! i came out behind the curtain and was handed a dozen roses! they placed a beautiful crown on my head! i was in the clouds! unreal! i had such an intense feeling i was glad i had some wine to handle all the excitement! it was hard walking down the isle to the special place for photos.

pete espinosa was crowned king! we stood together for the king and queen picture for the class of ‘64 high school annual. this was a night that would never be forgotten! look how far i've gone since mira costa disaster. see, if you really work hard to achieve your dreams they do happen. the queen part was really the icing on the cake!

i was in the talon class which puts together the year book. i was in charge of the foreign students section. they were from argentina! i staged a dance party for them and of course had to put myself dancing with the guy and the girl right next to us! along with the prom picture we in the year book. there's a picture of me hanging from the football goal post acting silly in a tight skirt making an open mouthed tongue expression. laurel and hardy are on two pages next to me. (stan is my idol) i learned how to make my tongue into a four leaf clover from my science book . it said that these pictures of these people making these contorted tongues were heredity only through family. i went against the grain and taught myself how to make a real good one! little did i know i would put this down on film later! time to graduate! i did! right on! still watching "hollywood a go go" on tv all the time! couldn't watch enough!

i got my first official job working at learners dress shop. bought my own new car, a 57 ford. kept it letter perfect because of gary jacks teachings.

i went to el camino college. i wanted to be in a play. i enrolled in drama. had no time in high school. oddly enough they were having readings for the play "king john" shakespeare. i read for dr. banks the drama teacher. my goodness what a heavy undertaking this was!

knew nothing of shakespeare. i read for the part of prince arthur a twelve year old boy! believe it or not i got the part! (have i been on a roll or what?) i painted sideburns on my face. strapped down my little boobies. slapped my hair down and wore a velvet hat. wore tights. a long fancy velvet shirt, masculine fancy shoes. every night (for six weeks) had to plead on my knees begging the executioner to "please don't burn out thine eyes! " as he held a hot poker in his hand!

i also had to jump off a balcony at least 15 ft. high or more onto a mattress which was behind some phony rocks painted on wood! then i would crawl out behind them like a wounded lizard boy crying in agony "oh my weary bones! the audience were silent and listened! that made me feel good! dr. banks told me that i was a natural! so far so good.

the next thing i wanted to experience was to be in an official beauty contest on any level! i saw an advertisement in the newspaper "auditions for the new redondo beach baseball queen!" great, here i go again! i bought a classy dress suit. three inch high heels. a beautiful one piece bathing suit (like for miss america) jesus key reist! listen to this! there were only two other it girls.

89. redondo beach baseball queen cont:

believe it or not there wasn't any other contestants. so i asked tanya butts and veronica to try out! they were a couple of the other song leaders. so now i'm competing against them! what a hoot! tanya was gorgeous and veronica a natural beauty. we all showed ourselves off in all our glory! well, to get to the point i won!! they gave me my own float! a little on the rinky dinky side. i appreciated it anyway! my name was spelled out in big letters up front! tanya and veronica were put on both sides of me, i sat in a chair with a crown on! i made a perfect flip hairdo for this event! i bought a full length lime green dress, and wore long white gloves! i played it to the hilt! having a ball! some man was underneath driving us along. as we progressed down the street i was waving to no one! i couldn't wait! i wanted someone to see me! a few people started trickling around the sides of the road. god i wish i had this on film! just halarious! right out of a movie! i was embarrassed too!

so i opened up a few little league baseball games, since i was their queen. signed autographs etc. i also had a few banquet dinners with the big wigs there, i sat at the end of the long handsome table. i was always honored! they did the best they could and so did i to enhance the little leaguers! i always admired my diamond ring! jeff and i sure loved one another. couldn't keep our hands off one another!

gazzarri's nightclub jeff was busy one night. i forget how i met this guy. his name was johnny dee, the brother of joey dee and the star lighters. they had some hit records way back when. i was impressed with this information. he asked me if i would like to go dancing at gazzarri's nightclub on la cieniga. i accepted of course!

dancing was my world! i love to dance! i worked it out so jeff wouldn't know. not cheating that's for sure. i was just being escorted to the place where the "hollywood a go go" dancers begun! no way could i miss on this opportunity! i was up on the dancing girls watching on the show all the time for two years! there's no stopping me for this little outing! i'm a true blue spoken for fiancé of jeff bate! my mother did tell me that he was way too possive! i didn't even realize it! too in love to care!

so johnny and i drank beer. he was a perfect gentleman. i'm sitting there in a booth at gazzarri's with my mouth open! in awe! i couldn't take my eyes off observing the non stop film clips being played of the current dancers on the tv show i'd been watching at home. they were up high on the wall! "the spinners" were playing live! the ones (house band on the show!!) i got up and got to dance right in front of then, with johnny! i do not hold back! i let it rip in my heart! i was doing headrolls, the monkey and jerk real hard! my hair moves very easily. all of a sudden a photographer comes out of nowhere and starts taking photo's of me and johnny! i was wearing a black and white turtle neck shirt, and tight lemon yellow stretch pants (might have had the stirrups in them) these were in then.

this photographer said his name was julian wasser, he worked for life magazine! he said that the pictures he just took of me dancing would be in life magazine!!! i couldn't believe it!

90. hollywood a go go here we come!!!!!

not long after julian took the pictures a man walks right up to me. cute with a suit on. he said "would you like to be on my show as a dancer? my name is al burton, i'm the producer of hollywood a go go!!!!!! "i like the way your hair moves!!!!"! wow!!!!!!! he said "just come to the rehearsal hall next week and audition!! you'll be observed dancing by yourself and see how quickly you follow the gazzarri dancers themselves! oscar williams is the choreographer!" "i said of course!! i would love to!!" i was numb! was i dreaming? in a state of shock, that's what i was! then he gave me the address, phone number, day and time! for a split second i thought what if he's one of those hollywood producers that is phony! there was no way that i wasn't going to find out! this was something they make movies about!!!! back to the cracker box!! ! the greatest night of my life! thanks to johnny dee!

i told my mom. didn't tell jeff! guess what? a full page of me up close dancing with johnny came out! my tight pants, panty lines and all. he was in the background! too much!! it was black and white! i still have it!

time to audition for the show!!! i drove myself to hollywood. parked in the back of perry's rehearsal hall i was on edge. my adrenalin within me was almost uncontrollable! i walked into the appointed dance room! there was a black man who had a goofy smile. he was oscar williams the choreographer i was nervous and scared!! i looked behind him and there they were! the gazzarri dancers themselves! snickering and laughing too much as if to make me uncomfortable! these girls became part of me on tv! i knew them all by sight! from the cracker box to their rehearsal studio? unheard of! mimi machu came up to me and introduced herself! a very beautiful brunette with incredible blue eyes! made up perfectly, the 60's pointed wings at the edge of her eyes! i complimented her makeup. she said she does it herself! she sort of looked like my older sister in a strange way. she said good luck to me with the quickest cut off smile i'd ever seen. then she walked over to a tall lanky white blone haired dancer i always watched too! she giggled crazily to diane molner with cocky flaring nostrils!! they were cussing like sailors!

i've never cussed! doesn't run in my family! these were crusty hard girls, or should i say cut throat barracudas type hollywood girls. i've always heard of these kind of girls. my 1st encounter! pogey and lucille were there. they were nicer feeling to me. mimi and diane laughed at me and made me feel uncomfortable. how does one get close to these girls? you don't! they made me think i would never fit in! every man for himself!

oscar asked me to just get behind him and follow him as closely as i could with his feet and other movements. the big women on campus were dancing behind me and laughing behind my back! it was a cruel thing to do to such a sweet girl as me! i was very pretty at 16 yrs. old, who wasn't? i do believe they were envious! this can become a vicious situation (it already was). i was so green and innocent, naive, etc.

regardless, i just did the best i could to ignore their back biting snide remarks. with the iced laced laughter going on, i thought i was doing pretty darn good. i gave it all i had! stayed right with oscar the whole time! guess what? oscar said" you'll do just fine!!! jesus christ i became a gazzarri dancer right on the spot!!!!

91. hollywood a go go cont:

now i'm on board to get paid for something i love to do and get to do it on my favorite show! how i drove home i don't know! the biggest dream yet i've ever had came true! this was 1965. 18 yrs. old.

mr. al burton told me he wanted me on the show right away! wear something simple. i hadn't even rehearsed with the girls yet! he liked my vitality! i showed up in three days on a saturday. i wore black tight pedal pushers, white tennis shoes, and a white blouse with black embroidery on the front. i parked in the back of khj channel 9 studio. i walked in and down a real long hall. i was told where to find the makeup man. there he was! he looked like lon chaney. his name was otis. he was a rough & real grumpy white man.

he'd been around you could tell. he slapped on a thick base of makeup. drew black wing tipped eye liner. powdered it down & added cheek blush. i had straight medium length hair with bangs like cher! she started this craze. i walked to a sound proofed door. my heart was pounding! i opened the door to the famous garage like setting with bricks on the wall that the dancers always dance in front of. there were big studio overhead lights hanging from the ceiling. all the dancers were just getting up on the shelf. they all seemed bored and aloof spoiled and conceited.

then i noticed one redhead who looked at me and waved with a big smile to me. she looked like marilyn monroe! she made me feel comfortable, i waved back. her name was dale vann! she told me her mother was margo vann a well known photographer for headshots much needed for aspiring actors. i met lucille who was another blond dancer that looked like a surfer girl.

then there was gwen selvage. gorgous knock down drag out beauty. a sharon tate lookalike. in fact she was sharon tate's stand in for her movies. i decided right then and there to try and get to know her. i felt i was suppose to. instincts. she was unusually sweet. little did i know she would become my best friend for life!

there were boxes and ladders placed here and there with people sitting on them and standing in the middle open dance floor. these were the stand in visiting dancing couples. this was like the twilight zone, me being in here with all these people!

then in walks al burton knowing i'm ready to be placed somewhere. he said "put june up front on a box! he said "hello june, you feel okay? he was making me feel comfortable and gave me a little pep talk. like remember use your hair a lot! i could tell i was his newest favorite dancer. he left to where all the monitors were to observe all angles in another room.

then this huge, tall bald headed man walks up to me and says "i'm so & so (name escapes me) he looked like james arness in the movie "the thing". he was the thing in a suit! he had a long wide smile! he drank six packs of coca cola! he told me to just start dancing when you hear the music! work your hair a lot! i got to adlib and dance real hard on a small box with a camera on me the whole time. they had a couple of cameras. i almost fell off a couple of times. i had never done this before! i told myself "give it all ya got! i want to stand out like a sore thumb. don't hold back now! i wanted to be remembered. i did head rolls and everything else! movements i made up too! when the red light went on, on top of the camera, i knew they were filming me! i loved every second of this!! this went on for 8 hours off & on!

92. more hollywood a go go

sam riddle was the host of the show. looked like a cute handsome little boy. he would interview all the single artists and known groups before they lip synced their songs. was never done if live! the rolling stones doing "satisfaction" a monster of a song! thought i'd explode dancing close to them with my favorite group and song! what a rush! james brown singing pa pa's gotta brand new bag! he had the biggest pompadour hairdo going! his little shinny feet sure moved in a blur! aretha franklin (only 19 yrs. old) , thin and pretty. her voice was huge for her size! everyone but "the beatles were on this show. the challengers were a surf group whom were on the show every two weeks. ed the lead singer, handsome blond, large ego didn't like the grumpy makeup man. (don otis was his name) ed called him mother otis because he said he was gay and real picky. now i understood why he was like that. he wasn't a swishy one though. the sinners indeed were filling in before commercial breaks. the ones i danced to at gazzarri's. that was the first filming for me on this show!

i had to drive all the way home to manhattan beach burnt to a crisp! too happy and tired to sleep! jeff knew i tried out for the show. he didn't know i was already onboard and being paid. i told jeff "i'm a gazzarri dancer now!" he said "i don't approve of this at all!" i said to myself "there's no way in hells kitchen that i would ever miss out on this opportunity! " i gave myself to the show period!

i had to let him go but i didn't give him back the ring yet. i continued to go out dancing at gazzarri's club. bill gazzarri which i did not mention, was always there. he's the first one i met on that exciting night. he actually is the one who introduced himself to me first (the owner right?) and he pretty much explained how the dancers were discovered here & pointed out the films and explained it all. this should be added to 1st. encounter of the club. he was a sweet man. looked like a mafia member, pocked marked face, suit & hat.

i went here all the time, even during rehearsal for the show. one night i was dancing to the song "who wants to buy this diamond ring" holding my hand up high showing my ring and smiling very happily! (how immature, i was young). i was a free tv dancing bird! i gave back the ring.

hawaii jan & dean encounter we rehearsed for "the hawaii show" us dancers put together at least 8 different shows. always at perry's rehearsal hall. it was called hawaii a go go! on the plane, i met jan and dean torrance. we stayed at the "royal hawaiian hotel". jan was too good looking. a blonde elvis presley! dean? was a cute surfer boy tallest one i've ever seen. his hair was almost white. great smile, really funny, a little too spoiled. i can say this because i was not spoiled and worked for everything i achieved. my family was not well to do, but boy were they popular, just as i am now. runs in the family. the hip, cool, classy, talented ones. that's the wilsons! (i should stop bragging, i'm so proud of them)

93. hawaii a go go cont:

we filmed in the sand that was blistering hot! this beach front was beautiful, right in front of the hotel. we got sunburned.

we filmed another segment at an authentic small hawaiian village. a big tourist attraction indeed. i was dancing in a tree sitting on the big trunk waving my arms and head (head rolls too) you have to be careful especially as hard as i danced.

we took a break. i took a walk around the village checking it out, shopping etc. had money, i made about $250. 00 a week. good money then. i was real tired, worked 6 hours by now, needed to rest. i noticed a cot in front of a grass hut. i thought, i'm sure they won't mind if i just lie down for a minute. so i did. i fell right through to the ground!! it was a gauzy thick cotton like material. it ripped completely in half!! all of a sudden a hawaiian women came out of the hut! in her moo moo dress she yelled "what are you doing?"!!! her arms up in the air she says "that's our four hundred year old heirloom!!!! " i got up and ran real fast around this small village, she was actually right behind me, i like a rhino in heat!!! was looking for the biggest bushes to hide, ducking here and there. i'll be damned if she didn't catch up with me!! she said "you stupid nut!!!! then hit me on the forehead with the palm of her hand!!! (hard enough to tilt my head back!). she was mad as a hornet!! didn't speak much english, maybe that's a good thing! i apologized, it didn't help much! somehow i was lucky the film crew didn't see any of this! i was so horrified and embarrassed. of course i shared this with all the dancers. they cracked up! i always tried to entertain mimi and diane since i was always scarred of them. i was too easy to hurt. didn't know how to defend myself from these tough cookies. had no ammunition since i came from such a docile family that never yelled or cussed! i didn't like their mouths! filming on location was a trip! couldn't forget this one. after filming each show on saturdays 8 hrs. under hot lights! , i went to a club on santa monica (forgot name) and highland. i would dance on stage for awhile (since i was known now) i couldn't get enough dancing in my system! then back to manhattan beach just in time to watch myself on last weeks taping of the show. think about that. now i'm watching me on my dream show as one of them, still in the cracker box!!!. unreal!! i watched me living my biggest dream that came true.!

dean torrance asked me out!! dean asked me out! he came and picked me up at the cracker box! he didn't bat an eye over it! i just couldn't stop being embarrassed over the size and shape of our home! how dare me be so ungrateful. i guess it was hard leaving the 2 story beach house! dean took me first to meet his mother!, wow, i was impressed. then he told me he wanted to visit a friend of his that was recording an album! i've never been to a recording studio before! we walk in. good lord it was brian wilson of the beach boys! another unreal event! i sat on dean's knee. "sloop john b" was the song he was working on! incredible dropping drum sound. it made your chest thump with it! truly, brian was a genius at work! how lucky for me to be there! i was at the beginning stages of "pet sounds". better than "the beatles" best album ever! every song incredible.

94. the dean torrance date cont:

and jan's macabre incident! dean was a perfect gentleman so far. now he tells me we're going over to jan's house for a cocktail! the brian wilson stop was still in my head! good, i liked this idea, i could observe jan in his own domain. (didn't talk to jan in hawaii, he had his lady etc. ) jan had a huge apartment, very modern. dean introduced me to jan. extremely handsome, perfect in everyway! can't really compare him to anyone (surfer elvis looking as i said before) he had a very pretty girlfriend there with him. he offered to make us mai tai drinks umbrella and all. these were strong, went right to my feet!

out of nowhere jan says "here's my imitation of a spastic! " (cruel thing to do) then he backs up on the other side of the room and said "here's how a spastic looks when they walk! " then he walked all crocked with one arm all curled up and lopsided shoulder and one badly twisted legs across the room with a distorted look on his face and took his time doing so! i didn't find this funny, i was speechless and ashamed for him. no one should ever do such a thing, goes against god and everything else he was the devil himself! jan thought this was funny and laughed real hard after making fun negatively. jan had a huge ego and was consumed with himself. too cocky for his own britches! his fame & good looks went to his head i guess. i'm sure he didn't mean it. must have been the booze!

believe it or not long after this (here's the horrible part!) remember the hit song "dead man's curve?" jan had a tragic car accident! he became exactly what he was making fun of in his living room! think about that one!!! too much for me!!!!

alright time to finish up our date. dean never even tried to kiss me. didn't even hold my hand. no sexual advancements were made of any kind. this was fine with me because i just can't jump in bed with someone i don't know or really love their heart etc. one man at a time! i'm old fashion and still love jeff even though we split up! dean asked me if i wanted to see where he lives. of course i do! his house was on beachwood drive off franklin. on the back hollywood hill was the famous hollywood sign across the mountain. to get to his front door step you had to walk across a ramp/bridge with water under it. it was a mote. it was like a castle hidden away! you walk inside there were pinball machines, neon signs here and there. very rustic and warm. like right out of a movie or disneyland! i thought to myself how lucky dean is to live in such a beautiful funhouse like house! i'd love to live in place like this! i'm in a cracker box! i didn't know it but dean planned for me to spend the night, since it was getting late oh no! was he going to jump on me! i was a little nervous!

he brought me a pair of pajama's of his. he had a pair on too! this made me relax! i love flannel pajamas! we got into bed. he opened the window above our heads. very polite and protective. there were three pillows lined up. he turns the top light off. a small lamp that looked like it belonged to a hobbit was on. then dean says " oh wait a minute, i forgot something!" he gets up, comes back with a woman's hairdryer hood and all, places it on the middle pillow. turns it on! "i need this to sleep!" (what's this? i think?) a loud hummmmmmmmmmmm between our heads! i need quiet, he doesn't. oh well! night, night!! to each his own. this my 1st famous person date. i was glad to get back home so i could rest!

95. moving back to hollywood

my father told my mother he wanted a divorce! out of the blue! this crushed her! they had been married for 23 years. he fell for a heavy set nurse, her name was mary. dad gave my mom half his social security for the rest of her life. that was it!

i said "mom why don't we move to hollywood? the driving i've been doing for all the rehearsals for the show was too much! i think we're all through here". she liked hollywood, i was born there. off we went!

i found a place on holly drive and franklin blvd. two story duplex. roomy two bedroom. i paid half the rent. i joined aftra union for filming on tv. that is why i was paid so well, $250. 00 as mentioned before was good money in the 60's!

in between rehearsals at khj, i'd talk to all the different artists. gene clark (tamborine man of "the birds") caught my eye. he had charisma! handsome rock & roll pirate, that's what he was to me! started dating him. we stuck together for a few months. strictly platonic. i just enjoyed sitting in motel rooms, listening to him develop lyrics for new songs on the guitar. he didn't just play the tambourine as he did for most of the byrds live performances! he seemed so far away sitting next to him. unreachable. a heavy character involved in his music. he wasn't big on long conversations.

he took me out to the "hollywood bowl" to a concert, i forget who. i had not partaken in any pot smoking or drugs yet, gene liked pot and alcohol. i liked alcohol of course. being with gene we just walked backstage and got in, no problem. boy, the groupies went nuts over gene as we walked by them! they recognized me too, since i was always dancing in their living rooms! how cool huh? i have a picture of this moment, check it out! kim fowley's words of wisdom!!!!

one evening, out on the town, across from ben franks on sunset blvd. was a very popular nightclub "the trip". us dancers after filming, would always drop in to dance some more! everyone loved it when we showed up!

i met a very tall lanky man named kim fowley. he was with a buddy of his, rodney bingenheimer. rodney was known as the mayor of sunset strip! kim was into producing off the wall groups. his skin was lily white. he wore neck scarves. he was extremely smart about the hip hollywood scene, the underground scene especially! i went to kim's apt. often just to observe him and learn period. he made me laugh and i cracked him up. he was attracted to me i could tell, but i can't just jump between the sheets for kicks! no way! too eccentric and from another planet! i loved his brains and laugh! kim mentioned to me that this coming saturday, a guy named danny hutton is going to be performing his hit song "roses and rainbows" it was #5 on the charts in billboard magazine. i read this all the time! when a hit song jumps on the chart with a bullet that means it's moving up towards #1 the ultimate for any musical artist or group! anyway kim said that he thought we would be perfect together! i asked him "what in the heck do i say to him?" he said "tell him kim fowley says. surf, hype, and grease!!"

96. danny hutton encounter!!!

what to sell on ebay to make money
saturday came, it's show time!! we just finished dancing and taping a song. i was relaxing behind the cameras during the next set up. a handsome man walks in the studio. he had a mustache. a not too long dark brown hair parted on the side. he was wearing a brown tweed jacket, jeans and dark brown leather sandals, no socks. i thought "oh how cute and refreshing". then it dawned on me, could this be danny hutton? (i knew without knowing). i walked over to him and asked "is your name danny hutton?" yes i am" he replied. i was nervous, but managed to squeeze out" that kim fowley said for me to tell you, surf, hype, and grease!". he loved hearing this and laughed. (beautiful white teeth, hazel eyes) our eyes locked, and i'm not kidding, instant attraction!! i have never felt like this before! (this beats gary and jeff together!) he's irish! thin fingers like a pianist! hell! i even liked the shape of his toes! he was the first singer to make sandals his trademark.

by the time the show was almost done being taped we were holding hands, a little on camera even, because at the end of every show everyone (the performing stars) would cluster all together on the back shelf) we couldn't help it or could care less what people thought!

i was excited from head toe! love at first sight! danny asked me if i would like to meet him at "the trip nightclub" (hottest club in town) i accepted of course! us gazzarri dancers performed there by tearing up the dance floor when we felt like it. all kind of colorable people were there on a regular basis. elmer valentine (owner of "the whiskey a go go") the other happening night club. he liked to observe. bill gazzarri, as you know the owner of gazzarri's nightclub the smallest in size hip spot! (my favorite!)

the g.t.o"s the most wild pirate looking girls, who were always in demand for album covers and private parties etc. just because of the way they looked. pamela des barres was the cutest one out of the bunch! looked like an american china doll with her white makeup and perfectly drawn cupie doll lips. i liked watching her and the way she moved around innocently in a daze! she was a professional groupie. she was one for danny, along with any other happening rock and roller!

"the seeds", "buffalo springfield" (nell young & steven stills group), "loving spoonful" performing their hits, van dyke parks would sit in and sing along etc. berry maguire "eve of destruction" hit song (love that one, hell all the songs were fantastic and original new sounds) i would always jump up and dance with him when he would come down off the stage! he reminded me of walace berry the actor. of course "the byrds" were. frank zappa. iggy pop. sonny and cher! let's throw in tiny tim & gypsy boots. i created a new dance on the show. "the statue dance" every 8 beats you pause in different positions with different facial expressions. people started to do my dance at the trip since they saw it on television, it was fun to do and creative improve for yourself! (i'm a leader) would always jump up on stage and dance in front of any group that performed when i was in the mood. i could never dance enough!

97. danny shows up at the trip

there he was wearing the same tweed jacket he wore on the show. i had been there for an hour and a half making the best of it. i went right up to him and said hello. he was happy to see me i could tell. i was overly excited, overwhelmed with attraction! the touch of his hand in mine felt perfect as i took him to the dance floor. i was dancing with my prince! i knew it! i was dancing on air. i don't remember what the song was, or who was playing. it was a slow one, it didn't matter.

we sat down together, had a drink and began to get to know each other slow but sure. i do believe words get in the way at a moment like this. we didn't need many words! i told danny where i lived, with my mother, and gave him my phone #. that was our first get together. off he went!

i couldn't decide what i should do with the last remaining part of after hours approaching. should i go in my little brand new alpine convertible (monthly payments) to all the stops, ben franks across the street, fred c dobbs down the street. the pancake house on sunset for some french toast, or good old canters jewish deli restaurant where everyone is loaded to the gills (24 hour hangout). everyone is on acid! i've never partaken in any drugs or planned on it. people were higher then a giraffe's ass on everything!!

now i remember who was playing when danny and i met dancing, (slap my wrist) it was "the byrds" and a fill in group. i walked outside when the club closed.

phil spector encounter (a regular type of guy, i don't think so) so i'm watching and talking to all of these colorful people. tiny tim was sweet in his vest that was too small and bow tie and long scraggily hair and white makeup, holding his little ukulele in hand. he was loaded with energy and a spirit brighter than mine. happy as can be!

then michael clark (byrd's drummer) a living doll! blond hair sweeping to one side. he was shy. like a little boy! so we're talking about what's up? then a long black limo pulls up front close to us. phil spector was in it! mike and i walked up to say hello to this legendary record producer. the "supremes" were his assignment along with "tina turner" i spoke for mike and i told mr. spector "mike is the drummer for the byrds and i'm one of the gazzarri dancers, we just had to meet you, what a pleasure! "

he said "well likewise" "would you like to come over to my house and party?" (i was in shock) "sure, why not! " what's your address?"

mr. spector says "jump in, i'll take you". we jumped right in and i sat next to him! he was in all black with a long black scarf around his neck, it became dead silent. no music was playing, no words were spoken. he didn't even look at us hardly. i tried to break the ice of too long of quiet, and said "this should be fun, are you recording a lot" "yes" that's all he said! no feed back hardly at all! mike and i just began to grin and bear it! it seemed to take forever to get there! thank god we pulled up to some huge wrought iron gates! we made it! we step out and you had to look up to see how high up this enormous dark old stone mansion was! it was out of frankenstein or something! we come up to a big old wood and iron door.

98. danny hutton knocks

driving around running errands "roses & rainbows" always came on the radio! it was a hit: since i met him, i would fantasize that he was singing to me! "if i were a king i'd give up everything, just to have you near me, cause roses and rainbows are you!" good simple lyrics, old fashion now, who cares i'm still old fashion. i light up inside every time i heard his great voice! i loved the quality of his voice.

i heard a knock at my door. i opened it. it was danny! out of nowhere there he was! he had a huge grin on his face and a crazy twinkle in his eye! his nostrils were flared! he had a long stemed rose in his hand. he handed it to me and said "i picked it myself". how sweet! i invited him in. i introduced him to my mother. she liked him right away! "he asked me if i'd like to take a drive ? of course i did!

i couldn't believe his car! never saw anything like it before. looked like a donald duck car! it was a 1953 citron. one of those french police cars you see in old movies now and then. the gear shift was on the dash. seats were red, car was black. the front grill went to a ‘v'. it had front wheel drive. we got in and he immediately started turning a black knob under the front window and the window opened up and out from the bottom. far out!

we drove up into the hollywood hills. he said why don't you sit a little closer to me, i won't bite! no problem. my gum was starting to get old so i was about to throw it out the window. he stopped me and said "hold on" and then he stuck it on the top of the dash! i loved that, how sweet a unique thing to do. he didn't even want to lose my gum! i started to tingle inside just with that move of his! he pulled over on mullhulland dr. he looked at me in a mesmerizing way and kissed me! we kissed beautifully together. it was in his kiss for real! we were perfect together. kim fowley was right! i asked danny what is this extra glow about you? just being with you. i did drop some acid earlier. it lasts about eight hours, that might be it too! "oh, your kidding! how can you drive on a hallucinogenic? "oh" he said i take it all the time, i'm use to it, i love dropping window pane, it's the best!!! i was a little frightened to hear this! of course everyone was taking this since the hippy movement was just kicking in big time! he reassured me not to worry and just relax, i'm fine. i still remained uneasy since i've never been around anyone on this stuff! i managed to keep my cool! falling in love kissing my prince on acid was certainly different! i'm naive, immature and never have taken any drug! obviously he was on another planet! i'm glad i wasn't!!! i took out another piece of gum after that. he said now i'd like for you to meet my parents, off we went. around gower and franklin up in the hills, we park out front. again he wouldn't let me toss my gum and stacked it on the first one. this became a ritual every time and it became a tall stack of gum. when it got hot it began to melt and he had to remove it as time went by.

we walk in the hansel and gretel type house. there she was kathleen! full blown irish. red hair and freckles. looked a little like mrs. doubtfire! danny introduces us "oh hello dear, nice to meet you". then her eyes went straight to danny and never gave me much eye contact at all! she was obsessed with danny, no doubt about it. loved him a little too much! shall we say domineering! yes! big time! too obvious to overlook! she had a great loud laugh! i liked her right away but i knew i was in for it!

99. if youre with danny, kathleen goes along with the package!

in walks dan sr. an older version of danny. a wonderful crusty old irishman. we got along instantly. he made me laugh! he made excellent irish stew! he would say "hep there" everytime he'd enter the room. i loved him right away!

danny still lived at home. he was 25 at this point, i was 19 or so. he took me up to the attic! my eyes bugged out! the walls were flaming red. fire engine red! what a trip! this is where he wrote "roses and rainbows"

we started kissing again and before you knew it we just took off our clothes and started to make love. we rolled back and forth so our bodies could feel each other, it was hot! more kissing. he then entered me and it did not take but a minute or two and i climaxed! our chemistry was hot. we had very little foreplay. it was simply beautiful! he played a song i had never heard before, sang it just for me! i was painfully shy to hardly enjoy it, that's what happens with such a late bloomer as i.

i soaked him up like a sponge, enjoyed every drop of him. he never even touched my breasts at this point. didn't even know they worked and do play an important part of love making. gary and jeff didn't seem to know this either. danny didn't either. what ya don't know doesn't really matter when everything was naturally meant to be. we were right for one another.

hollywood a go go coming to an end. i kept performing on hollywood a go go for the last year it was on the air. the producer al burton favored me. he surprised me by giving me a press pass to leave the studio early one day. he said "you'll catch a plane to shea stadium to interview "the beatles"!! "you will present yourself as one of the many press agents! this was a complete surprise! why not the other dancers? odd, i thought. i went anyway and showed up just in time to see the beatles getting up from an outside table. i was five feet from them. they had to go and get ready to perform! now, this was an intense situation for me and frustrating at the same time. i didn't get to ask them any questions! oh well, it still was an exhilarating event!

al also had the "teenage fair" going at the same time as the show. he then wanted me to wear a bikini and sit in the water booth and let the public pay to try and knock me off my seat and make me fall in the water! they would win a prize etc.

al then took photographs of me. some in a big tree and all kinds of different nice poses in cute short outfits etc. he actually came over to my house to show me the proof sheets from our shoot. he met my mother and everything. he's such a sweet man. i showed him my room and he met my dog ollie! he was wondering why i kept rubbing my leg. i told him i've overworked my muscles. he then said relax i'll massage them and make them feel better. he actually gave me a brief on the up and up massage that indeed took the pain away, no bull! he was a perfect gentleman. talk about class. he was almost regal to me! i'll never forget al. i called him big al. he was and still is one of the big shots in the business to this day!

100. filming the last show of hollywood a go go

danny was always recording new songs. i was always busy rehearsing for each show as usual. well this show was extra special, it was the last time we would dance as "the gazzarri dancers on this popular show! not too much fun being made up for the last time for the cameras. we were nationwide and it just didn't seem right to end now! all good things come to an end!!

al burton had left a few months before and a man named milt hoffman took over producing.

the byrds were on again. i loved them so that made me happy! freddie cannon "pallisades park" his hit song. james darren the incredibly handsome actor in the movie "gidget" i had a crush on him since pier ave. jr. high. i had him on my bedroom wall!! now i'm working along with him and dancing near him. got to talk to him! too good to be true!! he sang a song, had a good voice, but the melody didn't cut the mustard, who cares, it was him!

so grumpy don otis slapped on more makeup for the last time. i was finishing getting dressed in the ladies restroom. i was zipping up my mini skirt, there's a knock on the door, it was a david crosby surprise!!

david crosby! he was wearing his brown leather cape. i asked him what he was doing in here! "i followed you to give you a special treat" i wanted to know what it was, he said " hashish!". i've never had any of this i told him. "just have a little it will make you enjoy dancing even more!" i knew he wouldn't let up, so i went ahead against my better judgment. it was just a little piece in a real little pipe. i took a small hit. david said "take another one it won't hurt you" okay, that's enough. he took big puffs! then i felt like i was losing ground! it completely consumed me! i had to walk into the studio now! i held my head up as my heart was racing. i walked straight to the back shelf and sat down with my head on my lap to regroup! it was coming on stronger! it was time to get into position for a brand new routine. do i remember it? stay away from the camera as much as i could throughout most of the show. we danced to "turn, turn, turn" the byrds latest hit! i was right next to them adlibbing and getting away with it.

then i have a closeup dancing in front of bob lind singing "elusive butterfly" i pulled it off. i was in another place where i felt like i was dancing through syrup! i got through most of the show.

freddie cannon yells out to me and says "hey june, go ahead and cut loose! it's okay to do whatever you girls want, forget the routines!" i'm on the back shelf now. i had on a real short mini skirt. i got a wacky idea to do somersaults as soon as music started. i didn't even notice there was a camera positioned at the end of the shelf. i was high. i went back and forth (i was alone on the shelf just for close ups, had no idea) i was giving beaver shots straight into the camera! then the music stopped and a loud voice cameover the speaker in the studio "what the hell is going on" then milt hoffman stormed right up to me and said "you will never work for khj again!! this hurt! i was so ashamed and embarassed! freddie had fun directing for himself and got me in trouble! then again this was the last show!! i was higher than a giraffe's ass! what a way to go out! i wish i never smoked that hash. it was too much for me, and wrong timing!!

101. danny and i move in together - poisoned shortly thereafter!!!

i called my mother from our new given apt. i had the flu. danny & i just had to be together. i told her "mom i'm living with danny now!!". she was floored!

tim, danny's best friend owned this apt. building on magnolia in valley village. too much in love were we! we didn't live there very long. it was free rent too! then we moved over to laurel canyon. up these twisted little streets you get to weepah. a quaint rustic wood and brick single tucked into these trees, had a fireplace, wet bar, real cozy! the drugs never ceased one way or another! it was the in thing to do especially experiment! danny did tell me he took acid at least 8 times or more. me? heck no! i'm a ninny to try all the variety of drugs floating in everyone's pockets and purses! you are suppose to be a guinea pig to be in!! that was the craze as everyone knows in the 60's.

it was 1966 now! right on!! danny wanted me to take some acid, he said it would help me find out who i am!! i said no thanks quite a few times since he just wouldn't let up! since i loved him so, you either join him or leave him. i gave in.

first time taking acid!! he told me to lie down on the floor. he then put two speakers on both sides of my head! he had popped the window pane in my mouth about thirty minutes ago! then he puts on "the beat song" float down stream" i felt like i had a generator inside my stomach! a speedy rush in my system! right away, it was negative to me. i felt like i was loosing control of my brain! this is not good! then danny started to look like a werewolf! i was stuck with him staring at me in my face! i was hallucinating big-time! then he made me get up. just getting up was unreal! i was hallucinating big-time! then he made me get up. just getting up was unreal! there was no way i could get off this ride! it lasts for 8 hours? forget it! danny walked me to the bathroom, he had a stool sitting there, he sat me on it. then he said!! now i'm going to leave you in here for a while so you can get to know yourself" i was facing our big mirror staring at myself! i had no idea how to hold on to myself! who was i? i became a stranger to me! now i've lost myself! this was not helping me find anything! it became a mental bad & brief moments good funhouse. danny was all i had to ground myself! i do believe this was not such a good idea! in fact i think to give a person acid and throw in front of a mirror, as insecure as i was and immature i was not a good guinea pig at all. i was just glad to finally come down from this stuff! i was flipping out! i couldn't even let him know, since i wanted him to think i was strong enough to handle it. this made tripping even worse!! no more!! still loved him dearly still anyway!!

belladonna came next!! yes, some how one afternoon danny and i were given a new pill to try! belladonna! had no idea what it was! we took it! i started to see dark shadows out of nowhere! then i asked danny if he would just lay on the bed with me and let me just hold him. of course he did. so we're spoon style. i had my eyes closed for about 15 minutes. i opened my eyes and there was over 100 black spiders all over danny's back!!! i screamed and jumped up!! way too much for me!! never again! hell, i couldn't even handle pot!
never again! hell, i couldn't even handle pot!

102. more drugs continued..

have you ever taken a pill thinking it's okay and then realize you've just been poisoned? i did!!!

danny walks in and says "hey, i bought some mescaline from this bald black women down below us she said this is the finest!! here we go again, i didn't like joining in with danny's psychedelic high's. i could barely handle cocaine! i'm hyper to begin with! danny says, "i got some for timmy too, so lets take a ride to his house and drop it!! good old junie says "far out". off we went.

tinny is a handsome thin man with piercing turquoise eyes. he had a mullet haircut (bangs swept to the left and shoulder length. timmy had a horrible accident in his late teens. he went to the beach and decided to jump off the pier and dive into the ocean that way. he jumped and missed the water and broke his neck. he walks! he gets around just fine! one foot a little turned in and the tips of his fingers are turned under with flat palms. i have never met a more beautiful soul in my life! he had the greatest smile. he cracked me up all the tine! i made him laugh too.

we all drop this bitchen mescaline!!! we are all sitting around waiting to take a joy ride mentally. nothing yet!! then all of a sudden my heart started to beat faster! so did tim's and danny's. we were in unison. then my eyes were getting real weird! they felt like they wanted to throw up!! then my body got stiff and i felt like a piece of electricity!!! my brain wasn't functioning at all!! then my heart was slapping out of my chest real hard!! i started to cry in panic! timmy said "what is this stuff?!! " danny said "i don't know!! " then these sensations would stop for five minutes so you get a break, then it would start again!! all i know is that i became a piece of electricity with my eyes wanting to throw up and a hellish jumping heart! this went on every 5 minutes for 6 or 8 hours!! we thought we were going to die!!! we realized we were poisoned!!! we found out it was strychnine!!! this is an incident of hell i'll never forget! i made myself remember just exactly how i felt then so i could share this to others to ware them. we should have died!! no bullshit!!!!

to hell with all this guinea pig business!! it's not where it's at!!! and it doesn't make you hip either!!!!!

if i wasn't so in love i know 1 would have never taken any psyche drugs!!! coke, speed, downers, etc. were not good for you either, i could adjust to them like it or not! i could never handle pot either and if you didn't take a toke when being passed you were not with it!! i got paranoid on it and didn't like being elevated into the clouds!! too much for me. i'm high naturally! drinking? no problem!!!!!! i dressed the part of a hippy, flower child, but was never really one of them! i observed instead and never was into free love!! love in's we went to. never participated in orgies either! no thanks, not for me!! danny and i never missed out on any event or happening movie to see at "the nuart theater on santa monica. after all danny and i were an item. we were a very popular couple. i'd always drove his citroen with my dog ollie sitting in the front seat wearing a black bow tie. i was pretty with my straight hair with the cher bangs. people would gawk at me where ever i would go! danny was always recording and the girls went nuts for him too! i drew a black ring on ollie's eye, he was cute with his chest sticking out next to me.

103. playboy after dark!!

she was a bunny at the . club after the gazzarri dancers were finished, gwen selvage, my girlfriend, became a dancer on "playboy after dark" hugh hefner's party variety show, i asked gwen if it was possible for me to get on it. she said, "of course" oh boy! here i go again!! gwen introduced me to andy woodward, also a dancer on it. he was a hoot! real cute, tall brunette flowing hair. he was a flaming fagot and proud of it!! they took me to the playboy offices on sunset close to "the trip". i met jonie matis. she hired me!

i walk into kttv studio to start work again, and there's gwen beautifully made up and just gorgeous as usual. i walked up to her all excited and said "we get to dance together again on tv yeah!!!! we were jumping up and down! i met tina turner. she was warm and sweet. she let me grab her thigh to see how firm it was. it was hard as a rock!! this show was sophisticated, classy stars on different levels, they were interviewed by hef (nickname) in a plush penthouse atmosphere. everyone is drinking champagne for real. when a star performed we would dance just like at a real party. very easy gig, i must say!

i will be honest as usual and tell you how i blew the real champagne on the show! i had too much, i was on the stairs doing head rolls!! this was not hollywood a go go!! it was too much and hef said "there will be ginger ale from now on "everyone was disappointed thinking he was too harsh and i was stupid to blow it for them! oh well. big deal!!

i used to have lots of fun with andy! he would tell me stories about his john's. he was with liberace many times! he spoke of his gorgeous home etc. yes, he would give him money. andy didn't mind at all. he would brag all the time before going to pay liberace a visit again. he would feel proud for a while. he would go into a deep depression. being used for sex and no strings attached can get to you. he wanted to be really loved by someone. andy knew his parents didn't like knowing he was gay at all! especially his father! brought him to tears very easily when i would probe to help him. i was nosey too, wanted to know what made gay men tick. they weren't out of any closets in the 60's! i actually wanted to straighten him out! impossible endeavor. andy was searching for love like everyone else.

he brought lindsey wagner over to visit. she had small speaking parts on playboy after dark. she had a beautiful voice and was a good woman. we shared the dressing room once to change dresses for the show. .

andy always said "really darling!'" like betty davis or something. i miss him..

danced on this show for one year until the end. i continued to go to the playboy mansion any old time i felt like it.

danny declined as a single artist. he was running out of funds so my money would help us get through.

i would walk up the top of the hill to a small cabin. guess who lived there? neil young. he and his cat. this was the time he was dealing with his seizures. he had it under control. danny was so engrossed with writing lyrics etc. i'd give him plenty of space and just visit the neighbors. always true blue.

104. neil young continued..

neil showed me a royalty statement of 0! he was pissed off! this was in regards to his group "the buffalo springfield". charlie green and brian stone ripped him off financially. their songs were always on the radio! they are to receive good substantial payments for their hits etc! bummer! neil was a sweet soft spoken man of few words! you could hear him load and clear over this. charlie and brian were the business managers for sonny and cher. they did the same to them! crooked liars!

danny was friends with neil! we would go up to laurel canyon blvd. and get loaded on the current pot "ice pack! " this was way too potent! neil had a secret backup band he would rehearse in the garage below danny whittens, billy, and baby john hang out. these were his musicians (can't remember all of them). this was a whole new sound! raw rock and roll garage music. they called themselves "the rockets" believe me everyone that was anyone would drop in and hang, get high and listen to these cool rehearsals! i should say mind blowing!

this ice pack was too much for me! i smoked just a little and walked into the kitchen. next thing i knew i was on the floor under the sink with neil, danny, timmy alvarado staring at me. i fainted. keeping up with this crew was hard for me to do! i felt like a fool. poor danny's old lady was always getting sideways and not handling it too well! i was only 20. keeping up with the 60's getting high around the clock was tough! i have other dreams i needed to fulfill! they had their music and i had my wanting to be an actress!

danny whitten died on heroin! he was an incredible songwriter. this blew away neil and his cronies. you see, this back up band changed their name to "crazy horse?!" yes! them! danny whitten was one of them! but not for long!

i want to be an actress ml! i saved some money so i could have some beautiful pictures taken. i was at schwab's drugstore on sunset. yes, the famous one! was reading billboard and variety of course, like everyone else! i exchanged a few words to this new york looking man. he said he was a photographer. his name was vince conte. he gave me his card. i found out he was one of the finest! we did a shoot! black and whites, 11x14's! they were all good ones! he really captured me. had a beautiful portfolio of 25 different looks, outfits etc. i asked around, who is the biggest acting agent today! i was told g.a.c. general artists corporation. was fresh as a daisy! drove over to wilshire blvd. in "andre", danny's citroen. that was it's nickname.

i walked in, went up the elevator to the third floor. i went up to the first secretary i saw and said" i would like to see the president. hadn't any appt.! for some reason they led me right over to his office! i waited outside his office. i'm full of piss and vinegar. i'm ready to get what i want! didn't wait long. this well dressed, older man, a little heavy set opened the door! with a big grin said "hello! come in". "my name is max arno!" "my name is june wilson, i've been a dancer on tv for two years! " "is that right?" he liked me i could tell! i told him i wanted to become an actress now! " "really?" "well, i'll tell you what, take this scene & bring it back in one hour, i will read it with you".

105. gac agency cont.

gac agency cont.

i walked out of the office, scene in hand. walked outside and sat in andre. i thought to myself, it's either a comedy part, dramatic part, or a love scene. as i started to go over it i wasn't amazed to find that it was indeed a love scene! well now, how cozy for him!" i could just feel max couldn't wait for me to return! here was my plan of attack. i decided when i get to the line "i love you" to make sure and say this very convincingly to good old max. don't get me wrong, i'm not a cheap girl. i'm in love and old fashion, you know that by now. time to act with max! i get to his office, the secretary's on the phone. i wait. the door opens and in i went. he didn't leave it open, that's for sure. i was wearing a pink white pinstriped dress shirt, lace around the hem, just above my knees. my hip silver thick heeled high heels were very flattering with my pretty dancer legs. like i said, fresh as a daisy. max asked "are you ready?" yes, said i. we were standing and facing one another. he said, "as you can see this is a love scene?" "yes" he told me to relax and go with the flow.

max begins "i've been worried about you. calling everyone, thinking you had left me! the last thing i want to do is lose you! tell me i'm wrong! tell me something, anything to make me feel alright again!" my turn. "i'm sorry darling i was a bit confused to find out in my heart that i really am deeply in love with you! " (then i laid it on) "i love you, i love you!" then i kiss him. not sloppy or anything a closed lipped one. he started shaking! (i got scared) then i pulled away and walked around his desk and he followed me! then it became a chasing me around the desk scene for real! i had to take charge and not let this continue! i took him by the hand and sat him down and told him to calm down! i asked him "are you going to be my new agent?" he said "yes, we are your new agency and we will represent you! you did a fine job reading" i was so excited! he told his secretary to bring in the contracts! " this (here we go again) right out of a movie! he them said "look it over and sign on the dotted line! i did it!! i was lucky he didn't act worse. a gentlemen when i got to the car, i turned on the radio. "reach out" by the four tops came on! the music was meant to be, very enthusiastic and so was i! i drove straight home to danny! told him the accomplishment i had made. he was happy for me! he wasn't happy with his position at the moment. he was looking for a new comeback for himself!

106. my first official audition

that gac sent me up for!!!! jack gilardi (anette funichello's husband) secretary called me and gave me all needed info to audition for a dream sequence on "the dick cavett show". since indeed, dancing credits is all i had on my resume. dancers were being looked at for this.

i walked in. these were studied ballet dancers! i had never had any ballet lessons. oh well, lets see what happens, barrie chase was one of the girls. very pretty and admired professionally. it was uncomfortable and felt maybe i couldn't cut the mustard. afraid of the unknown jitters.

i walked in david wolper's office. wolper productions! top of the line company. there were a couple of men. i was first introduced to a young man named william friedkin. nice smile, dark short hair etc. then i was introduced to bud yorkin. tall and nice looking. these men made you feel comfortable. they asked me of my credits. i told them of my two tv dance shows, i also told them i have never taken any dance lessons. i just felt music deep in my heart and love dancing more than anything. i do believe i moved around a little for them so they could watch my hair flow! they whispered to each other. then bill friedkin said "you'll be just fine!". i think they just like my looks. who knows, i was hired! bill told me, he was doing bud yorkin a favor and would be directing me at the beach.

oddly enough i would be running down a long hall in slow motion with a gauzy veil like scarves flowing with me. bob lind song "elusive butterfly" (the one i danced up close on hollywood a go go). i'm a butterfly women in this dream sequence. we started shooting. i ran as best as i could. bill said "hold it". you look like a jewish woman running in the sand" i didn't quite get it, i just laughed it off! he told the makeup woman to get the dance teacher. she would show me how to run gracefully. what a difference! heck i can do it today. i'm 60 yrs. old now and still remember, bill did tell me you have the perfect face and body for this. we only had to show you how to run correctly! i was so relieved and happy. i have lost my copy of this since i loaned it to tommy boyce (writer for the monkees) and he never returned it. i know there is a copy somewhere in walpor productions, archives/film library. i want to have it again, it was so beautifully done and in color. it's only as long as the song. i must obtain another copy! i got wind that william friedkin was an up and coming director!

danny and i met with bill friedkin for lunch at schwab's. then he drove us up into the hollywood hills to jog a little, we did.

i had given bill my phone # of course in case something else might pop up and would want to use me for something else. bill called again about two weeks later.

107. william friedkin - movie audition!!!

so bill cane and took me for a drive. he said he wanted to talk to me. danny was busy writing and recording.

we are driving towards beverly hills. he started to say "do you know that when you hit the age of 26 you'll be washed up?" "what? are you serious?" "yep" he said and i was only 20 now. he was making a point, to go for it now, before it's too late! jesus! this little talk was very serious. then he tells me "there is a co-starring part at paramount pictures. "gunn" starring craig stevens. he had his tv series going "peter gunn" they wanted to make a big feature film version! bill said "you would be perfect for this particular part". "i'm going to direct it" i would like for you to read for it". i respond "i have never acted before, other than a 12 year old boy in "king john". he said "that's fine". "you'll have fun!" be there tomorrow at 10:00 am. i'll meet you there! right on! this whole thing was just too, too, much!! but i agreed and was almost ejecting myself out of my seat!

then we pull into a very nice driveway bill said i'm just making a quick pit stop to see my mother, i'd like for you to meet her! holy moly, now i'm meeting his mother! we walked in this old gorgeous one story home, antiques everywhere etc. . she wasn't there. then he drives me back to laurel canyon, puts a pile of fat novels on my lap! he said "read! you must read all the time! it's very important! get all the knowledge you can! grow and learn all you can! the more you know the better of an actress you'll become! "okay, thanks so much! can't wait for my first big movie audition" (i was really in the clouds now! ) he drives off as i'm standing there in a daze holding all these books! i ran up the stairs to danny to report all this! i didn't sleep much that night that's for sure!

paramount studios -10:00 am i dressed casual. i'm right on time. never been inside this famous studio, only saw the name and picture of a woman holding a torch before the movie started in the theatres.

i parked inside passed the guard station. everything was smooth since my name was on lists to enter freely, after all this is a big day, set up by big wigs (had to say that, just for kicks)

i get passed the big black famous wrought iron gate. worked my way up to the designated office. there was a secretary. gave my name, june wilson to read for "gunn" she knew. she got on the phone. out pops bill with a big smile bright eyed and bushy tailed. "come on in" i want you to meet owen crump!! i forget his position, probably the producer, too long ago! anyway, some other man was there. everyone was very pleasant. i'm like a big nerve ending with little feet!

i was handed some script pages. they said just read this scene. i did but didn't feel at ease. i was stopped and told to take these three pages home and come back in a couple of hours! i memorized all of it! called mimi (dancer on hollywood a gogo) got a yellow backless dress, put on some heels and off i went to read once and for all! now i looked like a radiant ingénue,

108. reading for part

i walk back in to perform. looking very different compared to jeans and boots. short backless sexy little number i had on made their eyes pop out! also i might add, if you are not a large busty woman doesn't mean you can't be sexy. i was born with it naturally. i have an animalistic earthy sexuality with a touch of little girl thrown in. let me tell you if i had huge breasts i'd really be in trouble! it's hard enough keeping men from wanting to jump right on me and have at it. my sensuality is a given from my mother and father. both sexy and classy combined. with my street smarts thrown in, i really have my toes in the cement! i'm clean and upstanding and not a cod fish! (no more said here) the dress made them watch me even closer! i sat on the couch and another man read a scene just having conversation getting to know me etc. i was very relaxed and it came out with ease since i memorized my given dialog. (i rather write my own it's 100 times more effective)

the next scene i had to do was shoot the killer of my father! i had this planned! out of nowhere in walks the man i've been looking for! i pull out my gun and say some very emotional words to him and with my body tight as a drum i shoot him! my face is completely insane with eyes of a killer myself! i scream and then fall to the floor in a ball and cry out to god himself!! when i looked up at owen and bill their mouths were open as if they were frozen! then owen said "she's a natural! " (right out of a movie reading for one) this remark made me feel real good and happy i took the time to memorize the lines and change wardrobe!

i left the room. bill said "wait here i think you got it!" each minute seemed like 30. bill comes back and brings me back in to the men and owen said "congratulations, we like you so much we would like to give you a screen test!" wow! i'm close to having the costarring part! this is too much for me! then bill says "i'll be directing you, this will take place in two days" there is another actress (a real pro) up for this part, her name is sherry jackson, the little girl who grew on "the danny thomas show" she was his daughter etc. here i am completely green at acting and sherry is big time!

to get to the point, it was fun working with bill! what a great director! he made me laugh and feel very comfortable. after all my scene was filmed with me under the sheets with nothing on. this was nerve racking. i'm so shy! just having makeup and my hair done by paramount employees was a huge deal to me!

guess what? i got the part! shooting was to begin in two weeks from today! screen tests are important for them to see you on film etc. this is gonna blow danny's mind! this meant money! we needed money! what else is new! one point for junie!!

i was concerned about me taking on this huge responsibility of carrying a costarring part! not one acting lesson, i'll just do it my way! (my favorite thing) knowledge or no knowledge, my heart is the smartest part, it will see me through! must admit, all the drinking and drug taking with danny and friends wasn't the smartest thing to be doing at this stage of the game. i refrained from partaking anything!! bravo! good for me!! on with the show!!!

109. filming of gunn

i received a phone call from bill friedkin. he says "listen june i'm not going to be directing "gunn". "i've decided i don't like the script!" "what! oh no don't tell me that! i'm comfortable with working with you!" (i didn't need this now, i'm scared enough as it is). "don't worry", bill says, "they have replaced me with even a better director, blake edwards! trust me you'll be just fine!" "okay" (what else could i say)

i was right on for makeup. they put it all over my body too. this scene takes place with me sitting up in bed under the sheets. they taped my small firm breasts together to hope to get some kind of cleavage.

scene begins as such: the door bursts open, it's craig stevens holding a gun searching for someone. i'm hysterical holding the sheet over me. i started to say my lines, i was stopped by mr. edwards (whom i met briefly) very nice man. anyway he said "june, i'm going to give you five minutes to work yourself up to a point of hysteria for this scene". "okay said little me" (mind you there is a crew of at least 40 people), this was a big production, i was scared, since i've never been subjected to this filming business.

i put my head down hands in my face (thinking to myself, how do i get upset now?) i kept searching for a way and couldn't find one i was so in love and happy, i just couldn't be unhappy. so i was honest, i simply raised my head up and said "i can't do it! " blake walks up real close to me and says, "don't worry, i'll fix it" then he yelled "bring out the poppers! then he places a small cotton object under my nose and cracked it and my eyes started to run! then he shot off a gun!!! well, that made me wound up and surprised. then he said "roll it!! " i just started throwing out my lines as best as i could, i did have them memorized! could have been worse! (as if it wasn't bad enough already!)

i had to say a few more words in another mood. blake said "just think about washing your dog "you see this is how they deal with children", you can always count on a good director.

in between takes, blake was actually trying to teach me how to play chess!!! (do you believe that) as if the filming wasn't enough. i realized i got in way over my head, but had to make the best of it. i was too green!!!! don't ever let this happen to you!

a large, i mean huge teddy bear was delivered to my room, it was as big as me! it was a gift from blake! what a sweet man with patience! i got to meet "julie andrews" yes mary poppins was there! now this was right out of a movie!!

that was enough filming for the day! thank god! i was so glad to be outside those gates and sitting on the curb with all my makeup on! i took a huge breath! i'm waiting for danny and jules siegel (writer, next door neighbor, he wanted me too)

i was tired and felt like i was whipped!! then i see the big gates open up real slow. it was a black rolls royce! i was trying to see who was sitting in the back. then i saw a black haired man turn his head around to see what was to his right. good god! it was elvis presley! he saw me and then started to really zero in on me! he then we were eye to eye and he gave me his famous curled up lip! boy, if it wasn't for danny i would have ran right up to the window to talk to him! i held back, he knew i wasn't going to budge. i bet i was the first girl in a long time that didn't jump for him! what can i say, my heart belongs to only one. he slithered away! up pulls danny, what a relief. home sweet home. that's where i want to go.

110. 2nd day of filming gunn

up at the crack of dawn! i was burnt from yesterday! by the way i was now a screen actors guild member since i had a speaking part on film. always been with aftra now i have sag. i think i was given a little more than scale.

now i was wearing clothes today! wardrobe and all business had to be figured out. makeup was quicker.

had a scene with "laura devon" beautiful blond actress. it was short and went alright.

then i had a scene where i had to hide from the murderer. i leaned up against these curtains that were from the ceiling to the floor. since everyone was busy, i'd go through the body movements in this to move around comfortably. so i proceeded to pretend i was speaking my lines. i leaned on the curtains and disappeared! i fell behind them. there wasn't a wall behind them! i hit my head real hard on a lighting stand rod and the big bolt on the side of it seemed as if it had broken my forehead! an instant huge goose egg bump came to view right on my forehead! mind you no one knew this happened yet!! "i said hello!" "will someone help me?! please! help! i've fallen!!" a couple of heads looked though the curtains with me sitting on the ground with a big bump on my head! they couldn't believe this! how did this happen!! "it was an accident! i was rehearsing, there's no wall here! "jesus christ!!" blake says. "take her to the drs. and have her checked out! they did. there's one on the lot of course. they took xrays! ? i had a slight concussion!! i was told to rest for a couple of days and see what happens. this made me feel like "lucille ball" for a moment falling through those curtains, seeing their faces! what a nightmare! tragedy and comedy, a fine line!

everyone was very sympathetic and concerned. i did know that i could have sued them for real. i would never want to start out acting by doing this! i'm too sweet! not a bitch! don't even know how to be one!

they told me they would stop production for a while until i healed. well, after a couple of days my whole face swelled up like a cantaloupe head. there were all these red, green, yellow, blue colors down the left side of my face!! i looked horrible!!! i got a phone call, paramount called to notify me that they just couldn't wait any longer, they've been filming around me. the production costs were too high to give me anymore recuperating time. they paid me in full ( $3000or $4000) i forget!

they replaced me with "sherry jackson" she finally got to do the part anyway. they should have used her to begin with! i just happened to read too damn good to be turned down! to win a part and then to actually do it and get paid are two different things. lots of pressure if you don't know what you are doing! i was too too immature for my age! had no knowledge or acting lessons! be careful and be prepared when hired! yes! i'm a natural! now. i do it my way! this works beautifully!

when i went to pick up my paycheck, blake set up a screening for me to watch what we had filmed! ooooh! how exciting! it was blake and i sitting alone in the screening room. i watch the under the covers scene! i wasn't impressed! i didn't care for the way i was acting at all! blake said "never put yourself down, you are just fine, believe me" i didn't anyway! i knew what all went behind it! i sure looked pretty though! so what! i want to curl toes! not ready, that's all!!

111. me seeing myself act with blake directing.

blake asked me if i'd like to watch "sherry jackson" redo the scene we just watched! of course i would! we went over to the sound stage. there's the set i filmed in, and there's "sherry jackson" sitting in the bed with the sheet around her waist!!! my eyes amazed me to see that she had pasties on with tassels!! good lord! how can she be so brave? oh well, she was so pretty and happy to show her gorgeous breasts one way or another. what's wrong with that? she took charge beautifully! i was happy for her! and guess what? i was happy i hit my head! that was meant to be! it was too soon for me. now i'm ready! it's getting pretty crispy under my belt! actors need crusty guts! i'm over rotten with expression now! !!

danny and i moved to a duplex on cahuenga. we tired of the picky landlady on weepah way!

i found this duplex fixer upper next to the freeway on cahuenga. cheaper rent. i'm footing the bill for as danny is working on the idea of a new fresh beginning! he's such a brilliant smart man always reading and writing new ideas for songs etc.

danny recieved a letter. he was being drafted! oh no! there was no way in hell's kitchen he would join! i agreedl i love my danny too much! so did my ollie! (my dog is always with me or my mom babysits him)

danny already had a plan! "i'm going to take lots of pills and drugs to stay awake for about five days!! he got way fried! he resembled a werewolf in heat! his pupils were huge! we never partook in opium type drugs, heroin etc. pupils are small with those!

the morning had come to get him ready for his much dreaded appointment! he had a pair of ninny nanny pant led wasted jeans that were high and baggy! i rolled up the cuffs a little too high on purpose! he put grease in his hair and slicked it down in such a manner, you wouldn't want someone like this fighting for our country! he was burnt to a crisp! i drove him downtown and gave him a kiss for luck! it was hard for him to stay awake! i returned later. he felt good about the negative vibes towards him. indeed he failed and we won! you must understand he's on the brink of something big! he just can't stop now.

it's better i leave this section out altogether! danny wouldn't want this to be known! believe me lots of men did the same thing in their own way to not participate in war!! i believe if you want to go! go! if you don't, don't! every man for himself!

omit this page entirely ? what do you think?

112. house on cahuenga - a new audition

what to sell on ebay to make money
i hadn't read for any parts since my accident at paramount. i finally got a phone call to show up and read for the part of a catholic student in a feature movie called "where angels, go trouble follows" hot dignity dog! off i went! i got the part! filming on location for two months in santa fe new mexico and philadelphia! it starred "rosiland russell", "stella stevens," "milton beryl" and "van johnson". big production! i was given only one line of dialog. who cares! i'll be all through out the movie. scale pay aint too shabby for two months work. they throw in per diem, (allowance per week to eat out if you don't want their cafeteria type food). i loved location food. and the extra money! egg, bacon, and cheese fried sandwich off the truck in the mornings are the kind!!!

now i have to leave danny creating unshaven and driven! i'm going to miss ollie! off to my mom's we go! "on approaching her apt. ollie said loud and clear "ma ma! ma, ma!" isn't he something, i taught him that. he's such a good boy!

so now i'm flying to philadelphia. now i can send home money for food and rent! after arriving i met all the girls acting in this film. "susan st. james" was one of them. she had a starring roll! she was so cute. smart as a whip, and loaded with energy! then there was this almost florescent blonde woman. her skin was like a candle. big brown eyes like i've never seen! heart shaped red lips. pearl earrings, necklace, rings. white satin dress! close to "gean harlow". her name "alexandra hay". we talked for a couple of hours at the hotel, she then received a phone call telling her to forget this picture you've got the part in the "otto preminger" movie! more money. bigger part!! better movie! off she went back to l.a. just like that! darn! i liked her. she was like an old fashioned movie star! little did i know, she would become a close friend to me down the road! we had exchanged phone numbers! she gets a whole chapter in my book later!

i was raped!!!! so we started filming long grueling hours monday through fridays! we were free to do whatever we wanted on the weekends! this meant my roommate and i could go to new york and play. it was only one hour to get there. we were given a limo!

we hit a couple of nightclubs! dancing is all i wanted to do, and drink of course! i ordered brandy alexander's! my favorite! this particular club had the dance floor lowered down like a red glowing pit and smooth wooden floor! the sound system was incredible! i'm dancing with my roommate and look up. much to my surprise, there's charlie green and brian stone! yes! the crooked business managers. i had met them with danny and spoke to them. (neil young rip off artists remember?) they signaled to come up and have a drink with them! okay we did. after party was to take place soon at their hotel room. yes! we'll go! limo at our disposal was handy! there were quite a few people there. party with the new yorkers! alright! i'm sitting on charlies lap rambling on he said "here take this pill, you'll love it, goes well with liquor" it was a red a blue bullet shaped pill. i said "i don't know if i should" charlie said" don't worry, i look after you, trust me"

113. new york incident!!!

like a naive idiot, (which is what i was) i took it! i knew danny wouldn't like this move i made, but heck, he knows i'm a caring careful devoted girlfriend. just blowing off steam before shooting in the morning back in philadelphia. then charlie says "now would you like another brandy alexander?" "sure why not?" in thirty minutes i blacked out completely! i woke up the next morning with charlie humping me like i was a dead corpse! isn't it rape? hell yes! it's called date rape these days! i panicked in complete shock! hell! what else did he do to me when i was passed out? what a nightmare! i then threw him off me. i said "what do you think you are doing you son of a bitch!" i found the bathroom and jumped into a real hot tub! i strained and pushed real hard to get rid of god knows how many times he used me as a cum receptacle! i was so ashamed and frightened! what about danny, the love of my life! how do i live with this and look him in the eyes? after all this slime ball might as well hit me on the head with a hammer. my heart was crushed and my self esteem, you name it. this was out of my hands and he was into my body!!!! feeling lost and alone, we get back just in time for makeup! do you believe the shape i was in! now i have to go to work acting fresh as a daisy!

i couldn't stand living alone with this another minute! i decided for better or worse i'm going to tell danny! i'm sure he will comfort me and understand how i was taken advantage of! i dial my phone number, one ring, two rings, three rings! i was deciding to hang up & forget it. he picks up! oh oh! "hi danny! i was missing you i just had to call you before we start filming again" "hi honey, how's it going?" that was it! i started crying! i couldn't hold it back at all! "danny? i have to tell you what happened to me in new york last night when my roommate and i went dancing! " we were invited to an afterhours party and charlie green slipped me a mickey in my drink!" he said "what!!" yes! i actually passed out in the hotel and i woke up and he was on top of me!! he took advantage and i was a helpless dead corpse waking up at the end of his disgusting act he was doing to me! " "how could you let that happen june? how could you be in a situation like that?" i said "danny?, can't we have him arrested? danny says "june, it will never be the same between us again!!!". i couldn't believe he wasn't sympathetic at all! he became aloof and cold! good god there is no way to erase this mistake! i was so broken hearted already, now i'm brokenhearted more since danny wouldn't stand by me at all! i guess he didn't believe me! doesn't matter. damage was done! my goose was cooked. the love of my life must not really love me! is there a chance i could salvage our relationship? did he really mean it would never be the same again? only time will tell! now i have to go to work with my head held high with a river of tears inside me i must hold back!

rosalind russell to the rescue!! i was working hard as usual in the background filming. it was between takes. i heard "hello young lady! would you come here for a minute?" it was miss russell! i looked around and she was waving her hand to me to come over! i said "me?" i wasn't sure. "yes dear, come here!" so to my surprise i walked right over to her. she said "you have to excuse me, but i've been watching for quite a while now and 1 think you are going to go very far in this business!!!" "really?" "that means a great deal to me" "thanks for the words of encouragement. she said "no, i really mean that, you put in all you've got in your heart even though you're in the background" what a shot in the arm! i needed that. i was saved after being buried by danny.

114. santa fe new mexico!!

now we're in santa fe. what a beautiful, spiritual place. i called the sunsets prehistoric sunsets! the sky was always a very rich orange and the silhouette black mountain shapes were unreal!

we were here to film a rodeo scene with susan st. st james. this is where i get to speak my one line, buying some indian artifacts. nothing exciting really, (it was too me).

on our time off, i took off on my own. i met an indian girl! we talked for a while. her name was nancy poliumptewa! she actually took me to meet the son of the chief of the hopi indians! his name was preston hibbard. we were at his small house. he was happily hooking up a color tv. i enjoyed observing every hair of being with the hopi's aura's.

they took me to taos! very popular tourist town. i couldn't help noticing that most of the indians had one red eye. interesting isn't it?

i gave my phone number to nancy and went back to my motel room. no it wasn't a hotel, we were put up in a very nice motel.

on sunday i walked around as usual and noticed a short bearded man going through things in his small camper. his name was larry valas. he reminded me of a little king. like the one in the children's storybook. this man was worldly, hip and wise. everyone knew larry. he had an unusual laugh, high pitched and funny. i drank some of his whiskey. i noticed he didn't really drink himself. it started to rain. i started to run in it and he joined in with me! how much fun to live by the moment.

larry took me to eat at "the three cities of spain" an extraordinary atmosphere. i fell in love with santa fe. larry took me to a party. excuse me, now this was a party! it was at a woman's house. the beam ceilings were round. i loved them. indian blankets on the walls and incredible pottery sprinkled about. fireplace going, fresh fruit corn and dips etc.. guess who walks in? barry maguire. yes, the "eve of destruction" man. i hadn't seen him since dancing with him at "the trip" i asked him what are you doing here? he said "i live here, i left hollywood a couple of years ago". "i love it here. i wouldn't live anywhere else". for heaven's sakes i said.

then barry takes me outside to meet someone. "june i want you to meet "ramblin jack eliot" barry was so handsome to me. i liked watching him introduce ramblin jack to me. remember one thing, i just love everyone. love and peace man. jack elliot was big with a big mustache. i could feel a spiritual talent within him. he wrote his own music etc. i was impressed.

larry takes me to meet the lady of the house. i guess she wasn't one to mingle. we get to a door in the house. he opens it. there was a hospital bed with a dark long haired woman lying in it. a few people were sitting in chairs conversing. she had a nurse who was shooting her up with something. larry said, we have to wait until she's finished. i asked, "what is she giving her?" larry said "a speed ball". i had no idea what that was.

then we walked up to her and i was introduced. she smiled and was very relaxed. i will not say her name. she was gracious, hip and very much respected, that's all i could see. i take it she has these parties all the time! cool! what a rush! good people here! i wouldn't mind living here myself! this is the place to be that's for sure!

last day of filming. milton beryl was playing the part of a director. he was grumpy. it was hot! it's a rap!! time to go home.

115. as i was flying back to danny

i always listened and learned from him. i looked up to him and respected him completely.

he told me "when i first met you, you could hardly speak! he told me "when you can actually sit in a field alone and enjoy it happily, then you will be comfortable and grounded with yourself". he was my guru. nehru shirt and all.

not long ago, danny and i took a moment and looked at each other. i said to him "let's make an oath to one another that we will always be together no matter what" he said "sure" so in unison, eye to eye we said "we will always be together no matter what" i said "until we die" in unison "until we die". this was a personal marriage of our hearts. i was so happy after we did this. the unending delicate love that i have for danny will never end! words cannot express that love i feel for him.

he would make me laugh real hard after being up all night writing, unshaven and burnt to a crisp, then he'd put on this old yellow robe and old burgundy suede boots with his white hairy legs and pose for me with a real stupid look on his face! cracked me up every time!! you had to be there. (i'm doing the best i can to make it so for you now)

yes, he was my night in shining armor!!! i couldn't sleep until i see him again. the plane has just landed. i'm trying to remain cool, calm, and collected.

there he is. there's my danny! i ran up to him and put my arms around him. "i've missed you so!" gave him a kiss. he smiled, ear to ear as if nothing happened. thank god! "are you okay honey?" he said. "of course i am" "will you forgive me for what happened?" "it'll be fine, don't worry". "did you have a nice flight?" (i wasn't too satisfied with this quick of a reply)

i had to live with it and hope things would be back to normal. guess what? i'm not the same since the rape! i will not be getting any consoling. in fact, there will never be any discussion about it either. i could feel that from him, as well.

116. lookout !!!! lookout mountain!!!! three dog night!!!!

we moved back to laurel canyon. this is 1968 or so. that meant shopping at the country canyon store. old bill with his blue pickup truck ran it. everyone loved him.

we found a two bedroom house up lookout mountain. a heavy set woman named marion handled all rentals in the canyon. she gave it to us for $245.00 a month!! what a deal huh? it was right up the street from frank zappa! we use to go to his parties at his big log cabin home. it had a bowling alley in it. now we live straight up the hill from him. convenient!!

the house was off the street, up quite a few stairs up. had a front yard! good for ollie! a living room, kitchen, bathroom, and of course the bedrooms. we made the back room our bedroom. the other room close to living room became a den/music room. we had an upright piano that was perfect in there.

i made homemade curtains made out of beautiful blue velvet with paisley multi colored print all over it. everyone just tripped out on them. they were far out man. (must keep lingo intact for this era) i painted the refrigerator chinese red. no one had a frig this color, we did. after i finished painting i went and took a shower. the phone rang. i jump out ringing wet to answer it. it was timmy calling for danny. on my way back to the shower i stopped to grab a swig of milk. i grabbed the silver handle. electricity ran through my body!!! i couldn't let go of the handle!! i thought i was going to die!! this frig wasn't grounded. help! somehow my hand came loose! danny comes home and sees me naked, wet, and crying!! he took me to the couch. told him of being fried by the frig! i asked him "am i going to live?" "sure you will". i can't begin to describe how it feels. it was a deadly jolt that i'll never forget! danny for some reason felt a little a little aloof and in a hurry. mind you he was not a very affectionate man, nor romantic. either was i. we are both virgo's. calculated and meticulous. i always heard that when two virgo's are together it can be great, or a complete catastrophe! i was into making it as an actress. he's driven with music. he seemed more relaxed then i around the house. always reading something heady like "spinoza". nothing wrong with that. i was lucky to see his nose appear over the book he was always engrossed in. i was always drawing, making pillows, cleaning, going on auditions.

i must say that everyone came to our house. we were very popular and the handsome couple. coming back from auditioning for the monkees movie "head", i walk in and danny said "sit down june i want to talk to you". "i want to form a super group!" "really", i said. that's a great idea". "i want you to go with me tonight and listen to a drummer that someone told me was good. you know i know that you have a good ear for music. i need your opinion". right on! rock and roll! this should be fun! plus, i could visualize money, good! danny can now make up for me carrying the ball. i knew he would in due time.

117. forming three dog night!!

we went to a club called "the rag doll" another typical valley club. everyone was jammin everywhere at this time, and dancing up sweats.

danny and i sat right up front at a small table. the set begins. out comes the drummer. big black strong, and smiling and laughing. he was cute i thought. he was messing with his drums a bit. danny says "pay attention". no problem. his name was floyd sneed. the minute he hit the snare it was so crisp and sharp, perked my ears right off. he was so powerful i had to close my mouth. i was blown away! i knew he's going to be the drummer! i said "danny, i love the way he plays! he's the one for the group". after the set i walked up to floyd and said "hi my name is june and my boyfriend danny hutton would like to talk to you". he agreed and came and sat down. i came right out and spoke, "we are going to form a super rock group and we would like for you to be the drummer! " "oh really, says floyd, that's great but i have my own group i was compelled to talk, "oh it's your group, we'll let me tell you that this group is going to be huge! we are certain of it!" "we just have to have you". then the man spoke and he agreed and we had ourselves a drummer!!!

danny found the bass player joe schermie. he moved in with us. stocky guy from the midwest, who really had a sense of humor. ollie slept with him and got little white hairs all over him every night! it was funny. danny gathered up jimmy greenspoon the key boardest. he was jazz oriented and was quick fingered. michael allsup was lead guitar, most excellent. they rehearsed everyday right in the living room. i was the cook of course. hostess with the mostess!

we went and listened to cory wells sing at "the haunted house" on hollywood blvd. he sounded just like his idol otis redding! he blew me away! danny was a master mind and bringing things together musically. this was all his idea! i was so proud and impressed with my honey!

chuck negron was with reb foster & associates. which included bill utley. reb foster was the famous d.j. on krla and kfwb! he made those stations cook! chuck was their single artist they signed for management. danny's as well. chuck had a gorgeous high voice.

danny, chuck, and cory made beautiful harmony together. it was the right formula of musicians and singers. there was no doubt about them making it. just a matter of time. they rehearsed for one year in the living room. my mother loved the blend of their voices and the talent of the musicians. she really has a good ear!

our house was the pit stop of laural canyon. neil young, steven stills, mama cass you name it. there's too many. bonnie raitt was only 15. danny predicted she was going to be big. bonnie bramlett who we heard at "the haunted house"' her voice was very powerful. van dyke parks, genius on piano his wife durrie was a rich intellectual. ry cooder. to be cont.

118. lookout mt. cont: naming of three dog night

i was always dancing around the house as the guys rehearsed. i was addicted to floyd's foot pedal. i would always put my head right in his bass drum for a couple of minutes at a time! it felt so good! his syncopation of foot with the rest of his drums was too good to be true!

i overheard the guys trying to think of a name for the group. they said "tricycle?". i didn't like that. then i heard "redwood?" brian wilson of beach boys input. i didn't like that. it was time for me to go and make a deposit. i'm sitting on the throne reading "mankind magazine". there was an article about "the aborigines". they live in australia. it talked about how they were always on the move. they slept in holes in the ground. they didn't have blankets, they had dogs! they had sayings amongst themselves. "it's a one dog night" not that cold, you only need one to sleep with. two dog night, just a little colder. "three dog night" is a real cold night! i thought to myself, i think since there is three lead singers, 3 dog night creates pictures in your head too. it just so happens to have a real meaning behind it as well. what the heck i'm going to see what the guys think of this for a name. "hey guys. what about "three dog night?" "what? they said." that sounds a little bazaar! "never the less, they decided to go with it to represent them. one point for junie!

i was amazed to hear that van dyke parks was claiming that he was the one who came up with this name. bullshit! what's the matter with people? oh yes, and then cory wells told danny not to let me have the credit naming them, women shouldn't be given that much credit! good lord, can't people just be honest and stop lying stealing etc. it would be a better world if they did! anyway it was written up in the "rolling stone magazine". i named the group! that's enough of that! i've straightened it out once and for all! i received a phone call. i actually got three parts in the monkees movie "head"! i was a harem dancer. belly dancer outfit! the bra top was so big, i actually put a pair of panties in each cup! i had to do something! it was like a 38dd!! toni basil was the choreographer. she's the one later to sing "mickey" in her cheer leader outfit and pigtails! her boyfriend was dean stockwell (the boy with the green hair movie), he was the boy!

the second part, i wore a bikini and was to be suicidal by jumping off a roof. mike nesmith catches me in his arms when i fall.

the last, i'm in a psychedelic dance segment and you see my face up close with a light show on it!

bob rafelson directed it. bert schneider producer? i think. jack nicholson was there behind the scene. they were like the rat pack. hell if jack's there, he is the rat pack and anyone who walks with him.

i come home from filming. god knows what's going on at my house or who would be in it! i go into the kitchen and danny is counting out downers. he had a gallon baggy of thousands of seconals! i've never seen so many! i didn't know what to do. i just sloughed it off! he was the pharmacist of our house. we had everything! i use to pop those reds all the time along with everyone else. coke? of course! too much of it. ounces all the time!! pot? yes! pound here and there! need i say more?

119. brian wilson of the beach boys

danny and i would go to brian's house on laurel way! it was nice seeing him again since dean torrance introduced him to me earlier. brian was still working on "pet sounds"! he was a perfectionist! he put earphones on me to hear the latest mix downs! blew both danny and i away!! we were so lucky to hear his private stuff. he would send danny acetates showing different styles of the theremin! the screaming voice sounding instrument that plays through "good vibrations" it took him nine months to perfect this song!

brian's wife marilyn catered to everyone. she also weeded out all the bad influences! she wasn't stupid. her husband would take anything that went passed his nose. who didn't. we were always carrying. she knew it! we were careful not to be to giving with it!

i must interject how i discovered whipped cream in a can gets you high! in the supermarket i would go to the milk area and take hold of the red top on the whipped cream can and take it off. then i bent the white nozzle a little until the gas leaked out and suck it up in my mouth! you get real high! i thought i would share this with brian! bad girl me and what a stupid thing to do! dangerous? i didn't know or seem to care at the time. i told brian just for kicks to share what i did. what does he do?! he orders a case to be delivered to the house!! oh no! what will marilyn do! i didn't think he would do such a thing! now what's going to happen?

brian just recently had a beautiful arabian red tent put in his living room. it was huge! it could hold 15/20 people! we thought this is far out!! he also brought sand from the beach since the beach boys did not live far from where my dad built our house by the beach in el porto!

he then made a real big sand box and put his baby grand piano in it! there was a curtain baby blue with little teddy bears on it so he could enclose himself in to create on his piano! what a trip huh?

people were arriving. time to play in his new red tent!! there was a low table to sit on the floor of pillows next to it. brian then says "here everyone take a plate, and silverware! " now i'm going to start a rhythm like this: now you all do the same thing on your plates.!" we did! how unusual and fun! i think he was creating a new song and wanted to hear in his head how clanging spoons would sound as a basic drum track! who knows! who cares!

now brian said someone's at the door! get that june! i jump up, open the door! it's a man holding a case of whipped cream!!! jesus christ! it's gonna happen! we're all gonna get high on a new level. there's so many going around everyone is either baking banana peels (they called it mellow yellow) donovan. we were all guinea pigs back then it was the thing to do! seeing how long one could stay up on meth was always a chal1enge! the best i could do was three days at a time! my lips had a big red ring around the outside of my lips from talking so much nonstop! my lower jaw would go from side to side at the same time. speed was rough and very rough coming down off this stuff!! self destruction! barry maguire had it right!

120. brian wilson continued..

brian wilson, big belly and beard!! the wilsons moved to bel air. bellagio road. a big beautiful mansion. brian was vulnerable to all the bad influences that came on his premises. danny and i still remained friends. i was amazed at how he changed physically. he was huge! stopped shaving all together obviously. to look into his eyes now was hard to find him. i was worried for him. i decided to make a point to make him laugh from now on. he was way too confused and serious.

to see brian sit at the piano at all was rare. i caught him sitting as people were giving him a break for a minute. i just had to go and sit with him. i said "please play anything for me would ya brian" he looked out of the corner of his eye and thought for a second. then he played a beautiful melody i never heard. any time brian put his fingers to the keys it would be like magic. he stopped after 10 seconds! "oh god i love that, can't you play a little more?" it's new" "it's called. do drop in" he smiled. he wasn't uncomfortable around me, i made sure of that. i knew he was getting paranoid at this point in his life! there was nothing anyone could do. regardless, everyone was going over to brian's.

lots of different mixture of people were always around. brians father was there off and on. dennis wilson, his brother and drummer. carl wilson, his other brother. mike love, his cousin, one of the singers of beach boys. i never liked him. too pompous. made me sick to my stomach! sorry, i'm honest. carl wilson was one of the sweetest men i ever met. his voice was very close to brian's voice. brian had an incredible high pitch and tone only he could do! he pretty much stopped singing at this point. hardly played the piano for any length of time. i'd always bug him to play me something to keep him going in my own little way. to be around a genius such as he was an honor. i cared about him.

out of nowhere he said to me "june you will become a star in one year! " (that blew my mind) i showed him some of my newest pictures that were newly taken and he made this comment. he picked out one, i framed it for him. the next time danny and i came over i gave it to him and brian put it on his desk.

brian was like a butterfly he would flit around and he talked or didn't talk to anyone he wanted. he was the eccentric king of his castle, what an extraordinary character he was. i had very little time with him alone since he and danny and all the others were always holed up in a room for hours. i spent lots of time roaming about.

i went in his pool for a while one late afternoon. i saw brian walking across the lawn towards the pool. he got to the edge and stopped. i said" hi brian" he jumped in the pool with all of his clothes on! i couldn't believe it! for brian to do this was a little out of character. but not now i guess since he was slowly ejecting himself away from everyone. good for him, he should relax anyway he can. he was sweet and made a little small talk. i got out soon and went to see danny, i was a little shy or something, loaded? maybe that was it. always on coke and drinking with everyone else. brian didn't drink. that's good. acid was brian's favorite i think. i don't really know, we were all ripped on something!

brian's wife marilyn, remained to herself and family members. i always saw a very healthy baby running around, it was "carnie". yes! brian's daughter! she was one of the happiest, busiest toddlers i've ever seen! we didn't get to see her too often. she was highly protected by ma ma! she was a beautiful child! "hi carnie in case you're reading this. you still remain beautiful".

121. three dog night - signing contracts & touring

three dog signed with reb foster & associates for business management. this was grand since william jackson utley ( bill) advanced danny around $30,000 dollars! what a relief! we needed this! time for auditioning for a record label!

i had no idea who this tall man was standing in our living room. all i know is that danny, chuck, and cory were rehearsing a song called "it's for you" they worked out the most clever harmonies ping ponging alternating between their three different voices. this was beautiful and never had been before. danny worked hard on this. chuck always contributed, cory was good on singing soul. these guys worked well together. this tall man was ahmet ertegun i believe he was president of a&m records. (can't remember everything). i feel the air of importance with him in there room. the guys were on edge. ahmet said "no musicians?" no sir just our vocals they said. "very well go ahead whenever you're ready". they did and sounded like three gospel angle voices together! blew him away! we all felt good about this! he didn't sign them! who knows why not, they were disappointed. i couldn't get it either, my heart was with every note they sang and on pins and needles with them. they had all the songs needed and rearranged in their own way. danny was the brian wilson of the group. his idol. we would watch him at the "pet sound" recordings. danny observed the way brian orchestrated these union musicians needed for this high quality album. for example he would stop everything and go in and show the flute player to hold his lip a little bit lower! that impressed me! a professional flute player! yes!

this song was "god only knows" gorgeous song! you don't know how incredible it was to hear this in the studio! goose bump time for me!

there was a moment i couldn't believe. brian was adding on a percussion part that sounded like a ping pong ball bouncing off a table in a snappy little repetition. i look in when they were doing this and it was brian himself using an empty small plastic orange juice bottle and a small wooden mallet he had picked up around him and turned this into an instrument! it had an incredible perfect sound needed behind the voices as they sang "and god only knows what i'd be without you" listen and you will hear it is one of the hooks instrumentally on this song! of course pet sounds album everything was a hook to me! this is a truly magical album of all time!

the cello's on good vibrations were phenomenal! there were a few of these men playing ferociously! the base harmonica was insanely moving on "carol i know". never mind, just listen to the album and drift away into outer space! on "the barnyard" song i'm a chicken. "bok bok bagea! time to audition for "warner brothers records". we met moe austin. he had a wall eye and was cute and sweet. that's all i remember. he signed them and that was it!!!! we were on our way! i say we because i was so much a part of them, how couldn't i be! they were like my brothers. i was their cook, mascot! loved danny and truly believed in them!

122. three dog begins! touring

the guys began touring! how exciting! i went with them all the time. they opened for "the turtles" quite often! mark volman, the butterball one, was so funny! loaded, cracking jokes, making faces, a real riot! mark and his wife pat lived right up the street from us. every time mark came down the hill he would yell out the window and scream "ollie, ollie, ollie" like i always did for my sweet ollie dog! every time, real, real loud! i loved that!

the "turtles were huge at this point "happy together" their greatest hit was always on the radio! who didn't love that song? danny and i had dinner at the volman's quite often.

when three dog's first album came out, they opened at "the whiskey a go go!" this was a big deal to us. danny wore his black and white striped pants.

as usual i clapped and yelled to make sure everyone else did! no one knew who they were yet. their sound was huge! the people accepted them.

then we went to london for the first time! real big deal for all of us! they performed at some club. (can't remember too much, except i was always up front pretending to be a groupie to get the girls excited and copy me! they did! hell, i was there mascot. i loved danny and the guys so much! remember, peace and love!

i'll never forget this. danny had a burning sensation on his balls (pardon me). we were in our hotel room. he figured a bath might help. he's in there and in pain. i was very worried. this is right out of laurel and hardy. i figured for some reason maybe if i get some hot water on the side and slowly pour it right on them it would help! danny screamed in even more pain, and said "what are you doing june! you're making it worse!" i didn't know. i was so sorry! they were on fire! so was danny! even the doctor we went to, who was severely english said" oh my, they do look quite angry! " prescribed ointment solved the problem. thank god! danny and i laughed over this incident a lot! (quite angry!) a real riot!

danny took me over to see an up and coming singer's flat! groovy man! his name was elton john. he was so cute! he looked like a lit up leprechaun! you just want to pinch his cheeks when you see him. great smile with his john lennon glasses on. danny said to elton, "this is my girlfriend june, why don't you play her your new music, she has a great ear" "of course" says elton. we go into a back room. on go the earphones. i'm loaded enough to really get into it. this song, sound, new and refreshing hit to me, blew me away! it was called "take me to the pilot" i told him it would be a smash!!!! then he played the piano for me. this guy is too good to be true!! he introduced me to bernie talpin. he was his lyraclst! he was cool and handsome. what an evening.

we're now on a bus going to the outskirts of newcastle london it was cold. it was a three dog night for real! i'll never forget sitting across from floyd sneed (drummer) i told him it's just too cold on this bus! floyd said "june, look at the size of the heater, why, it's no bigger then a sparrow's butt hole!!!". he laughed too hard on that one, you had to be there to see floyds face saying this.!

all in all 3 dog was well received!!

i did a little shopping in portobello road flea market. found a real old picture for danny from the 1800's cartoonist. time to get back to america!!!!

123. the attack of the crabs!!

i stopped touring after a couple of years.

i needed to go on my auditions for acting. i have an agent and a destiny too, you know!

the girls were starting to go nuts over them at this point. i wasn't needed anymore to warm them up.

the vampire existence, never seeing daylight, snorting coke in the hotel rooms was becoming boring and unhealthy for me. i also felt it would be unhealthy for our relationship if i didn't tour with him. i just couldn't do it anymore.

before danny took off on the next tour without me i asked him "do you think you can handle all this fame and fast lane business? will it change you or even worse hurt us?" "of course not, i've already had a taste of it. it'll never affect me. we'll be fine, i love you" we kissed and i relaxed about it. remember we'll always be together no matter what. i want to get married one day and have children with danny. i know we will,

we were always on the phone. i kept busy, auditioning etc. danny's back home, it's been two months. kisses were quick seemingly. didn't get much eye contact, just short fast smiles. he was burnt that's all. we made love to make up for lost time. it seemed a bit mechanical. he was a stranger on top of me. he just went through the moves, i followed his lead, what else could i do. i over looked it. i'm just glad he's back home!

a few days went by. we're just relaxing on the couch, shooting the breeze. i started to have an itch on my crouch area, i itched it! it kept itching! it was getting worse! i said "danny, i keep itching, why doesn't it stop?" he got a horrible look on his face like a family member died or something! he was scaring me!t then he said "junie, it's crabs! i've given you crabs". i had no idea what he was talking about. "what are you saying?" "i got it on with a skuzzy groupie. she gave them to me and now i have given them to you! i'm sooo sorry, please forgive me! " "what are they?" "they are little bugs that look like little crabs!" i screamed as i held my crouch and ran into the bathroom. "get them off! get them off me!! " he went with me a gave me some ky jelly stuff that kills them. i used tweezers to look at one it was a disgusting bug that was running around in my pubic hair having a party! he wasn't the only one either! this was the most humiliating disgusting invasion on my body and heart all at once!!! my heart was broken! danny wasn't unconscious as i with the date rape business. this hurt me deeply. he was hurt too. the damage was done. he cheated. now i was the one who felt it'll never be the same.

danny didn't know he had the crabs obviously. we both had to treat ourselves. with this ky stuff. he picked it out at the drugstore. he knew what to get! back then it was a big deal to get crabs. he also gave me gonorrhea a vaginal infection. rock & roll!

124. hanging on for danny

we were friends with the group "the association" they were a huge success with many hits. "cherish" was one of them. great guys. we were closest to the percussionist. i'm sorry to say i can't remember his name. he was the jokester of the group. i feel i must share this. danny took me over to his house as usual. this guy was a pharmacist in his own home. there wasn't a drug he didn't have. it was scary to me. danny and i would sit on his couch and he would bring us concoctions he made up. mixtures of heavy drugs, i felt as though i were a guinea pig. danny didn't bat an eye over this! he had a cast iron system. i know i was heading towards space after i smoked pot and pcp together! way too much for me! danny would always have large grins. then we had the finest lines of coke. all dentist has this and it's sky high price wise. i never liked any of this stuff but i did it anyway! then what's his name signaled for me to go to the restroom with him. i looked at danny, (go ahead see what he wants) look on his face. inside the head he closes the door. he opens a drawer and pulls out some rubber tubing. had no idea what was up. then he takes out a spoon, cotton ball and cooks up some of his coke. i was beside myself! he looks at me and says "tie this around my arm and hold it real tight." oh no i can't do that! my eyes were big in fear. "sure you can, it's no big deal" "it is to me, you might hurt yourself and i don't want any part of that" "trust me i know what i'm doing, just do it. please!" hell i did it and he shoots up. my nerves were on edge, he says "see no big deal" then he starts to hear and see things! he said "did you hear that? turn off the lights i see something! " i'd rather be sitting on the couch with danny, not in here with him freaking out! he kept sshhhhing me. he wouldn't let me leave. i had to take the ride with him! it must have been at least 45 minutes now and why didn't danny at least knock on the door to see what's up!

i felt abandoned and had had a depressed urgency within me! finally i get him to open the door. i run out to danny and he's just sitting on the couch enjoying his buzz! isn't this romantic. what a beautiful delightful evening! danny didn't even ask me what took so long, he was too much involved with his own self.

believe it or not a few months after this the "association" lost their percussionist to an overdose! danny always said "he really knows all about drugs and how to use them! guess what? no he didn't. must say danny would and didn't shoot any drugs either did i. all this drug taking was way too much.

drugs would distant danny even more from me. snorting isn't okay either!

we went to a party at john philips and michele's mansion. mama's and papa's lead singers. so we walk in together danny said "you go to the left and i'll go the the right, i'll see you later" then he disappeared in a sea of beautiful people. this is when it started to really hurt me. danny was becoming a stranger to me. i was alone when i was with him as it was. drinking, and drugging all the time! danny acquired a nick name for him administering coke hand held to your nose. "hutton hit", gotta have a hutton hit! it would be a large mound of coke on a tiny spoon. this was the in thing to do for everybody. danny was still always upstanding and classy. he was generous with his personal stash! most people were back then. everyone was always holding and sharing at parties etc..

125. filling in the gap with mama cass!!

mama cass was bigger than life in her heart! size has nothing to do with it! her voice, one of a kind, gorgeous as we all know.

i use to go and visit her at her hollywood hills home. she'd always be sitting in her favorite chair.

we had a high sign together. we'd swing our arms up in the air together and say "yes but its nice!" (meaning life itself! )

i drove her over to some of my neighbor's house up on lookout mountain. these hippies were happening. booze, pot, you name it.

mama and i sat on the couch laughing and getting loaded. i had a shitload of quaaludes. mama ate them like popcorn!

scott mckenzie showed up and he was depressed as usual. he'd perk up after a while. i would act foolish to help bring him up. bottom line, we were all working people trying to have a good time. we didn't have to try that hard. great music and good company alleviates a lot. scott's hit song "going to san francisco".

everyone was blown away. i brought mama over. she was so happy. i knew another one of the reasons. she didn't know that i knew that joe shermie (bass player of three dog night) screwed the shit out of her! (pardon my french) joe told me this when we they played in new york city. joe pulled me aside backstage and said "june, mama cass is here, keep her busy and away from me. i nailed her real good and she never forgot it! " wow, i thought to myself, what's he doing? he said "she's been following me around at all our concerts and i can't shake her". jesus, joe was treating her like a groupie. the way she was acting, she was! she was head over heels for joe. good for her! i've never seen her smile so big when i'd tell her joe schermie stories. here's one. joe said he was in his hotel quite a while ago, there was a knock on his motel room and it was janice joplin naked!!

mama and i loved and admired each other. we needed to be since we were always alone. us women had to be happy no matter how empty we felt at times. all our so called delicious drugs masked over our faces to keep us smiling.

"yes, but it's nice!!!" bullshit! where are our men? where are the ones who really care? luckily we do love ourselves so we'll get by. we made the best out of it anyway!

one of the best voices on the planet was mama cass elliot's. go shopping with her for shoes, and she didn't need any cash, just her name.

to remember the sixties is like picking things out of a tornado you forgot you ever had or did. tough business.

126. 1968/1969 shaky ground

what to sell on ebay to make money
i was the hostess with the mostest! parties at my house were exactly that! i'd rent a 16 millimeter projector and a screen to go with it. there wasn't any vhr's, vhf's, dvd's, digital anything! showing movies like this was the only thing you could do!

i rent classic films such as, "42nd. st." busby berkley's musical. "hellsapoppin" underground classic. "kings row" with robert cummings. "mr. peabody and the mermaid" william powell (my favorite movie) "king kong" "the lost world" "mighty joe young" any joey brown movie i could get my hands on! wallace berry movies, loved him so. laurel and hardy my very favorite! stanley's my man. he's my idol! i can actually think like him as i write other comical stuff etc. "little rascals" need i go on? i could.

i loved setting up the projector and threading the film into it. this was exciting!

everybody loved coming over for movie nights.

i made everything under the sun, including leftovers of my grandma's soup. my mom added more to it and so did i.

three dog lived on it. they couldn't get enough. just leave it up to junie. she'll make sure you're happy.

why did danny always tell his handsome friends they could give me a kiss? i only wanted his!

we had a full bar!! primo pot. a beautiful mirror with healthy precise, well chopped lines of finest cocaine. i was good at this. pass it around or simply place it over there and help yourself! danny would be in the music room playing his latest track of a new song that the guys had been working on etc.

we had fun!!! i was doing more drugs here and there due to the fact that i felt like i was in quick sand emotionally slipping since danny was fading, couldn't hold on to him.

i snorted meth to the point where my lips were real red with a big ring around them. my tongue had bumps. this is from staying up for a couple of days. danny didn't buy it i did, just for kicks he didn't ever do this stuff. i was rebelling, and looking for attention! it only made him more distant! his pretty junie is overdoing it! not funny! i was stupid to do that to myself and him. i was starting to have anxiety attacks!! what was happening to me? my heart began to race as i was sitting down talking with important people in our living room. it was becoming too much for me! i was very insecure with our relationship. i could hardly breathe! i thought i was going to die! i couldn't control it.

anxiety attacks are terrifying! i was gonna self destruct in one spot!! help!! danny consoled me a little in the beginning. this went on for too long! danny became pissed off when i would have one. he'd say "your just looking for attention!" then he would storm out of the room. i'd really panic after that! i had no control over these attacks! couldn't he comfort me? no, hell no! this was not the danny i fell in love with! all his drug taking ways didn't help! help!! i was stuck between a rock and a hard place! regardless, "the show must go on up on lookout mountain!!!

127. jan of jan and dean!!!

what to sell on ebay to make money
it was time to take my dog ollie for an evening walk. danny is touring as usual. we walked down our two flights of stairs as usual to get to the street (lookout mt).

there are just a few street lamps and they aren't close together. there are moments of complete darkness. it was a beautiful summer evening around 8:30 pm. we'd been walking for about 10 minutes. ollie took his time relieving himself. he was always so happy and smart! i loved him too much. we went into another patch of darkness! i started to notice a faint sound. i looked all around as we kept moving. i wanted to get to the next street lamp. it was getting louder! then it started to sound like a dragging foot! i stayed tuned in to it. yes!! it was a person walking in the dark behind me!! oh my god!! is it some insane nut? who knows! i'm scared now! it's getting louder and closer!

i said "come on ollie, let's get going" he was looking back at the sound. we made it to the lit lamp and stopped to see what this person looked like! ollie started barking as you could see this figure coming into light! my heart was pounding!! i was still and observant. no leash for ollie, he was a good boy! he barked more but was wagging his tail!! this meant he could feel this person was okay! the light brings the person in view.

he had long blond hair. he was dragging one foot and one arm was hanging down dead and swinging. this was scary. i had to zoom in on his face. not bad looking! then, oh my god! it was jan of "jan and dean". he survived the accident (dead man's curve) but no one sees him. i hadn't seen him since he made the mai tai's for dean and i! that was him. i said "jan? it's june!" remember me?"

"have you seen dean?" he spoke "yes!" with a smile. (i almost fell over) good lord i do believe he does remember! then i had to be sure he was safe and ask more questions! "jan do you remember my name? look at my face! i'm june remember?" yes june, i remember" he said this in a slow slur. his voice dragged like his leg and arm! i heard on the news he was reduced to an eight year old mentally. it's not every day you run into dean walking down the street a year or so after the accident. the fact he still remembered me blew me away! i believed him!

i decided to invite him to come to my house and visit with me. he was happy to do so. i was careful, but you never know how a person is going to act after having brain damage! i was on my toes, trust me! we get to the stairs! i wondered how he would manage. he held onto his swaying arm so it wouldn't. one step at a time, easy does it. i was behind him just in case he slipped or something. we made it to the top finally! jesus, one must have patience for this! i opened the door and took him to the kitchen table. ollie sure was happy to have him in our house and so was i. i asked him if he'd like a glass of water or a coke. "sure, why not" he had to think before he said each word. slowly but surely he knew what he was saying. he of course only used one arm the other one didn't work anymore.

i felt so sorry for him. he's just damn lucky to be alive at all. i tested him. "what's my name?" he paused, he paused too long. i said june and he said, "i know june, i know" "i'm so happy to see you again jan, i'm so happy you are still alive" he said "me too i grabbed a pencil and paper to see if he could write. i asked him if he could write his name. he did, but it took forever. i praised him as if i were his teacher. oh i knew he would have all this in therapy. i asked him if he still see's dean. "yes" deans fine".

128. jans having fun at junies house!!

jan loves talking and being alive, he was always smiling. just beaming inside. i asked him "why were you walking down lookout mt. road?" he said "i live at the top of the hill". "your kidding! says i. "do you live alone?" "yes, but i have people visit me all the time" "they take care of me".

okay, he has a good set up and is well looked after, very good. i mention that i would love to come up and visit some time at your house. "okay, anytime" he said. this whole encounter was right out of a movie!! i wanted to be alone and take it easy, an hour or so had gone by, showing him pictures to him etc. didn't have any of dean and i. showed him hollywood a go go ones. well i'm getting tired, i'll walk you down the stairs" "okay" he says again, his vocabulary was limited, so what. up he stands and here i go to give him a big hug. he hugged me right back! jan's a good sized man.

he looked different now. his handsome features weren't as chiseled due to being in a hospital bed for so long and he was brought to a quick halt from the accident. one puts on weight of course. then i went to kiss him on the cheek and i'll be damned if he didn't turn his lips quick so i would kiss him on the lips! that little stinker! he still had the old playboy in him! how much do you want to bet he was horny too! why i wouldn't put it past him! now it was really time for him to go!! he might get too excited and get carried away and try to have his way with me! i must admit i was always attracted to him, what girl wasn't. he was a pretty blond elvis presley! he was that handsome no bullshit! if i didn't have and love my danny so i swear to god i might have let him touch me! oh, you know me well enough now that i wouldn't, don't ya? after all i let the groupie herpes crab incident slide, i just will always be with danny until the day i die, like we said in our oath!

anyway, i walked him down the stairs with ollie and we both sat on the stairs together as we watched jan slowly walk up the hill until he was out of sight and you could then hear his dragging foot again in the dark.

now it had become a loving, happy sound, not a scary one. i cried tears of joy and wonderment!

see, you never know what you're going to run into! this was a night i'll never forget.

129. drive he said cont;

i only had to walk up a ladder silloetted naked. last night's preparation worked! jack as you know was very understanding. and i must say, he did not come on to me or anything. he's a perfect gentleman. he knew exactly how to direct me. i was putty in his hands emotionally. he had the power to make me laugh real hard and the next, cry at the drop of a hat. i had a scene were i'm on top of bloom the basketball star of the movie. he's under the sheets bare chested. i'm laying on top of him with a sweater on and jeans. jack says "look at me junie! " i did and he was moving his hand up and down like there was a banana in it or something and was pretending to lick it real big with a long tongue and his nostrils flaring at the same time! i laughed so hard that i actually peed in my pants, i couldn't help it! you had to be there to understand it! this was the second scene i was in.

then there was a third scene were i'm rolling a joint naked on the floor. in rehearsal i'm sitting up with a pretty posture and jack says "junie? what are you doing?' " rolling a joint" he says "do you always roll a joint like that?" "no" said i. "well show how you would really roll a joint at home" i hunched over immediately. he says "thank you, and don't wear any makeup! " rehearsal went well, (i still wore a little makeup anyway, shhh, don't tell)

then on another day of shooting, a bunch of people and myself are all supposedly having too much fun getting high on pot! it really was pot! now i have to smoke pot on camera. i don't like it off camera as you well know. i also have the letters fuck stamped on my forehead! then henry jaglem (writer/actor) starts to talk about farts! i laugh real loud and silly. this is where the oriental guy says "when you're dead, you're dead! " jack's favorite line in the movie.

i asked jack if i could please let me add something else on my own to the occasion? he said okay. i said i want a close up. then i said "this is my version of a 37 year old middle aged insane woman" then i contorted my face in such a manner that i looked distorted in more ways than one! after i did this he said "june what am i gonna do when you're 37 yrs. old i'm gonna send this clip to you and see how you like it! " he meant it then, he didn't keep it in the movie, i never got it either. i'm glad he didn't. i was embarrassed. hell i'd do just about anything for more screen time. may be the last time.

on one of our days off from shooting i was informed that we are all going to go down and shoot the mc kinsey river rapids.

i'm riding in the raft with jack and robert town (the writer of " china town" who plays karen black's husband in the film) and his wife julie. there are four of us. we're all in the raft together wearing wet suits. my rubber booties were loose. the water was freezing. this is a first for me so i was a bit nervous. shortly after we started out we were moving pretty good we went right over a big rock! it tore the whole bottom of the raft wide open! come on! we were riding on the rim!! we had flasks of brandy to num us from the cold water and give us more guts! my feet were so cold they felt hot! i couldn't take much more and decided to quit! i jumped out and walked to the side of the river bank. jack robert and julie continued down the raging waters! the people of eugene do this every year. at the end of the race everyone parties. jack's face was blue when he walked in. at least he finished! partied at the pastures house (rich people) we did!

130. drive he said to me

on our next day off mimi calls me and asked me if i would like to take a drive with her and jack. they knew i was pining away for my danny. i accepted. jack had a cute old yellow volkswagen convertible. i'm sitting in the back of course. what a beautiful state this is. has all four seasons etc. gorgeous day indeed. jack and mimi were so in love! i felt like the unforeseen tagalong. we pulled over the side of the road unexpectedly. they get out and jack says to me " june, you drive" (what was this i thought) so i did. jack and mimi are in the back and i am now their chauffer. they are kissing passionately. then i hear mimi moaning in pleasure. i'm feeling embarrassed, like i'm the monkey and they're the organ players. everything should i say came to a climax! i was glad it was over! this was certainly was one the most unusual sunday drives i've ever had! this doesn't happen every day! ahhhhhhh to be in love, where's mine, damn it!

we finished filming the next day. i was so glad, i certainly did my part. poor jack had to deal with all my insecurities. we did have fun together working, i do remember him saying to me out of nowhere "june, you're so fucked up! "he would observe me. he cared. he was also attracted to me and i to him. afterall i am the younger version of mimi. slap my wrist for saying such a thing. sorry mimi, you'll always rule won't ya!

back to lookout mountain and see what's left of danny. i did not have much contact with him during the whole filming.

** by the way jack did a fantastic job directing. he wrestled with this since it was his first time. i do remember him saying "i will never direct another film again". i do believe he hasn't since.

131. elton john comes to america!!

has danny been true? i was so glad to be back home. just to see danny again was enough! he was always so busy with chuck and cory working on new songs. he was always enjoying himself at the same time. back to getting loaded again. oh well, join them or leave them, i stayed 150%.

elton john sent us his first album on tape. we were blown away by it. he came to america for the first time. he came straight over to our house! it was nice to see him again. he was humble, and blushed easily. he had a great, laugh, i know because i made him laugh a lot.

we had an old stand up piano. i asked him "would you mind doing me the honor in playing me a song?" he said "oh no not right now, i've got jet lag". i said "well, let me make you a nice cup of coffee then "i went into the kitchen as danny and elton carried on. i made him a very strong espresso!! slap my wrist!!

he drank it fairly quickly, in ten minutes he said "well, i think i do feel like playing the piano! " he played for at least an hour and half! he was tremendous! gorgeous melodies that no one has heard yet that are for the next album! just one of the best exciting moments of my life in my own house!

of course he wasn't known yet, so let's not get too carried away! danny and i took elton to lunch the next day. at this point elton's way of dressing was this; he wore blue jean overalls with ladies pink fuzzy bedroom slippers! i didn't get it but, oh well! i thought it was really off the wall! we went to the old world restaurant on sunset blvd. great coffee coolers they had. we had omelets and anything else we wanted.

we went to the trobadour club where he first played. elton dedicated my favorite song of his "sixty years on" for me. we were always backstage from then on. too much fun! real intense existence!!!

emergency!!!! my brother stewart get"s open heart!!

he was the manager at teledyne corp. he was married to a cute girl named janette. he came down with the flu. went to the doctor and they found a blood clot lodged in his heart the size of a small cigar. he was given open heart surgery. he was almost a guinea pig since open heart surgery was a new deal! he got through it with flying colors!! even the doctors were proud of him!! what a relief!!

he looked so handsome with his green eye's and sideburns. my cady lion made it! we were very close! we had a lot of fun together growing up. i don't care if he did crush snails on my back i love him very much. i'm soooo glad he's still here.

he went back to work after recuperating! yippie!!!!!

132. seeing is believing!!

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someone told me danny's going out with another woman tonight. was she the one he had in our clean sheets that i washed before my weekend vacation.

this person also told me, "they will be at the brass ring" tonight". okay, that did it! i'm on my way! this club was on ventura blvd. in north hollywood. i just had to catch them in the act! i just couldn't stop myself. i needed to see for myself.

i had to wait until at least 8:00 o'clock! what a drudgery waiting so long, i was told this info in the afternoon.

i waited until nine. i looked for "andre" (his citroen). didn't see it. went in anyway. i was on pins and needles looking around. it was filling up with people pretty fast. it was fairly dark. there was a large wooden beam to the ceiling that i chose to stand behind. i felt like a detective doing this.

there was a large group of people waiting to be seated right in front of me. they finally are taken to their table. as they finally get out of my way, i am scanning the room. i see there are three or four booths.

"oh my god!!! danny is in the second booth kissing this frizzy haired brunette! . she wasn't very good looking. she certainly couldn't hold a candle to me.

she looked hard edged. i had to get a closer look i didn't care! i wanted to make sure he knew i caught him red handed! i walked right up to them quickly. i stood there looking straight in danny's eye's and said "hi danny" the look on his face was a look of "how dare you interrupt me" "how rude" "it's none of your business" "can't you see i'm busy?" then he says "hi june." that was it!!!! can you believe that? no way? yes way! i was crushed and he made me feel like i was wrong in spying upon him. what you don't know doesn't hurt you. i wish i had just stayed at home with my ollie. i was just too insecure and immature to handle this shocking sight!

i went home crying all the way. i could hardly see to drive safely. it was uncontrollable since i was treated as a stranger by the love of my life! i'm crying more now after all these years just writing this. i'm 60 years old now! yes, i'm over danny, it took me years, 20 to be exact. i wanted children with him. i loved him too much! i don't think i can ever love again correctly.

i went home and cried myself to sleep. danny never came home. when he did, i was coloring in a coloring book just for kicks. he walks by the kitchen table and see's me doing this and says "you've stopped growing" i said "what do you mean by that?" why don't you sit down and color with me?" he turned his back to me and started walking away. i said "danny, i'm through. it's over". then he turns around and says "can't we work it out?" i said "no we can't" then he says "all right" like, (no big deal look on his face) he was just a robot! in fact i called him that, robot danny. there's a stranger in the house and it's him. cut and dried. danny took off again, as usual. 30 minutes go by as i was in a trance.

i'm sitting at the table horribly depressed and deeply broken hearted. i wished i never said it's over. good god i didn't know how to keep living with him under these conditions. drugs, booze, and no more love or attention from danny. then there's a knock at the front door. i opened it and there was this overweight tall dark haired guy with a big grin on his face. he said "hi, i'm louis paul, is danny here?", in a drawn out southern accent. oh shtt!!! no!!!

133. louis paul is here!!!!!

he's here! since danny left the premises i told him no he isn't, hoping he would just leave! but he didn't, he just stood there like a dumb cluck!

i felt like stalling him in order for him to get the hint to go away, call us later. then he proceeds to tell me how tired he and his musicians just drove for hours and hours and they are now sitting in my car sweating. "do you have a glass of water" he says. well, now i feel sorry for him. why isn't danny here to greet his next success?! so good hearted junie says "of course you can have water, go and get the rest of your friends" he did. three more hicks come stompin in. i say "oh i'm so glad you guys made it in one piece! you must be starving! would you all like a sandwich? homemade tuna?" "hell yes, that's right nice of ya". this became a regular routine for me. i entertained and fed these men all the time. i was always on auditions. i just couldn't leave danny, so i hung around to help him take care of his new group. i couldn't just leave him too quickly, i just couldn't.

danny would pop in once in a while to say hi to louis. he'd give me a nod and that's about it.

i told louis how danny believed in his voice! louis said his idol was bobby blue bland. good lord he sounded just like him. i had him sing for me. he gave me goose bumps. it was like having elvis performing for me personally all the time. he wrote his own songs (unlike three dog night). they had great simple melodies! you could actually whistle them afterwords! hits right and left. no wonder danny had to bring him out.

louis slept in the den with the piano and the old pinball machine i bought for danny's birthday. the other sweet guys slept in the car parked up the hill. i made sure to give them an ounce of pot or should i say a lid. this will make them more comfortable. then of course they have to use the restroom and take showers, i made sure they had clean towels. is there no end to this? danny did take the guys to the studio and had them put down something for gods sakes! it's about damn time!

louis watched me like a hawk! any move i'd make he would have his jaw hanging down. when i spoke he was in another world watching my lips move. i've never had such admiration for my existence. he was falling in love with me! he really made me laugh hard to where i had to gasp for air and i also wet my pants too on occasion. this was much needed since danny and i were through! he lifted my deep depression. thank you danny for bringing louis out. he saved me from having a nervous breakdown!

i'll never forget when louis said, "will you guys please go out and sit in the car, i need to speak to june. "he had to have me! he grabbed me and kissed me like i've never been kissed before! even danny never kissed me like that! then he opened my robe and gave it to me on the floor right next to the pinball machine. i'm looking at the blue wall paper with the silver stars on it that i put up! it's on one of their album covers! he was making me see stars at the same time!!! it was hot!! what is happing to me. this isn't right! is it? i was scared and felt guilty but i was aching for love and affection so let him take me now!!! my face is flushed as i'm cheating with this overweight gorgeous singer from memphis.

danny did nothing to help louis. so now i'm with him in our house?! we had a ball together! i was being worshipped with the funniest sexy clown on earth.

135. lookout mountain is coming to a head

i was a lonely beautiful woman who was just thrown away to the side like flotsam in the sea.

louis became my life savior. a breath of fresh air. louis and i ran off together! he enabled me to do so. i did not have the strength to do this alone! if i hadn't i'm sure i would have od'd one way or another! he gave me the wings to fly the coop.

louis got a room at the "tropicana motel" on santa monica blvd.. he taught me things that i never knew sexually. he taught me to flick and pinch my nipples as i sat on top of him. jesus i never even knew that nipples were sensitive. he said pinch them a little harder and then he would pump me from underneath at 90 miles an hour. i have never climaxed that big before! danny never touched my nipples before. he would just kiss me real sweet with his perfect lips and pretty white lips, stick it in and that was good enough for me. i didn't know anything else sexually. i am the naïve girl next door.

louis and i got a house together in the canyon not far from lookout mountain.

he was a great cook. he fed me so i would have the stamina to endure his large appetite sexually for me.

mentally i was a zombie. i was dead inside. just going through the moves.

i became his background singer at our rehearsals in our house. great musicians he had! the neighbors always came by to hear us. they became our instant private groupies! they were blown away with louis! his voice was monstrous!

my brother stewart found me and showed up like a walking handsome ghost! he didn't seem real! my green eyed brother found me regardless! wearing a green suit, with a distant look in his eyes

alright! enough is enough! it was time to move on. i told louis to go back to memphis! (this is the last time i'd see him)

i moved into the current black playboy bunny, joyce's apt.

i met a friend of hers. her name was kathy liel. long black hair and green cat eyes. (like the song, "green eye'd lady lovely lady" she was her. she went everywhere with me. i was popular & always had drugs, money, and my convertible volkswagen.

my clothes were stolen out of my closest on lookout. including my favorite red leather overalls! that really pissed me off! danny couldn't care less, he was too busy being danny hutton! he was really getting way too high. so was i! i wonder why!!

then i moved to beachwood drive in a cute small apt. i'm paying with my own hard earned money. then i say to myself" what am i doing?" danny should be paying for me for god's sake's after all the support i gave him sending home the rent! so i had a meeting with him and told him this isn't right at all! you should pay for me now and i want a house in laurel canyon! he paused, "okay, i'll look into it".

i found a tree like wooden house at the end of a small winding road at the top of the hills. he agreed to pay my rent. gave me a new volkswagen beetle leased. paid all my utilities, and gave me a couple of hundred dollars a week! not bad huh? i'll take it!

136. house on utica!!

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it was exciting to now have my own home in laurel canyon. i love decorating. i made a coffee table out of a brand radio flyer little red wagon. put rounded edged glass on top. had a woman's head inside a huge flower that glowed in the dark! i always loved walk through fun houses!

i got a new agency too! got a part in a movie called "journey through rosebud" directed by tom gries! he was a sweet smart director. robert forester starred. we filmed in rosebud south dakota. i was a waitress in this one. i sure liked robert. he was handsome and married with four kids.

kathy liel tell's me she's going to virginia to visit her grandmother and would i like to go. yes! i must go to memphis first. we did. i had to see louis paul.

we come to a government housing project. i could feel as we walked closer to his front door that he would be lying on the couch depressed. a woman opens the door. she was heavy set with stringy hair. "is louis here?" i asked. "yes" she says "who are you?" "tell him it's june" we walk in and she yells out that i'm here. there he was on the couch all bunched up! when he saw me it was like seeing a ghost!

we went upstairs to have some privacy. i couldn't tell him i just removed his child. i wanted to see if i cared for him at all. he kissed me and there we go again! this was an unstoppable chemistry we had! we went all the way and my climax was way over the top! i knew this is dangerous and purely physical only! well, that took care of that!

kathy and i are off to virginia! it was snowing! it was beautiful! i have a clean slate! she had a cute grandmother. kathy and i shared a bed in the separate bedroom, we're in our flannel pajama's. lights out i'm tired. it's pitch dark, i'm tired and going over my last experience with the pudgy singer in memphis. then i hear "june?" "yes kathy?" "i'm in love with you" 'what?" said i. "i'm in love with you and always have been" i say "oh come on kathy you can't be serious?" "yes i am!"

i'm besides myself! she wouldn't shut up! then i say "kathy would you please go to sleep!! " "no, she says, "not until i can at least kiss you?" ok kathy hurry up and get it over with. she crawls right on top of me and gives me a sloppy kiss! (humping me at the same time!)

this was hard for me to deal with! this is the last thing i need! didn't do a thing for me, i'm old fashion! after she got off i could see her face enough to see she was in ecstasy! how nice for her! i had no idea she was gay! she was too in love with me. i told her that i would never be with her seriously in this kind of relationship! you'll be fine without me.

got back to l.a. and she killed herself at "the beverly hills hotel" she took a pile of tranquilizers!

137. 1970

i went to dan tana's an italian resturant on santa monica blvd. and doheny in l.a.

i would sit at the bar alone nicely dressed and drink cocktails. i would throw in a fancy shooter called a "bishop's cap. the bartender told me the smothers brother's concocted this. it was a shot of cognac in a tiny tulip glass. on top was a thinly sliced lemon wedge, with a sugar cube in the middle soaked in bitters! you grab the lemon put your head back a little a chew it as a cow chews it's cud. don't swallow it. you then drink the shot of cognac quickly & the lemon slush all at the same time. wow! what a rush! i do remember doing six in a row just to see what happens! it brought me to my knees! the teeth complain because of all the lemon chewing. to have one here and there is a better way to go!

the blue grass group "the dillard's" two members, rodney and doug dillard would hang in one of the back booths. i would always join them to goof off after "the troubadour club we would all start singing "amazing grace" harmonizing drunk as skunks. these guys were natural comedians! i had a ball with them. we were good friends.

i spent a drinking moment with tom waits. he had such a raspy crusty voice! i loved just hearing him speak. he told me he had an apartment and it's loaded with parking meters, he collects them! what a trip huh?

drew barrymore jr. and i shared a few moments at the bar. he was handsome and rugged with a gray haired pony tail. i was a little attracted to him. i was too wounded and still in love with danny to get involved with anyone, that's what i realized!

danny would be in the other room reading a newspaper and having scampi. he ignored me. we had stopped talking completely after i moved to utica. there were no more words, just after side effects for me. don't think i'll ever get over him. dean stockwell & toni basil were there.

carol oconner and meathead would drop in to dan tana's.

harry dean stanton was always there. there's just too many famous people and other fascinating people mixed together. can't elaborate that much longer.

i always went home alone.

i was glad to do so and get naked and crank up the music and dance in front of my huge mirror! ollie always watched me with a bewildered look on his face. he did not like me when i got drunk. he would go under the couch or bed. he was afraid because i wasn't normal happy junie anymore, it was hard for both of us.

138. playboy mansion!!!!

after dancing on playboy after dark, hugh hefner's show that meant on going parties on charring cross road, at hef's mansion!

it blew me away!' all the playboy bunnies were there. just gorgeous girls coming out of the woodwork! all the biggest stars in the business were there too!

james cohn playing the piano as connie christie sits next to him with stars in her eyes, she was a playboy magazine playmate.

grouco marx with his last wife walking next to him. i heard he enjoyed pot believe it or not.

warren beatty was always there! i'll never forget what he said to me once, he said "june why don't you and i go out to the pool and let me suck your butt?" i was appalled! i said i don t care if you are shirley macias's brother, i would never do such a thing" then i pushed him against the wall! i wouldn't even give him credit for him being himself!

that evening later on, i see warren driving away with at least five women in his car! no way would i become a notch on his belt! he gave me his number at the beverly wilshire hotel. i never called it. he was after me for a couple of years. never went out with him. he wanted me to be in his movie "shampoo" i showed up on the location in beverly hills with my manager then. warren introduced me to julie christie with her backless black sequined long gown. she was incredibly quite beautiful! i find out that all warren wanted me to do was liven up two twin girls in the jacuzzi scene. no dialog to speak of.

my manager (jim lobe) was not happy with this or the money i would be paid. he made me leave complaining to me "you can't just do this, let's get real, we can do better i felt bad about not helping him professionally. i would have done the scene if i didn't have a manager.

mick jagger i called hef to ask him what the attire was going to be for a saturday night party. he said "june it's going to be very casual." i went just the opposite! i wore real short cut off jeans with studs all over them. a jean studded vest with nothing on underneath. tons of colorful bracelets. dyed my long hair flaming red. made my eyebrows red too! black eye makeup. i wore tall black puss & boots/swashbucklers! i looked like a science fiction biker and very sexy!!

i walk into the mansion, there's hef. he looks at me and boy did his eyebrows go up! it was as if he saw a ghost! the whole room turned to look and were just taken aback at my presentation! yes they were all casual. and yes i stuck out like a sore thumb!

i then get a glass of wine and go and sit down on a velvet couch in the theatre room. in walks mick jagger with bianca on his arm. they sit down on another couch right across from me! how nice to see mick again since the stones were on hollywood a go go. mick kept looking at me and smiling. he wouldn't stop! i got a little antsy since i was under his microscope. i got up and walked way, way on the other side of the mansion to the ladies restroom. i close the door. there's a knock on the door almost as soon as i closed it. i open the door it was mick!! i was frozen. what did he do, run! so i just played around and pulled him by the arm hard and closed the door! mick says "do you mind if i kiss you?" i said "no, i don't" he took his tongue and ran it around my mouth in big circles inside and out!! like a st. bernard would! very sloppy indeed! i could hardly catch my breath!

139. mick jagger cont

then mick says " do you mind if i pee?" i said, "go right ahead i won't look". he did, and i didn't. too bad i didn't see just for kick's what kind of package he carried. i sound cheap don't i. oh heck since i'm so crippled after danny i didn't care what happened. then there's a knock at the door. i open it up and it's bianca jagger with smoke coming out of her ears! good lord i went right under her arm and disappeared into the night in the sea of people! i didn't plan that one. but it sure was an intense get together! just sharing!

movie stars galore my job was to liven up the guests. hef wanted his people to be comfortable and relax and enjoy the party. he knew i could bring the introverted ones out of their shells.

i notice a dark haired not too tall man all alone against a wall watching everyone else. i go straight up to him. i said "hi there, what's your name?" "jimmy conners" and "my name is june fairchild, i use to dance on hef's show" then i asked him, "what do you do?" jimmy says, "i play tennis. " okay i think to myself (i had no idea he was an up and coming huge successful champion tennis player) but he we so sweet and shy i knew i made him feel better. then i got other people to say hello to us and introduced ourselves to them. he was being paid a lot of attention now. i could then go on my merry way to look for more left out people. we were nothing compared to hugh o'brian, and james cohn, you name any big star, they were there! tony curtis, need i say more!

roman polanski i made myself right at home at these parties. i spent a lot of time in the kitchen watching the chef's. my favorite was a blond curly headed sweetie pea, who's face lit up when he smiled. i liked him the best since i could have peaks in the frig. just that alone was astounding! use your imagination! i nicked named him "curley". at times i might over do the wine drinking and hef would not let me drive home. "give miss fairchild the "blue room", tonight i could relax.

then i see a familiar man at the top of the staircase, hef has two of them. i asked someone who is the man standing there? that's roman polanski! wow! really. how exciting. i've always loved his movie's. "repulsion" starring catherine deneuve. "the tenant" starring roman himself as the freaky tenant who jump's out the window dressed as a woman! you must see it! i just had to meet him! he's a genius! what an honor to do so. i went right up to him. on this night i was wearing a beautiful long dress that was nude color with sequins. i had it made for me. i said "hello, i just have to meet you, i'm your biggest fan" he says "oh yes, thank you i'm roman" so on and so forth. we made small talk, he kept it going. i could tell he was becoming interested in me!

i let him know that i was given the blue room tonight, i'm lucky hef protects me so. "i say "is it possible we meet up in a bit for a night cap?" he said "oh i don't see why not, that would be lovely". how about an hour from now? since i had the room, i'll meet you here at the top of the stairs then" "perfect, i look forward to it" he says. i'm on pins and needles. i get to spend time.

140. the calm after the storm in the blue room

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after roman left with my number in his pocket i took a deep breath. this would be a night to remember. i wasn't finished yet! since i hadn't swam in the pool yet, known as the grotto. it was about 3:30 in the morning. everyone had left. since i was a guest i decided to take full advantage of this.

i wanted to swim alone naked. i wanted to feel like a mermaid. i put on a robe, tip toed down the staircase. i ran across the back yard looking both ways only seeing peacocks.

i laid my robe on the grass and got in the water and got close to one of the water falls. i swam around to the tunnel entrance way. i swam through the tunnel and came out inside to huge cavern cave like environment. this was right out of a movie! no one was in here but me now! perfect! i'm a naked water nymph! i got up on a warm flat rock and started singing the melody the mermaid did in the movie "mr. peabody and the mermaid" ann blyth played the part. william powell finds her. my favorite movie. now i'm her singing with my toes in the swirling water. this was very magical. very private moment. i looked at myself in the water. fixed my hair. singing along, too bad there wasn't a camera to capture me in this act!

i swam around a little more like a mermaid, swam back through the tunnel, grabbed the robe, ran back to the blue room. i did it! it was like a dream! i slept for two hours. woke up just in time to go downstairs and order breakfast! i wanted to see if it's true that you really can have anything you want for breakfast! i figured there would be some other left over people i suppose everyone is still sleeping. perfect! i'm hung over i'd rather be alone. i sat down at a small glass table with two bamboo placemats. didn't want to overdo it and sit at bigger table since i'm alone. in ten minutes out comes a waiter all dressed in white! it was "curly" my friend i always talk to in the kitchen. i said "good morning curley!" he was happy to see me. _

i'm a fish out of water here, and i just got out of the pool feeling like my kindred spirit marilyn monroe!

so curley asked me if i would like some coffee, tea, breakfast of any kind? i said "no thanks, i would like, a complete turkey dinner! mashed potatoes and gravy, white turkey meat only, stuffing, cranberry sauce, fresh peas, yams, hot rolls, no butter on ice, a big glass of milk. oh yes, and a small freshly squeezed glass of orange juice. curley says "no problem june, coffee while waiting?" "why not!" said the little mermaid. i got the full boat! i ate almost all of it!

doesn't this eating scene seem similar to laurel and hardy's scenes with their wives at groden's bar? they ordered a head of lettuce, mock turtle soup, and went on and on. they didn't have a red cent! stan's my idol. i'm in love with laurel and hardy. in "way out west" stan sings my name in the blue ridge mountains of virginia! i get goose bumps every time i watch it!

after all this i returned back to my treetop in laurel canyon. ollie was waiting. i missed him, i was glad to come back to reality!

141. wearing bathing suit in the grotto

on another occasion at the mansion. it was a saturday afternoon on a beautiful day! lots of stars are having cocktails outside near the famous pool. outside tables on the lawn. barbie benton, hef's favorite girl still is playing with her new dog etc. i decided i would go swimming in the pool with all the pretty people, in the bath house there were bathing suits. i put one on and dove into the water. i went to the outside water fall. i wanted to go behind it and play. there were two girls kissing, i decided not to.

i swam around to the tunnel again. when i surfaced inside the cave/grotto, there were servants with trays of cocktails freshly made. i took one of course. when hugh hefner has parties it is cart blanch! hef told me earlier, "june the only rule around here is if anyone approaches you and wants to be with you and you say no, it's no! if they keep persisting, you come and get me! this made me feel safe. so i took a couple of sips of a screw driver. i went under water swimming by a lot of legs and hand-asses.

then as i surfaced a man came up at the same time right in my face! it was ed burns! the star of "77 sunset strip" series. i said, "cookie, cookie, lend me your comb" i had to do that to him just for kicks! he laughed! he was still cute. his series was over a couple of years ago. we talked a little, he was sweet. then i looked over at the edge of the cave and there's another movie star, lloyd bridges! he was the star of "sea hunt" his series. i said real loud, "aren't you coming in lloyd?" he said "no not right now". i love to play with famous people and make them laugh!

then this drunken hairy backed fat nobody, with gold chains around his neck, grabbed me and started kissing me and grabbing my breasts! that did it! nobody noticed, they were all too drunk kissing on the rocks! he wouldn't keep his hands of me! there were no servants! i pushed him away and said i'll be right back honey to this gorilla and ran to the back of the mansion. i found hef! he walked me back to the pool to confront this man. i pointed him out. hef says "excuse me sir, would you please get out of the pool? june told you no, she meant it. i want you to leave now! " he did. i thanked hef. he was a good friend and boss to have worked for. i still had fun anyway.

sonny bono

sonny bono was there. on my way out from a long day partying i said hello to him. i met him and cher on "hollywood a go go".

they had just broken up. he was sad. so was i over danny. he gave me his phone number so we could get together and console one another sometime. the following day he had a driver pick me up and drive me to "the holiday inn" in westwood. sonny said for me not to mention this to anyone. he didn't want paparazzi etc. the driver walked me up to his room. it was for a champagne breakfast. we were glad to see each other. we were both in deep depression and still in love with our x's! we talked for a couple of hours. we felt better for it! he is a real upstanding gentleman. no goofing around.

142. sonny cont

i have never felt so adored. he was so gentle in his touch! there was nothing dirty or wrong with our being together. he actually made me confused. i could almost think of being with him seriously! this was a very precious, private moment between the two of us! he also had a gift for me. he handed me a gold cross ring and put it on my finger. he said "this is a friendship ring for you" i loved it! how sweet! (this ring you can see in the close up shot of me snorting ajax in "up in smoke". i wore it for years and years. someone has it now. i'll get it back.

another time i called sonny because i was wearing the copper 7 to prevent from getting pregnant. it's a wire device inserted in the uterus. it was causing me a lot of pain. i called sonny to tell him of this. he sent his driver to take me to cher's gynecologist. what a relief! i'll never have one of those again! i met up with sonny afterwards to thank him for saving me! no problem, he said.

then he hands me a check made out to me for $2,000.00 dollars! gee wiz, this man's too wonderful! he said "just go to my wilshire bank and they'll cash it for you." i did, and they did. he was a life savior! a very special soul! we never took our friendship any farther than just that! we were both still to much in love with our x's.

i was on an audition for a tv series. i couldn't help to notice another woman that was waiting to audition had on a cross ring. she was right next to me. i asked her name. she said "susie cohole" or something. i complimented her on her ring. she said, "oh thank you, son gave it to me". who's that, i said, she said "sonny bono". i almost lost my breath. then i put my hand next to her's and said "he gave me one too" her eye's got real big! she had a puzzled look on her face. i guess i did too. apparently when sonny really, really likes a special lady he would give his friendship ring. shortly there after i would watch him and susie on the news saying how they were in love. i was happy for him. i just couldn't understand how he could love again, i couldn't. i still haven't correctly. i've been branded "damaged goods". poor junie.

143. singing for brian wilson

i would call brian wilson to check up on him and say hello. he threw me by saying "june would you mind if i come over and take a break. i need to get away. i need to get high. do you have anything?" of course i said, no problem. before you know it there he is walking up my wooden stairs. he looked pretty good considering how he'd gone off a little. he was overweight but still had a twinkle in his eye.

i had some cocaine, booze and tranquilizers, it was about 10:30 at night. brian and i were snorting some coke by the fireplace just shorting the breeze strictly platonic relationship we had. i started singing some oldie but goodie songs etc. then to my amazement brian says "i want to record you, i have a brand song i've written called "do drop in" let's go to my house right now. here's the lyric's" i couldn't believe this! he was dead serious! then he had me right down the lyrics as he spoke them to me. he wanted me to memorize them on the way to bellagio road in bel air. it was about 1:00 o'clock in the morning! i'm a nervous wreck! i was frantically trying to memorize these lyrics! i drove us there in my vw.

we walk in his huge house, it was dark. where's maryln? his wife? who knows, none of my business! i just had to follow through for brian. of course i was insanely excited to know i am going to be recording with mr wilson in his recording studio at his home! this doesn't happen every day! i figured go for it!

he gave me the basic melody. i've got the words in hand as he is calling up certain musicians!

then he laid down with a pillow over his head in the dark on a red velvet couch by the pool table in the lavish rec room.

i'm sitting straight up in a chair a good distance from him trying to memorize a song i don't even know! this was so intense since i'm going to make a demo within one hour in the middle of the night!

about a half an hour went by as i'm rattling my tired fried brains to get it down. i'll be working with top musicians etc. whom are in route! when brian decides to record they jump!

brian's head was buried in this pillow the whole time waiting. it was silent! i just watched brian breathe as he didn't move. couldn't he work with me a little bit more? no, he was resting. then he gets up and says "let's forget the whole thing" "i'm canceling all the musicians" my jaw was hanging, "are you sure brian?" he says "yep, i've changed my mind". i just pretended it was no big deal to me and i said "okay brian whatever you say, that's fine with me". i was in a state of shock! wouldn't you be? jesus christ, what a trip!

what a big relief at the same time! it's all over, this whim of his. i just wanted to help. i've always wanted to sing since my mother was a singer. i have a pleasant voice and have true pitch as my mom told me. oh well, maybe some other day!

i thought this as i drove back home. was this a dream? no.

it was said that brian was paranoid in regards to phil spector. mr. spector was the first musical arranger to develop a very large swimming echo effect into rock and roll! i do believe this inspired brian to go over the top with producing "pet sounds". he not only topped phil, he topped himself. a huge burn out follows. geniuses take a cheap vacation from themselves by divulging in the drug of their choice.

144. pretty maids all in a row

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i was 26 and broken hearted when i walked in to meet the famous director roger vadim. he looked like a handsome camel. he was sexy and yes, a french casanova! he made brigette bardot, catherine denuve and jane fonda.

i was weraring a transparent pant suit. i was nervous. roger said "how delightful and beautiful you are. you are the first pretty maid to be hired!" that was it! i got one of the parts by doing nothing. just had to show up! i thanked him and left!

he honored his newly hired pretty maids with dinner parties at his malibu beach house by introducing us to all his french friends and crew.

we ran on the beach with him half naked for photographer doug kirkland! the best photographer i've ever had. we had a famous layout in playboy magazine to promote the movie, " pretty maids all in a row" i remember laying my head against roger's back completely naked and making sure you could not see any private part of mine. then there's a naked shot of me from the waist up. you do see my small perky breasts. roger called them his little tangerine's. i didn't like that since he would grab one any time he felt like it. all of us knew there was required nudity for these parts in his film. we just had to grin and bear it! it seemed easy for the other girls, not me!

the night before filming my so called big scene. i called up roger to ask if he'd mind discussing a few things in order to be more prepared as i did jack nicholson. he told me to come on down to malibu and we will talk. i brought my dog ollie with me. we walk in the house and roger was in the bedroom talking to jane fonda on the phone. he hangs up. he was wearing thick corduroy pants, shirt and loafers. i'm sitting on the edge of the bed with ollie.

roger walks around the bed with this gleam in his eye and keeps approaching me by crawling on the bed to get on top of me and kiss me or something. i had to stop him by saying "what are you doing?" he on his knees with his hands supporting him and says "bright sun, (his nickname for me) tomorrow is your close up, it's time for us to be together" i said, "i'm sorry roger i just can't do that, can't we just talk please" he interrupted me and said "i will never forget you doing this to me! good luck tomorrow!" he was pissed! i was not only upset, but embarrassed for his behavior. i didn't think this would happen at all! ollie and i took off!! as i drove home i thought to myself, what's it going to be like tomorrow? i shouldn't have gone to his house at all!! i'm stupid! i guess he figured since he hired me so quickly that this was perfect timing for him to take advantage of me! well, here's a nice mess i've gotten myself into! my own fault!

145. mgm studios filming my close up

i'm up with the chickens. on pins and needles in regards to working with vadim!

this is the scene with me alone taking a polaroid picture of myself for tiger (rock hudson). i knew i had to streak my naked self in his baseball jacket. i have my dialog memorized.

vadim comes on the scene after lighting tests with me. didn't have a stand in for me for this.

he didn't give me any eye contact really, just talking to the camera man etc.

then he go's "action, rolling!!! and walked off the set! i was left high and dry! i just did it as junie wilson would. i acted as i did when i was in high school. real innocent and sweet. i did the best i could with it all alone. vadim then says, "set up for next shot!" this is where i kiss rock hudson up close. the way i said "why?" to tiger makes me sick. couldn't act my way out of a paper bag. at least i was pretty. i'm ready to really act now.

that's what can happen if you subject yourself to a director the night before shooting. must say i never gave myself for a part or any bj's etc. as many girls do. no, i'm a professional regardless. you won't last long if you do wanna be's, so don't! in fact report them to s.a.g. they'll protect you.

i was closest to gretchen parsons. gram parson's girlfriend. he wrote "lying eyes" great song along with many others. she was the maid who takes her panties off in tigers office and get's it on with the football coach. roger loved her body the most.

gretchen would take me to "the chateau marmont hotel" to visit with gram! he said "hi". that was all he ever said since he was way too relaxed and feeling too good! cool! who doesn't? so do i. in fact every time (only a few) he was always in the same shape. i was snorting coke and drinking in the living room as gretchen and gram stuck to themselves. they were really in love. he was so cute and gretchen so pretty, they made a great couple.

gretchen and i started not to like vadim too much since he was still aloof with me the rest of the filming, gretchen found him disgusting.

here's a terrible thing that happened. we asked vadim if just the three of us could go out for an afternoon. he agreed! yeah! i wanted to make up for his disappointment in me. roger got us a limo. we drove into a liquor store, it was vendome. i go in and buy some everclear 187 proof strong vodka like booze. roger thought it was regular vodka. we didn't let him see the bottle as we made the screw drivers. we made his real strong. boy he was lit!! and was he happy. we were both kissing him, he was in hog heaven!! laughing, whispering in his ears, since he was in the middle. tickling him etc.. then gretchen say's to the driver, pull over please. we had him move over to lay him down seemingly, then we opened the door and threw him out! plain and simple. gently of course. then we told the driver to take off! he did, and we left him on the side of the road!

believe it or not, we did not mean him any harm. we were drunk too! anything can happen!!

we just got tired of him having his way with us girls. gretchen and i got even!

believe it or not, we ran into vadim at a hollywood party! he was fine! like nothing happened. he was a good sport! to be honest i really had a crush on him. he was a sweet genius! my lulu, that was my nick name for roger.

146. laurel canyon partying

neighbors gary morgan i had neighbors that i loved very much! gary morgan was building a log cabin all by himself. i do believe i simply walked up his stairs and introduced myself. in laurel canyon everyone was brothers and sisters. this poured over from the sixties! i was always curious who lives here? especially living alone as i was on utica st. anyway gary morgan is very special! he's so cute. he imitates harpo marks to a ‘t'. he's also one of the top stuntmen in the business!

he's a christian! he's a comedian! he will mirror you if you stay long enough! we laughed a lot together. i would sing the snow white melody, "i'm wishing for the one i love" to him in her exact voice. he loved that! gary had so much energy it would burn you up just watching him!!! i would honk my horn every time i drove by his house each day, both ways.

i could almost visualize being with gary. we almost got it on. he put on a rubber clowns mask and hiking boots and underwear. i laughed so hard there's no way gary and i could be serious together, we made each other crack up too much. we were each other's audience.

along comes susie! looks like darla on the little rascals. they fell in love. she to a devoted christian. they are married and live in a gorgeous spanish home in the laurel canyon hills. they have wonderful new year's eve parties. shuttle busses and all. i love them both.

bobby bloom remember the song " montego bay?" that was bobby singing. his voice was just like the righteous brothers low voiced singer. i met him visiting the new york neighbors on the other side of the canyon. can't remember everyone's name, too loaded all the time. (sad huh?) i know, i couldn't help it. poured over from the 60's.

so bobby had black hair and looked like typical jewish tall handsome new yorker. he had an outrageous car that was so long it was embarrassing. like a huge long morgan stretched out. like all the rich lawyers drove at this time. (1971). here i go again, i'm attracted to him, looking for love. he liked to get up. he liked my desbutal. half desoxyn and half valium. these were real big at this time. the pill to have. he would comand me to get him some. almost threaten me if i didn't! he'd come over and say "where are they. did you gettem yet?" jesus", i said "yes! here! take them". he would then calm down and be sweet. along as we had coke and pills, he was happy!

bobby invited me to a recording session at a&m recording studio. i met his record producer jeff berry. this is one of the most famous record producer's of all time! he's the one who did all the real good "oldie but goodies"! yes! the 45 records. this man was a genius! he was another new york jew! pock marked face, tall and thin. he was very sweet to me. i was so lucky to watch him and bobby record. jeff loved bobby like a brother. bobby was a heavy beautiful singer with a huge attitude! hot headed as well.

i'll never forget the time i went to visit bobby as usual since i had a crush on him. he was out of drugs and couldn't get them fast enough. he ordered me to get on the phone and get some. i did. as the phone was ringing, bobby came up from behind me and put a knife to my throat! "hurry up" he said. i couldn't.

147. bobby bloom cont; bill medly sings like

i calmed him down the best i could. he went into the back bedroom. he was sitting on it. i was sitting on the floor stretching and he came over and picked me up by the hair! that hurt. i didn't know he was this abusive. i was a love and peace person. never in my life had i been treated like this! my parents were musical ricky nelsons etc. i cried and ran out. i will say that i felt we were going to make love for the first time, he could not get it up. he was impotent. too many drugs! i was confused! i didn't know how to help him. i've never been subjected to this! how do i get him up! i tried everything, it was dead meat! i apologized. said i was sorry. i got him loaded instead with my private stash! he was happy. drugs were his sex. too much of anything kills everything. i function just fine.

i use to stay up all night playing bobbies beautiful shiny black conga drums! i was very good at percussion since i'm a dancer. he had all the new yorkers partying to dawn. i was right in there. we were good friends bobby and i regardless of the moods. i made him laugh all the time. it was good for him. he admired me. i know that much. i still looked up to him. we'll always be friends.

van dyke parks van dyke parks and his wife durrie i met through danny since danny was a social butterfly climber. i kept in touch with everyone since we split up. van dyke called and asked if he could come over and visit? of course! i gave him some goodies and a cocktail etc. since i'm the hostess with the mostess! van dyke is an upper crust intellectual, at least i know his wife was. high society. hankcock park resident's etc. van dyke is a genius pianist. not commercial since he's way over everybody else's head. very advanced. hell, you could hardly understand him with all the big words he'd throw in. i got the gist though. van dyke did the movie score for the movie "popeye" with robin williams. he was at all of danny's private recording's etc. and he did not think of the name "three dog night", i did!!! i don't lie. you all know how i thought of it. now, let's put that to rest! you got it mr. parks?

so, van dyke's sitting on my victorian couch in front of the little red wagon coffee table writing on a tablet of paper. i'm in the kitchen rambling on to him about something. maybe, how's danny? then he starts to slur his words. i said "what are you saying?" i go over to him and look at the pad he's writing on and it's just scribbling! there was a hazy beginning sentence then it turned into chicken scratches! i thought "oh, oh!", we're in trouble. he must have dropped a few goodies of his own! well now i have van dyke nodding! then he passes out! oh my god what should i do? call his wife and report! on the phone i say "durrie, van dyke is passed out!" she said, "just send him home". "no durrie, he can't drive! he's taken too much of something by mistake to relax and he's od'd! he's dead weight, i can't carry him"

she said "just send him hone!" i hung up and he wasn't waking to being slapped with a bag of ice. yelling in his ear! to heck with this! i called an ambulance! he had a rude awakening! but for heavens sakes, i care about van dyke! he must be cared for! one point for junie. i've been close to od'ing myself, a couple of times. had to be walked around my living room, or thrown in the shower! i know he performs in vegas etc. would love to see him again!

148. bernie cornfield's parties

bernie cornfield had parties in his mansion not far from hefner's scale. hef's were bigger of course. but a lot of stars went to his house. tony curtis, just to name one. bernie looks like a gnome! those little elf like creatures. he's rich! don't know much about him or what he does. i don't or didn't care! just didn't want to miss out on any parties! i met a handsome blond named chad harper. he had real blue eyes. had on a double breasted suit. i was impressed! i was attracted. what else is new!

chad was an architect. he was like a butterfly. i made him laugh real easily. we called ourselves mr. and mrs. blue! because of our eyes. it ends up his girlfriend barbara weston, now known as barbara eaton! actress! sweet, funny, hospitable hostess. tons of wine on hand from her sugar daddy. her mom gave her the house. (must be nice, mine was only leased) anyway i got drunk with her and chad a lot. even crashed in her bed here and there. boy could she cook. everyone loved going to barbara's. she came to my house to! chad was always over. we weren't involved sexually we had too much fun goofing off and smoking angel dust just for kicks! i've never seen a man laugh as hard as he did, which made me laugh even harder. i miss him. i've lost touch with everyone.

paul figen parties paul figen was a lawyer. he had one of those ridiculous cars like bobby did. he sort of looks like a handsome rat in a suit! he was always polite and sweet. he would always say to me when i showed up "hello great dancer!" he was very sweet and really meant that compliment. i'd always dance real hard at all parties, i love it too much! i never stayed too long, i could only spread myself so thin.

chuck nergron and julia, lead singer for "three dog night". i would always drive up to appian way and visit chuck and julia. what i'm going to say now has been said by chuck himself in his own book "three dog nightmare" i'm in it to (three times) their drug of choice was heroin. hey, i liked it tool i did it with them, or bought a little here and there. they didn't sell it really, maybe only to a couple of friends like me! they were a great team together. julia use to be with john densmore of "the doors" she fell in love with chuck! i went to their wedding at the bel-air hotel it was very classy. julia was pregnant with chuckle jr.

this was gettlng hard for chuck dealing with danny and cory. those three egos do clash at times. things were going down slowly with the group. even the musicians were complaining on how they get less money than the singer's. who wouldn't get high with pressure. so we snorted it here and there so what, (nobody's business) as i just tell you. slap my wrist!

i love chuck for putting up for me and my drunkenness over the years. and julia is a sweet good woman! i love her too!

julia told me that at one point they sold their neighbor's lawn chairs so they could get high, what a trip. oh well, whatever it takes! that's my motto. to each his own. you're not hurting anybody else!

149. michael pollard

there's a knock on my door. i open it. it's the guy that acted in "bonnie and clyde", michael pollard. what the heck is he doing at my door? i say "hi, aren't you michael pollard?" he says "yes". "well , what do you want?"

he said, "is this house for rent? " i'm looking to rent a house and i like the way this one is tucked away at the end of the street" i told him how i can maybe help him and to please come in. you know me, i always want to find out what makes someone tick! how exciting that i have him in my home, like a surprise treat or something. like having unexpected flowers sent! he was a special package from god himself! so i offered him coffee, ice tea, coke, beer, cocktail etc. (no drugs, i'm not that stupid)

we talked of ways to find a house. i gave him my real estate woman's number etc. then i noticed the time. i had a brain storm, since i have a doctor's appointment in one hour from now. maybe he'd like to come along for the ride. 1 was also curious to see if he would and if so, what a trip! i asked, he thought about it. i told him how my dr. lee seigel is famous. his clients were judy garland and marilyn monroe! he actually said okay! far out! off we go. i'm driving.

i could tell michael was painfully shy. he was cute. then he started acting a little paranoid going through beverly hills on sunset. i don't know why. he was getting antsy, maybe he was getting anxiety i always do? now i know why he wanted my house! it was private, and hard to find! he's a loner and wants to keep it that way! make's sense!

we walk in the office. i have him sit down, i look down the hall, there's brian wilson on the scale, i yell "hi brian! " he waves. so michael's in the waiting room, waiting for me. this is different.

i go in and see my much trusted dr. lee seigel. he wouldn't give me tuinals that were oral to protect me. he gave me suppositories. you can't od as easy.

dr. seigel liked me enough to not mind introducing me to his son. not my type. i told him there was a famous actor outside, michael pollard etc. he said, "bring him in, i'd like to meet him". they did. that made dr. seigel happy and his nurses too! pearl used to give me shots of b12 and pregnant women's urine. it helps keep you skinny. that was it! michael was glad to get back. gave him a little hug. i sure loved it in bonnie clyde when michael eats the hamburger in the car scene. my life is out of a movie.

150. back to the tree house

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since i was drinking at least a half, of a 5th of vodka or tequila a day, danny sent me to a psychiatrist. it was all becoming too much! my hangovers were horrific! danny knew i was partying too much! he cared. i heard he would cut me off if i didn't cool it! so i found one on bedford drive in beverly hills! his name was dr. sherman.

when i first walked in i didn't like him right away. he cost $75.00 an hour. i knew to give it my best since i'm being backed financially. all he did was asked how i was feeling. i told him my story and what had happened to me. i told him i partake in liquor and drugs occasionally. his diagnosis was manic depressive. that made me more depressed hearing that! i always left more depressed every time. so i was given a drug called mellaril! the worst stuff on the planet! it made me feel like i weighed 400 lbs. when i closed my eyes i felt like a small chicken in an egg. my eyes were extra black when i closed my eyes. it was very scary, hard to explain side effects. i took myself off of this stuff within a week.

i started drinking and getting back to so called normal for me. i woke up to a ringing phone next to my bed. really wasted, it was dr. sherman saying "where are you? you're late". he said "it's important that i see you three times a week" he wouldn't let up! i agreed to come in just like i am. so i got in the car in my blue bathrobe and drove to his office in beverly hills.

i walk in all confused and pj's my bathrobe with shades on! i said "here i am" "what do you think of how i look?" and then i sat down and started crying in my hands before him! he said the magic words "would you like to go to the hospital and take a rest?" i said "yes, god yes!"

i went back home. i called danny and asked him if he would please take me to the hospital? he said "what do you need me for. why should i have to drive you?" i said "it would make me feel better" he finally agreed, it was like pulling teeth.

it the psychiatric ward on the third floor. just to walk in danny had to pay $100.00. then after that it would be $300. 00 a day! oh well, if danny could have behaved we wouldn't even be here. we'd be at the house we were dreaming of that was the hansel and gretel on little laurel canyon blvd.

people came to visit me, including fred roos himself. that was nice of him. remember? cindy william's man. i shared a room with a young suicidal girl, before you knew it i was leading the group sessions. i was actually thinking of becoming a psychiatric tech.

anyway i stayed two weeks. i figured all i had was too large of a hangover when i entered and all i needed to do was dry out! i'm just fine now. gained weight and everything! no more shrinks for me. danny was aloof and quiet in the car all the way there. where's the compassion? he couldn't show this! i guess the temporary wallet did!

151. harry nielson

i met harry neilson at a party at ringo starr's house. ringo would surface here and there to talk to people. ringo was like a spoiled cartoon character of some sort. he pretty much looked right over me. but i made a point to have him give me at least some quick eye contact! he did. big deal!

then here comes in a happy go lucky, bouncing on his feet like a surfer guy, harry neilson! he wrote beautiful songs, had a gorgeous singing voice. i loved his music. i was real excited to meet him! i stayed till late. i wanted to hang out with the big boys just for a little bit. mostly everyone was gone, maybe five people were left. now i'm sitting at the bar tooting lines of cocaine and drinking cognac with harry and ringo alone! big deal! i always gave that attitude to make sure they could relax! that way i could observe, i always want to know what makes people tick. i just watched these two guys shoot the breeze. they looked at me here and there and gave me little smiles as i snorted their finest coke and drank expensive cognac. i guess i was at least nice to look at if nothing else! they didn't really talk to me but i would throw in my two cent's from the peanut gallery just for kicks! ii made them laugh a little with a look on their faces saying "who is this woman?" i just had them entertain me really. they didn't seem to give a shit. i'm not a threat. there weren't any sexual overtones that for sure. they had their women. we were just getting loaded period! what's wrong with that? nothing!

i gave harry my phone number. i went and visited him at "the beverly hills hotel" for lunch. i don't remember much. we never kissed each other and he never made any attempt to get me in bed. what a relief. i never want to go to bed with anyone. i was attracted to him. i actually deep down wouldn't have minded if he was a gentlemen about it. i might consider. he was cute with his blond hair and brown eyes. he resembled a surfer to me. a rock and roll surfer, with class and eccentricity. he was funny too! laughed easily.

i told him that when i act on camera, there isn't one, it might as well be a radio, it doesn't exist! well harry said "you're a geniusl" he looked up to me as we spent more time, drinking and going to parties together. i was his drinking companion, nothing more. we were running mates.

now it was my turn to take harry to one of hef's parties. he wanted to go. remember women can never come with a man unless they are famous. i always went alone. now that i had harry in my clutches, i asked hef if i could bring harry! hef said of course and looked forward to meeting him.

when we walked in harry's hit album is playing all throughout the mansion. everyone was forewarned obviously. harry was the star guest for the night!! i let harry and hef get acquainted and visited the regulars etc.

after a while i went to check on the men. now they are playing chess!! hef's in his p.j's of course. this was going to be a long night.

then i take notice of my new found friend alexandra hay, the actress. i met her on "where angels go trouble follows". she arrives on jack haley's arm dressed as scarlett o'hara in "gone with the wind". big hoop dress with roller skates on! oh my god she was just gorgeous and stole all the attention! what a night to remember. hef sent us back home in his limo!

152. another party

jerry, the lead singer of the group "america" had a party. i knew danny would show. talk about a die hard, that was me pertaining to daniel.

jerry was an extremely cute guy! he gave me his chinese jacket he was wearing since i liked it so. gretchen parson (gram's girl) walks in. gave her a hug. her beloved gram parsons died from an overdose. this was a shock to everyone! gretchen would never be the same without him. we truly lost a genius.

i decided to introduce gretchen to danny, since he was here. the sparks flew between them. it's good for her to keep busy and meet new people.

now when i would go to visit danny at our dream house, gretchen would always be there, she even called his new car "stanley". i only knew andre and brutis, his other ones. she was actually with him for about a year!! she grew tired of danny's continual bingeing and couldn't do it anymore. she decided to clean up her act. i didn't!

hawaii and tokyo with harry neilson harry invited me to go to hawaii with him. i accepted. he bought me some electric rollers in the beverly hills hotel drugstore. richard perry shows up. he's going too! he produces the pointer sisters. he was with june pointer later for quite some time.

elvis presley was performing at "the forum" in hawaii, it was his first satellite concert! we went! it was too bad we weren't closer, we were more than half way back. i wanted to see every hair on elvis's head.

he was wearing a white studded jump suit! he was gorgeous! his features were chiseled and handsome. i heard he lost weight just for this special night. loved the big "elvis" name behind him in lights! it was a spectacular event! i was very lucky to be there, thanks to harry and richard!

harry and i were platonic. we had separate beds at the hotel. i didn't go into why he never made any attempt to come on to me. who cares, no big deal to me, my hearts still with you know who.

bobby bloom told me to take my passport, i did. (iceland/dan).

the next morning harry asked me if i would like to go to tokyo? he's meeting with the president of victor records. harry's "neilson, smeilson's" album was coming out in other words this is a promotional business trip! i accepted! how exciting.

we took the midnight red eye flight, that takes 10 hours nonstop to get there! we were fried when we got there. i drank too much as usual and didn't sleep much.

there were hundreds of photographers waiting for harry! i didn't know he was so big in tokyo!

harry and i check in. i was on some pink uppers harry gave me. harry takes off for business. i call danny to say hello. i told him i missed him. he said "can't you enjoy yourself?" i came down with the flu. called dr. seigel. he gave me a prescription.

153. tokyo cont;

now harry decides to come onto me. okay, let's do it! harry broke into hives! he couldn't continue! i guess i made him nervous or he just for some reason couldn't have sex with me! oh well!

harry gave me money to go shopping to buy whatever i wanted. he told me to get something for my mother as well! how sweet!

i took a little black cab with little white doilies on the back seat. everything was scaled down for the size of the japanese.

i bought a three piece suit. arms were too short and so were the pant legs. i bought two kimono's, one for me, one for mom.

harry met up with me to buy "the beatle's" children toys since he was very close to them.

it's time for the big business dinner with the president of victor records. there was one real long table with pillows all around it. all these people showed up, photographers and all!

i drank a lot of hot saki! i got a very good buzz! i got up and danced with one of the kabuki dancer's. i was told after that this is not allowed. i was embarrassed! it was a very special moment for harry and i was lucky to have been there.

keoto now we are off to the capital of tokyo. we were on the bullet train!

harry gives me something. i took it. it was acid!!! oh no not again, i hate acid!

the train stewardesses seemed to shrink before my eyes. they all had real squatty bodies. they started to resemble midgets! it was the acid coming on. the rug on the aisle was starting to move and so was the design on it! help! here we go! richard is in the seat in front of us! he's filming harry and i just sitting there on lsd! this was making me a little paranoid! i made the best of it and had cocktails. i never knew trains could go this fast! this was 1971! these people sure are advanced!

can't remember much more.

i was glad to know it was time to go home.

harry was starting to be mean to me. every time i'd say anything he would mimic me in a negative voice! harry was snapping all of a sudden! yes! let's get home please!

i heard harry had a problem similar to barbara streisand in regards to clamming up in performing live. harry got anxiety attacks and could not perform! i suppose that's why he broke into the hives in dealing with having sex with me. maybe, who knows?

harry died of a heart attack a few years later.

he was a true genius! beautiful melodies he had inside of him. "can't live if living is without you, can't give, can't give anymore!" what a beautiful song that was. it was my favorite!

154. i burned down the house!!!

i'm back to laurel canyon. i missed dollie and my treehouse! what a relief to sleep in my own bed again!

i was wiped out from that grueling flight back. i took a tuinal to help sleep since i was overtired wired! i smoked a cigarette and passed out.

something woke me up! i turned my head to the left on the pillow and there was a black hole with binders down below!

oh my god! i jumped up and ran down to the phone in the living room! i wasn't awake to think fast. i called bobby bloom! i told him what i saw! he said to look back down the hall, what do you see? "i said the flames are now reaching the ceiling! he said call the fire department. i did and ran out the door leaving it open! this caused a back draft! the fire raced through the house after me! i'm outside at the top of the stairs looking down at my ollie dog at the bottom with the expression "what the heck in happening? i was in my tie dye nightgown! i starting yelling "run from your houses". i was worried about the other homes. i screamed it over and over again! ollie and i went to the neighbors down the street and i had whiskey! i could have burned up too! what woke me up? it just wasn't my time to go yet obviously! i didn't even get burned on my face! one more minute and i would have!

the next day i go back in borrowed clothes and saw the firemen walking down the stairs with pictures of me in their hands!

my house was a shell!

all my clothes were burned. everything else was destroyed! except for one thing. all my pictures were okay! i had tons of family photo's and 8xi0's etc. there were just a few singed. can you figure that one? they were underneath my clothes in the closet! since when paper doesn't burn. they were not to die yet either! they are suppose to go in this book! destiny! i did lose my high school annuals, they were in the living room. i'm still here! amazing"

155. house burns down, im cut off financially!!!

ollie and i were more than welcome to move in with jimmy kardashian. a smart and real funny armenian! his father was don kardashian. he owned "the kardashian garbage truck co. " jimmy and i were friends for a long time since he was a friend of danny's before we broke up.

jimmy rented a house practically right next door to danny and our hansel and gretel house.

jimmy gave me the spare bedroom. he gave me a flannel pajamas long night shirt like laurel and hardy.

ollie and i were safe! ollie and i were also broke since danny cut me off financially. boy, this was hard to take living next door to the love of my life. what a bad setup. i had no other choice. i felt better being closer to danny regardless. i'd drop by off and on.

jimmy was danny's limo driver! danny bought one for himself!

danny continued having a ball right next door and making a ton of money off their gold records! three dog were very successful at this point.

jimmy was so sweet to take me for drives anytime danny wasn't using the limo.

he even drove me back to el segundo to visit my first boyfriend gary jack, the one who bought ollie for me! i swear to god when i walked in, gary was on his bed with an arm over his head. he seemed depressed. he looks at me as if he'd seen a ghost! he had a picture of me in his hand. how could i walk in just as he was reflecting on us being together? it's been about 9 years since i'd see him. i just wanted to blow his mind and let him know i didn't forget him. good timing huh?

"thunderbolt and lightfoot" i still had my agency. i went on audition to read for a brand new clint eastwood movie!

i got the part of the hooker, gloria. this was filmed on location in great falls montana! it was wide open pristine god's country! jeff bridges was starring along with clint. catherine bach had a good sized part. she was the one who brings me to the motel as a gift from jeff bridges. i was a bootie call hooker.

as soon as i arrived i went straight to the bar in the hotel. there was catherine bach sitting there. i joined her. i told her my horror story about losing my house that wasn't even mine. just leased. i told her how i hadn't any clothes or my own place to go home to. we drank to that and being lucky to be working on this movie. catherine is a very down to earth beautiful woman. we became fast friends. exchanged #'s etc. time to film my scene. i'm stark naked. i'm to get it on with clint eastwood. why did clint get to wear nude underwear and i didn't? the final cut only shows clint from the chest up and me from the neck up. i guess the crew needed a little show? "no, we have to do a european version" take off your bra and panties. i said "really are you sure?" "yes, it is a must."

i had to run outside and scream rape! in my bra and panties and do it again completely naked! i was so embarrassed! i saw the naked picture of me screaming rape in playboy magazine for promotion.

after filming all day, clint says "can i drive you back to the hotel?" i accepted since i was so tired.

156. clint and i in the hotel room!!!

i was worn out in general from what i'd been through. now, i'm pooped from making love to clint all day under hot lights!

clint drove me back to the hotel in an old corvette convertible. i was excited to be driving with him alone. i forgot all my troubles for a moment.

we are walking passed his room to mine then he stops me and asked "would you like to come to my room and have a little stolichnaya vodka?" actually that sounded okay to me, i was overtired, wired.

we sat at a small table drinking straight vodka on ice! we talked for at least an hour. i told him everything that happened to me. he then told me about how his first wife supported him and how he used to be a gas station attendant.

i got up and sat on the bed to relax my back as we continued talking. i wasn't coming onto him at all. he was just a good listener and acting partner.

i went to sleep with a smile on my face. i was happy that they let me keep the red dress i wore in the movie including the shoes! this is the beginning of building my new wardrobe again as i've had to do before a few times!

i loved the way clint took time to listen and be my soundboard as i did with him. we needed to do so. at least i did for sure.

i had just burned down my only home, i had no home to go to or clothing, clint helped me to forget this completely for a while.

the house was only leased, i was homeless and stayed with friends.

157. big bob small mercedes

what a silly title for a chapter. i'm being facetious! i met robert sullivan through danny.

i went out to "the rainbow bar s grill" on sunset blvd.. been going there for years. next door is the "roxy". been going there and "top of the rock's", the private members only bar upstairs over the "roxy".

i'm upstairs dancing and drinking making the best of it. danny was way up too drunk as a skunk lying down hiding. all i did was wave and say "are you okay danny?" he didn't answer. i just couldn't deal with him being that wiped out! plus we really didn't talk too much anymore. but i kept a small eye on him if i knew he was around.

i went to the lower bar and grabbed a beer with a shot of vodka. (boiler maker) i'm getting ripped too! it's been my lifestyle for years.

robert sullivan pops in! i figured since i'm single and always liked bobby's style, i think we should get together!

bobby had a good sized belly on him and a beard. he was a rich kid. his mother and father were friends with the kennedy's. he was on a trust fund since they were deceased. it get's larger as he gets older. he'll never have to worry ever again! i simply was happy to see him and asked him if we can get together sometime. he agreed.

he came to pick me up two days later at jimmy's house. he gave me a present. it was the first rolex watch ever made for women! i couldn't believe it! it was beautiful.

he then asked me if i'd like to move in with him. he moved to laguna beach. i said yes!

he was like a prince or something to me at this stage of the game!

i didn't have to pack much. i thanked jimmy for his hospitality and off we went!

he had a great little house not too far from the beach. he lived in three arch bay! a private community. you have to show id to the guard at the station as you pull in to get in.

bobby took me shopping el pronto! fancy panties and beach outfits you name it! i've truly been saved! a new lease on life!

believe it or not i told bobby there will be no sex until i'm ready. six months had gone by! he was getting impatient! i just wanted it to be right! he was a gentlemen and waited.

then i let him have me. it was very good chemistry between us. we were happy and having lots of fun!

he took me to lake tahoe to meet his best friend mart hills, hills brother's coffee's son!

mart had a log cabin house right on the lake, pretty as a postcard!

mart's fiancé janice (ex stewardess for the airlines) was a little snooty to me. her claws were out to protect her biggest fish she'd ever caught. she was smart and calculated. i'll never forget her finding me alone in a room while the guys took off. she flings open the door and says "you don't even know who you are!" as cold as ice! i was super sensitive at this point. not all that strong, but i certainly knew who i was and loved myself! she can't hurt me! i always have worked hard all my life and i'm not finished yet in fulfilling my destiny!

158. bobby sullivan cont;

bobby then introduced me to his best friend in la. this was danny briggs. his mother was mitzi briggs. she was stouffer chemicals. she was extremely wealthy.

bobby drove me in his new baby blue snail mercedes to mandeville canyon!

danny lived there in a most impressive home, pool and all. all his furniture was top of the line.

he had a red ferrari too!

bobby told me that mitzi had just bought him an island for his birthday.

i've never been associated this closely to the upper crusted rich high society. i felt beneath them. they knew i was just a pretty actress struggling to make it like all the rest of them. my blood wasn't the same color as there's blue! you can feel the don't want to spend too much time with such commoners such as i. but bobby was cool and really was smitten with me. they all began to accept me.

bobby spent lots of money on me and loved doing so!

mitzi also owned "the tropicana hotel" in vegas!

mitzi lived in palo alto. she always wore the same black and white suit! why? to each his own.

i liked mitzi. she was a very sweet devoted mother to her danny. she had others. there was coachie briggs, who lived in a castle up north. he was funny, eccentric and real spoiled. he reminded me of the actor who played teddy roosevelt in "arsenic and old lace" cary grant comedy feature film.

mitzi had invited bobby and me to come up to palo alto for patty hurst's birthday party.

there she was, sitting on a beautiful couch. i went right up to patty hurst and said happy birthday to her. she was very pretty and gracious, this is after the patty hurst terrorist business! i was glad to see her safe and relaxed and back in the environment she was use to! i was so impressed in this whole new world. i've never ventured into before, i felt like cinderella. it was so unreal!

then we went to "the burlingame" private association dinner. this was the stuffiest array of high society i've ever experienced! i was self conscious as to what fork should i pick up now? they all looked side to side to have such an unknown character as me breaking bread with them. i was sweating bullets! i was dressed to the nines, but they could still see through me!

i started to drink more glorious fine wine! i was getting loaded thank god. i got loose enough to relax and then begin to entertain them. i just told stories and made faces etc. and they all cracked up! then they were loosening up and got more relaxed and started telling silly stories as well. they got drunk. we all got drunk and had a ball! see these people are just like us regular folks, the only difference is they're rich!! oh well, they can't help it if they were born into it! we must take this into consideration!

i was always privately relieved to get home and not have to sit so straight all the time and watch how i speak.

159. 1976 or so - pcp exsperience

bobby and i also lived together at shoreham towers apartments. off sunset blvd. lined up with "the old world restaurant".

bobby was always busy dabbling scripts to produce with danny briggs.

i was always going on auditions. i also got a job in beverly hills working for allen austin. he had classy clothes with lots of gabardine dress slacks and high leather boots and gorgeous jackets.

jaclyn smith ("charlie angels") always came in to visit, since she was involved with allen at the time, she's pretty and private.

i sold eight pairs of riding boots to alley mcgraw. she was shopping for her double on a film. alley was with steve mcqueen at this point.

it was good for me to keep busy and have my own money. it was hiatus for the film business. i had more time on my hands.

i dabbled in doing acrylics on canvas.

i dabbled in drugs still. i gave pcp a couple of evenings just to see what it was like.

i was given a bag of this animal tranquilizer. i was the guinea pig. stupid me.

i smoked some with the house secure and no interruptions. i went to my closet and was looking for a shirt in a huge pile of laundry. i got lost in this pile of laundry! do you believe that? i must have been in there for at least 30 minutes! i was tripping out on colors and fabric design! i couldn't find a way out of this pile.

you have a whole other point of view on reality on this stuff!

for example, i know how it feels to be an insect! when you reach a certain point you can't think or speak. pretty much like a zombie. yes! an embalmed zombie! no brain cells at all! i felt i had wings and could almost fly!

then the news came on tv and i could not understand a word of english! our language is not as pretty sounding as french or spanish. i felt like a foreigner from another part of the world.

then i opened up the curtains and sunset blvd. had changed completely as if it was reconstructed!

i went and got into the shower for a long time. water and pcp go together. i became nothing more than a plant that needed lots of water with a smile.

i went swimming naked in the outside pool! thank goodness.

160. the student body

bobby sullivan is always busy and never around. i read for a b movie called "the student body" ed carlin produced it. gus trikonis directed (goldie hawn's first husband). he was a good looking high powered compacted greek genius.

this movie was on location in kansas city missouri. it was hot with loud buzzing locusts in the air. i felt plugged into to a generator of some kind having to live under them. they weren't right over your head but since they were so loud from a distance, it seemed like it.

i played one of the three leading part's, we were taken from women's prison to become guinea pigs on an experimental drug to rehabilitate us.

my character "mitzi" was raped by a priest as a young girl. this is why i'm into penguins'. i have a penguin fetish; funny, isn't it? no real embarrassing. i wish i'd never done this movie. i certainly couldn't act. i've only had small parts in "a" movies.

i was also too screwed up to concentrate on anything to begin with! i was traumatized by my personal life.

i was glad to get back home. bobby said hello and left again. bobby was cheating on me. i felt it. why am i always alone? i'm nice loyal woman.

i smoked some pcp just for kicks. i couldn't sleep. felt a little paranoid from it. i called gus trikonis. i asked him if he'd mind if i came over so i'm not alone right now. (i hardly know gus, only worked with him). he said to come over. i did. i walked in with flannel pajamas and a jacket over them.

gus was in bed sleeping. didn't want to make him talk. i asked him if it's alright if i lay in his bed to rest and be silent. he pulled back his clean fresh white sheets and in i jumped. i actually couldn't believe i was doing this. i was unsettled inside because of bobby being gone and the pcp didn't help!

so now i'm laying quietly thinking that i should share with mr. trikonis that i was on pcp.

it was pitch black! then i said, "gus?, my hands feel like chicken's feet! he was silent and had to think about this. then he said, "really, and laughed!" he went to sleep and i couldn't so i sneaked out and went back home. i felt better at least.

what an interruption for poor gus trikonis. he sure was sweet to let me come over at 3:00am in the morning and put up with this.

gus told me that i was very similar to his wife goldie hawn in many ways. what a compliment.

he was a complete gentleman and never touched a hair on my head. he was concerned about my mental state of being. not many people would go out of their way to do this. he's one of a kind.

stay away from angel dust, it's very dangerous. i was so stupid to have ever had any. luckily i'm okay to this day and will always be drug free unless prescribed.

161. mae wests last movie sextette

my man bobby sullivan and danny briqgs produced mae west's movie she wrote called "sextette! " mitzi briggs sold her share of "the tropicana hotel" in vegas! produced by brigg's and sullivan. harry weiss and warner toub were also producers and attracted to my handsome brother jerry.

i remember when i was a little girl bouncing on their knees and given presents to get into my brother's pants? now i've grown up! we meet again!

warner and harry made sure to give me a part in this film. i was given one line of dialog spoken to mae. i was a reporter. it was "do you get a lot of proposals from your male fans?" warner told me you will be paid $2,000. 00 dollars for this! don't tell the other actors a word! i was being way overpaid. this way i couldn't pick on them i guess. i didn't bring up the past and just let it go.

paramount studios is where it was filmed.

i wore an $800.00 suit that bobby bought me, made by gunn tregere! i loved this designer he was cute, old and classy crispy.

mae west to see mae west from a distance on the set blew my mind. that was really her! i actually saw her shoe's before filming. they were white lifts. about 5 inches high! made of wood to give her height. she was very small in stature. she needed help this way.

as she was going through her line's they would feed them to her by a small microphone in her right ear.

paul novak, her bodyguard weight lifter was always close to grab her arm so she wouldn't fall. when mae had to walk on camera everyone held their breath hoping she wouldn't fall! she was 91 years old at this time, no one could mention this but i am now.

she had an extra hair piece that she wore on top of her head to make it look fuller, who wouldn't? and taller. she was smart as a whip!!

it took forever filming this one scene i was in. i don't know how many takes they took with all the hahray song for hollywood dancers to be perfect etc..

everyone under the sun was in it!

timothy dalton was her love interest who wants to marry mae. he was so young and handsome, which just isn't believable since mae is so much older. mae gets her man still doesn't she?!

i'll never forget timothy dalton stopping me on a filming break and said "it's always a wonderful thing to watch a woman that knows she's beautiful" i thanked him. i kept forgetting i'm that producer's girlfriend and that's why all those huge stars are kissing my butt! nevertheless, he made me feel good, god! he's handsome! those electric blue, could be worn on your fingers, never take those off.

ringo starr's in this film too! so we meet again. now i'm having dinner with ringo and my boyfriend bobby and danny. they asked ringo "what do you think of june?" he said "she's always behind these glasses going yat ta ta yat ta ta! " that's all he said. he's a very spoiled sweet man ringo bottom line. his wife barbara bach the gorgeous actress calls him richard.

dom deluise was in the studio looping his lines. i went in to watch. after he was done he said "june, you have the gift of making people feel very comfortable", he meant that and wasn't that nice of him.

keith moon plays the gay wardrobe man. he's "the who's drummer. he was the best actor in the movie i thought, he stole the show.

similar to michael jackson giving money and gifts to younger boy's parents to borrow!

162. dinner with mae west

bobby told me to get ready, we're going to dinner with mae at "the la restaurant" off la cienega blvd.

they have been airing out the bon bon bottle of chateau lafite rothchild wine, it took two hours. price? $1500.00. my favorite. bobby, danny and mitzi and myself included always had this wine.

it's not every day one gets to enter a restaurant with mae west! i was right behind her! the whole restaurant stood up and applauded! a standing ovation for miss west! always on paul's arm she could smile and feel safe, he watched her like a hawk! this was his beloved women also. he was the only one she could trust!

i must have drunk half the bottle it was so delicious! (not really) i was sitting right across from mae. i said to her after a while, "would you mind if i ask you a question?" she said "oh no not at all". she liked me since i was a small chested brunette so i was no threat, i was also the producer's girlfriend! no good looking stacked blondes were allowed anywhere near her.

i asked mae, "what is your key to success?" mae said, "oh no problem, you see i'm real boring in real life, so i made up the walk and the talk and wrote all my scripts!". i thanked her for that one. she looked straight into my eyes with her cutting steal blue eyes. oh boy! they were lethal! she's no dummy she's a genius! she thinks she's still 19, i was told from some little bird. this info stay's with me forever! i'm so lucky to be around her. we had dinner at hermitage restaurant another time.

we had dinner at her favorite restaurant in china town downtown la. forget the name. perino's restaurant was another haunt of mae's. more chateau la fite wine! steak dianne, you name it. caviar on small rounds of rye toast with chopped egg! really darling!!!!!

mae put on lipstick and powdered her nose, only at the dinner table. it was safer.

"ravenswood apartment's" - mae owns it

bobby and i were invited by mae to come to one of her psychic readings with dr. richard ireland. very famous one indeed. she just believed in him and they were close friends.

bobby and i were seated right in front of mae and paul. this took place in the big room next to the lobby downstairs. i would always crane my neck to look around at mae and give her little smiles and faces of wonderment.

we were all asked to write three question's of importance to yourself. i asked these, 1. will i ever get married? 2. will i have a child? 3. will i become a star?!

when dr. ireland called out my name, he said "yes you will get married (he had a strange disappointing look on his face as he told me this. then he said, "you will have a child" then he said, "you are going to have your own show!" wow, i looked at mae with my mouth open, she smiled back. i was all excited in too big of a way. this whole thing, mae and all is way too much! why did he frown about the marriage part? as you read further you will find out! now i know and so will you!! a life of horror!!!

163. chasens restaurant

what to sell on ebay to make money
half way through filming "sextette", it was my bobby's birthday! i decided to surprise him and invite all the main stars of the movie and of course mae west herself. i told them to please keep it under your hats, i really want to pull this off!

i told bobby i've always wanted to go to chasen's i've never been. i made a reservation for eight in front of him not talking to anyone (like lucy would do). off we went to din din.

bobby wasn't really in the mood but i told him we won't stay long, i just want to taste elizabeth taylor's famous chili! of course i knew everyone's waiting at the long banquet table in the banquet room!

we walk inside and bobby stopped the host from seating us in the back, bobby wanted to sit up front! i told bobby "lets please sit in the back where it's dark and romantic!' he gave in.

we went way in the back to the very end. then, there they all were in all their glory! mae west, timothy dalton next to his wonderful actress girlfriend vanessa redgrave, ringo starr, dom deloise, altoviese davis, sammy davis jr's wife, tony curtis, george hamilton. (had lunch with him too), alice cooper, keith moon, harry weiss and warner toub, can't remember the other's, 20 people or so.

bobby was blown away. edith head (wardrobe queen) even showed. she's so busy with wardrobe, it's very rare to see her eating at all! anywhere!! but for mae, yes!!

i sat at the end of the table. i'll never forget the line up of people at my party! i was head mistress!

of course mae was on the other long end of the table. i had timothy and vanessa next to me and bobby on the other side of me of course. everyone seemed pretty happy to be here! we all sang happy birthday to bobby. the cake was custom made that i designed, it was a gold pyramid with movie camera's and different symbols on it. one was the money sign meaning we will be making lots of money off this picture.

then i could feel a presence behind me. then it came to the left of me. it was a man in a grey suit, i looked up, it was james mason!! i couldn't believe it. i was speechless! he held out his hand to me and said "may i introduce myself? i'm james mason" i said "i'm june fairchild and i'm throwing a very special party for robert sulllvan who's currently producing mae west picture. mr. mason said "ouch, you're hurting my hand, i have arthritis, don't grab my hand so tight. " i was so sorry, but i was taught to always give a firm handshake! i was embarrassed and felt i blew it with mr. mason. (not really)

mr. mason worked his way down to mae at the other end and she made his night.

it's a wrap!!! the movie premiered at "the cinerama dome theater". my one and only girlfriend sister gwen selvage went as well since danny briggs was taking her out! we all went in the limo together. gwen and i looked gorgeous! we scrunched our hair, over the oven to make it messy and sexy. i had on a long flowing missoni dress on to die for.

this was a very big affair! it's a comeback for mae west!

my best friend, us go go dancers that we were together.

164. sextette premire cont;

down the red carpet we go! photographer's popping off! army archer was there. "the variety trade paper was his baby. bobby, danny briggs and gwen and myself were seated towards the middle of the seats. mae and paul were behind us with harry weiss and warner toub.

there was a commotion going on in the audience! adolf zukor showed up for mae west! this is way too much! (i had gone to his 100th birthday party! $500.00 a plate) that made mae real happy! everyone is so excited to see mae!!!!

the movie starts! and keeps going and going and going!! something was wrong, it wasn't cutting the mustard! it just wasn't believable because of the age difference? i'm not even sure, but i was getting uncomfortable and just had to quickly run to the restroom! i knew it would seem rude but if you gotta go you gotta go! so i ran to the restroom was glad to take a break from all the thick air in there! i open the restroom door and i hear two women talking "it is the worst picture i've ever seen, it's just awful! " i walked all the way in and caught altovise davis and her friend, they saw it was june and they just about shit in their pants! they bowed their heads down as i said "hello lady's, enjoying the picture?" they reply, "oh yes, it's so great to see mae again". (good answer, i felt the same way only i didn't tell them so.)

they left and i do believe i took some more drugs, maybe a quaalude or something so i could relax more and deal with all of this back in the audience!

everyone applauded very heavily in honor of mae's strength and performance. talk about a trouper! she was one of a kind! and she made mae up so well, she became a legend!

my hat goes off to her!!!!

she taught what's most important! do it your way!!! (which i did in my next movie) the movie was a flop! that's show business! that's hollywood! it swings both way's!

that would be the last time i'd ever see miss west again!

165. the movie: up in smoke

cheech marin and tommy chong got in touch with me in regards to having me in their first picture "up in smoke".

i showed up to read for them carrying a blown up picture of one of their album covers. they were glad to see me again and this photo with a lot of famous people including myself. i'm lying on the floor eating a jar of reds. even danny was in it weighing some cocaine as toni basil watches him. what a trip!

i sat down after a couple of hugs from them. they said for me to please read this part of jade east (the "lude" woman part) i read it in such a way that they decided to write a part for me specially!

my scene was to be filmed on location in pasadena in a messy old home after a long night of partying had taken place! '

when i arrived they were filming the scene where strawberry, tom skerritt, walks down the stairs and then steps on a bottle. i was behind the camera observing. my god tom skerritt was doing a marvelous job being a paranoid vietnam vet!!

i had been awake for two days since i was so excited to film again especially since i got wind that even stacey keach took scale pay just to be a part of this great comic team's hip, happening movie. we all were paid not too much. i was paid $950. 00 for one day's pay! didn't bother me!

there was a decent amount of dialog i memorized for my scene with tommy chong just as he did. my name they gave me for this role of a partying drug addict was "skinny lady".

they gave me a trailer to share with stacy's side kick. i was so tired i was almost hallucinating. i actually thought that this cute actor's head was so round, he resembled a tomato worm!

at this point i was drinking as usual and a little drugs here and there. when it comes to filming i absolutely refrain from any alcohol or anything that cranks you up etc. i'm always clean.

i didn't eat lunch with the crew or anything. as i was walking back to my trailer after a lighting check, lou adler (the director) to have a closer look at me. he looked me up and down and said "june, if you put on one more pound i'm going to fire you! " why he said that i'll never know. i was thin and only had one day work! that made me nervous. i was so overtired already to hardly handle this remark! how can you put weight on in one day?

the makeup man put dark circles under my eyes and red pencil on the bottom lids to make me look more fried and loaded for this character. i had plucked out most of my nice black eyebrows to appear less normal. my face was made to look gaunt and pasty.

my boyfriend bobby sullivan and his friend danny briggs showed up to visit me and said "god june, you shouldn't be loaded and this high working on a film" they actually believed i was ripped to the tits! "good makeup man isn't he?" said i.

okay! "we're ready for you june!" here i go i hope tommy and i work well together!

bright lights inside the mossy kitchen. tommy smiles big and says "we're going to have fun aren't we?" i said yes!

then they taped a thin long clear tube on the left side of my face so it looks like i'm really snorting the ajax on the paper plate. through the straw i took out behind my ear.

action!! rolling!!! the original dialog was not working! it was dead behind the camera! i almost had an anxiety attack! we tried it again and it still wasn't working!

that was it! i said "would you please give me five minutes, and try something?"

166. up in smoke continued..

i turned around and thought to myself "i'm going to do stupid stuff i use to do in high school. first i'll do my own version of a baboon three times, then i'm going to do the tongue contorted three leaf clover twice, then i'll do some nutty sounding donald duck (even though i speak it too). then i'll finish with the elephant screaming! i wanted to not be forgotten in this picture, i wanted to always be remembered. somehow, i knew that i wouldn't act again for at least 20 years! i thought all this in 5 minutes!

action!!! rolling!!! (after the talks with mae west) i come out and slap tommy's shoulder and said "who are you?, where have you been all my life? (this is all my own adlibbing) then i see this plate full of powder and say "oh, if you don't mind, share and share alike and laugh! i take the straw from my ear and connect the little tube taped to my nose and connect it and snort huge fat lines of cocaine! it's really ajax of course. then i let my insanity rip and didn't care how i looked at all, in fact the uglier the better. tommy had no idea that i was going to act so eccentric! so he just said "what a rush huh?".

the whole set of people roared behind the camera!!! i mean they were laughing really hard!*?! it worked!! yeah!

then i asked if i can try one more thing? they agreed to let me do more. i flicked my nipples over my shirt just to take it a little bit further, just for kicks, not trying to be dirty, just the opposite. in other words if i'm that high, anything can happen.

as i was walking off the set i said "oh yes, and let's call me "the ajax lady", i'll be more remembered! the skinny lady isn't that strong of a name! i got my way! they kept everything thing in! that made me so happy, i wish you could have been me doing this silly stuff on camera.

maybe i don't have balls between my legs, but i've sure got them in my heart! no guts no glory! betty davis's famous line. she was right and so was mae west!

do it your way, then you'll have something special! the other scene i was in was when we were all busted and they all bring us out of the back room. i'm standing and holding the blond girl (rainbow) and i adlib the dialog "can't you see she's sick? she's been through a lot in a short period of time, she's all fucked up! stacy says "you watch your language miss! then when their looking at the powder turning blue, i throw in another baboon real quick, just for kicks! it worked too!! !

i must let you know that during a run through snorting the ajax, i accidently really did snort some up my nose! it burned! one of grips pulled me into the back room and told me to take a small toot of some real cocaine to clear up my sinuses! i did, and it helped! just a little private tidbit of behind the scenes accidents!

cheech came to my trailer to thank me for doing such a good job. he said that i'm the only one who could have saved that scene! that's a real nice compliment! i was happy as a clam and couldn't wait to get home and sleep.

what i wanted to happen did. people always stop me to say hi to "the ajax lady" i haven't worked since. it's past 20yrs. i was 32 years old when i did "up in smoke".

tommy is planning to do another film without cheech. he said i'll be featured in this biker movie. this time i'll get credit for writing! he's interested in my life story too!

167. alexandra the great

miss alexandra hay was an actress. she was gorgeous!

she had long blonde hair that was very shiny and healthy! huge brown eyes. skin like a candle. she was a 12 o'clock with lazlo products. that's all she ever used.

her body was very voluptuous! large breasts, hips, and pretty knees and feet! an hour glass figure for real!

she acted in "guess who's coming to dinner" she played a carhop. she spoke to spencer tracy with katherine hepburn sitting next to him as he ordered their food. see this excellent movie again and you'll see alexandra hay, that's my new girlfriend.

she worked with otto preminger. she was a working actress trying to be another marilyn monroe (what else is now) we all want to be marilyn!

alexandra showed me a picture of groucho marx smoking a joint. an 8x10. she said "who else has a picture of groucho marx holding this in his hand?"

she would come to bobby's apt. to visit me and get high together. the usual pcp and vodka! we had a ball! always ended up naked in the pool in the middle of the night. (we aren't gay) just two pretty women who are lonely.

she overacted like marilyn monroe. this would embarrass me at times, but i loved watching her reduce men to masses of jelly at the snap of a finger! she would say to me at parties "june, stand over there and watch me". "i did, and these men were so excited over her they would shake visibly!

i would always worry taking her to parties. i knew she would cause trouble. i would drive most of the time. she insisted she would be the dog in the back! there was too much of her to put in the front of my small vw. she liked being chauffeured, "really darling!"

i drove us to a party at the beach. i rubbed it in to her to please behave! we walk in. lots of pretty people. i went to the bar and got a drink. i talked a little while. i then thought i had better go and check on alexandra i was already worried. she doesn't waste time for attention! i couldn't find her any where downstairs. now i'm getting worried! i hurried up stairs. i heard some shouting. then i'd ask if anyone knows where alexandra is? someone said "oh yes! she's in that bedroom and some people are not happy". i opened the door and a woman was on top of alexandra hitting her in the face! i pulled this girl off and said for her to stop it right now! she didn't want to stop hitting her. she finally got off her. i asked alexandra "what are you doing?!" she said "nothing!" "i've done absolutely nothing!". i told her let's go right now before this gets worse! the top of her nose was split open and bleeding this was too much for me! i told alexandra to go outside right now and i'll be right behind her. she did. i just had to know how this all started. i found the girl who was hitting her. i asked "please tell me what happened" she said "that bitch was really coming onto my man big time! he was all over her, no way would i let her get away with that! " i said "oh i see where's your man?' "he's right over there" i saw he was her type (dark and handsome). i told this woman that now i see, he looks like alexandra's dead boyfriend, she couldn't help it" i made it up of course. she calmed down. i ran to the car and got us the hell out of there. this is just one little story being with alexandra and the dander she could stir.

at another party i was talking to a man named arthur. i had no idea where alexandra was. then i see a little white hand come up from the floor behind and grab arthur's extremely harry arm and then here's alexandra kissing it.

168. alexandra the great cont;

since we always brought this up through our relationship this made me laugh so hard! she knew how to make me laugh! who would want to kiss a real harry arm where you can't even see any skin? come on! and he looked like a dodo bird! you had to be there! and she was in a long white gown on her knees running her fingers through all this hair and kissing it to and looking square in my eyes as she was doing it! hilarious! i almost wet my pants laughing so hard! from then on whenever we would leave notes to one another we would a always draw a little hairy arm at the end. alexandra and i were nuts together!

alexandra was always after my few good men. after i introduced her to danny at the hansel and gretel dream house. she went back and visited him. how did i know? i'd even stayed overnight there once with bebe buell (todd rundgren's girlfriend) i slept in danny's bed with her. i missed him so much i just didn't care. she was sweet, she said feel free to sleep here if your that tired. even watched bebe take off her makeup with noxzema. she gave me a nightgown.

i noticed a small tape recorder on a chair. i asked bebe what's this doing here. she said "oh, it has some woman talking to danny real sexy and doing naughty things". i had to play it. good lord! it was alexandra! she was drunk and just obscene with danny! he was loaded and barely speaking as she carried on! i was pissed! i tried to sleep with bebe next to me at the same time and there was no way i could. i got dressed and left! didn't say a word to alexandra for a while or called her. then i'm at a very popular bar on santa monica and crescent heights drinking at one booth as danny was at another. someone said "hey danny, someone is in a limo outside waiting for you! i saw he didn't pay attention, so out of curiosity i ran out to see! i asked the driver who's in there? (i was drunk) i heard that famous voice! "it's me, june!" it was alexandra! she was in a mink coat completely naked underneath!! that did it!! i laughed! give it to him good alex" i loved her, god she is funny and ballsy.

last week at the rainbow bar and grill on sunset, alexandra and i were sitting at a booth. she was in a very sexy black dress! in walks danny and makes the rounds saying hi to the happening ones in all the booths. he worked his way to our booth. he said hello and alexandra whips out one of her huge tits and said "hi daniel" and danny said "oh, (as he stares at her tit) "how very lovely". all this flirting with danny, alexanara did really didn't bother me at all. it was way over between danny and me. who cares! alexandra is just being alexandra! full of surprises!

alexandra would always say "really darling" as she smoked her cigarette in a holder! all women hated her they were so jealous of her beauty! i was the only one who could handle her or put up with her. she was very lonely and i felt sorry for her! i loved her for her. she was her real self with me alone. when others came into the picture she would overdo the marilyn thing! she was better as herself (she was great either way)

alex would say "i think i'll take the body out tonight" whenever we planned to go out! it took her two hours to put mascara on, not counting everything else!!

she lived in a big house in woodland hills she bought with the money her mother left her. she was a nurse and she died when alex was 12 years old!

she lived with her guardian sedrick who was in his 80's. she never played the grand piano or sang for me.

169. alex cont:

warren barrigian gave her singing lessons. he works with all the top singers when they lose their voices singing. he even gave me a singing test of his and i passed the audition for him to get me ready in 6 months to perform or record. he tested many famous people and actually turned them down! what a trip huh? warren is a genius, high priced worth every penny. but you must pass his test (and quit smoking).

"???" is the name alexandra was going to call herself. the ivory keys on her baby grand piano she loved so, gave her that idea! the piano was the only piece of furniture that wasn't dusty (like black patent leather).

there were always about six huge candelabras lit when i'd come over to have fun with alexandra.

i'll always remember sedrick bringing her tea and saying "here's her princesses tea". he looked like a nazi with his green shades on and his thick toe snails hanging over his sandals.

when alexandra entered an important party, you knew she was there! especially at the hefner party i mentioned earlier. she was dressed as scarlett o'hara. ringlets in her hair and a huge gown from the high society plantation days. roller skates underneath really was the topper for her attire! no guts, no glory!!! she stole the show as usual. she was gorgeous with her white candle skin.

when we were apart, alexandra and i would talk for hours on the phone. i have written a stage play called "???" which is two women on the phone with a partition between them. that would be us. "it would start out with alexandra saying "hang on, let me make my drink fresh again! she was so happy to talk to me she would keep screaming "hang on i'm coming!" real loud as she made the drink. she was very animated! i was boring next to her. i was her trusted sound board! a handsome one at that, she told me that.

she was always howling at the moon and caressing the trees and made me pull over to do so on many outings!

alexandra wanted to take me to harry's bar in venice. we never got there! she did a play on la cienega blvd. "the beard".

she was jean harlow in it. she was arrested every night after her performances since she was acting so vulgar! she didn't hold back.

alexandra was in and out of the hospital or as she called it "the slammer" with pneumonia!!

she drank vodka for years (who didn't).

i asked her why do you always wear a long scarf with everything. she finally told me. "i have scoliosis, one of my shoulders is bigger than the other. it balances me out" she didn't like people to touch her back. now i knew why! she was actually a very sweet caring woman! i'll never forget her!

she had a layout in playboy magazine titled "alexandra the great" and she was. i had a copy. someone took it as usual.

after sedrick died, after all the complaining she did of him sayinq "i'm going to put him in a pin box!". that's how mad he would make her! i heard she was actually married to him at the age of 15. i never asked that question, i was afraid to. i didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

alexandra sold her home and moved to a condo in north hollywood. her hairdresser moved in with her. i only visited twice. she wasn't acting the same anymore. her hair was back to brown and slicked back tight. she would have her cocktail in hand.

she said "june, i want you to have all my books when i die. she sent me home. two weeks later she died. don't know where or how exactly. number disconnected. that was it. i miss her.

i really was lucky to be with her for so many years. she's in the sea now! her ashes were spread in marina del rey and she's making the fish laugh! (the great alexandra hay)

170. send bernie out to the cornfield

after i returned from purchasing three tonkinese kittens in danny hutton's limo (he wanted one too) the boom was lowered! my boyfriend bobby tells me he's moving to be with his high school sweetheart. i need to find a new dwelling fast! i went through my phone book and came across bernie cornfield's name. i figured since he had such a huge mansion he might not mind putting me up for a short period of time.

i went to his parties often enough for him to remember me. i asked him for this huge favor! he said "no problem, i can use some help doing paper work for me, you can earn your keep by doing this favor. " thank god for bernie!

i pulled up in his gorgeous driveway and he was outside with a smile. he told me to put all my belongings in his huge garage.

he gave me a hug and told me to follow him to the pool area and that i would be staying in the pool house! it had sliding glass doors. inside was almost like a small apartment! very nice and clean. he told me "i have one rule, all doors must remain unlocked". i thought to myself, how strange and sloughed it off.

bernie then took me to his office and showed me how to operate his xerox machine. i guess this is my new job. this is fine with me, i'm real lucky to be put up in such notice! i had my new cat "keeker" with me also. bernie didn't mind at all.

bernie told me to please not to mention this to anyone since he was fighting for child custody! i didn't get that either.

i put my things in order. there's a knock at the door. bernie comes right in. he's taking me out dancing at a "members only" club in beverly hills. forget the name. we danced and drank! i've never seen him dance before! bernie resembled a small santa claus or a nome with lily white skin. he had white thick wavy hair with blue eyes. he sure was jolly and polite! we had fun!

i had some cocaine to numb the pain of having the rug pulled out from under me.

bernie drives us back in his big huge long fancy car like a duisenberg (like a huge morgan). i saw these as obnoxious! all lawyers were driving these in the 70's or should i say anyone who was rich! bernie gave me a peck on the cheek and said goodnight. what a real gentlemen. he really is sweet and polite. i was snug as a bug in a rug with my new cat. we were safe! i had no idea where i would go from here! i fell fast asleep with a smile regardless.

early the next morning after i just opened my eyes, i heard the sliding glass door open. it was bernie! he simply took off his jogging suit and jumped right on top of me and with no words, forcefully screwed me! i couldn't stop him, he was going to get in there whether i liked it or not!

he did break and enter me with a cold twisted smile on his face! i tried to talk him out of it but he was stronger than me, i had to let him enjoy himself, this was the price i had to pay for this roof! i felt awful and cheap! i was violated! i'm old fashion! i don't give away my integrity for a hollywood rich known stranger! but it happened a little with this jerk!

when he was done, bernie said "there's some food in the kitchen, help yourself", and left! jesus christ! what a daymare! that was it! i called lloyd johnson. he was mark johnson's brother (my girlfriend gwen's boyfriend), i was crying and asked him if i could to his place and stay and he said it would be fine. off to lloyd's i went.

i didn't even say goodbye to bernie. as i was driving down the driveway, here comes bernie with four pretty girls in his car laughing and singing to loud music, bernie has only just begun! i was glad to be gone!

171. dean stockwell

living with lloyd johnson wasn't too bad. he was a mechanic. worked on alfa romeo cars. had a ducati motor cycle, which i rode on here and there. he looked like a hawk in heat. he was a stud and had many girlfriends. thank god for him letting me share his roof.

i called dean stockwell to say hello. he was "the boy with the green hair" in that movie. he was famous for it.

we would get together occasionally and just drive around and park by "the observatory" in the hollywood hills. we'd drink right out of a fifth of vodka bottle. we'd pop a "lude" here and there. we laughed and talked and had a little kiss here and there. we had fun renting a motel room on ventura blvd just for kicks. they had those x rated porno movies. i don't like that stuff. dean went and put the rubber door mat outside and taped it to the tv screen. that was a nice thing to do for me (a bit unusual)

we had more vodka and quaaludes. yes, we did ending up getting it on. since i was single and a bit confused, why not? he was very handsome and something new. he was just having fun and did it to make me laugh and i did big time! we had a ball together.

then dean called me and told me he wanted me to audition for a part in the play he was doing. i read for the part of a woman in a wheelchair. i got the part! this roll was unusual and challenging. i was very excited to act on stage again. last time on stage for me was when i was 17 playing prince arthur in "king john".

believe it or not i changed my mind since i was so moody with all changes i was going through, i decide not to do this play and turned it down.

dean stockwell is a genius. i was lucky just to be around him. great sense of humor. can't get much better than him. that was the last time i would ever see him.

172. out of the groove at lemon grove

i found a converted garage for rent passed gower street in hollywood. it was $275.00 a month. it had a kltcen and nice carpeting. i took it. it was on lemon grove st.

i thanked lloyd for saving me when i really needed it.

it was hiatus time for acting. that meant no acting auditions for a few months. i was in trouble financially. i found a job at a portrait studio filing, i needed to do something to pay the rent. i was living alone and towing the line.

one morning i went to my blue vw and to my horror, the top of canvas had been slit with a knife and the antenna was broken off. this scared me. i went to the police to report this. they said i'm living in a bad area and to be very careful. i asked them to please check up on me every now and then to see if i'm okay. i'm not used to handling gang members etc.

i was paranoid knowing i picked a bad spot to live in. i drank wine after work. i would get knocks on my door and it would always be the police. heck, they even brought me bottles of wine here and there, how nice of them.

i met a couple of vice walking down hollywood blvd. i found them fascinating and gave them my phone number. they called me and asked me if i would like to go out and drive around in their squad car. i accepted. i knew i'd be safe! i had a current girlfriend go with me. now we are double sort of blind dating the vice squad/narks!

we sat in the back of this plain police car laughing a lot! these guys were a riot! we ended up on top of a hill somewhere and drank like fish! these guys were hilarious! good looking too! they wore hawaiian shirts. i couldn't believe this was actually happening. this does not happen every day. believe it or not they were perfect gentlemen. we were lucky.

they dropped us off home and that was that. i felt very safe with the police and i could relax and let my hair down from all the worrying i was doing, i felt i was bottoming out with my situation being in a garage all alone and barely making the rent.

it's made me sad to end up here after all the nice places i'd lived with good people, doing "up in smoke" and mae west. now i'm here? how sad! poor me. i'm scared.

i met a fat southern rock and roll hick, named jamie. i was getting my salem cigarettes. he said hi to me and asked me where he could get an apartment. he showed me a wad of money he had in his pocket, $25. 00 dollars cash! that was an eye opener to me, since i'm broke. i didn't even think and said you are welcome to live with me as a roommate, you can help me pay half the rent he took my offer. he jumped in my car and we were on our way home. at least i can have a little break, since i was only getting minimum wages filing.

jamie had frizzy hair and was quite overweight. he wore one pair of shoes only. the white leather dancer shoes from capezio's. all the rock stars were wearing them at this time, he liked the group ac/dc! i didn't! i had to hear it quite a bit on his cassette player. he wanted to make it as a singer like them. what have i gotten myself into?

when i got up at night to use the restroom i had to step over his big body! he snored real! he had cocaine. i was getting tired of drugs. i've had enough to kill an army since the sixty's! enough is enough!

i kept my diamond studs and twice dipped gold earrings in my little top nightstand drawer, i got up one morning and jamie was gone and so were my earrings! god help me! i broke down and cried real hard. i've never had such an act done to me!

173. the lemon at lemon grove cont;

i hear footsteps! i've been waiting for hours waiting for jamie to get back. please let it be him! it was! i jumped up and asked him "where are my diamonds?" he said, "i needed them to pay off an old drug dealer i owed! " i said "what! are you crazy?!" those meant a lot to me!, bobby paid $4,000.00 for them and $400. 00 for my hoop earrings, you couldn't have owed them that much?" he said "hell it was about 4 or $500. 00 i owed" "you are stupid, and you will pay me back! " he said he gave them the earrings as collateral to hold them over so he wouldn't get beat up. he said he'll get them back, don't worry!" i wanted to die! i'm not doing too well here lately! i never should have brought this thing into my little haven. my cat "keeker" and i would have made it alone somehow. i still was thinking before i jumped into situations too fast. i'm learning the hard way. i'm not using danny's advice enough. hell i'm going to become very good at this now!

there's a knock at the door. jamie answered it. he told me wait here he's going to talk to some people right outside. they were talking too long and i could tell there was tension outside. i knew these must be the guys he owed money to. the ones who had my earrings. i just had to go and say hi, no matter how scary they might be.

they were right in front of the garage door. two black thugs or gang members with sweatshirt hoods over their heads. it was dark. you could hardly see their faces. they were very dark skinned! (as they say). frightening enough for me to really be sweet to hope to cut the tension in the air. i shook one of their hands and i bumped the other hand in the pouch on the sweat shirt. i felt hard steel! he had a gun in it! i pretended i felt nothing. i'm so stupid i actually said "do you guys happen to have my earrings?" they said "yeah" i said "can i please get them back, i have nothing to do with his past debts" jamie, going shush silently on the side. i will help jamie get the cash for you so please hang tight with them, i must get them back, it's just not fair to me.

"the look on his face wasn't too good, he could have shot us both just for kicks and then ransack my dwelling! i then changed the tune and said "not to worry, i hope to see you soon" i turned towards the door and didn't look back hoping i could just get inside in one piece, i locked the door real quick! i was shaking. should i call the police to get rid of them or will they come to get even if i did? so i didn't and just sat down and chain smoked in a frozen state! what have i gotten myself into?

then there's a little knock like it's okay now it's jamie. i open it. it's jamie alright with a huge obese black man behind him. jamie said "come on in, and meet june". it was hard for me to take anymore of this shit! i want to go to sleep at least!

jamie sits this big man at my very small table for two only. i thought the chair legs would bend they were thin metal. good lord this man had to weight 500 lbs.!

jamie says "june i'd like for you to meet lottsa poppa!" (he must be the king of the gang) he was very nice even though he was scary. he was clean and had on a decent cologne.

he said "it's a real pleasure june, i hear you are an actress" i made small talk. i want him out of here.

he then breaks out a scale and starts weighing an ounce of cocaine. i then had to partake in snorting it and get all wound up to pacify this bigger thug! now i'm with drug dealers of the worst kind. after this, i threw jamie out on his ear, screw the diamonds. burning my house down made this easy. no more jamie!!

174. tommy mull - dr. jeckal and mr. hyde (end of 1979)

hiatus, stopped auditioning for me. it was time to leave the lemon grove nightmare and move to the valley. i'm not a valley girl at all. i've done enough auditions to make your head spin. 10 years of partying and hostessing, giving all i had in my heart. my dad said "junie, marry a rich man" i'm ready for a new lease on life.

i grabbed my mom as usual and took her to north hollywood. i found her a decent single apt. she was always glad to be near me. i needed my queen. her love and intelligence nurtures me.

i saw an ad in the paper, "waitresses needed for the palomino nightclub". i went right over. i walked in at 12 noon. there was a crowd of people to the right. it was a birthday party for a very important person. must be a country and western star. i was nosey and mingled with these people to see who it was. there in the red booth were a bunch of waitresses all over this unknown man. he was big with brown straight hair to his shoulders combed to the side. he looked like a grown up boy. he looked like fred flintstone and ben franklin combined. i saw the cake in front of him as he blew out the candles. it had a half naked little blond headed doll on a bed posing. oh i see, this man must be a friend of the owners of the club or something.

sure enough there was the owner and his wife standing to the left. tommy thomas and his wife sherri. they were laughing with admiration for him. i asked a woman who is that man? she said "why, that's tommy mull one of their biggest customers, he spends lots of money here. okay, that's why all the girls had stars in their eyes for him.

i was hired on the spot. carmen was the head waitress. she wasn't a spring chicken but cute with a very raspy voice. she had an eye for this mr. mull too. they all did.

i came right back at 6:00 to learn setting up the tables and checking out the kitchen. i am now a cocktail and food waitress. first time for everything. i had to wing it! great i could use more experience on all levels since i'm an actress!

i wore a palomino t-shirt with a western scarf tied to the side. i grabbed my tray and began asking people what would you like to drink? i took my first order. i went up to the bartender and put in the requests. i looked down to the end of the bar.

there's the important man tommy mull. his head was down on the bar. he had been there all day. he raised his head up as if he knew i was looking at him and looked straight at me. he had dark circles under his eyes. his baby blue eyes were red too. he was not a light weight character. i served my people their drinks.

it was still pretty rarely so i could relax for a moment. i just had to go over to tommy mull to see how he talks at least. his head was up and he was sipping a tall glassed cocktail.

i introduced myself. he said "hi, my name is tommy, i'm good people, you can ask the owner, he'll vouch for me" as he was speaking he had a huge wad/roll of hundred dollar bills in his right hand. i knew he liked me right away since i'm the new kid on the block.

the people poured in and i got real busy carrying an enormous tray that carried five platters plates for steak dinners! good thing i take care of myself to handle the weight!

i kept my eye on mr. mull, he's so cute and mysterious! he still hadn't moved from his spot! does he have a hole in his leg? he drinks seagram seven with ginger ale, tall glass. i'm real busy and then i feel a tap on my shoulder, it was him! he scared me. he threw a hundred dollar bill on my tray! that held my interest, i couldn't get him off my mind.

175. tommy mull

i was so happy to get the hundred, i needed it. it was hoot night at the palomino that meant anyone can get up and perform. it was very colorful and full of characters.

it was closing time, after clearing off the tables i said goodnight to "twiggy" a short bartender right out of star wars. his voice was like the little round robot r2d2? he was real funny. he said, "good night june, by the way we are all going as usual to tommy mulls house for after hours cocktails" i asked if i could go, he said yes! i got the address, it was 1711 grismer ave. in burbank. condo #81.

i was still wound up from working so hard, memorizing drinks and all. off to burbank i go. oh my, what's tommy mulls house like inside? i knocked on the door, it's one of the waitresses. "hey! come on in june!" right on! just go up to the kitchen and make yourself a drink!"

i'm standing down below in the living room to see the layout. i look up to the top level and standing behind the wrought iron bars was big man on campus mr. tommy mull. i walked straight upstairs to him and said hello. he was in the middle of entertaining his palomino family. he had on a big white t shirt with everybody's signature all over it, happy birthday from all.

his condo was a three level two bedroom home. i made a drink and mingled. then i heard "hold it!" it was tommy. then he said "i'm drunk as two warlords". i decided to leave, that's enough of this, it's been a long day. said my goodbyes. little did i know then, but tommy's condo would become my home for thirteen years.

two nights later, back at the palomino, in walk's tommy mull. i was ordering drinks for my customer's and mr. mull walks right up to me and said "i'm going to houston texas, i'd like for you to come with me" he said i'm bringing jasper daily my photographer, and a couple of other people, including my son greg". i said "that's very nice of you to ask me to go, but i don't even know you". he then defended himself and said "talk to tommy thomas (owner of palomino) and his wife sherri, they'll tell you i'm good people" i told him, that's okay, i'm not going regardless, why don't you take one of the other cute waitresses, and have a wonderful time" he was disappointed, and let me off the hook. he disappeared.

about four or five days went by. i found myself always looking at the front door of the club to see when tommy would walk through it. then i heard as i was serving food, "tommy mull is here". you see, all the waitresses were all given a hundred dollar tip when he was there. or should i say his favorite ones for sure.

i went up to him first chance i had and welcomed him back. i asked him if he had a good time. he said "oh yeah, except i don't like tattooed women who smoke pcp". i said, i don't like tattoos either, or drugs". then tommy said how much he loved gilley's the biggest country and western nightclub in the country.

boy, he sure had dark circles under his light blue eyes. it was 1:30 in the morning. mr. mull obviously came straight from lax to have a nightcap. i suppose he wasn't too pleased with donna, one of the other waitresses. i knew he had an eye for me.

he then threw another hundred on my tray! great! don't get these every day. i told him, it was nice to see he made it back in one piece etc.. he left. i decided to never take drugs again, just drink.

176. the palamino nightclub

"the pretenders" are performing tonight! the stage is loaded with the biggest amplifiers i've seen!!

i just finished serving 10 steak dinners and stiff cocktails. this group of people were wearing lots of diamonds and custom western wear. i knew i'd be getting a nice tip from them. they were in the patio in the back. i gave them their privacy and went up front to the bar and talked with tommy mull. we were hitting it off pretty good. tommy thomas was buzzing around like a nervous hen, this is a big night for him.

i went back to check on my party of people. they were all gone!!! i couldn't find one of them anywhere! i panicked! oh my god! mr. thomas is going to have my head! i ran back to his office behind the bar to report! i told him and he looked as though he was going to explode! he contained himself and then stood up and came up to me and put two fingers in my mouth with a smile. he pulled them out and said "don't worry about it". i was both nervous and relieved. it didn't hurt me being close with his well to do friend tommy mull.

my brakes on my car were going out. i mentioned this to mr. mull. he sent me to his mechanic and got me new ones.

he took me to "manuel's" custom clothing for the biggest and richest country and western stars. he bought me embroidered jeans that were s100. 00, and so were the western shirts on the rack up front for the general public. he told me to pick out a couple of fancy cowboy hats and throw in a couple of unique headbands with rabbit fur and turquoise stones etc. of course let's not forget two pairs of cowboy boots. purple and brown ones for starters. tommy said "if you're going to be with me, you have to dress the way i like it, and that's it "okay whatever you say tommy".

tommy then took me downtown l.a. and bought me $4000.00 perfectly cut diamond stud earrings. a $400. 00 krugerrand coin to hang on a $700.00 box chain. he bought me a concho belt with rubies incrusted in it and the 18 carat gold inlays on top of the black leather, it was gorgeous! he blew my mind! he was now my sugar daddy! i loved it when he held me against his big belly! i felt safe and saved at the same time.

the next time i went to his afterhours party i didn't leave i stayed overnight with him.

the next day was a work day as usual. he went over with me and told tommy thomas "she's not working for you anymore". that was it. we sat down and i ordered a bloody mary as my follow waitresses served me! i was happy and falling in love in a new kind of way. i was in awe of mr. tommy mull.

before you knew it i moved in with him. my mom was happy for me. my mom loved being alone and private and classy. didn't bother her.

now i become the hostess in my new hone for tommy's after hour parties. i'm good at this with all the experience i had hostessing hugh hefner and jack haley jrs parties.

i met tommy's ex wife and children. they weren't too wild about me. they just grinned and bared me.

i got my mom to move right across the street from me. tommy said he'll throw in $100. 00 a month towards her rent so she can be closer to me. she was really happy now! my queen is close by me as usual. we are too dear to one another not to.

i asked my mother "how can i get tommy completely?" she said "don't ask him any questions, they hate that" i took her advice.

177. condo in burbank - sugar daddy no more!!

i had been living with tommy mull for 6 months.

tommy took me to the race tracks all the time. we'd sit in the infield at santa anita. we brought a cooler with mumms champagne. he would win a few grand here and there! i always had money, he wouldn't have it any other way. i was getting some knowledge on betting. i would win here and there.

tommy told me to put $5.00 bucks on a long shot of his. i did. as they were close to the last stretch tommy said now watch your horse it's gonna start making a move now from behind and come around the outside. the horse moved like he said as if he could hear tommy! then, here he comes up front and passes all the rest of the sure bets and won!!! i almost fell over! this was the longest shot in the race! i won $1500.00!! i looked up to tommy as a god! how does he know?! he told me he was thinking of becoming a taut man for the track! i was impressed!! god knows what he won, i didn't ask! no questions asked.

i was alone a lot. tommy was always on the phone. i just had to ask why? he told me, i'm a bookie! oh my god! that's why he reeks of money!! people would bust in the house to audit him. i kept out of it.

he would get mood swings. he yelled at me now here and there for no reason. i let it slide.

i grew tired of being just a live in girlfriend. it didn't look good to his ex wife and kids either.

tommy and i were sitting at the custom booth i had made for his kitchen. i said "listen tommy, i really think we should get married! it's more proper". (his north carolina accent was rubbing off on me) he said "okay, let's go right now to vegas".

we caught the midnight flight. i was wearing jeans and a nice sweatshirt! no time for dolling up! it was 10:00 at night when i popped the question!

we had a drunken limo driver. we drove to "the candlelight chapel" the preacher was drunk too! this is my first wedding! how romantic! no it wasn't! i wanted to marry danny hutton!

tommy took me to a strip club afterwards. i was embarrassed and disappointed. well, at least i married into some money. didn't have to work anymore. tommy told me "we have a connivance marriage, it's the best kind"

i played slot machines and got drunk as tommy gambled. he won at craps a lot!

we finally got up to our room and pretty much passed out! tommy woke up in the middle of the night with his pillow on his face wrestling with it! then he ran around the room screaming in terror! i brought him around and asked what's wrong tommy? he said "there's a monster in the room! " i reassured him there wasn't, it was just a bad dream". little did i know then, he was the monster, i would be living with when we're awake!

there weren't any kissing either. i didn't mind, i didn't like the way tommy kissed, he didn't know how. i am a good kisser and i know it. sex? he would just get on top and i would be a cum receptacle!! what a ridiculous wedding and wedding night! at least i felt more secure. he was an excellent provider! i did what my dad said. i never thought i would do such a thing. i wonder if dad's right.

178. mrs. june mull

tommy bought me a sterling silver flask with my initials engraved on it. he also bought me a brand new pontiac. how sweet of him to give me these for a wedding present. $900.00 flask?

i would spend hundreds of dollars at the super market every two weeks. tommy would say "just get what ya want, go down every aisle and get it'. so i did.

i was always cleaning this big condo. no maid service. that was me.

i bought all the art supplies i wanted. made handmade hooked rugs with my own design. made acrylic scenes on old saws and wine bottles, and canvases. june's brooms (hand painted). you can paint on anything you see. it's endless!

i'm starting to miss auditioning for parts in films. i decided to tell tommy that i was also a dancer/actress for 10 years in hollywood. i kept it a secret since i heard him say "those hollywood phonies".

he came home from the track as usual around 7:00pm. i made my grandma's homemade vegetable soup. we sat at the booth and ate quietly.

he seemed a little twisted and down from betting all day i made light of it and said "guess what tommy, i was in a couple of movies a few years ago". his circles under his eyes became darker and he stared at me with cold steel eyes and then snarled his lips and said "i knew it! i knew there was something funny about you! you sucked cock for parts didn't you?!"

i was scared stiff, i defended myself and told him the truth," i never would do such a thing, i read from my heart the best i could and sometimes i got it! heck, i'd report them to the guild if they tried anything obscene with me" he didn't go for this. he said, let me tell you something dicklick! you are never going back to hollywood to suck cock for any movie part! and got up and slapped me on the side of my head on my ear real hard (blood was coming out) he stormed out the door! i just sat frozen in a state of shock and crying! i started drinking heinekens one after another. i was now scared to death of my husband. i went to sleep, wondering how is he going to be? around 2:30 in the morning the front door opened. i heard more than one voice. thank god he wasn't alone. i went downstairs and here's a younger newer waitress and a friend of hers from the palomino. tommy said "lori, meet june" and then kissed her on the top of the head and disappeared into the kitchen to make a drink.

this 23 year old lori was all happy to go to the famous tommy mull's house late night parties. i'm sure he gave her a hundred dollar tip! i didn't want to spoil her thrill of it all. i was the hostess with the mostess grinning and bearing it and trying not to cry or go off on her. she was cute with huge breasts! this really did it for me.

i decided to pretend nothing happened and just get back to normal (if you want to call it that).

tommy was a chronic alcoholic! i wasn't far behind him. i'm use to all this! at least the drugs were omitted.

tommy and i would go to the palomino three times a week. never missed the big shows. we had pictures taken with everyone. lacy dalton, george jones (i'm cheek to cheek with him) jasper dailey was always on call for tommy every time we went out. he was to capture tommy with the big shots that meant something to him. now i'm in all of them with him. i'm always looking good and dressed to the hilt! now i'm mrs. tommy mull. i'm in for a long haul in hell!

179. walking on egg shells - fred flintstone

thank god he did resemble fred flintstone and ben franklin it made him funnier when he was in a good mood.

mondays the track is closed. tommy was always depressed on this day. he couldn't sit still for too long unless he's watching football. (never disturb him during a game!)

as time went by tommy started to slap me here and there and pull me by the hair! he would yell horrible things to me. when i'd speak up for myself he hated it and would say "stop running off at the mouth! shut that mouth!" i did. he's big and mean. it's best to do as he says.

his daughter told me that when she was young her dad ripped off her mother's blouse when she was simply vacuuming and she had to drink through a straw!

okay now i'm in trouble. i was an actress and i do need to nurse my hangovers the next day with a hair of the dog that bit you. tommy didn't believe in that! he would say "june, take it like a man". and he meant in every way, including when he would go for my throat with his fingers nails! he said "the only way to fight is dirty". take it like a man.

he would go off over absolutely nothing! i took it most of the time and was always hiding my bruises.

i moved out lock stock and barrel and slept on my mother's couch. tommy would send two dozen roses and call all the time. my mother said "junie, you've got a tiger by the tail".

i would always go back and here comes more clothes and money bangles and beads. i'm on point with the egg shells.

tommy's best friend john root (looked just like clark gable) asked me a question. he said "june didn't you know tommy is a pathological liar and a paranoid schizophrenic! "no way are you serious?" john said "oh yes, i've known him for years! so that's why he's dr. jeckel and mr. hyde!!! " good lord now i get it.

i must learn how to live with this uncontrollable devil. i actually learned how to control him without him noticing. very gently and i was always entertaining him.

i would tell tommy to go and get two bottles of champagne and let's go all night long upstairs, he would smile and run to store. i wore my bathrobe as long as possible to give myself a break as long as possible. i would make him talk of north carolina. i'd have him sing george songs to me. i'd get him drunk as possible to prolong having sex. at the last minute i would take off the robe and jump on top of him and made him climax! he would always laugh real hard after cuming. he was so funny at the strangest moments. i did have a love for him. but he was way too much for me. i would never walk around naked in front of him very often. i have a tight streamlined body with a perky almost black ass with round small beautiful firm breasts. if i did he would always be needing blow jobs and sex every minute. tommy is not the kind of man physically you want to be between the sheets with. i did absolutely love it when he held me in bed. i really felt protected and loved by him then.

he did love me. just him holding me was enough. he told me "june when you are sober you are the best woman in the world, you are my trophy woman, you can't be topped".

this went on for five years. tracking, palomino, trucking, drinking, shopping, fighting with him and trying to remain in one piece.

tommy signed the house over to me if he died etc. tommy told me "one day i'm going to retire with my winnings at the track. i'm going to retire at the track!"

since i had to drive his social security card to santa anita after wining $9,000.00, i guess he will. i couldn't keep up with track meets.

180. i'm pregnant!!!!

i'm 39 years old. this is the time for me to bring life in the world the correct way! this baby would be born with a silver spoon.

i broke the news to tommy. he said "get rid of it!!". i just couldn't believe he could say such a thing so cut and dried and to the point. i told him i'm having this baby with or without you no matter what! he said "okay, you raise it and i'll provide for it! when it's born, keep it out of my room for one year, only then will i pay it any attention!" i agreed to his terms. he'd been drinking, so i let it go in one ear and out the other.

i stopped drinking, smoking and ate only healthy foods.

tommy was now partners with manuel custom clothing store. we ran the part up front. not custom clothing but run off versions. manuel's designs and jewelry and belt buckles etc.

i greeted all the customers with my growing tummy.

karen carpenters brother came in for jeans custom made. he said "i'm casting a movie for television all about my sister's sliding down with her disease anorexia, you would be a good candidate". "wouldn't work being in this shape".

johnny cash came in and i couldn't move. i watched him move towards me as he walked in the front door, i only saw his very tall dark silhouette moving towards me. all in black he picked me up without hesitating. i said "what a pleasure to meet you mr. cash, my name is june" he said "i have a wife named june:" then he put me down. i loved him right away! he was awesome!

marty stuart walked in and he was so handsome he looked unreal! like a cartoon. he was johnny's lead guitar player.

then went into the living like room in the next room and sat down as manuel brings out tequila or beer etc. my mother was there she came with me just for a little while. she had a glass of wine. manuel had an eye for her and her daughter. he was a real handsome hispanic casanova. he was a one of a kind genius in his unique designs for all these other genius's, what can i say.

this was all a bit too much for me. i handled it anyway. my tummy wasn't that noticeable really, but i was highly sensitive at this point.

hank williams jr. popped in and i got to see his eye's without his shades for a second. strange appearing, they were unsettled looking. hank williams jr. is probably one of the most down to earth, sweetest men i've ever met! these performers just had to have only manuel make their clothes for stage or special occasions.

dennis weaver came in and i had to tell him how much i loved his acting in the movie where a mad truck driver wouldn't stop riding his tail. i also loved him playing the part of a man taken over with being addicted to cocaine. he was thankful of my compliments, but he actually more concerned with the parking meter outside. it was broken but he did not want a ticket regardless. he was overly worried about this. it's not like he didn't have money. he might have been tight in strange ways. oh who cares!

tommy much to my surprise was on his best behavior through my whole pregnancy! thank god. he was very sweet and proud!

tommy was at the night races. all of a sudden i was wet underneath me. i called my mom" she said "your water has broken, just rest and go to the hospital first thing in the morning." i was a bit scared, not with mom close by.

tommy hadn't come home. i called down to the docks where tommy's trucks were. he had just walked in. i told him about my condition. he said "just call me when it's born, then i'll be there. i have to work". i agreed.

181. off to the hospital!!

i put on my big baggy jean overalls. i got in my car and started driving over to the burbank community hospital. i was very nervous. this was the crack of dawn, no time to dally! i pulled into the closest emergency parking lot. i got out carefully and walked slowly to the entrance. i told them i'm having pains now and my water broke last night!

they just about had a kitten themselves! they had me lay down and made me comfortable in a gown etc. they monitored me from then on. they told me my dr. is on vacation skiing! dr. kaseem will fill in, don't worry. they were appalled that i drove myself and that the water broke last night. being 39 years old worried them too! i was in labor for 12 hours! i would not dilate anymore than a few inches. we had to do a cesarean. i was 5 weeks early, this baby was to be born on christmas day!

the baby was a red headed preemie! 5 lbs. 1 ounce. strong with a little jaundice, extremely healthy regardless! i did it! i woke up and freaked out! where's my baby!! it's down the hall and your husband is here. i was in a lot of pain! i managed to get up and look down the hall! there was tommy looking through the window at his new daughter! he did have a big smile on his face and was passing out cigars to everyone! he was proud! so was i! yes, i definitely was very alone feeling at the same time! i didn't care. i only cared about my baby. thank you tommy for letting me have her!! there was no romance, only a connivance marriage. i told tommy, "from here on, i only want you to give her things, not me. i want everything to go to her. it did. i didn't purchase anything for myself for about a year. my baby get's the best of everything!

no nannies. i cut my hair short and wore an army hat and did everything myself. no babysitters either! maybe two times i let tommy's daughter caryn watch her as we went out to "the palamino".

i kept bringing tommy's new daughter to him as he watched tv and within two weeks, she was daddy's girl and they were always together and fit like a glove with one another. she fell in love with her loving father instantly! i loved him more too. he was a terrific father, no doubt about that! that's all i cared about!

i was a devoted hard working mother, it's a devastating job/pleasure for me! tommy fell in love with his little girl. (he was 2 or 3 different people)

megan's hair became blond and her eye's a bright green. just the same color as my dead brother stewart's eyes. she got them from him! amazing!! yellow in them too! striking eyes!!!

before you knew it tommy slipped back into "the hulk".

182. hes going to kill me

last part of 15 yr ??? to self made rich trucker/bookie me. tommy mull. tommy went back to terrorizing me anytime the mood struck him.

this would occur not far from megan. by the time she was five i had started to let her spend time with the kids next door at another apartment. i never kept an eye off her for one second since birth. i could not take it when megan would say "daddy, what are you doing to mom?". to spare her she stayed over with her friends often.

for thirteen years i was buried alive trying to protect myself with this monster. he was two personalities. dr. jeckel and mr. hyde.

there was certainly no romance, just a convenience marriage. i would give kathy (megan's friend's mother) money to keep megan safe.

i met kathy's brother tom. he was a great guitar player and became someone i could talk to about my situation. we were becoming attracted to one another. for the first time in 13 years i had a real kiss. tom and i had instant chemistry. thank god i didn't feel so alone with my battered house wife existence.

i was drinking when necessary since my nerves were on edge. i would drink when i didn't even feel like it because of tommy!

tommy was always drinking. i had to sneak, to take it like a man!

if i hadn't gotten pregnant i would have gotten a divorce after the first five years of marriage. but since i did i hang in there just for megan another seven years and got more abuse for my baby and good providing. i always wore robes around tommy so he wouldn't want me. i never gave him sex anymore. this didn't help matters.

he blew up one day and said "you will give me two blow jobs everyday for two weeks, starting right now" i took his orders only for two days and put a halt to this arrangement. he let me slide. this was all becoming too much for me!

i was relaxing in my black caftan. just put megan to sleep. she was 7 years old now.

tommy comes home from the track tanked up and comes straight up stairs and starts yelling at me and calling me a whore.

he would do this off and on at the palomino after he would raise his head up from the bar drunk. i was a whore and that's it. here we go again! i went into the bathroom and sat down on the toilet to get some relief. tommy disappeared into his office and walks right in on me and puts a gun straight to my nose. he said "i'm going to kill you and take you to the desert! i've done it before and i'll do it again! but first i'm going to break your nose and your teeth!" then he slapped me with his other hand real hard a few times. i was crying and scared. i pulled myself together and said "okay tommy but can i just drink a beer with you to say goodbye?" he agreed! i told him i'll meet you in the bedroom! he took his pants off and went and laid on his bed. i had my purse in the bathroom. i grabbed it and went into megan's room and told her i'm leaving don't worry". she listened and went back to sleep. in stormed tommy and came straight at me with his fingernails to the throat! i sat on the bottom bunk and put my legs up to protect me and kicked him as hard as i could. it made him madder and he didn't care if megan was pretending to be asleep! i said "tommy stop! let's go into the bedroom and relax. get me a beer" he did and went back and laid down.. he was way off his rocker. couldn't he spare the child?

i said "here i come tommy" and ran down the three flights of stairs to the front door and opened it. he was at the top of the stairs and said in a chilling voice "goodbye june".

183. running for my life

i was scared to death as i looked up to the top of the stairs to see if tommy was running down them. he was dead in his tracks silhouetted with his big belly and fruit of the looms. then when he said "goodby june" in a bone chilling voice with no emotion. i closed the door and ran as fast as i could, barefooted in my black caftan straight to the street to find the police!

since it was about 11:00 o'clock at night, the streets were baron in burbank. knowing tommy was drunk and on the rampage i figured he'd be in his car by now looking for me. i ran to the main street san fernando road and hung a left, there were hardly any cars let alone any cops. i kept running to where i almost fell down.

finally there's a police car. i waved it down. they pulled over. it was a female cop. i told her the story about the gun and slapping me. my lip was swelling up! she had me hop in front with her. she called for backup as she drove me back to get some clothing and my car.

i opened the door to my home and it was quiet. there was two more cops with us now. i yelled up to tommy and he appeared at the top of the stairs all dressed and said "come on up" he knew i wasn't alone and had backup this time.

we get upstairs to him and he acted as if nothing was wrong and wasn't drinking or anything. he used his southern charm and denied everything i told them. he mentioned names of his cop friends (the corrupt ones) in burbank. they spoke to him and checked him out as i was given 15 minutes to gather up a few items to wear. tommy took my ruby belt out of my pants and my diamond earrings etc. i got dressed.

then we all walked to the garage so i can get the hell away. i tried to start my perfectly running vw and it wouldn't start. then i knew tommy had screwed with the distributer cap so i couldn't take the car at all.

the cops wouldn't wait any longer and told me to come with them to the station and make some phone calls from there. damn him, he's a smart son of a bitch!!

i decided to grab a blanket and pillow in case i needed to rest and keep warm at the station. now i'm feeling instantly down and out and homeless! penniless! at least i'm alive to do so god bless me, why does this have to happen to me? because tommy's all the way twisted, bottom line.

i knew megan was safe, tommy would never hurt her. but he was in the process of brainwashing her against me.

i made some calls to reach tom johnson, kathy's brother. i knew he would come to my rescue. no such luck. since it was 7 years after "up in smoke" hollywood was out of reach, plus my dignity couldn't handle letting anyone know about my horrible situation. i was embarrassed.

i couldn't sit any longer at the station. now i'm walking back towards the condo to the neighbors i knew to stay with them. if you only knew how it felt being a dignified housewife of 13 years in burbank carrying a pillow and blanket at 1:00 in the morning with a blackened swollen lip looking for a place to sleep, you wouldn't like this deep depression!

i went to kathy's apt. right next door to our condo. i knocked on her door and she didn't answer, i knocked on the other neighbors doors. i knew through kathy, who's children were always at my condo or with megan and i at the movies or ragging waters whom i paid for. they wouldn't let me in to even sleep on their floor! can you believe that? i fed their kids and paid for them all the time. these people over here were on low income.

184. running for my life cont;

i knocked on megan's best friend jamie's grandma's apartment. jan answered. she welcomed me right in. we stayed up and talked for a good hour and a half. she was so comforting and sweet, god bless her.

around 7:00am. i reached tom and he told me to be careful since it was daylight and me being almost next door to the condo to meet him up the corner and that he had a friend's camper!

hooray, a house on wheels! i couldn't be found this way! tommy's corrupt cops would have tracked me too easily if i had my vw. my "juni 2" license plate made it real easy also.

we parked at hansen dam park and played cards, and sang to tom's acoustic guitar! i was actually being relaxed for the first time not having to be where tommy ruled anymore! i was having fun! we were becoming very attracted to each other! i needed a new delicate loving which i didn't have since danny!

tommy filed for child custody. that hurt me since i was so disabled financially and no place to live! how could i have her? i went and picked megan up from school a little early and took her with me eventually. i had this planned. i had to wait to get my car back!

i went shopping at nordstrom's and spent $600.00 with the credit card. i needed clothing for court.

since i owned a home and car i couldn't get legal aid. tommy had a $500.00 an hour shark lawyer. i had no representation. this made me nervous! i drank one good sized heineken. i got a pretty good buzz since i was having my period! i got stoned easier if i had my period.

this didn't help my image in court! the commissioner virginia (known as vagina) knew right away! "you've been drinking, haven't you" i told her and the whole room." yes i had one beer, but due to having my period i'm more susceptible". the whole court room cracked up!

to get to the point, she awarded tommy megan! tommy had brain washed megan against me. she sided with daddy. she couldn't help it. virginia told tommy "i can tell you are quite a drinker yourself mr. mull, make sure you give your wife all her clothes and her car back today!"

i went to the condo with tom for protection. tommy handed me a note as i went to the empty garage! he said "here this is where your car is, it's being worked on at a mechanic's house" bullshit! nothing's wrong with my car! it took over a month to get it. i was given a run around and finally went all the way out to the boonies to get it. it was just parked in this stranger's driveway with the keys in it. i jumped in and drove off! how dare tommy put me through all this shit! i was a devoted housewife for 12 and a half years. thank god i did meet someone who was gentle funny and talented.

i got megan from school and kept her with me for a while. i needed to! i was with her every day since birth! i couldn't be severed from her like that! we stayed together at her girlfriend's house with her mother. at least i got to spend time with her. she was a little cold and removed, i didn't care. tommy was doing all of this to hurt me! remember, he didn't even want me to have her to start with!

what a mess! it's time to split town all together!

185. from riches to rags

i needed a place to call home. my home wasn't safe for me anymore, but it was for my megan. i knew she was safe and had her friends and school etc. it was very hard on me to leave her since i was with her constantly for 7 years. i'm not dragging her with me being on welfare etc. i needed to get it together. the minute i ran away from tommy mull i was penniless!

tom and i ran across an old apartment building downtown la. it was on the corner of 8th street and beacon, close to union st. it wasn't far from mc arthur park. this is a tough area. i was safe having tom with me. thank god for tom. i felt as though i were on the lamb or something. mr. mull was the warden i escaped from. he had too many corrupt cop friends following me.

we knocked on the apartment building door. a grey haired, tall german man answered the door. he was wearing an ankle bracelet. apparently he was the owner slumlord. i was a little anxious. i asked him "i see that your apts. are $70.00 a month?" (it was painted on the side of the building) he said "oh no! that was years ago, it's $300.00 a month now" since i just received my 1st welfare check and food stamps, i asked him if we could give $150 for now and pay the rest very soon. i told him i just got a new job, (i was lying). he went for it! his name was ron. he was nice! he gave tom and i an old mattress and a blanket and pillow. these apts. weren't furnished either.

we were very lucky as far as i m concerned. tom and i were very happy and were very close at this point. we had good chemistry.

my new home was one room with a stove and frig. it also had a tub and toilet. thank god. i took a bath el pronto and had a big black water beetle join me, just about had a kitten!

this building consisted of three other white people. the rest were all hispanics.

three doors down were gang member's turf. there were about 10 of them, no bull.

since i had to walk by them every day i made sure to let them know that i was "the ajax lady" in "up in smoke" i needed to be protected not raped! they were cool and actually were on my side and told me to stay in when it's dark around here. i told them i was spoken for and they respected that too! they were real happy i lived next door and now the ajax lady is their new neighbor.

186. dreamland

tom johnson was a tree trimmer and his boss just died sitting up on his couch. he had just taken 50 valiums. i needed a job now!

i saw an ad in the l.a. times. hostess dancers needed. i'm 42 now but look 10 years younger, heck, i'll pass, i'm pretty enough!

in the heart of downtown there's a dancehall called dreamland. it use to be called roseland in the 40/50's. remember the song 10 cents a dance? this was it and in i went! i was hired instantly!

i started that night. there were about 20 girls. i'm the new kid on the block. we all sat on black plastic couches, on display for the gentlemen. this was a meat market! these men consisted of construction workers to millionaires!

some of the girls were pregnant. some were real hookers. it beats standing on the corner! they were 18 years old on up.

there's no alcoholic beverages or smoking. that had to be done in the restroom. i could hear some of the girls snorting cocaine in the stalls next to me every night. i just ignored it of course, just give me my paycheck. minimum wages of $6.75 an hr.

since i was white and blue eyed, i hardly sat for a minute. all we had to do was dance and listen. they paid for their time with us.

my first man kept me for two hours! he paid over a hundred at the desk and handed me a $100.00 dollar bill. i figured, this will work just fine for me!

some of these girls were gorgeous! some were not! some were cheap and skuzzy looking.

there were security guards here and there to keep an eye on the girls.

since you could also sit down with the men and not just dance all the time, you could have shakes! french fries, chicken etc,

i'll never forget talking and relaxing as best i could with a complete stranger on the couches in the back room. i heard a girl whispering behind me and laughing. i just had to take a peak and see what was so funny.

she was jacking her man off! i almost died! i became very uncomfortable. should i report this? this is not right! i wasn't warned of this behavior! i'm not like that! i just figured to grin and bear it and get my paycheck and go home.

i talked to a girl another night in the restroom and told her what i saw. she said "oh come on, if you service the men you really get big tips" i pretended that it was no big deal. i guess since i'm new the men go easy on you at first.

a few weeks later i was dancing with a little korean man, he liked me a lot. he always asked me to dance. he started to put his hand on my butt and towards my crack area! i said "no, no" he didn't speak a word of english. he listened. he behaved.

as we were dancing i see the biggest of the girls with her real short dress grab a $100. 00 bill out of her dancing man's hand. he then lifted up her skirt and unzipped his pants and crouched down a little and then push himself up into her vagina! it was hard for me not to make a face that she could read, she was looking at me as she let him screw her on the floor standing up to the music! now i get it! this is a hell hole!

i tell you this much, if she got caught doing this she would be fired immediately! they do have rules! doesn't mean some of the girls follow them. these women have babies to feed, christmas is coming, they are desperate for money. i found out that these girls would tip the security guards and they would ignore what they're up to.

187. dreamland nightmare

as i was dancing on another evening i was staring at the large potted plant in the corner. i noticed white splotches on top of the dirt, i had to look closer, i made my dancing man dance closer to the plant. then it came into view, these little oddly shaped white splotches were condoms!!!! i couldn't believe it. there must have been at least 5 or 6 of them! ohhhhh! how disgusting!!!! i just kept smiling as though everything was just wonderful. no it wasn't!

then a fast song started to play and my partner and i danced apart of course. i slipped for a moment and ignored it. then i slipped again. i figured it was some spilled water on the floor. i looked down and then i saw what it really was. it was these men's seamen! they were cuming on the floor as the girls would jack them off dancing! good lord, can we get the mop! they should take a few breaks during each night and swab the deck, just as they bring out the ice mobile to clear the ice at the skating rinks! it's a good thing i have a good sense of humor to deal with, all of this!

every night i came home after 2:00am, tom would be drunk as a skunk playing crossword puzzles naked on the carpet, smoking his rolled cigarettes (tops or bugles). this was getting old. we had very good chemistry together, so i overlooked his laziness. he also made me laugh. we sang together a lot as he played so beautifully on his guitar. back porch style funk is one of my favorites.

i would shop almost every day to build up a wardrobe for my ridiculous job. then i got a brainstorm to just wear a man's dress shirt and nothing else! underneath i wore spandex panties/bathing suit bikinis padded tight fitting so the octopuses at work couldn't get their slimy hands on my breasts! with the high heels, this was a very sexy look. it gave the illusion that i just got out of bed being with a man and just threw on his shirt and came to work! this idea of mine became a big hit! i didn't sit down for a second! the men went nuts! it was getting harder to control their wanton ways. the girls were jealous! eventually a course of the girls showed up shirts on too! i'm a leader, not a follower.

it was hard on me working at a place like this. my integrity was most important to me. my mother told me" never lose your integrity, if you do you are doomed!". i haven't yet and don't intend to start now. i went as far as to let them feel my curves, i'd feel their bulges very quickly over their pants, that's as far as i went. that's naughty enough. i didn't like doing that either, i did get bigger tips to give them a little more. as time went by my regular clients/dancing partners were starting to whip out their private part and pound their puds and wanted me to help them but i wouldn't. they grew tired of me and dropped me like a hot potato and go to the girls who would do anything. that's fine with me. i don't need that much money!

i was able to loosen up a little more since these men would bring bottles of mouth wash filled with vodka. they would poor it into my snapple. i would then kiss them and make them feel like they are the most interesting man in the world. i would hang on every word they would say as they told boring stories.

i would laugh a lot even though it took a lot of energy to do so. i didn't give a damn about these men. it was bad enough that my boyfriend was becoming my gigolo and he was starting to become abusive to me when he got drunk! as if i need another spirit breaker, woman hater.

188. dreamland nightmare cont:

i got wind that they were going to be filming a movie tomorrow night at dreamland and that they want to use all us dancers in the background. jack nicholson was going to be dancing with a dancehall girl. an actress would be playing that part. us girls would be here and there around him. there's no way that i could let jack see me working here after all these years! he wouldn't understand. i would be highly embarrassed! i just couldn't do this. so i simply just didn't go to work that night.

i hadn't talked to jack since the last phone call almost a year and a half ago.

handcuffed and taken away this night i wore a yellow and blue checked man's shirt and silver high heels, with a bathing suit underneath!

i was warned at the front desk that there was vice in the club, identity unknown.

i was asked to dance again going on the third man. this guy was fairly young looking. he had dark hair, medium height, sort of plain features, nothing to write home about. we danced one slow one and half of a fast song. this man said, can we talk privately for a second?" i agreed, we moved closer to one of the walls, not far from the potted plant. he said "if i wanted a special favor how much would it cost me?" i said "what do you mean by a special favor?" he said "something to make me feel extra good" i knew to be careful so i said "what is it that you are trying to get me to say and why?" then he said "can you give me a price to make me feel better in a very exciting way?" i said, "a price for what!" i was starting to get agitated since he was drilling me over and over again. he said "just give me a number for christ sakes! it's no big deal! i want to give you a good tip! then i got tired of this and decided to joke with him. i said "okay, what do you want to hear $60.00 for a blowjob?" (i really was only kidding) then he said "great, that's fine, that's all i needed to hear" he gave me $10. 00 and thanked me for the dancing. he walked away. then i saw one of my biggest customers and ran to him and we went upstairs and sat down, we were having a nice time considering, then out of the darkness came two burley men. they said "may we speak to you miss?" i got up and said to my friend, i don't know who they are, i'll talk to you in a minute". i got up and stood in front of these men and one said" you are under arrest for asking for money for favors" then he slapped handcuffs on me in front of everyone. this was friday night the place was packed! i was petrified.

then they walk me downstairs with my hands behind my back. i held my head down, i was embarrassed. they were walking me to the front door exit, i asked "do you mind if i grab my jeans please, i can't run around like this in public like this" they said "no you can't, you are leaving now just like you are, it doesn't seem to bother you wearing it in here." i was humiliated!

they put me in the back of the police car. i asked why are you doing this to me, i haven't done anything wrong. they said "we had one of our men you danced with and he was wired for sound. we were outside and heard everything you said. i said "listen i was just kidding with him, he wouldn't let me go until i told him a price for something. i would never do in the first place! i made the whole thing up just to see what he would do actually. i didn't think it would backfire into all of this! he dragged it out of me! he wouldn't shut up until i gave him something". they handcuffed me to a bench at the la police dept.

189. la police dept

i told the police that they have made a big mistake. i'm not a prostitute. i'm an actress. i make love on camera to clint eastwood and got paid for that. "thunderbolt and lightfoot" i played the part of a hooker in that, i'm not a whore in real life. i'm a good old fashion woman. i'm just working at that place to pay my rent and eat, so i can go back to acting.

they looked at each other and scratched their heads, they knew i was june fairchild in hiding and surviving one way or another.

i was released on entrapment. it was the vice that was wrong to put me through all this, he picked the wrong girl.

my new found cat "pooper" one year of dancing at "dreamland" had gone by. tom hasn't changed a bit. no work, drinking cobra and chain smoking roolies.

behind my apartment was an old stinky alley. i heard a baby kitten crying. i tried not to pay any attention since i still had three cats, (tonkinese) back in burbank with megan and tommy.

this crying cat didn't stop for two days. "i didn't need an extra mouth to feed. i couldn't stand it anymore. i had tom jump over this high gate and look inside a small cardboard box. he said "it's a baby kitten stuck to it's own shit". i told him to bring it to me. i could see that this must have been the runt of the litter.

it hardly had hair on it's feet it was so small. it was white, and too small to see any markings yet. it's eyes looked black, too small for any color. it was a girl. it's left foot was crooked.

someone had stepped on it and then just threw her away in this box! sad sight, so young and all alone. i thought since she was stuck to her feces', what a shitty situation, i'll call her "pooper".

we brought "pooper" inside. i fed her some milk through the top of a pen. her eyes were barely open. she was only a week old. i didn't think she would make it. tom now has a job babysitting pooper when i danced at night. that helped me not to worry. put this 38 year old bum to some other use.

190. a second marriage? - hallucinations?

it's 1994. tommy mull got a divorce in 1993. i got visitation rights, and was slapped with spousal support. tommy applied for disability due to lung cancer. tommy's father died of throat cancer from smoking a pipe for many years. tommy kept his trucking co. under the table at the same time. i do believe he needed extra cash for his gambling addiction. isn't it hard enough for me as is being a hostess dancer? i was making around $2000.00 a month with tips and all. oh well! i never paid a nickel, it was too wrong to do this to me.

i had also been working on getting rid of tom the gigolo for one solid year. he was like a barnacle on a pier. he really wore out his welcome at this point.

i received a phone call from mr. reb foster, the famous d.j. known him since 1965. the cousin of william jackson utley's business partner for reb foster and associates. they handled the rock groups, steppenwolf, the turtles, and three dog night.

reb wanted to come and visit me. it's been too long since we've seen each other. (strictly platonic). reb show's up with a 5th of vodka and his mutt dog with a red scarf around his neck. i prepared tom to behave and that reb was like an uncle to me.

i was so excited to see reb again, i gave him all my attention and was kissing him on the cheek a lot. the vodka was disappearing quickly between the three of us. tom was getting jealous! reb was getting annoyed with him interrupting so much. they began to quarrel with each other. they were rising to a fever pitch. they were standing up now yelling into each other's face! reb decided to leave as quickly as possible. reb said goodbye to me and quickly opened the door and stepped outside the hall. i lived at the top of the stairs. tom ran out riqht behind him and and socked reb in the face! reb lost his balance and he fell down the staircase like a raggedy ann doll! he had such a glow with drinking it kept him relaxed enough to not break a bone or get hurt from this fall at all! thank god!

reb called bill utley to pick him up! little did i know that they were roommates, sharing an apartment! i was all excited about seeing bill utley again! i always admired his brains and strength within him to handle these rock and rollers so beautifully. bill had class. bill had money and he was also divorced from his last wife. i ran outside to see bill and say hello. he pulled up in a nice silver car. i had on my black silk caftan robe. i was drunk and opened his car door and sat right on his lap and gave him a big kiss! it had been years since i've seen him. reb was rescued and sitting in the back. reb was too drunk to drive home.

bill was wearing a straw hat and nice slacks and a crisp white shirt. he had a dapper salt and pepper goatee little custom designed beard, his face was like a road map. he was still a handsome devil. had to be in his 70's now! i gave him my home number and he gave me his. we must get together sometime, have dinner etc. bill was a ferocious, debonair genius!

i couldn't stop spinning my wheels over bill! my last husband couldn't hold a candle to bill. who cares, i was looking forward to seeing bill again.

191. mrs. william jackson utley

tom was gone. talk about excess baggage? at least i wasn't all alone in this rough territory, we did have a love for one another. end of chapter.

bill invited me over to his apartment for the first time after he had visited me in my little room with candlelight get togethers.

he would call me "darling" and mean it. i just fell head over heels for him. he did divulge the information on danny's behavior in hawaii. remember i filmed with jack nicholson in eugene oregon. danny was fooling around. i'm working faithfully as usual. i knew it. bill said he did not admire danny's behavior when he has such a beautiful good woman as me. bill also said that danny should have given me his mercedes instead of only leasing me a vw. i should have been bought a home not leased one. i was glad to hear the real truth about danny. this made me feel even closer to this ex business manager of these famous rock groups.

bill was no longer in the music business. he was a work at home paralegal. he's so smart and dapper. i was smitten.

bill's apartment was really beautifully put together. high back chairs, marble end tables. classy dining room next to the small but darling kitchen. there were two bedrooms. nice long bath room. i was pleased to see bill was very much together as he always was. bill told me that his last two wives got the homes with swimming pools and the fine china and opera pearls etc. bill made million's off the music industry. there were rumors he pillford millions from these groups, that's only hear say. who knows, who cares. i can only look up to bill.

out of nowhere bill ask me to marry him! i couldn't believe it! i said "yes!" instantly. i ran to the yellow pages to find us a church etc. bill laughed at me in doing so. he loved my eagerness. he said "don't worry about that darling, we'll get married in bullhead city, it's quick there".

i made arrangements to have my beloved "pooper" to be babysat by the talented black lady that lived down the hall from me. just for a couple of weeks so i could get married and prepare for her then. i was afraid she would wreck bill's beautiful chairs since pooper had ripped my little couch down to the wood frame. i needed time to think. so i paid this woman and took all pooper's toys and favorite food etc. it broke my heart to leave her with a stranger. i had no choice, it was only temporary. i moved all my clothing to my new home. what a relief!

i was still working as a hostess dancer downtown. bill showed up downtown and sat on the black couches not knowing that's where the girls are on display. i laughed at him and so did everyone else. i told them that's my fiancé! he's 75 years old and good looking. the girls said, "boy, you got a good one".

then bill walked up to the shady heavies that run this dark place and confronted them by saying "june no longer works here" and we walked out! that was the end of this place! i no longer had to struggle so! i had been saved by my knight in shining armor. i just didn't know he would be a senior citizen! there was no age to bill. he was my new love of my life!

bill bought me a beautiful antique off white laced dress from the 30's. at least i'm not wearing jeans and a fancy sweatshirt with diamonds as i did with mr. tommy mull.

192. deja vu

being mrs. june utley is something to be proud of. i wonder how three dog night would think about this? did i do this for spite?, maybe, maybe not. regardless, i loved bill and he saved me by putting me back in the life style i'm use to.

i asked bill about this apartment complex. he told me that timmy alvarado was the owner, danny's best friend. i freaked! i had no idea that this is where danny and i first moved in together when we were madly in love! i was 19 yrs. old and danny was 25! since it's been forty years or more, how could i remember!!!

i ran outside and headed towards the back of the apartments. i looked up to the right. i could feel to go upstairs. i was in front of danny's and my apartment, i got the manager to let me in to look. it was empty inside, it was available to rent.

he let me in. since i'm already cranked up from vodka, i was real emotional! i asked to be alone for a minute. i started rubbing the walls and feeling the love that was in this room when we lived here. this was hard on me. it was the feeling of the death of our love. it was this empty room. there seemed to be not much left in me since i had to leave danny. this was déjà vu for real! i just broke down and cried! i needed to contain myself to walk back to my 75 year old husband, up front!

what's wrong with this picture? it's a three dog nightmare! i'm now married to their ex business manager! he's the one who got three dog rolling. and the one who actually took danny away from me. the fame and drugs and cheating, destroyed me! now i must put on a smile and be with bill.

bill said "how do you feel darling?" i just said "oh fine, how nice to remember how i felt back then. then bill said "darling, all you have to do is get naked and just sit on the couch across from me and drink with me! that's all i ever wanted you to do. i almost died inside. i went and made a real stiff drink, took off my clothes and did exactly that. what else could i do? he's my new husband.

the fox fire bill and i would pound on the back door of the fox fire bar to nurse our huge hangovers all the time! bill called the regular patrons "the geriatric crowd. lot's of old fart fixtures etc.. our regular hangout. bill's monthly bar tab was $500.00 a month. he was a free spending man. everybody knew bill there. he would be rude at times. he got away with it too!

rer foster's here one afternoon bill and i are drinking our screwdrivers. there's a knock on the door. i opened it. it was my good friend reb foster, bill's cousin. he say's "i left my key here".

i looked at bill, he said "darling i forgot to tell you that reb lives here too" the extra room is his" oh well, i thought to myself i love reb very much in another way, what's wrong with that, besides, i can get more insight to what makes bill tick. now i'm living with two chronic alcoholics. i'll now wear a robe as i sit on the couch drinking. now i must keep up with two heavy sons of beautiful guns and be the hostess with the mostess as usual!

when reb and i where alone i would probe a little about bill. i asked reb "where does bill get his explosiveness?" reb said, "bill's got small man's syndrome" "he's a short man so they compensate by being loud and controlling" i said "i've always looked up to bill. i never noticed this even though he wasn't much taller than me.

193. from the frying pan into the fire

one year had gone by being married to bill. it mainly consisted of dining out at restaurants and after drinks at the fox fire or the studio suite bar on riverside drive.

reb decided to move out after six months or so bill and i could have more privacy.

bill's mother had become ill. our drinking escalated. it got to the point we would take turns taking care of each other when one of us went way out of the picture. bill would throw me in the shower, feed me etc. i would have to pound on bill's chest when he would stop breathing and turn blue to revive him. the emphysema and cigarettes and booze was becoming too much for his lungs. the alcohol would suppress his system and he would just start coughing and then his tongue would stick out and he would then faint!

i on the other hand got so far out there i was found outside in my robe in a trance rocking back and forth, this was a black out bout. bill brought me inside and laid me on the couch and then i had a convulsion! i came around waking up in a hospital! this really scared me! bill was very worried. before you knew it we were right back to drinking again but i cut down a little more.

bill finds out his mother had died! oh no! now what's going to happen? bill went to the funeral. he returned another man. he was so devastated he was beside himself. he was a shell of himself. it's as if he died with his mother. she had left him $80,000. bill said he's not going to paralegal anymore. he told me to go to the liquor store and buy a fifth of vodka. i did. i made him a drink and myself to console him. i sat on the floor next to his feet as he sat in his blue high backed chair. he was silent for a while. i just looked up at him like his little puppy. then bill says "i want you to find another man, you must always have a man darling". i was shocked! i tried to talk and bill shushed me and then said "darling i'm going to kill myself with alcohol, i'm of sound mind" i couldn't close my mouth with disbelief! then he said " i expect you to make my vodka runs for me every day. if you don't i'll go get it anyway".

bill let his business go downhill. i would make the continual runs. i was ordered to pull out $500.00 from the atm whenever he told me so. now we are both drinking naked across from one another all day long, day in day out. i was getting scared because bill would go off the handle over nothing. then he'd pass out once or twice a day so i was on watch to revive him to get him breathing again.

when he did wake up he'd be real pissed off! i told him "i just want to save you bill, i can't let you die! " he said "yes you can, stop reviving me!" i always kept saving him, over and over again. then there were many times i just had to call the paramedics he wasn't that easy to bring back at times. i didn't even know cpr! i just screamed at him as i pounded on his good sized chest! then i would have to visit him in the hospital. then i'd go home and drink alone.

i would sit and listen to bill's old repetitive stories about his rodeo days and boxing days, the other wives stories, the rock and roll group managing. he also told me a true story about himself.

he told me he robbed the bank of america all by himself and got away with it. he said as he ran down the street some of the money was blowing down the street! he swore this really happened. i believed him. i was also impressed in the strangest way. he's got huevos! he used to have any of the groupies leftovers of three dogs. blowjobs right and left!

i wouldn't make a run one day for bill. he went and ran right into the traffic! i never let this happen again.

194. i married myself hallucinaions started after that!!!

as i struggled to survive drinking with bill our first wedding anniversary came around. i went and picked up two duck ala orange dinners from la petite chateau restaurant. i put on my wedding dress. i had the table fixed beautifully. i got two bottles of mumms champagne. the candles were lit, music was on. i decided i would make sure our marriage was going to last no matter how grueling it had become. i called out for bill to please come out and let's celebrate our anniversary. ha was dressed! (amazing in itself, he was always so saturated in alcohol he was always naked, skinny and never ate anymore, i was always so worried) nevertheless, there was my husband in all his glory with one of his beautiful suits on, neck scarf and all! this pleased me.

he sat down across from me. he stared at this delicious dinner as if it were a hot dog. he didn't even look at me hardly. no compliments? that's not the man i married. that was not my dapper bill. he wouldn't even take a bit of his food. he just got up from the table and went back to the bedroom and passed out.

i poured myself a glass of champagne and toasted to myself and said "i now will be married to myself". i then drank both bottles of champagne and ate all my dinner alone! i started to hallucinate a little with the outside lights from the building next door. the lights were beginning to dance for me etc. went to the music, i actually was enjoying this. poor me. i'm alone and reaching out to lights to celebrate with. i could hear the neighbors talking.

i kept drinking the night away. the air conditioner was right next to me as i sat at the dining room table. i leaned down and put my ear up to it. all of a sudden i could hear voices talking to me! it didn't scare me, i was drunk and this is one of the side effects, i got into it. i wasn't alone anymore.

i went and laid down next to bill and went to sleep. i woke up a couple of hours later. i was alone. i didn't move since i started hearing a beautiful mandolin small harp playing right into my ear on the pillow. i was entranced by this magical original endearing melody.

then a loving voice started singing along with it. she was singing just for me. she actually spoke to me and she was a white and black witch. we had a full conversation. i was having a ball. it was so real! i was in a fantasy land of my own, right in my bedroom!

then i could hear the neighbors abusing a child. i put on my robe and put my loaded snub nose 357 magnum in my pocket. i ran outside and was outside on the sidewalk looking up at the next apartment building listening to the crying child. this was around 4:30 in the morning. of course i'm wasted, and i'm going to be the one to save this little girl!

well, a police car pulls right up along side of me! i was frozen in my tracks! i've got a gun in my pocket! they would be glad to see it! this sobered me up! they asked me "what are you doing out here at this time of night mam in your robe?" i talked quickly and explained what i was hearing and went home. thank god they didn't frisk me or anything.

i went back and laid down. drank a vodka and orange juice. i was such an unsettled soul i woke up after passing out. i heard weird voices in the closet! it scared me! then the sheet began to move underneath me without pulling me off! it was like being on a ride in a fun house. my house was becoming one! it wasn't that fun!

then i smelled rubber burning underneath my bed! then i saw a glowing white mouse run across the room. the blinds were laughing at me. i was going insane!

195. auditory halucinations and visual ones too!

i woke up the next morning with a hangover, made a drink. my husband had disappeared.

i checked out the blinds to see if they were still alive, they began to snicker at me as if they were watching me. then a voice spoke to me and said "i'm the rhyming man" then he'd started rhyming riddles and doing this at a fast speed. i couldn't believe it! i wasn't afraid i was mesmerized. this entertaining man i couldn't see made me laugh real hard. i communicated to him by thinking to him and he would then join me and comfort me! i wasn't alone anymore. he was brilliant and exhilarating, i fell in love with his personality. talk about home entertainment! all you have to do is saturate yourself with vodka and you can enter other dimensions! (no shit sherlock!)

now i understood why i would see people playing imaginary baseball on street corners talking to themselves! the odd thing is that i didn't realize that that's what i was doing myself! this was so much fun, never had this much fun at home in my life. it was magic! the blinds were smiling at me, all around me. we had so many of them. i was surrounded by loving blinds nurturing me. june's cocoon room in the living room and in my bedroom. on my way to the kitchen i noticed two good sized suitcases by bill's blue chair. i figured he was leaving me, i wasn't quite sure since i was tweaking on alcohol! i went to the bathroom and did my duty. i started looking in the cupboard underneath the sink. i noticed a box of men's hair dye. bill used this to darken his grey beard. there was a handsome man on the box. i couldn't take my eyes off of him, before you knew it he became the devil to me. his features were turning ugly, he was snarling at me like cussing at me minus the words! i put him away as quickly as possible. i walked quickly back into the living room, what's this?

the two suitcases had been moved over to the other side of the room! bill must be playing tricks on me! where is he?, i don't hear him! what's going on here?

i laid down on the couch to relax. i looked around and the whole room and knick knacks seemed to glow to a red golden color. they were watching me too! i grabbed my face and head and wondered what's next? these birds started flying around the outside of my apartment in a circle. since my eyes were closed that's how i envisioned them. they weren't small ones either! they were singing loudly with a beautiful melody "the power of love will save your soul" over and over again as if to instill in me to never stop loving yourself and to save myself before it's too late. this did not scare me, just the opposite. it was as if god himself was doing this. he was talking to me through the birds! it was an omen from their voices! warning me to be careful etc.!

then i heard musicians warming up for a concert in the apartment above me! i guess it's the new neighbors. i laid still to listen. was god rehearsing? it was three people that i heard talking. two women and one man. they called him. he called the women one young and one old, and ma ma sweet pea sr. the older one was the one singing and i visualized dancing in a long black dress.

sang like one of the four top's, he was a fifth top to me. they played a real long rock and roll jam. i knew they didn't know i was listening.

then the older woman said "how do you like that one sweetie pea!?" she was looking down at the ceiling at me! the voice was directed right at me! it was that black and white witch! she was being sweet! she's the one with the mandolin! they always know i'm listening for them. they're the ones who where abusing the child genie next door last night!

god help me!!! they where the birds too!!!!

196. living in two dementions

"what else would you like besides the popov vodka? how about an easy to eat stouffer's lasagna? bill said, "just the vodka darling". what else is new?

i would keep the voices at bay during the day even though they were faintly there all the time. i had to function for my daughter megan. she called me and asked me to pleases help her. dad's got shit in his underwear and can't change himself, "i can't do it mom" of course i'll do it. now i'm on my way to clean my ex abusive husband (the monster's) fruit of the looms! i gave bill his vodka and off i went to tommy mull. talk about a shitty situation! he sold the condo and moved to a one bedroom apartment. megan had the bedroom of course. since he was racked with lung cancer and it now has spread to the lymph nodes, i knew he could not hurt me. i did this duty a couple of times. i told megan, "hang in there with your father, who knows what can happen".

tommy had to be put in a convalescent home to be cared for. i found one for his other daughters caryn. i made visits to him and got him ice cream etc. he couldn't write unless he held his hand. he signed over what money he had in the bank. it was only $1500.00.

he told me to keep megan close, she needs to be with her own blood to cry on a shoulder. i knew it would be a matter of time he would die.

the bigger they are the harder they fall! at the same time i've been calling paramedics to help me with bill's fainting alcoholic spells. i needed outside help with him it was becoming too much for me. how about my state of living? i'm still drinking but with caution! now i'm visiting bill in the hospital and then clear over to glendale visiting tommy. i'm juggling two husbands at the same time! megan had her friends and school. i was always in close touch with her all the time no matter what i was going through, (my boozie nightmare existence was still going on).

tommy mull dies tommy always told me "june one day i'm going to retire at the track". i thought this as i spread his ashes in the ivy in the infield at santa anita racetrack, as a plane flies over saying "tommy mull was here". he certainly is, and here to stay forever.

megan moves back with mom it's been five years since i lived with my daughter. how exciting for me! i've got my baby back! i was worried how it because of bill's chronic drinking binges. he didn't like the idea at all. he's her step father! good luck. he's suicidal! good luck!

bill actually got dressed up just for megan! i only saw him naked for many months. the incredible shrinking man was at least clothed. that was my private name i gave him, since we hardly talked any more.

i showed megan her room. this was reb foster's. she liked the set up. i had to be on my toes!

197. migets in the trees

megan's sitting where i usually do naked across from bill. i got something for megan to drink. i made a very watered down screw driver for bill. i made a decent one for myself. i was nervous as to how will this work?

as i'm staring out the screen door listening to voices in the trees fixed in a trance. bill and megan are hitting it off quite well!

i had an urge to be alone. i adjourned to my bedroom to take a break. with drink in hand, i stared into the taller than me big thick leaves outside the window. all of a sudden i see midget people frozen in a fixed walking position heading towards me! they looked like leprechauns. i guess i was snow white and they were the seven dwarfs! vivid brilliant colors they wore with little hats! they just stared at me, but didn't move. i wish they would have.

then i noticed a small woman in black silhouette holding the end of a long old fashioned dress. somehow i knew that was supposed to be me! why wasn't i in color? does this mean i barely exist to my little friends anymore?

then i hear a voice calling my name, a vision came before me, it was a man sitting in a director's chair wearing an irish hat and tweed suit sitting in the middle of the little people. then i see his facial features. it was danny hutton!!! he spoke to me with a big smile. he was warning me "if you don't stop drinking june, you are going to die". so the midgets were coming to save me and so was danny.

this was an emotional show outside in the plants!! i was crying and smiling at the same time. how nice to see danny care about me!! i've missed him so. then i decide to put on my wedding dress slip and nothing else. a very pretty silk beige one. i decided to go with danny and the dwarfs!!! it's a much more colorful world!! i opened the window and jumped into the plants!!! (megan and bill are talking)

i picked myself up and brushed off the dirt. i needed to find my entourage! where did they go? i decided to walk down the street and look for them. i pretended to be blind for sympathy to bring them back to me as i walked.

valley village is a very respectable neighborhood. her i am a drunken housewife out of her rocker walking half naked seemingly down the clean sidewalk. the voices said "don't worry you are doing fine just keep walking we'll help you see".

i was next to a swimming pool next door. should i jump in? nope! just keep walking, the voices said. i looked behind and saw about 10 cop cars lined up down the street. i figured i would go see why! as i got closer they disappeared! they were a mirage! just like in the desert! poof! they're gone!

i turned back the other way and looked behind me on the ground. i noticed red dots. then i looked at my feet and there was blood on them and my slip!!! ohhh! i started my period and it was going down my leg!!!

i kept walking worried about my slip staining and all of a sudden these strong hands came around my waist! it was bill! he grabbed hold of me and picked me up and carried me back home down the street.

he saved me again as we always saved each other with the side effects of drinking! megan was in her room, thank god. bill put me in the shower. washed the blood out of my slip!

i asked megan if she was okay she said "yes mom i'm fine". i hid this whole act from her. i went to sleep. god knows i could use a breather! to say the least!

the death of my heart with danny and the death of tommy mull, and the death of my current living husband and the consumption of alcohol to deal with. it takes a toll!!! what's going to happen tomorrow?

198. hershey squirts and twin towers and then some

i invited the neighborhood kids over to help keep my daughter busy since she is minus a father. i pulled out my karaoke machine.

i decided that the girls should sing together and have their own girls singing rehearsals. let's form a new young girl's band! wow, how exciting. megan was the lead singer. they were singing their favorite songs in sweet harmony. they were having a ball! they did this regularly.

there was an incident i'll never forget. one time as the girls were singing, my husband comes out of the back room and walks completely stark naked looking like he just walked out of a concentration camp with his bloated belly and skinny legs and walked right in front of all of us dropping little hershey squirt trail of diarrhea on the rug behind him. he was in a drunken trance! i was horrified! the girls jaws were hanging in disbelief! thank god they laughed! i can't believe they didn't scream! yes, there's my husband in all his glory!

megan ended my drunken binges. she never really knew, i wouldn't do that to her. i knew i was over the top with my auditory hallucinations! i stopped drinking hard liquor, this helped big time!

megan wasn't real impressed with her step father, even if he did buy her a $500.00 toy poodle!

bill would go off and strike the both of us!

i called the police! he was put in twin towers jail for a good three months! it was so peaceful now! i decided to move us down the street to a new apartment. the neighbors were happy about this since they petitioned to throw bill out!!! he was always yelling etc.

i was working as a hostess dancer to pay our rent. i didn't touch bill's bank account at all. we fended for ourselves.

he even had his son joey jr. visit and stay over too! this was off and on for a while. i didn't mind. joe was like a brother to me!

199. howard hughes on a captians bed

my husband's time was at twin towers. i was there to pick up bill with a half pint of popov vodka and a pack of camel cigarettes. he was sweet and loving.

i was actually bringing him home to a new apartment to try and make this marriage work! his furniture looked even better in this very large living room.

megan made sure not to be there. i told her your step father will be home today. she said "who give's a rat's ass!". i understood how she felt.

bill sat with me for about thirty minutes as he felt this new arrangement. he then said "take me back to my apartment right now" i told him there's nothing there except for your brass captains bed, the neighbors and manager do not want you on the premises." he said "i don't care, i will sit and squat as long as i feel like it". he meant business.

he had another set of keys with him. i was so nervous driving back to the embarrassment of bringing him back to a place that had been gutted out. the tenants will be furious with me etc..

luckily no one saw us walk in. bill went straight to the spare bedroom, took off his clothes and sat down on the bed and said he then told me to make him a run to the liquor store as usual. i bought him a couple of deli sandwiches and another 5th of vodka and a carton of camels. i asked him if he'd be alright. he said "of course darling, i'm back at home where i belong". you cannot tell bill what to do ever and that's it! i was actually protecting him from these irate neighbors! he couldn't care less. that's my barnacle bill. at least he knew his furniture was safe etc.

everyday i'd drop by to see how he was doing. he stopped shaving and cutting his fingernails. i had to look both ways before i'd get to the front door, i was extremely paranoid the apt. manager would confront me.

i was so embarrassed. bill always had a very distinguished beard. now he resembled howard hughes at his worst! he didn't give a shit. bill knows all the rules in remain in your apartment after you've been thrown out! he's a paralegal.

i'll never forget going by to see bill as usual and three of his grown adult children where all around him. they looked at me as if they wanted to lunge on me and hurt me. they were verbally abusive and blaming me entirely for him sitting in his apartment amongst nothing, in his drunken condition!

i had nothing to do with his chronic alcoholic problem! bill then sided with them and said "she took my furniture etc" no i didn't, i was saving it for him. i really didn't want it. i also was not touching his bank account, only when he told me i could. i was lucky to get out of there in one piece! these people were my enemies, including bill.

bill was taken to a convalescent home in reseda. megan and i were trying to hold our own. i started drinking more when it was safe and i didn't have to dance on certain nights downtown! how did i do this and remain in one piece?

i talked to bill and visited him at this convalescent home off and on.

too much time had gone by so i called the home to check up on bill. they told me "bill utley tried committing suicide last night. he cut his wrists in the bathtub" i couldn't believe it! then i did remember reb foster said he was suicidal. makes sense now! i found bill at a valley hospital. bill said "yes, i tried to kill myself. i got in the bathtub and even made sure the water was good and hot to help me bleed to death but since it wasn't working, i called 911 myself". do you believe this?

200. micheal casey, my soldier in my corner!!!!!

megan and i are enjoying living together for the first time alone in our new apartment. she's always with her friends as usual.

on occasion i would drop in at the studio suite, a small bar on riverside and whitsett. i needed a break from still hostess dancing and running the apartment.

one early evening i was sitting on the bar stool and out of nowhere two men were standing right in front of me. the short dark haired one said "my name is fred campbell and this is michael casey, he's the only american vietnam poet, he's in the libraries. this michael casey had grey hair and piercing blue svengali eyes. he was wearing an air force camouflaged jacket on with the name "casey" on it. i was taken aback by him. then he said to me "if i were a woman i'd want to be just like you". i laughed at that one great line. he was a correspondent for the la times since vietnam. i was so impressed with his road map face that glowed like a thin leprechaun in heat. this is a man who loves and wallows in life. i gave him my phone number.

the phone was ringing off the hook! it was michael. he just had to see me. i met up with him. he lived close to me. we started walking together. he had a bottle 1/2 pint of taaka! he asked me "would you like a shooter?" sure i did. we drank as we walked through the neighborhood. we got to cambridge farms market and sat down outside. i went in and got some more vodka and beer. we parked ourselves by the front door so he could observe all the different characters that came in and out of the market.

he talked to all of them as they walked by as we snuck our shooters. michael would jump up and ask old armenian men "what's your home country?" just to get them talking.

the women were his favorite. he'd say "love the hat" and that would make them light up. he made me laugh so hard i couldn't believe a man such as he existed. he was so refreshing.

here's a good one. michael walked up to a short over weight ordinary woman and said to her "you've got lips like the gods!" that did it. and they actually loved him instantly for saying such an overbearing thing to a complete stranger. this went on all day long. i have never been so entertained. he was a magic man. his gift was his presence! he should be wearing a ribbon suit, what's inside of him is such a unique gift that has never been seen before. one of a kind.

as he took breaks he would then relish me. he'd look at me right down through my feet. he didn't miss any part of me. he knew my story. he would now stick by me and made sure i needn't worry anymore.

then he said out of nowhere "i want to show you my foot" he took off his custom made black leather shoe. he took off his sock. he said "this foot means a lot to me". "it was thin and smaller then his other one. he then said "i was wounded in the war. i was shot eight times and survived". he was sharing his much honored deformity to me. he had such a delicate soul. i was grateful for him opening up to me. he then said "i'm going to seduce you with ink" then he kissed me.

it felt right to me. i was in hog heaven running with him. he became my walking talking companion. he wrote me beautiful poems customized for me on all kinds of paper and cards nonstop. they were ingenious.

you see he was a very prolific writer that moves mountains and certainly hearts too!

201. soldier in my corner cont.

as we continued walking through the neighborhood, michael stopped inside every shop and talk to anything that moved inside of them. they all seemed to know him. it didn't matter to him one way or the other, he just loved the people. he loved to find out what made them tick. it's the reporter in him. he'd take notes when the urge hit him.

just going into the 7-11 was a riot with him. he'd talk to the rug heads nonstop. they would even put up with him. i love every one too, i'm not making fun at them when i say rug head, don't take me wrong.

i'll never forget going into mcdonalds. he would stop at every table and say things like "you sure make a great couple" etc.. he entertained complete strangers all the time. then i see he's got another bottle of taata hanging out of his back pocket as he was in this family restaurant! i was starting to get a little embarrassed! i got him to leave finally.

we'd then got on a bus i sat down i figured michael would be close behind me, he was still standing half way up the steps as the bus took off. he then moved to the top and stop and stare at his instant audience of dead pan faces all packed inside by side and then michael proceeded to lighten them all up by saying ridiculous things and crack them up!

it was getting dark. then michael said "i want you to meet someone" he took me to his house. he was married but i didn't ask him much about it. it was a medium sized stucco house with a brick wall covering the back yard of it. he put his fingers together and bent down as if to help me get on a horse!

i said what are you doing?" he said the wall is too tall we need to jump over it the doors locked. "okay, up i went, then he jumped over and caught me on the other side. then he goes to the open sliding glass door. he opens it. i'm completely in the dark with this.

he told me to follow him. we get to another glass wall inside and it was very dark. there was someone in a bed. he turned on a little light. he pulls back the covers with the strangest look on his face like half nuts or something.

then he pulled back the covers real quick, and there was a young teenage girl with a smile on her face and glowing white skin with flaming beautiful red hair! her eyes were electric turquoise blue!

then michael said "i want you to meet joanna. she's my youngest daughter. i went and sat on the bed close to her and said 'hi joanna" she didn't speak back. i asked if she's having sweet dreams?" no response except smiling back at me.

i did a little donald duck talk to her. she laughed and wrinkled her cute nose. i know something wasn't right, but overlooked it. michael didn't say anything except to tell her she's his girl and how much he loves her.

then he covered her up and let her go back to sleep! michael took me to his refrigerator to get something to drink and then out of nowhere a woman in a nightgown was screaming and ran up to michael and said "michael what are you doing here as she's checks me out at the same time. i was frozen in my tracks! she seething mad! "i told you to stay away. how dare you come into my house and wake up joanna! she was fixed on him, not me thank goodness! she said "i want you to leave right now! get out! we left that's for sure! i was a nervous wreck. as he walked me home he told me "don't mind gwen, she's always like that. she's my wife of 35 years. i have seven daughters and one son.

you just met my precious joanna. she has rett syndrone. she one of our silent angels. she was born that way. there's only a couple thousand with rett's. i'll never forget her. she topped our day.

202. cry help!!!!

bottom line it became too much for me losing two husbands and drinking too much. i was glad to have michael casey as a soldier in my corner.

bill's car, which he did let me use was impounded just from me putting too much oil in it. it was really smoking and i was pulled over. left my license at home so they just hauled it off. it was too expensive to get out and bill couldn't help to get it out. i had to turn to public transportation. bussing is a whole new experience for me.

i was late on the rent. i felt like the carpet was being pulled out from under me. i'm going down! i must put a stop to this!

i called chuck negron and told him to please save me!! he told me not to worry. he told me he's going to put me in cri help!! this is the drug rehab that saved him from heroine addiction. "three dog night's other lead singers threw him out because of this.

cri help is the only place with a certain system that seems to work for alcoholics too.

chuck brought in some movers to put all my things and megan's in storage! what would i have done without him?

i sent megan on her way to another family and friends to watch over her. mom was now entering a high end rehab. i was put on welfare. since chuck had such pull and clout with this $2,000.00 a month place. i didn't have to pay or worry anymore. i had been saved.

cri help is a 90 day regimented existence. aa meetings everyday. my councilor told me alcohol abuse and depression leads to hallucinations and voices. loneliness keeps them with you. you think you hear them (auditory hallucinations) and so you actually can have a friendship with them. sad? not really. i had fun observing my state of mind. i made myself a guinea pig to see how far i can take this other dimension. i carried around with me.

here i am at cri help signing autographs, since i was the ajax lady in "up in smoke".

i was assigned to the kitchen cafeteria. they had excellent food.

i loved the huge aquarium in the gorgeous lobby as you enter this place. chuck negron's plague is on the wall with a hologram picture of him. he thanks them for saving him and others.

i was letter perfect in there. i was on ibuprofen. very constipating.

i was looking forward to the huge graduation they give for the ones who make it through the 90 day program.

michael casey came to visit me. he even brought joanna in her wheelchair to visit. he took pictures of course, that's the reporter in him.

after two months i came down with the flu on a weekend, they put me in one of the cri help vans and drove me to sylmar olive view hospital. i was given antibiotics. i was sick as a dog. i took one of these pills right away, when we got back to cri help i handed my prescription to a swedish woman in charge on the weekend. the regular staff aren't on the premises. i told this woman i had already took one pill. she said "you what?" "you are not allowed to take any medication without being watched by us first! you will be leaving today because of this!" i didn't believe this! this was an uncalled for inhumane act! i was deathly ill. i had $50.00 on the books that i couldn't have till monday! i was on the street sick and penniless, homeless!

203. the garage !!!!

i was a sound board for fred campbell. since he so graciously let me stay on his couch, i had no choice. i ate when fred ate. i drank when fred drank his beer. i like beer. what else is new?

i was easy prey to it since my rehab dumped me like an old bag of groceries! i was too worried not to drink. fred was a vietnam vet with exposure to agent orange. he said he was subjected to it on a ship, he felt like he was burned on the inside of his body just like a microwave oven. this gave him violent mood swings. yes! i'll be your loving sound board! god be with me now!! it's a good thing he's intelligent, sweet and funny. fred looked like a new york bart simpson gone mad!

luckily, michael casey and joanna lived right around the corner. how convenient!

michael finally surfaces and shows up at fred's door! what a relief! my soldier has come! he took me from fred's to have a walk. he told me he's living in the garage behind his wife's house so he can be next to "joanna and keep an eye on her. he suggested to give fred a break and stay overnight with him in the garage. he said she'll never know, we just have to be quiet. i do love this soldier that i have on a pedestal.

over the wall i go when it's dark, we get to be together again, how romantic!

this garage was used as storage space since his wife collected so much stuff. there was only one old couch, a chest of drawers with a lamp. you could hardly move amongst all the clutter. there was a good sized plastic bucket to do your duty in. michael janitored this, pine-sol and all! there were holes in the ceiling. this old wooden garage was very magical to me. it's what's inside that counts. candlelight and all.

michael kept watch as if there was a war going on at any minute!

we kissed and he made me feel safe. everything is going to be okay. to be in a place you don't belong just adds to the intensity of just being together no matter what or where! he even had a radio. we made music without it. just talking and laughing quietly, being together.

i was always paranoid that his wife/son would come in. michael made me a place to hide in case she did come back to see the father of her children, it was under a large shelf. he put one of joanna's baby mattresses underneath. then he found a large piece of black cloth hanging down over me. i was now his hidden treasure. i was protected. "you will be safe, don't worry".

michael knew the routine with joanna. every morning the disabled children's school bus shows up. i'm hiding as michael goes out to help put joanna in her chair on the bus. i'd vamoose after that and meet him at the local donut shop!

i was always jumping over the wall as michael on the other side to catch me and bring me home to him. when you are falling in love with a man you have just for him as a person you can't help but be with them no matter where they are. i was seeing fred as little as possible. he's lonely too!

since his wife is a retired cornel in the air force and now is a specialty nurse. i could then use her shower in the house.

michael and i could run together again in the day and hang out by cambridge farms market and all the other places of businesses his acquaintances ran. we lived on the streets in the day and slept in the garage at night. he was a new good protective friend/drinking partner etc..

i love people for what they are. i don't have sex at the drop of a hat.

michael was just giving me a place to sleep. on welfare now was helping me save money.

204. union rescue mission

since michael and his excellent wife weren't getting along it didn't bother me that i was sleeping in her garage.

what did bother me is when michael was right on top of me on the old couch in the garage and suddenly gwen walks in and catches us! that did it! i was so ashamed!!! it was time to stop this wrong place to be! how dare i be with this married man right behind his wife's house!! no more!!!

i told michael i was leaving and grabbed my few things and told him i'm heading downtown to the union rescue mission for women.

i did ask an old friend and famous lawyer abe somers to please loan me $1,500. 00 so i could get an apartment and get a job and get things back on track. abe actually turned me down. that hurt. that's pocket change to him. oh well, i'll never ask anyone again for money again.

michael insisted that he go along with me to make sure i'm safe in getting set up at this shelter downtown l.a..

much to my surprise michael checked into the men's shelter right next to me! how sweet of him.

i decided to observe all the different characters that i would be sharing a bunk with etc. clint eastwood told me he always watched people. he said i should too especially since i'm an actress. character study is important. the mission would be a goldmine for this.

everyone takes a shower before dinner. you must stand in a long line for this. a lot of these women were drug addicts, mentally disturbed, hookers, and battered housewives and anything else, homeless like me. i need a stiff upper lip for this.

there was then a church service you have to sit through no matter how tired you are. i didn't mind i needed this too!

at 8:30pm we are told to line up to go to the second floor dorm and be assigned a bunk. when i saw all these double bunks lined up it blew me away. must have been 150 of them!

i was assigned to a top bunk. there was a white young woman across from me. this comforted me since all the rest were black and prejudiced! i'm not. but just for being white i'm a target!

i needed to use the restroom and was pointed the way. there were six toilets lined up without partitions! i was appalled. you have no other choice but to pull your panties down right next to complete strangers that were strange. i was next to a hispanic woman who talked to herself and on the other side was a huge obese black woman! i had to bite the bullet and grin and bear it! this was a living nightmare to me! you do your duty as quickly as possible and get to bed!

the night guards were real uptight and we were cattle. lights out at 10:00pm. there was a woman talking to the windows real loud and she was told to shut up and get to your bunk!

finally it quiets down. let the snoring begin! this was a sea of snoring women that sounded like men and sea lions combined. good lord, let's not ignore all the farting that coincided with the snoring too! it's a good thing i have a sense of humor! i laughed so hard i had to put my hand over my mouth! i took notes, this was unreal!! i was so tired i managed to fall asleep regardless of all the chaos!

205. union rescue mission cont. volunteers of america

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it's not much fun waking up on a top bunk in the women's dorm at the union rescue mission. its bright lights turned on at 6:00 o'clock in the morning! it's still dark out! it's cold and loud with 100 women all talking at once! these hens aren't happy! i'm a tomboy at heart being raised with two brothers. i don't even like women drivers!

you must make your bed quickly and get the hell out! this is fine with me, i'm more concerned about michael being next door! surely enough there he is right out front smoking a cigarette and real proud of me with a smile.

we went down the street to the volunteers of america/voa for free coffee. this place is a real outside zoo since all strays are welcome. 1,000 people a day are taken in. they sleep on a very large contented courtyard in sleeping bags or whatever else no tents or boxes. you can sign up for a day bed you can have for 8 hours. the inside showers and resting beds are safely enclosed. i sided up and so did michael to get more rest from all the turmoil at the union rescue mission. you have to wait a couple of hours to take your daily nap.

i had food stamps and my welfare money s200.00. michael got by, he knows too many people and he's always connected to the la times since he's a stringer for them.

this went off and on for three weeks. we'd have our beer and or a little vodka and talk to everyone. i loved watching michael work the crowd as usual. he wants to know want makes everyone tick and so did i. i was being reporter like just being around him.

we would migrate back to the valley so michael could check on joanna. we still hopped over the wall to the garage when necessary.

it was thanksgiving and his wonderful wife and i did speak to each other. heck, she even gave me a plate of turkey dinner! she's also a deacon for the catholic church up the street. my hats off to her.

michael and i would at times stay at the mikado hotel on riverside. it's $100.00 a night. then we would stay at the rosslyn hotel downtown l.a. the union rescue mission was wearing thin, it was too hectic of a habitat, nevertheless what would us women do without this great organization, bottom line?

i was trying to keep low key about my existence since i did not want anyone to know, especially the influential ones what i was doing. hiding and growing as a person is fascinating and yet nobody's business. yes! i dropped out and disappeared.

it was mentioned to me that i could work selling the dailey news paper and get extra money. i went for it. i got up at 4:00 am and met with ron who ran the stand next to the persing square red line.

he has a diamond in his front tooth, he's light skinned black and handsome. we'd meet on maple street. a white van picked all of us strays up and dropped us at certain corners. i was 1st and hill by the court house. i wore a blue cap and apron. i was given four stacks of papers, the dailey news and the new yorker. this was extra pin money. tips weren't bad coming from the well to do lawyers going to court. it was colder than a witches tit with a metal bra. i kid you not. i did it for the money honey.

206. the amazing woman selling the daily newspaper cont.

michael always told me that i was an amazing woman! i loved the ring of that. michael's not far behind me as i'm working alone out there. he appears and grabs me by the shoulders and says "listen to me, i just told the l.a. times you're a movie star selling newspapers and that you've been in skid row living in the shelters and god knows what else? boxes?

yes i had an encounter with a box when michael was in the valley and it was raining and the beds were full and there was a woman in a box and an empty one next to her and i crawled right in since i didn't have an umbrella and was too tired to care. this was a real experience! nothing like getting more experiences under my belt. since i'm planning on going back to acting. last time i was on camera was 1978. when i do go back i'll be over rotten with expression and will upchuck my soul to you.

then michael says "one of the journalists is on her way over to meet you and then wants to interview you over at the l.a. times building, so get ready". jesus, i didn't want anyone to know about me! i'm going to be embarrassed.

an asian woman shows up and says "are you june fairchild?" she started in with the questions "how long have you been out here selling the paper?" etc. etc. then she asked me if i'd mind being interviewed for a possible article in the l.a. times i agreed.

michael and i walk to 1st and spring one hour later. she told us to meet her at the cafeteria of the la times building. i was hungry.

noaki, the journalist, said we can have whatever we want to eat, it's on her. my tray was loaded up like a box car, just like a man would. i ate like a truck driver right in front of her as she spoke to michael. when michael gives them a story they jump. i then told her my story and then noaki looks at michael and says "she's tough as nails!"

then she asked me "how did it make you feel being in a skid row shelter and all?" i said "i felt like an angel in the middle of a snake pit!" she lit up and recorded that too.

then she said "if this is okayed, there will be an article in the la times are you okay with that?" i said yes. that was that.

"a fallen star" february 21, 2001 noaki schwartz, times staff writer. http://articles.latimes.com/2001/feb/21/local/me-28123

207. jail: twin towers

three days later after the interview with the la times, they needed up to date pictures of me.

michael said that wally skalij that photographer for the lakers games. he also captured 911 disasters in new york. you name it wally is there hard working top photographer.

he picked us up and we headed to wherever i wanted to go. i figured he might as well meet my cat pooper in the parking lot at 7th and beacon st. close to macarthur park and alvarado.

wally was in his early 30's. he was handsome, looked a little like ben affleck.

we picked up a couple of beers, wally didn't care.

wally then told me please ignore me completely. i'm not here. just do what you are doing. there's no posing here.

pooper came out from under a parked car and i cried since we haven't lived together since 1995, it's 2002 now.

he took tons of pictures! he kept saying "don't look at me". then i began to completely relax and we got some very poignant shots.

then we drove back downtown to king eddy's bar on 5th and los angeles st. he took a couple of more shots and that was about all for now. he got what he needed.

wally said "your article will be coming out in a couple of weeks. it will be a full page in the calendar section" i was so excited, i couldn't wait!

two weeks later back at the garage. it was early in the morning, michael wasn't here. then he sneaks in the garage door and he has in hand a stack of newspapers. he hands me my full page spread photos and all in the la times calendar section!

it's hit the street. hot off the press! there i was in all my glory. what a shot in the arm!

it said the angel in the middle of a snake pit, actress june fairchild living in skid row. alcoholism has brought her down! i have never felt that i ever threw in any towel and didn't care about myself! just the opposite!

oh well bad news is good news to i guess. i'm really happy, even the president reads about me having his coffee! not bad. michael told me that no one gets a full page like you got, not even the president.

it was time to head back downtown and feed pooper as usual. i then noticed i was wearing the same clothes i had on in paper, they have been washed of course. i'm always clean as a whistle.

on the bus people said "hey, you are the woman in the paper today aren't ya?" "yes i am" everybody was staring at me!

after feeding pooper we bought a 24 oz. budweiser to nurse our hangovers. i've always known for a few months that i do have a bench warrant for my arrest since i didn't show up at court for drunk driving in 1994. i was always careful to be discreet.

a police car comes out of nowhere and pulls over lickity-split. they saw the article and i'm in the same clothes. i'm not very discreet right now. i tried to hide my open can of beer. it was too late, they were right on top of me!

they said "aren't you june fairchild the actress in the paper today?" i agreed. they said "well now ain't that something, give me that can of beer mam and step right over here.

they put handcuffs on me and sat me in the back seat of the police car. michael couldn't do anything except be silent and observe. then they ran a make on me and also saw that i do have a bench warrant for my arrest. they told me we have to take you in and book you. i was relieved, no more street life.

208. twin towers where the birds dont fly

as i was in the back seat in the police car these policemen were very nice to me. i explained to them how my dui happened in 1994. tom johnson's boss od'd on taking 50 valiums! he was addicted to them for years, he built up a tolerance. but this time he overdid it and was found sitting up on his couch dead! i went by there not knowing this, i was looking for tom. the elderly woman in her 70's stopped me from knocking on bills' door and said "please stop, bill died yesterday" i couldn't believe it we were all jamming and singing last week. this lady was like a mother to bill. he did everything for her. she invited me into her adjoining duplex. she was crying nonstop. she offered me some wine. we got drunk together, when i got in my car i knew i had to be real careful driving and get straight home, i was driving too slow. the police pulled me over and cited me with a dui. in two more weeks my oldest dui 7 years ago would have been erased but it wasn't so i was cited with a second offense. i paid it off.

these policemen knew i was a good person and as they told me they loved me in "up in smoke" snorting the ajax! they said "we'll have to get your autograph at the station, everybody loved your part".

i thought to myself that now i can clean my slate and stop hopping over walls and doing shelters and motels etc. i'm tired of it.

i knew i was going to serve the time and pay the $1,500.00 that way. i was now going to be in jail for 44 days. great! i've never been in jail before i can use the experience.

bending over naked for rough looking female cops with flashlights ain't too much fun. then you take a cold shower lined up lots of other newly booked wild eyed women! then they put you in navy blue scrubs and lined us up to go to our pods.

sure enough my article was on all the tables and the women said "aren't you that movie star in the paper today?" jesus this is out of a movie. the sheriffs said that if it gets to rough on you let us know and we'll move you to solitaire. most of the girls just wanted an autograph but some did not like me at all. they made me wait to use the ladie's room real long and just threw me snide remarks right and left, that's it! i told the sheriffs this and indeed i was put in solitaire for three days until the article cools down etc.. it was great being alone and served food to my cell. after three days i was moved back to ‘f' pod. i was told by a white inmate to stay away from the bulls. she pointed at a group of obese black and white women. they did look scary and looked at me real hard. i minded my own business.

i asked this comforting help mate what she was in here for. she said she was a pick pocket. she would go to high class bars and talk to the men wearing gold rolex watches and chains. she would then drink with them until they got good and drunk and then she would take the rolex off as they are talking and lift their gold chains right off their necks and they didn't even feel it or know it! wow, this girl was pretty slick!

she got away with it for about a year. then she was caught and they put her here in twin towers. i asked her "what was the most money you got from a man's wallet?" she said "$1,600.00". damn, that's a lot. she takes breaks and then starts up again. i was fascinated like a reporter would be. lots of women were in for buying one small rock of cocaine. no wonder these jails are crowded!

richard perry's (pointer sister's producer) maid was in there for fraud and drugs. she was cute and very sweet. she gave me his current phone #.

209. twin towers cont;

wally skalij was given permission to come inside twin towers and photograph me in my new blue outfit. this was a big deal when he showed up. i was so glad to see him! he's so sweet and caring. we took a lot of shots of me in one room as the sheriffs looked on.

practically the next day there i am again in a small article picture and all saying that i was just freshly arrested for an open container. i'm the latest hot off the press celebrity these days!

i was allowed to make outside phone calls, i called michael. he kept me posted on the outside etc. he told me that a lot of people have been calling into the la times to offer you help. i was given a list. here's some of these people;

1. my high school friends, sam barr and gail griebenow and others. 2. lou adler the producer of the mamas and papas and the director of cheech and chong's "up in smoke" 3. state senator richard polanco! what? he said he would like my input and assistance in regards to the homeless skid row problem.

lesley ann warren, the actresses agency said that ms. warren is interested in doing my life story. 6. greg gorman: the famous black and white picture photographer.

an acting teacher offering me 6 monthe free classes. inmates from other prisons wrote me and were fans of "the ajax lady" how sweet!

i had a lawyer visit me out of the blue. his name was michael ross. he said he felt that i was done wrong and would like to represent me at another helf trial.

i got on the black jail bus and was driven to court with all these wild horny acting men! iit was a real riot getting to court.

i made it but michael ross didn't win. how sweet of him trying.

then another real surprise visitor drops by. it's danny hutton's best friend! leon blinka actually offered me to live with him if i don't have a place to go when i get out! he said he even asked danny's permission! danny said "that's fine with him" do you believe this? i said "yes" now i'm going to live with leon blinka in silverlake. danny's best friend!!!!!!!!!!

210. cinderella? live just like a princess!!

my 44 days were up. i paid my price. proud of it too. when i was released, i walked outside there was wally and leon blinka standing together to pick me up.

wally is going to follow me up to leon's to take more pictures. leon opens the car door for me. i sat down and his car was loaded with long dog hairs, who cares, i was so happy and appreciative!

i have always loved leon since i met him when danny and i were brand new and deeply in love. leon's girlfriend sherry became my new best friend back then, now i'm going to live with leon all these years later?

leon resembles wc fields and mr. magoo. he's tall and thinner, blonde hair and long feet kind of like a huge rabbit's. he's lithuanian. piercing blue eyes all lithuanian do especially the gorgeous blonde women. leon is also classy. he is also one of the funniest men i have ever met. he's the life of any party and the one who would be wearing the lamp shade at the end!

as we're driving up a long silver lake hill to his house, wally is right behind us. we are laughing and listening to great music. then leon says to me "junie, you are going to live just like cinderella. you will love my beautiful three leveled log cabin house. i own two of the other ones next to me" wow! i'm on pins and needles! leon owns his own cleaning company, "blinka blinka cleaning co." his father is very well to do also.

we are now in front of this huge gorgeous log cabin, my mouth was wide open. this was like a house from disneyland, right out of a fairy tale and i was going to be the princess/friend/roommate.

leon opens the door and there was a loving overly excited sheppard dog happy to see leon. he was smiling from ear to ear. his name was wolfgang. i called him wolfie for short. we were instant buddies.

there was a very high ceiling in the living room and a fireplace just as high too. it had a santa fe new mexico feel about it.

up the stairs was a long wooden table with fine china with beveled glass in front of it. the kitchen is full of everything one needs to be wolfgang puck yourself.

then in back of kitchen was leon's office. his computer and a twin bed with an indian blanket on it. the bathroom was right there also and a washer and dryer area. this was going to be my room. there was fifty baseball caps and golf hats all over the walls. lots of plaques and pictures etc. leon is a man's man.

wally was right behind us taking pictures of me observing my new home.

211. in bed with leon

what a day this has been getting out of jail. pictures had been taken by the l.a. times. i'm exhausted! leon couldn't have been sweeter. now i'm alone in my new private room in a beautiful home. i couldn't be more appreciative and humble.

leon gave me a big t shirt to sleep in. indeed i did feel a little like cinderella.

i was still excited and passed out and went into a deep sleep. i then woke up to go to the restroom a couple of hours later. when i washed my hands i looked up and saw a huge black widow spider staring at me on the wall eye level!! i screamed and ran down the stairs to leon's bedroom and woke leon up to tell him. he sat up and said "what? there's no spider in your bathroom. it's a fake rubber one for halloween silly!" oh god now i'm embarrassed and feeling real stupid! i'm just too on edge i guess.

leon said "junie, just come over here and lay down beside me and relax" i wasn't expecting this. but i did lay down and he said "here turn over on your side i'll make you feel better". i did.

leon then put his hand on my tummy and rubbed it in circles and he was shaking at the same time. he said "now that you're here you don't have to worry anymore etc. " i didn't feel comfortable with him continually rubbing me, i was afraid he would try to move his hand a little lower so now i had to pretend i was relaxed. then i just started crying profusely!

this was all the pent up stuff that i was holding in acting so strong through jail and all. leon was worried for me and really talked to me quickly to calm me down. he said "junie you must promise me something. you come to me anytime you are scared and lonely etc. i'm here for you, promise me" i did. i was glad to get back to my bed.

i knew i would never go back down to leon's room at night again. he was too close for comfort. it's my insecurity i know but i will not ever get involved with leon romantically, plus the fact he's danny's best friend it just wouldn't be right anyway.

that was that. after all i do have my soldier in my corner michael casey. i'm missing him, haven't seen him since i was arrested.

early the next morning leon and i had to go and hook me up to an ankle bracelet monitor. i was released two weeks early and leon promised them he would pay for the $320. 00 fee and would not let me out of his sight.

i was also given a home breathalyzer to prove i'm not drinking any alcohol. i had to do this once a day for two weeks. i woke up to it every morning since it was right in front of leon's computer. since i'm staying in leon's office there was his business calls and computer.

i was ordered to enroll in "right on program" for classes on alcoholism. this is for 18 months.

i also had to attend 100 aa meetings and get my card signed each time.

leon bought me a monthly bus pass to get around after removal of my ankle bracelet. leon was a godsend a real comedian he made me laugh a lot. i was his audience full time!

212. cinderella in reverse!!!!

leon had dinner parties all the time. once a week if not two. he would wear a chef's hat and always had a towel over one shoulder. he's a gourmet chef. trader joe's is his market! ribs, turkey's, ham's, brisket of beef, steaks, you name it, he'd cook it.

i cleaned up always. eight neighbors or so would be his regular's. there was cat, a feisty female lanky blonde whom had to have things done just so, she was a political activist. her roommate was a nicely buxom heavy set woman, a smart as a tack lawyer. next door to them was ralph white, the famous under water cinema photographer for the film "titanic".

he looks like a crispy handsome frogman, guess that's from being in the water so much filming. he likes his red wine. he's the first one to ask me all kinds of questions like "how long have you and leon' been together?" i didn't quite get that so i sloughed it off. then there's the stunt man across the street with his beautiful wife and son.

what it boils down to, the neighbors wanted to lookyloo me. they were very nosey and skeptical about me. they were all very well to do neighbors living in leon's two other log cabin homes. they paid leon the rent.

leon taught me how to grind his fresh coffee beans every morning.

i watered his tons of outside potted plants. i constantly swept up tons of wolfie's long dog hairs. i certainly enjoyed leon's great sound system and danced naked alone when ever i got the chance alone.

leon taught me how to use his computer so i could start typing my life story. i did this a little each day. after my ankle bracelet was removed i figured i could have a glass of wine at our dinner parties to celebrate. leon said "no! i don't think so! as long as you live here with me there will be no wine drinking for you! " he really cracked the whip!

i was beginning to feel like leon's house maid.

i only went to leon's bedroom to clean it when he was gone. i could feel he wouldn't have minded if i would come down at night to talk with him at least. but i didn't. he did mention this a few times "remember, come down when you feel like it". i cleaned his valentino still harem bedroom every day. there were lots of indian pillows on his huge four poster bed. there were mirrors in front of his sliding closet doors facing his bed. he had chiffon gauzy material over them to make it more exotic etc. after all leon's a very much available bachelor. i could feel leon was aching for a woman or at least needs serving, what's wrong with that? but i knew it wouldn't be by me. he never said anything to me in regards to this but, i could feel it. i do believe he was getting more and more disappointed with me always being so hard working and efficient around the house. i needed to earn my keep. so i followed the rules to the letter. i was a cleaning robot. i also did leon's laundry.

at every dinner party no one talked to me hardly. i wasn't allowed a glass of wine. i would sneak in my room behind the dining room all the time throughout these dinners to take a break. i was feeling completely left out. it made me more and more upset. i would cry behind the closed door, regroup and then go back out and sit down and take more of this agonizing situation. i would then clean up this huge mess of wine glasses and empty bottles of wine. how about the roasting pan and all the dirty plates? i'd work up a sweat doing this and then go to my room and wonder, how long will this go on? can i handle it?

213. cinderrella in reverse cont;

leon had an old flame of his come to visit from out of town. he needed some affection. no names mentioned, she was a very stacked beautiful blonde. she showed me her breasts at the dinner table one morning.

she said "what do you think, aren't they beautiful? i work for a fantastic plastic surgeon" they really were and they did not look fake. god to think i could have big ones too! no thanks. it's just not right or safe. i like my pretty small ones. they work real good too. i wouldn't want to lose my sensitivity in my nipples either.

i went out with leon and his sweet classy lady friend and i couldn't believe leon asked me if i'd like a glass of wine. i was in shock! i had to think before i sounded too desperate in front of let's call her sissy. i suppose leon couldn't deny me wine in front of her. i got buzzed big time since i hadn't drank in two and a half months.

at the dinner parties since sissy was there i was finally allowed to have a couple of glasses of wine. i started to become more animated as i really am and would wedge into their political conversations just to change it. so i spoke of my achievements to prove that they don't know what they are dealing with. i told them the prom queen stuff, the meaning of three dog night, the dancing on tv for two years and the acting for ten years in hollywood, i told them i'm "the ajax lady" in cheech and chong's "up in smoke". that certainly perked up their ears! they were now paying more attention to me. now i guess i'm worth listening to.

sissy left after four days. she told me i'm not sexually attracted to leon anymore, but since he does give me money if i'm in a pinch, i'll come over to play with him once in a blue moon. back to boot camp. i figured the wine would be cut off again, not so, since i have more clout with the neighbors, but i must admit leon is protecting me as a friend since i was arrested for the open container business.

he figured i really had a drinking problem. not so, i am strickly a social drinker, i never drink alone removed from people. i'm like my mom was. classy and do as i well please.

214. cinderella in reverse cont;

what to sell on ebay to make money

i started looking for a job to get out of here and get my own place again! this constant cleaning was taking a toll, indeed i was cinderella whom never gets out from behind the mop!

to my surprise leon knocks on my door and says what about being an 800# girl? here's the ad, you'll get $13.00 an hour? isn't that a real cheap thing to do? he said "not really. you're acting on the phone, they can't touch you"

i actually figured, okay, why not! anything to get my own money! good, i'll get paid for acting again, only this time it's on the phone. i'm sooo old fashion, this might help me to be more sexual with men and then i'll apply it to acting on film. just more experience to put under my belt!

i was hired on the spot, i told them i was an actress and taxi hostess dancer. i can do just fine.

as i listened in the girls were real slutty and cussed and were giving the men blow jobs as they sucked their thumbs, they would kiss the phone and make spitty wet sounds as if they are playing with themselves, i was disgusted! i knew i would try and go about it in a cleaner way if humanly possible, you must do whatever it takes to keep them on the phone. these men and women that called in paid beaucoup bucks for us to turn them on. i think $5 bucks a minute, i got $500.00 a week pay.

i loved it when i got to pretend i was a transvestite and used my low voice and would say "i've got an 8 inch cock, it's three inch's around and i'm stroking it now talking to you honey". they believed me! this was a riot!

i became one of the top girls no problem. i had men talk for an hour to me and then call me right back! that's a lot of money! i was a lesbian too. never in real life, no way! not my cup of tea.

i worked 40 hours a week. to get down the hill you can take the 120 stairs down to the bus stop! then you can also walk back up the 120 stairs after 8 hrs as a 800# girl. i'm in my 50's, i have arthritis and high blood pressure. after i reached the top of the stairs, there is leon asking how the day went as he's reading and watching a movie.

i was behind the bleeding plow! regardless of working full time, i was still cleaning and doing the dinner parties!

the neighbors were now calling me by the name "the corrilites call girl!" that's the street name we live on. i laughed it off but then they said it every time they saw me and it was starting to wear thin!

i was saving every penny!

i kept in touch with michael casey. he even came up to visit me at leon's, he kept an eye from a distance as well, we were always on the phone.

i would sneak a beer here and there. leon gave me looks if i had more than two glasses of wine. i snuck beers into my room, who wouldn't. i still wasn't as good as they, but they were still putting up with me, let's put it that way.

six months has gone by with this existence! cinderella huh? i don't think so.

215. meetino with state senator richard polanco!!!

it's a good thing i love myself. it's a good that i feed my cat every other day in the parking lot downtown. we do keep each other going. this ritual has been going on for nine years. i can't bring pooper to leon's.

everyday i tell myself "something good is going to happen to me today" it works!

i decided to call all the people that called me when i was in jail.

i called state senator richard polanco. his secretary set an appointment for me to meet with him at 1:00 o'clock tomorrow afternoon.

as i was on the bus downtown to polanco's office i thought to myself "don't let all my disappointments that have happened to me steal the dreams in my heart!!

i wore my beautiful outfit my high school friends had bought me. i could have lunch at the white house in this outfit. i had on a below the knee small black and white checked tight skirt. i wore a crisp ironed white blouse. over that was my perfectly fitting black sport coat, very classy.

i was right on time. i sat in the waiting area. i had my notes with me. i was on pins and needles.

the door to his office opens and there he was shaking hands with whom he was having a meeting with. he was smiling and then he looked over at me and got even a bigger smile. then he said "please come in" and shook my hand with a very firm grasp just as i always do.

he got right down to business. he only has so many minutes for each person. he said "it's a pleasure to meet you, i need help".

he then asked me "who have i associated with that helps work with the homeless?" i said the union rescue mission and the volunteers of america, rehabs and many aa people that run the meetings. he really looked deep into my eyes and observed with concern. was i together both physically and spiritually etc.

then he asked "how strong are you?" i said "are you kidding me. after surviving three dog, night, alcoholism and drugs and a broken heart. two marriages with disappointing endings except my daughter megan of course, i'm very strong! " i told him i was a taxi dancer/hostess dancer. mr. polanco made a bad face. he didn't want to hear that.

then mr. polanco asked me "are there any talented homeless people?" i said "oh yes! in fact i think we should have creative centers that have sound proof rehearsal rooms so these gifted ones can hone their unique lyrics and melodies.

he asked me "what would you do to make this a better existence in skid row?" i answered, "first of all i see skid row as a bad accident that happened a long time ago that has never been cleaned up!". and isn't it ironic how the homeless domes are right next to the staples center. it's so imbalanced! aren't peoples condition more important than a basketball game? we need to get rid of the boxes and tents. in japan they have buildings with only cubicles lined up for people to sleep! can't we build some of those at least?

the homeless ones that refuse shelters and their rules won't budge from the street's. they should have moving showers on trucks and porta potties and water at least.

polanco said "some people don't want to be in cubicles either".

i told him of the six toilet's lined up without partitions at the union rescue mission. he grimaced.

216. state senator richard polanco cont; i was raped!!

mr. polanco and i are drinking water as we continue our meeting on the homeless. i mentioned that i was glad that they have "schools on wheels for the homeless children" personally i think it would be best to not even let children enter skid row let alone live there, it's too dangerous!

it's loaded with drug addicts and hookers, you name it. they can't help it! or they don't want to. we can't wear blinders anymore to all of this. the rats are as big as cats! human feces on the sidewalks, the stench of urine is everywhere. urine l.a. that's what i call it. trickling down the alleyways that you have to step over.

the portable toilets are so filthy. i was reduced to squatting behind a building to maintain my bodily functions! mr. polanco was frozen faced.

then i had to lower the boom! even i was raped!! yes, it happened one night after going to the flower mart. it was after 10:00 pm. i was walking quickly to get back home and a car pulled up and a black man jumped out and grabbed me and threw me in the back seat. the driver and his friend took me to the closest hotel. they lived there. then the driver went to his room and left me with this stranger. i actually put on a front and said "oh cool, let's party" we got inside and he made me a drink. he actually was pretty good looking. i was shaking in my boots!

he then just threw me on his bed and tore off my pants and batter rammed me! it really hurt! i was burning inside! i had to take it! i kept a smile on my face like i was enjoying this! after he got to climax and pulled out, he simply went to sleep, he didn't worry about me. he figured i was cheap with no integrity i guess. thank god. so i stole his expensive baggy pants and jewelry. i hopped on a bus without money and they let me ride free since i was so distraught. i filed a police report!

richard polanco had heard enough!

polanco said "i would like for you to be my eyes and ears for skid row, keep me updated on anything that's going on from here on out". i agreed. this made me very happy.

i mentioned that the 2nd floor women's dorm was just shut down and there is now over 60 women on the streets again. they are short of funds. they need $110,000 dollars to reopen. he jumped up and called for his head assistant. immediately he was right there to take mr. polanco's orders. "take a memo, we have an emergency situation, i want you to get right on it" polanco wrote it down and handed it to him.

this meeting was adjourned. since mr. polanco was leaving also he offered to walk me to the elevator. he said "miss fairchild, ladies first" and got in with me. he said, "going down?" yes! i told him i was on my way to feed my homeless cat in the parking lot near alvarado. she's the mascot for the homeless kitties". then he told me of his animals. then the door opened and he said "my secretary will be in touch with you, take it easy" through my time with mr. polanco he shook my hand four times. he's a good man.

i went to the closest coffee shop and took notes of our meeting. i'm glad i didn't tell him i was currently an 800# girl. it would be too embarrassing and not a good idea.

217. saving the union rescue mission for a minute or two

after telling state senator richard polanco the emergency situation about the 2nd floor women's dorm being shut down due to lack of funds, i received a phone call from mr. polanco's secretary saying "mr. polanco would like for you to meet him at the rescue mission at 1:00 o'clock tomorrow" i was so excited since it has been one and a half months since i told him of this.

i was there right on time. i wore a simple gold blouse and black pants. i was given many handshakes from the big shots who ran the mission. they had big smiles and almost bowing down to me with much appreciation. they said "can you possibly do this again next year?" i couldn't believe they said that! i just said "i'll try". that threw me off guard.

i asked them where is mr. polanco? they said he will be here any minute! i thought we were meeting in an office. sure enough the elevator at the end of the hall opened and there he was with one woman and his right hand man and another one of his staff members.

he came straight to me and shook my hand! we walked over to these two big double doors, he told me how we were going to speak. he was going to speak first, then me second! (what? i thought) i said no problem, and then became very nervous. the doors opened up and the whole huge assembly room was jam packed with people! mr. polanco then said "walk right behind me as we walk down the middle aisle". everyone then applauds! i felt like a puppy following him. i'm sweating with excitement and the unknown.

we then sat down side by side in the front row. i had no idea this was going to be this big of a deal! mr. polanco was beaming, he was twice as happy!

since women weren't too happy with senator polanco in comparison to how he catered to men more in the work place. this event will help that problem too!

then the vice president (forgive me for not remembering his name) gets up on stage behind the podium and speaks of our gathering here today to hear mr. senator polanco and introduces him as he's invited to step behind the podium.

he speaks, "i'm here today to let you know i'm aware of this great organization! what they do to take care of all of you! it's a big undertaking! they really do care about you! then he said "i must say, if it wasn't for june fairchild letting me know of this emergency situation about the second floor dorm being closed down, i wouldn't be here now! june's a big advocate for this homeless shelter. she knows how hard this great place works to save others. then he went on for about me for about 10 minutes! it's not every day you have a state senator build you up in front of a lot of people! this made me cry!

then he says "i would like for you to meet her now" he then holds his hand out to me to come up! (i'm clearing the last tear) it's my turn behind the podium! "june fairchild!", will you please come up here?"

time for me to improvise with humor and appreciation. i said "if it weren't for this place, i'd be in deep doo-doo!" they all laughed. i said how this place saved me at my most vulnerable moment. i spoke of how it gave me the regimentation i needed after being cut from my husbands and drinking all the time.

i then said "you get everything you need right here! it's a huge home for troubled women on all levels! bottom line, you know you're safe with a roof and food and showers so one can regroup! then i said "the six toilet's lined up without partitions wasn't too much fun!" everyone roared on that line!

218. meeting in assembly room - union rescue mission

then i said "i couldn't be prouder to be part of this fantastic huge home". i was given a long applause! up comes mr. polanco to join me. then he said "i'm proud to present my donation. will you bring up the check please?" two men are carrying a huge check bigger then ed mcmann's, written out for $150,000 dollars! i only told him $110,000 is all they needed, thanks for the $40,000 extra! you would have to be me to know how i felt at this moment! this mission's publicity dept. took pictures of me standing next to mr. polanco and their vice president. i was proud. he made it so!

this meeting and celebration is over and a success. i walked out with polanco and his staff to the elevator, (i figured maybe i could get a lift home or something), or at least get a look at polanco's car just for kicks, (i am nosey at times)

i'm sure he thinks i have my own car, that's why i'm in the elevator right? mr. polanco and i are walking by the parked cars as his staff is walking behind us. i said "how great they got their money and then some. " polanco said "my pleasure" i thought to myself, what about me? i don't have a nickel. i took this opportunity to whisper in his ear and say "can you loan me $500.00 dollars, i don't have a nut!" he said "no! "

you will get a nut on your own" and that was it as we approached his brand spanking new jaguar, his staff jumps in and fill up all the available spaces. mr. polanco gets in the driver's seat. he didn't offer me a ride since i guess it's not fitting to cram in another person.

i thanked him for coming through for these women and speaking of me so gallantly" he said "your welcome, i'll keep in touch with you". i started walking very quickly to get up to the street from the underneath parking area. i made it before they made it to the ramp to go up. i left them in the dust to get away from all of this. i'm walking along all the lined up tents and garbage and the stench of body odors etc., not a nickel in my pocket.

then i keep looking for mr. polanco's car and sure enough he drives by, honks and waves at me, a real big smile!! i started crying tears of happiness and still a little sad with a feeling all alone and oh woe is me!

how could he not help me a little bit? then it just hit me, "you were just given the stamp of approval from the state senator of california richard polanco! what's wrong with that?! now i felt i had more clout and even more respect for myself. my integrity has always been high. this just polishes it a bit more. he was right. i'll get my own nut! i don't make enough to save. maybe my life story will help me. to live my life and get paid for it isn't a bad way to go! let's make a movie! who knows!

since my integrity could no longer be an 800# girl any longer (my mom would roll over in her grave) i asked mr. polanco to call the union rescue mission and get me a job there! he did. they gave me the graveyard shift from midnight to 8:00 o'clock in the morning. i would be the one the women could cry on my shoulder on the 2nd floor dorm. i loved the ring of this that's exactly what they are lacking. these night guards are a little scary themselves but i can deal with it. i think. then again since i take buses there's no way i can be dropped off in one piece downtown that late at night! i cannot take this job! it ain't worth my life!

219. senator richard polanco

june fairchild got senator richard polanco to give $110,000 needed to reopened 2nd floor door over 80 women were outside in the streets since they had to close due to lack of funds.

mr. polanco gave $150,000 instead. what a moment! he's standing next to me.

he said nice things about me to all the people in the assembly room. he made me proud and i was given his stamp of approval. these things don't happen every day.

220. cinderella goes to the premier and the ball!!!!!!

"you're so special junie, you are so special" this is always going through my head since my mother consistently all my life drummed this in my head, drunk or sober, she's always with me.

i called another name on the list of people who called into the l.a. times wanting to help me one way or another.

david ray? i called him. he was very laid back and yet seemed to perk up when he knew it was june fairchild calling. he said "i think it would be wonderful to bring you back by having you go to the "legally blond" premier, reese witherspoon's newest movie. i would like to pick you up in a limo. we will get you a dress from ba ba's on la cienega blvd.. these dresses are all custom made, mr. ray told me he has his own talk show on a cable channel and that it's going very well. he has producers behind him and they do believe in him.

mr. ray shows up at leon's door. he has come to personally drive me to find a gown. he was a very handsome black man with the most chiseled streamed lined that i've ever seen. very well mannered. a perfect gentlemen. the gracious genius that made all these dresses and hats. name escapes me (to be inserted..)

she resembled an older shelly winters. i finally found a red and black $850.00 dress that would be just fine. i was also given a $135.00 choker and a $135.00 little black clutch purse. i just recently purchased some 4 inch high stiletto silver heals at a pick and save shoe store just for kicks. i figured one day these might come in handy, i kid you not!

at the night of the premier david ray sent over a professional makeup artist whom he paid for out of his pocket. i had her put an almost kabuki type mask make up extenuating my eyes.

i called wally to inform him of this occasion since he told me to always let him know when something important pops up.

wally is photographing me having my makeup applied, he's going with me. nothing better than taking an la times photographer with you to a premiere. wally photographed me in the limo as the neighbors watched.

wally and i are on our way to pick up david ray. there was a full bar and champagne. i didn't drink. neither did wally. we waited at least 15 minutes for mr. ray to appear, he then exposes himself in a tuxedo and pink shirt with ruffles! and black bow tie. he and his perfect thin lined work of art goatee resembled a very high class pimp! sorry, but i always see things in a funny amusing way to make myself laugh! there was something rinky dinky about this whole thing but i couldn't put my finger on it yet.

then we pick up the two producers that back him. they were young white new yorker types in blue suits. they seemed greasy and spoiled rotten.

mr. ray loves to boast about himself to them and also built me up as he spoke as we're all driving to westwood.

we were late. we stopped in front of the red carpet, in this case it was pink for miss witherspoon's character. the paparazzi were in a frenzy, we all pile out! wally's objective is to get me waving to all the people behind the ropes. wally finds out that he wasn't cleared to walk the carpet and take photos! wally settled in just taking pictures of me waving at the fans for reese witherspoon as if they were waving at me. i had to believe this too so it would be a more exciting expression on my face! i was right behind reese witherspoon. her skin was like a candle. she was truly a living doll. i was the living ghost behind her.

221. cinderellas premier and ball

these people had no idea who i was or even noticed me. i was so alone i felt that this whole thing was horribly planned. what am i doing here? the hollywood confidential crew was there. they filmed a special on me downtown la. at least they could interview me on their camera! thank god i meant something to them! wally was ordered to leave right now! i didn't want him to. i felt safe with wally. wally reassured me he'll see me at the big party afterwards.

i had no idea who miss witherspoon was. she was an up and coming big star at this point, i stayed close to her. i said hello. she said hello back. she was very sweet and very professional. she had real breast too! how refreshing! she had a beautiful man with her, must have been her boyfriend/husband.

i realized this was back burner business for me since i'm sitting on it. mr. ray stuck next to me. he had been craning his neck to be in all photos. i don't blame him. he's trying to make it too. rachel welch was being interviewed close to the entrance of the theater. she was wearing a pant suit outfit. i wanted to see her in a sexy dress! oh well to each his own.

finally "david and i get inside. we are told that the only remaining seats are right up front! we sat too the far left side on the end up front, david get's right up and leaves to get popcorn and a coke. he asked me if i'd like something.

i settled for just a coke. so i sat there alone with all these screaming rowdy kids. i was fuming inside. i was mad. only to myself. i appreciate all this? 1 guess i do sure. i contained myself and decided to get into this new movie and see what miss witherspoon is all about.

mr ray is not back and the movie has begun. the whole room exploded when reese came on screen! they went nuts. i started to observe why. it didn't take me long to figure this out. reese was the cutest most vivacious young girl that we haven't had in many years! the way she talked was so damn cute! her puppy blue eyes were electric.

here i am in a borrowed dress at 55 years old thinking "if that were only me" i still have this dream within me, the unfinished woman that i am. my mother is with me tonight. i'm a brave crusader, i can take it. act again? will i? i have so much inside of me i had better or i could self destruct!

this movie was a complete success! the audience went berserk. i was glad to get out of there, my feet were killing me. let us get on with the party at the armand hammer building not far from the theater. wally said he would meet me over there. he did not get in the limo.

mr. ray and i get out and get to the man holding the guest list. we weren't on it. at least wally wasn't. i was told to wait in the limo as mr. ray checks things out inside. only his name was on the list. i waited 35 minutes. i'm getting restless. where is my wally, he's supposed to be here! i went to the man guarding the front door. i had to talk a blue steak just to get in. i felt like a party crasher. i told him i just need to find mr. ray and wally. he let me in. i was frantic to hurry and find wally at least! at the same time i knew we had gotten the shot wally needed for the times. that made me feel good. i guess wally went home since he got his photo. they simply wouldn't let him in.

the man outside with the list said to go ahead and enjoy the party anyway, how nice of him. where's david ray? i walked up so many levels of marble stairs, my one foot had an open blister already. there seemed to be a sea of plastic people everywhere. gay half naked men dancing on boxes! that's fine but not that classy.

222. legally blonde after party

young women in silver mini space suits were also taking turns dancing on these boxes. the music throughout this huge mausoleum marble building was alternative music, cold without any soul. let's put it this way, it wasn't the warmest atmosphere. i didn't recognize any faces. i felt like an older fish out of water.

i could not find mr. ray! this is what really bothered me. he just disappeared into the sea of people and i could feel that he made no effort to find me. i felt removed and lonely. usually, i'm the life of the party. not this time babe! i felt this was a waste of my time.

an hour had gone by at least. i've been on my feet the whole time in agony since the few seats sprinkled around were never vacated. i'm not having much fun here. i couldn't take it anymore and got in line for 15 minutes to get a drink. it was five bucks for a screw driver. good thing i had some cash on me. i told them to make it strong.

i walked up to complete strangers to chat and try to talk of the movie. they were short and aloof. poor, poor junie. it's just a tad depressing. i walked half way up the marble stairs and just sat down on the stairs and took my heels off! what a relief! my heels were bleeding underneath the band aids i put on since they were a bit tight to begin with. the four inches forced my toes into the ends so they were all going to a point! it felt great to bend them back!

i decided to get one more drink. i didn't even put the shoes back on, they were too swollen. thank god for the first drink, it was hitting me quickly since i haven't had hard liquor for some time. i downed the second one and got a fixed smile on my face. that's better than nothing.

i do believe another hour must have gone by observing this fiasco! i headed back downstairs and was ready to get the hell out of here! low and behold there's david ray! somehow i put my heels back on before he saw me. they were one size too small. i went right up to him and said "i'm ready to go". he said "just give me 30 more minutes". christ! he was networking himself to others about his talk show. another hour had passed seemingly and i was in tears! i was a walking zombie amongst the crowd. i found a vacant chair and took the heels off again! i spotted mr. ray and ran to him and said "i've got to go now! " he said "okay, let's hit it" then he said "listen, i had to let the limo go since i only paid for half the night, my car is parked in the underground parking here, the elevator is over there". i was so disappointed and tired i didn't give a rat's ass!

we got into his old small bmw. as we're driving back he says "make sure wally picks a picture with me in it next to you". i reassured him since he was right behind me, he will be. he said that he also wanted to interview me on his cable talk show. that's nice of him. i was just glad to see leon's dungeon cabin, my castle.

as we pull in front, mr. ray said "oh i forgot to tell you, you're going to have to give back your dress, i promised them". i said, "really, i thought i would get to keep it maybe" he said "no, it's only been rented, so if you don't mind, go in and take it off and bring it out to me"

"oh by the way, you can keep the choker and purse." i was glad to thank him and say goodnight. the house was dark, i changed and gave back the dress, leon comes home and i told him i had a wonderful time!

my husband mr. utley taught me "doing well is the best revenge" i'm always on guard and appreciative at the same time. no prince looked for me anytime soon after that night.

223. cinderella is out on her ear

leon asked me to go to the lithuanian festival in silver lake. they have it every year. these are all his people. the women have piercing turquoise eyes. now i can understand leon's roots.

eating the food and listening to live music, leon was talking to a raving beauty of a woman. he was focusing on only her. as i was scanning everyone i noticed two women enjoying the music, drinking their beer.

one was blonde and the other had short brown hair and really smiling and laughing. she was a classy plain woman. stocky figured jeans and sweatshirt. drinking her beer quickly. it dawned on me. that's the woman leon should be hitting on. the young model type won't go for him.

i whispered to leon "the woman you need to be with is that one over there, look how she doesn't hold back and just has fun" leon says, "yes i see her, okay june" then he went on charming the model. i had enough of this fair. i saw the girl who rents the underbelly of leon's house. i asked her if she'd take me home. i had only one beer, i was given permission, i had enough.

after getting back at the cabin around 6 o'clock, i watched tv and fell asleep in my cubby hole. i was woken up with loud laughter, lots of it!

i heard two women and good old mr. leon turning up the music and bottles clanging. i look at the clock, it was 9pm. i had to check this out.

i peeked through the crack of my door. leon was making out with a woman, his back was covering her up. they were drunk as skunks! good for them. then leon moves to get another beer. it was the woman i told him to talk to! right on! she was a large chested woman too! leon loves that! i've never seen leon so happy.

in a matter of always seeing each other and both speaking in lithuanian tongue, leon was head over heels for this one. her name, neoli. her visiting pass time was up. she told leon the only way she can stay in the u.s. is to get married. leon did not want to lose her so he volunteered to marry her. no deportation for this one.

he bought her a beautiful diamond ring and that was a done deal.

neoli thanked me for having leon meet her and was very sweet to me. she changed quickly after the marriage and did not want me in the house anymore. i don't blame her.

so now i'm out on my ear and neoli was cinderella #2! indeed, i glad for leon and very appreciative for his roof to regroup.

so i ejected myself right out of there didn't i? what a relief as well. where do i go now?

one thing i know, i'm very good at match making. i did the same for two sweet people in high school. they are married to this day. they always thank me at our yearly high school reunions.

224. unsettled settler

leon gave me two weeks to find a new place to live. i had some money saved doing the disgusting phone operator business.

i ran into chris! he was always at the studio suite bar. he had blonde hair, straight short haircut to where his wave on top would always fall down over his cute round face. he resembled rip torn the comedian with the mustache throwing the confetti all the time. chris was always making me laugh all the time performing. he was fast talking as if he were on speed or something.

i caught him up on what's been happening to me. he knew my husband bill etc. chris told me to feel free and stay at his apartment for as long as i needed. i accepted. we had a couple of beers. chris helped me get my stuff from leon's.

chris had a one bedroom apartment a few blocks from michael's garage. that's convenient too. "my soldier in my corner is right around the corner!".

as i first entered his living room i couldn't help but notice a picture in a beautiful frame of a very handsome woman staring over his couch. i ask chris who's that? he said "that's my dear mother". oh how nice and very beautiful she looks. he liked that.

then he showed me the very meticulous kitchen. cute dining table with a white table cloth. very pleasant dark atmosphere. knick knacks by the hundreds on shelves in the living room.

then he showed me the bathroom. green frilly shower curtain with a matching rug on the toilet seat.

then he shows me his bedroom. over the queen sized bed that had a leopard print bedspread on it, was an old fashioned fan out of casa blanca going. i remarked how great and classy this was. then i had to interject "i'll take the couch". he said "oh no, you sleep with me, i won't ever touch you, i'm a perfect gentlemen" i just let that slide for now.

we sat down on the couch. chris offered me a drink. i said budweiser for me, as usual. he came back with his jack danials on ice.

chris has rules. here they are: 1. since the land lady doesn't know you are staying here, never open the door or look through the peep hole when i'm gone. 2. never have a close friend or anyone else in this apartment 3. never answer the phone 4. he took me in the kitchen, told me how to always keep the faucet knobs tight so they do not drip. 5. he opened the refrigerator door and taught me to always shake the liter of root beer three hard shakes, this keeps it carbonated longer. 6. always untangle the vertical blinds to keep them straight (they're always closed to block out the cars since he is right on the street.) 7. no egg shells in the garbage disposal. use lemon to freshen it up. 8. always clean up after yourself. 9. he took me to the bathroom. always keep the toilet seat down to show the rug on the lid. i noticed chris always sat down to urinate. his mother taught him that. then the lid is back down. 10. never leave your plastic cover to your razor blades in the bathtub. 11. turn the fan on before you shower, so it doesn't steam up. 12. never wear my marlboro vest or jacket. 13. never come home drunk. 14. never mention my father more than three times, three strikes you're out!

225. unsettled settler (more rules)

15. don't talk of personal things or doings with anyone. 16. oh i forgot, no newspapers on the kitchen floor. 17. "most important rule is never answer or open the front door, the neighbors are watching, you must walk on egg shells!

chris said "just remember these things and everything will be fine. just enjoy yourself, my house is your house. and june, you are stunning, just stunning". i laughed real hard and so did he as he flapped his feet real fast on the floor as he always did. (a nervous tick or something, he was always wound up)

i asked chris, "what was your father like?" he said, he whipped me all the time over nothing. like i said, don't mention him, "that's your first strike june, watch it or i will throw you out of here with your things in a shopping cart!"

i guess i had better mind my p's and q's!

chris is a wonderful guy and he means well, so i'll try not to worry.

i broke my wrist at the pool when these young boys were grabbing at my bathing suit top. i could move around as a visiting guest only. i left the 800# job. i went on welfare and food stamps.

chris was a gourmet cook. he loved going to the market since i gladly paid and let him pick out whatever he wanted.

chris had a regular girlfriend he'd meet on the outside, that's why i couldn't answer the phone.

i always wore my long flannel nightgown, right out of laurel and hardy. i'd never let him catch a piece of my skin inside the apartment.

guess what?, he never ever toughed me in bed. he would fall fast asleep, and then i'd completely relax and be grateful to be safe. this is all i was concerned about the whole time as usual. how nice of chris to let me enter his domain to do so. i am humble to him. how sweet and so much home entertainment he gave. he was always singing and dancing for me. what a trip!

a couple of weeks went by, chris had fallen asleep, then i hear "june! june?, june? june?" it was michael! he was not pleased i was living at chris's. he was drinking and wouldn't stop! i had to carefully run outside in my robe and tell him to stop! i was always with michael every chance i got. we'd sit outside the liquor store one block down and drink beer during the day.

this nightly yelling for me was rocking the boat for me here big time. i assured chris not to worry, as i looked at the shopping cart by the front door wall.

i took breaks from chris by staying with michael in the garage again just to calm michael down and reassured him there's no physical contact with chris at all.

just as things would calm down, chris and i were talking and there's "june? june? oh june?" michaels drinking and at it again! chris said "june, if you don't get him to stop this incessant yelling for you, i will throw you in the street! "

i was hanging on by a thread.

226. wycoff caper

michael casey told me i have a place we can go and give you a break from living at chris's. an old friend of mine whom lives in akron ohio invited us to live with him for a while. let's get out of here.

we did. now i'm on the amtrak train just waking up from a nap. where's michael? i'll find him. i asked where the bar and smoking room was. i looked in the smoking room window and sure enough, there's michael working the crowd. he smokes like a chimney. i entered and sat next to him. michael said "there she is, meet june fairchild, she's an icon! " (no i'm not and this embarrassed me) never the less, i played along with his lead as usual. i could hardly see these happy half crocked happy campers. the air was so thick of smoke you could hardly see their faces!

michael starting asking his questions just to watch people's expressions. "so, when's the last time you were in love?" they laughed in unison. one woman said, one year ago. he did make people think. then michael asked "if you had one wish what would it be?" the room became silent. one man said, "to make the world a better place" then i threw in "what do you think of the world as a whole?" silence again. one drunken man said "june, i think it should be surrounded by hair!" everyone cracked up! you never know what people are going to say.

i told michael i have to leave this room i can hardly breathe and i'm hungry" he said "pardon us please, it's been a pleasure we are going to go and get some grub". these people sure were smiling after spending time with the reporter of the l.a. times. you see, he would always take notes on his skinny note pad to record people thoughts. they sat straight up for him when he'd drill them.

we worked our way up to the dining car. white table cloths and all, even a small vase of fresh flowers.

there was a young couple right across from us. right away michael says "you two make a good couple" they laughed real hard and so did i. the world is michael's stage. he kept rubbing it in, then said "how long have you been married?" now they are really laughing hard and the pretty brunette said "we're cousins!" i'm roaring and so are they. then michael says "you sure make a great couple" he never let's up. he's just what the doctor ordered at this point of my life. god bless his glorious brain and sense of humor. we were traveling companions.

two and a half days later we arrived in akron ohio. as we stepped off the train from a distance you could see a frizzy long blond haired man flapping his arms. he had on a long black pea coat. mike says "that's jim" as we get up to him i couldn't help but notice his red face. must be from the blinding snow. yes snow was everywhere! jim even reminded me of a snowman himself. very healthy and happy. he gave us bear hugs! we were all excited to be together. jim said "there's my mom and points to the gray haired lady standing next to her silver cadillac. wow jim's mom is here too! great. great now i feel even better about this whole last minute plan. i knew nothing of these people but i had a feeling we were going to be with them for some time. i had no idea jim lived with his mother. i never asked michael too many questions, i just trusted him. as my mom said" never ask a man too many questions, they hate that".

i guess jim was in his early forties. betty was 70 something i suppose. she reminds me of mrs. doubtfire (robin williams character) i loved her right away.

227. wycoff capfr continued..

betty drove just like a man. she had a jolly laugh and seemed delighted to have new company visit for a while.

about 10 beautiful horses were grazing in a fenced in and endless open area covered in snow. betty said "we're here, i live right across the street from these horses". hot diggity dog! that meant i could go and pet them every day if i want.

we drove up a long driveway and parked in the back. there was a red mustang parked there as well. it was jim's.

betty's house was half wood and brick, we walked through the kitchen and dining room to get to the living room.

out of nowhere in comes a small pomeranian dog. he was orange with a fanned out fluffy tail. betty said "that's sparky". betty sits in her padded rocking chair and sparky was right on on top of her lap in 2 seconds making sure mama is okay! sparky looks me dead in my eyes as i sat on the couch next to betty. i went to pet sparky and he growled and raised his rotten teeth to let me know not only can i not touch him, just forget about getting anywhere near betty. he was highly possessive of mama. you had to be there of course in order to see how funny this act was. as soon as betty could only take so much herself she gets up and then scolds sparky and say "didn't i tell you to behave?" "do you want to go to your bedroom?" then sparky really started growling and showing those teeth. he was so obsessed with betty. he was constantly protecting her. they would stare each other down as sparky never looked away from her. this must be a nightly routine. betty is now walking sparky ass backwards down the long dark hall way repeating "do you want to go to your bedroom?" over and over.. (i couldn't believe this ritual).

finally sparky was made to lay on his little bed in the last back bedroom. this became a performance two to three times a day. their relationship was so cute. this trip was worth it to be in a normal household with sparky and betty.

"who wants to be a millionaire" was the hottest game show at this time. this was betty's favorite i'd always watch it with her. jim was always downstairs in the basement, so now betty has someone else for a change to talk to and watch t.v. it was my pleasure to listen to betty's stories, deal with sparky and do the dishes etc.. after jim's over seasoned home cooked meals. how sweet of both of them to take michael and myself into their home.

betty had a ruthless nature about her. she'd complain of her son's laziness and drinking. i didn't know that he even drank.

jim took michael and i downstairs to the basement, his room. all homes in ohio had basements due to tornados or you name it. the weather today was 3 below zero. this was scary to me. jim's room had two couches with a cement floor, and a cute looking bar stools and all. jim brings out a gallon of brand new jamaican rum with a devious smile on his face as he opened it. oh oh, look's like i'm in trouble, what have i gotten myself into now? it was 40 proof. you could only get the 80% strength at government stores. thank god it could have been worse!

jim drank his rum like water. we had to join him for a toast. we all got toasted! then for over two hours with jim's raspy pirate voice about his stories he's was proud of (like we all do). in the 70's jim wycoff coordinated the oscars. he staged everything! so now we have another genius besides michael i can learn from.

228. the ohian high

i made the runs to the liquor store everyday for cigarettes and beer. it was right next door, how convenient. the owners were like your aunt and uncle. down home and real and sweet. like my grandma and grandpa and father whom were ohioan's too.

when jim and mike went on errands, i became a little snoopy and started looking under the couches. there had to be at least 20 empty bottles of old rum bottles under both. i started to clean up this leftover debris. i must earn my keep. i couldn't believe how much dog hair was all over everything. jim's dog taco half wolf never stopped shedding. (i figured i was done picking up dog hair after leon sweet dog) i started dusting, hadn't been dusted in years. men don't clean, or at least jim didn't, who cares. betty was always a bit tuckered out. she didn't care either. i don't blame them. god, there sure were a lot of spiders. all kinds. they'd come out of nowhere right in front of your face! i wasn't thrilled about that.

jim had a real cute girlfriend (i forget her name). she was very intelligent, conservative, and excellent at running jim. you know how women are when they want you. she wanted all or nothing.

one evening after plenty of rum, and us girls dancing together etc.. she said something that was unnecessary and i just had to stand up for myself in a polite manner and she hit me real hard with her fist in my left eye! we were rolling on the floor! she was pulling my hair! this was a knock down drag out nonstop ladies at each other throats! this girl was strong as a man. i guess she was jealous or something. i did absolutely nothing to cause. let's blame it on the booze. hell, last time i was in a fight was in jr. high with evon after i found all her boogers under doily on her night stand, remember? jim and michael just stood and watched in amazement. finally jim pulls his woman off me. why didn't he do this sooner?

this girl was possessive of jim and felt he had an eye for me i guess. actually, he did. he was right on top of me as soon as michael would leave the room. trying to charm me etc. michael kept his cool so we wouldn't lose our temporary roof.

the next morning my lip and eye were real black and burgundy. i looked and felt horrible. i was so embarrassed to go upstairs for breakfast and face betty! oddly enough betty didn't say a word. i ran out of the house to get to the horses and just to be alone and contemplate over my life. this helped me a lot. i knew things will be okay in due time.

as time went by jim began to use michael as a punching bag mentally. must be from past indifferences, or maybe jim was jealous that michael had a nice woman such as myself? michael is seething mad and takes the put downs to secure our roof. his quiet strength screams from his pores. i'm sick to death of argumentative drunks!!

two months had gone by. i was going nuts cleaning and sitting around the house and listening to betty and jim constantly screaming at each other. i told betty i'm going to go and look for a job.

i walked four to six miles down the road to the golden eagle market. they were hiring in the deli department. they told me we will put you in the 21 hour training program. this made me happy. when i got back to betty's everyone is still sleeping. except for betty and sparky. i told betty the news and she says "that's all and good, but how ya gonna get there?" she used a cold and uncaring tone of voice. i said "oh well, i'll walk that's fine, no problem. her nose was in the air, sweet changing to cold uncaring betty. this hurt me. why would she act like that to me?

229. changes in ohio

i started my training classes two hours every day. you must memorize extensive information in order to work at making sandwiches at any deli in all markets etc. the public must be protected from dangerous toxins/molds and damaged meats due to wrong temperatures. gloves must always be worn and constantly changed. this certainly put me to the test. i was glad to get away from the drunken rut and going nowhere fast at betty's.

jim and michael are those smart productive alcoholics that can handle it. i can't drink and work at the same time. i never have, don't believe in it. don't get me wrong, no one was working at this time so who gives a heck.

i slipped on a sheet of ice and it knocked the wind out of me. it was so painful i might have cracked a rib. now i'm bed ridden for two weeks.

i passed my deli training! this really made me proud and happy. they gave me their golden eagle shirt and cap outfit all workers wear. i'll start working in two days.

the following morning i came upstairs for breakfast as usual and betty said "june, i'm turning yella", what does that mean? i was wondering. then jim comes to the table and say "mom, your skin is real yellow". he said "it might be your colon again lets get right over to the hospital". off they went.

michael decided to surprise jim and betty and really make the house clean as a whip. jim came back one hour later and filled us in on betty's condition. grim news. cancer had spread throughout her colon and it just a short matter of time for her departure on earth. jim was devastated and so were we. what's sparky going to do without betty? jim said "when mom dies i'm having sparky put to sleep, i can't stand that dog". this is too much for me. i was pretty close to betty even though she had her cold moments, who doesn't?

i talked with betty on the phone every day. she sounded fine. at night i would limit myself to just two beers and dance with taco and try and make jim laugh, lighten things up a bit and i got as close as i could to sparky to explain mama will be home soon don't worry. he actually listened. he wasn't happy, none of us were.

i had to be at the market outfit and all at 8:00 am with bells on. i was so depressed over betty dying, stupid weak me had to stop and buy a beer and put it in my locker inside the market. i downed that puppy so i could be more relaxed and hopefully lighten up. i used binaca for my breath. i was told to get back to the deli and ronda will oversee you and teach you the ropes. i got to rhonda, might as well call her ron. she had a butch haircut, hairy arms and a mustache. she was a full blown diesel dyke. her arms were huge! her hind quarters were hefty too. i'm not putting her down, it's just that she was completely ignoring me and cold as ice. i'm on the verge of tears because of betty being on the edge of death. ronda/ron was real bossy, acted as emperor ming out of one of laurel and hardy's movies. there are so many things to remember while you work in a deli. i was ready to blow it. i put on the best face i could.

then i knew i had to take a break and go guzzle some more of my beer in the locker. i did everything for ron. my nose was to the grindstone.

i went to the ladies room and downed the rest of my beer. i came out with a smile on my face trying to hold my tears back. the main woman came back to ask me if i was alright. i said "no, my step mom is dying and i can't function too well. she said "sorry, you better leave and i do believe you've been drinking, leave your outfit up front."

230. deli job down the drain cont.

so after this top sergeant woman said "and leave your outfit up front as you leave" then she said "and you won't be working here anymore!" i said "fine, i only had a beer at breakfast, i have to let you know this job just isn't right for me to begin with". "oh by the way, you happen to be the first cold behaving ohioan i've met since i moved here"

my dad and grandpa and grandma were always sweet funny and talented. she just looked down at the floor and didn't say a word, i walked out.

i was happy as a clam to get out of there and forget how hard i studied for this brightly lit nightmare!!!!

to celebrate i bought myself another beer. i'm an alcoholic just as my sleeping compadres at betty's.

i walked right downstairs to the alcoholic romper room, the men were snoring!! i woke them up with a big smile to let them know how happy i was to lose my job. they got the point.

a bar is a bar is a bar!!! since betty still is in the hospital jim figured it would be a good idea for us all to go out and he'll take us to the hot spots. akron gets down just like any other place.

jim introduced michael and i to his regular drinking buddies. jim pulled me aside and said "listen, june, come with me so i can introduce you to some of the ajax lady's fans. " he did, they wanted me to sign napkins. i did my silly faces and noises from the movie to make them laugh. they always like it when i do that. i also make sure to let them know i wrote that part in five minutes and renamed myself the ajax lady. i also made sure they knew that i wasn't ever given any credit for this. i'm too honest, can't help it.

after we get home we sat down at the dining table. jim says "june would you mind if i take you to another hangout this friday night so my other tight friends can meet you? i told them you are actually staying at my house. they are dying to meet you". michael was sitting right across the table with a dead pan face not even asking his permission, or at least say "it's best june goes alone, they want to be around her" i said "jim, what's wrong with taking michael, he ain't chop liver l.a. times reporter and he's in all the libraries etc. jim says "nope! it's best i take you alone. jim says to mike "you won't mind buddy, we'll be back in two hours at the latest". michael says "sure why not"

this is friday night. michael didn't approve at all! i could see smoke coming out of his ears. he was seething mad! michael is not stupid, he knew jim was pursuing me every chance he could get. first of all jim's not my type, i don't fool around. michael is married and so am i. he was my walking/drinking companion. yes, we were pretty drunk once and we did try to have some kind of affection with each other since both of us didn't have that anymore with our spouses. big deal, what's wrong with that?

i told michael, i think it's a wise move i just go with jim to appease him and calm him down, he's been riding your ass for too long. i can't take it anymore. i'm going and get it over with! i really don't want to go at all but we need to keep the peace here. i'd never be with him, you know that, and i'd certainly wouldn't get between the sheets with him. good lord you know that. i'm old fashion.

231. betty's car is gone!!!!

betty is still alive and in the hospital.

michael told me "don't you dare go out with him!, i won't allow it, i forbid it! betty was a bitch to me and so was jim.

since michael was a priest for a year this is what gave him the patience to take quite a bit one way or another. (i did mention he ran away with a nun didn't i?)

michael warned me if i go with jim (just to meet his friends without him) he's leaving. i said "oh for heaven's sakes it's no big deal" i'll take his car if i have to, are you coming or not?" i said "no you won't" so i ran next door and got him some alcohol and cigarettes. i didn't really want or need to go. i did think jim was strange to leave michael out for this short outing, i guess michael knows jim boldness in trying to take me from him. we are very dear friends. i'd never be with jim. michael is my soldier in my corner. i reassured michael i'll get this duty over as soon as possible.

jim and i took off. went to one boring bar, met a couple of people. i was bored to tears. after two long hours i was beginning to become extremely edgy. i told jim that's enough jim i need to get back to the house. please take me home. i couldn't forget michael saying, "i need to get the fuck out of here, let's hit the road"! i did say "are you nuts or something?" since you said he has a gun under his bed, he might shoot you if you took his car.

jim took me out in his mustang.

i was apprehensive. we pulled up the long drive way and i was so looking forward to seeing michael and feeling bad about him being left behind, i was smiling ear to ear. now we are parking in jim's regular spot and then jim turns off the car. then jim says "where's betty's car?" i said, "you're kidding, i have no idea. i bet michael used it to go to the market, he knew where betty kept her keys. "i wouldn't worry at all. " you know michael better than i do. let's go in and have a night cap and not worry about a thing. her big huge cadillac was completely gone! oh shit! let's give him a little time to get back. maybe he has a surprise for us.

jim's pouring a couple of rums. i go downstairs for a minute to the big bed michael and i shared. there was a note on the pillow. i freaked! it said "june, lovers no more, good luck to you" "i'm half way across ohio by now." michael

i cried instantly, he abandoned me. now here i am alone with jim in ohio! i have no money. betty is dying, or barely hanging on. i just didn't think or take michael seriously enough obviously. michael had to get out of there he couldn't put up with being yelled at by jim and his wwf wrestlers voice. he would wake us up at 2am at times and have parties (it's his house that's fine) jim was just lonely and needed company. at times i would go and talk with jim for a few hours in the middle of the night if need be.

okay, back to the note on my pillow. i go upstairs and handed the dear john/june note to jim. his face became beet red and i was crying too much for him to lay in on me. i gave him a hug and told him not to worry. betty will get her car back, that much i know. jim got right on the phone and called the police. reporting car theft.

the next morning in walks jim with betty!!! oh my god! i have never been so overloaded with mixed emotions. she knew "i told her bottom line betty?" you are alive! to heck with your car. michael will return it to you one way or another. she gave a very distant smile. wouldn't you? i was in another world!

232. betty's home: im leaving

oddly enough betty wasn't all that worried or distraught over her missing car. she's a very strong woman.

jim made many calls to make sure that they are hunting for betty's car.

i went downstairs to think. i had a phone call. jim says "it's al burton". oh my god he returned my phone call! he's the man who walked up to me at gazzarri's and said "i want you to be a dancer on my show "hollywood a go go". i love the way your hair moves and the way you become the music with your body movements.

i said "al, how wonderful to hear your voice again!" you are the one who made my dream come true! he was very sweet and was happy to say hello to me. i then got to the point and said "al i know you have been producing "charles in charge" (scott baio's) series. i also know you have many other tv shows lined up and i was thinking that i would make a nutty next door neighbor or something on one of them. i'm not 18 anymore, but i must say i haven't changed very much at all believe it or not. al said "do this for me, put together a package. latest picture and resume etc.. make sure i get it when you get back from ohio. i'll fit you in somewhere. " i said "you'll get it in due time, thanks al". he said "my pleasure." this certainly perked me up! i was so excited that al called me back. he knew michael too! he actually paid for michael's mother's funeral! al's a very special, sincere man.

betty was taking a nap and jim came down to his bar room to talk to me. i filled him in about my phone call. he was very happy for me. then he came right out and said "june why don't you just stay here and let michael go back to his wife?"

i really do know that they love each other and they have their joanna. i'm not trying to pull them apart! heck gwen even gwen has dates her own self. michael and i are really just good friends and he knows to keep an eye on me to protect me. i'm penniless and homeless. he protects me. i guess he felt that i betrayed him going out with you and just leaving him behind. that wasn't very nice of either jim. i went with you to keep a roof over our heads and i really do like you very much as a person. all your stories/jokes, you're quite a special guy. i love your mom, god bless her. i gave jim a kiss on the cheek, this didn't do much for him.

i felt i was between a rock and a hard place. i actually went to a flower shop passed that super market. they hired me to help them. when i got back to jim's i knew there is no way i'm staying alone here with the lonely wolf. i called reb foster my husband's cousin. i told him my predicament. reb said "june i put you on the greyhound bus and you can come to my house in amarillo texas. i was so happy and relieved!

i was leaving early the next morning. i broke the news to jim. he wasn't happy at all. if michael isn't here then i shouldn't be either.

i gave betty a kiss and told her don't worry, she said "i'm not. i get to be with my husband now, i'm looking forward to that". i said goodbye to taco and sparky and gave jim another kiss. jim drove me to the bus station. i loved getting on that greyhound, that's for sure. i'm on my way to amarillo to one of my best friends in the world reb. known as rebel. he was as well.

233. amarillo texas

michael's on the lamb! have no clue where he is. i arrived at the bus station in amarillo 23 hours later.

where's reb? some man yells "june". "yes, that's me. " i'm a dear friend of reb's, he's too ill to come and pick you up himself". off we went, in an older car, who cares. we pull into a small driveway to a very one level nice house right out of the 50's.

we walk in and this man showed me my room. very nice. bedspread was very classy and silky. dark wood swirly headboard. cable tv. nice curtains and a classy chest of draws with gold handles. what a lovely atmosphere. oh what a joy to have my own room and privacy!

i asked if it's okay to say hi to reb. he said "no, he doesn't want you to see him like this. he told me he'll see you tomorrow. make yourself at home. help yourself to the kitchen. have a nice evening" i went to sleep in two hours thinking all i have been through and now i'm in texas.

i made one phone call to see how betty was feeling. she answered, betty said "well at least you got there". i said i'm so glad to hear your voice, you are such a wonderful woman".

"i'm fine and sparky right on top of me in bed". this made me relieved. i went to sleep, i was drained. i couldn't wait to see reb. i knocked on his door. "junie, not now, i'm very sick" i said reb i don't care, i just want to give you a quick kiss at least. "darlin, i'm throwing up in a big bucket for three days now, i don't want you to see me like this"

please reb, it's only me for heaven's sakes" "okay come in". reb's leaning over his couch gagging. i told him i've done the same many a times, reb said "i went on a bender for at least 10 days. i overdid it, i have to pay the price, i do love my screwdrivers and my high school friends at polly's pub. it gets harder on us doesn't it reb as we get older? "you got that right". reb's a cool handsome man.

he always wears his black leather jacket and jeans and a baseball cap. his voice hasn't changed a bit. this distinguished famous radio star remains the same. he will not have anything to do with dj'ing ever again. you should see the way he walks! oh my god it's is the cock of the walk with grace and the hugest ego on the planet! i love him for himself. i just don't know how to be arrogant. if you pay me i can as an actress, but not in real life.

reb felt fine the following day. he even did my "up in smoke" ajax lady baboon puffed out cheek silly thing. he always does that for me. i love his laugh, the deep belly ones. he loves me and i'll always love him. our friendship goes back when i was 18. you know the story. reb saved me from fort knox in the ohian snow.

i went to polly's pub and met some of reb's old buddies. i always loved to watch reb stir his drink with one finger as the tip of his tongue stuck out at the same time. always cracked me up.

i called to talk to betty, jim answered, "he said mom died last night" i cried and so did he, even though they'd argue here and there. then i asked "what about sparky?" he'll be dead soon. i told you that, i hated that damn dog" can't you put him in a shelter at least?" "no fucking way, he's dead meat".

234. michael calls rebs

i did explain the living conditions at jims and betty's. how sweet they were to take us in and stay for as long as we feel. i told reb of betty's cancer and was crying since she just passed away. i just always have to tell the truth for better or worse. i explained that michael took betty's cadillac when she was in the hospital. reb's mouth was open and he was appalled. i then explained what drove him to do this. the abuse of jim and him trying to get to close to me. betty wasn't nice to michael as time went by. michael could only take so much. after jim takes me out to meet fans of mine, minus michael, he wasn't going for it at all. jim had his mustang, betty has the nice cadillac. when we returned after two hours, betty's car was gone! she'd get it back, but he had to get the hell out of there. he's on the lamb! rebel was repulsed!

the phone rings. reb said "june, it's michael, how did he get my number?" i took the phone from reb and said "well, where are you at this point? all bulletins are out for you" he said june i wanted to at least give you your blood pressure medications, meet me at the little market, i'm two blocks away" well, i have to have those i had to go get them. i told reb." reb said "your kidding, you are actually going to meet up with him and the stolen car?" i explained why. he said "okay, but be real careful and hurry back" i promised.

michael had a wild look in his eyes."thanks for abandoning me". he gave me my prescriptions. i thanked him. then he said "jump in, come with me we'll make it to l.a. and betty's car will be returned. " they had two cars anyway, big deal" "michael, betty died and jim is after your ass and so are the sheriffs, i'm not doing bonnie and clyde with you, no way in hell's kitchen!"

i'm safe with reb. i get peace and quiet staying in my own room. this whole fiasco was too much for me. everyone's always drunk, i'm sick to death of it. just keep looking in the rear view mirror because they're going to get you" he says "i have my ways, i'm not worried. " good luck to you, my soldier in my corner.

he was picked up by the sheriffs on the freeway maybe one or two days later. he's now at twin towers. he's paying his dues as we all do when we go against the law.

i went back to reb's and took a deep breath with sigh of relief. i then had a cocktail with reb. everyones always drinking. makes sense to me since i grew up in bars as my father gerld wilson played the piano night after night to put food on the table.

i stayed at reb's for two weeks. he gave me money to catch the greyhound to california. he gave me a half pint of vodka for the road. it took 32 hours to get back to chris's apartment. at least i still have a roof.

235. good morning america

i got a phone call from a mr. bill cunningham. he said "is this june fairchlld?" i said "yes". he told me "i'm with good morning america, we'd like to fly you to new york and interview you by robin roberts. would you be interested?" i said yes.

he said "he'd like to fly you to new york tomorrow morning. we will send a car to pick you up, is that okay with you?" i asked him if i can bring a friend. he said, no problem. i told him his name is michael casey, he's a stringer for the l.a. times. mr. cunningham said "great".

i said have the driver pick us up at dale's jr. market. 7:00 am sharp was the pickup time to lax airport. i was so excited it was hard to contain myself from screaming. i hung up. michael was standing there with a big smile on his face and said "alright! we've got it made junie, everything is comp! this is going to be an overnight whirlwind! i was jumping up and down. remember he filmed me and my cat etc. and i was then needing an interview to add to my down and out times at the shelters and the card board box business.

sure enough there was a black lincoln town car waiting in the parking lot at dale's. located on whittset and oxnard blvd. , north hollywood.

how nice of a feeling to be driven in such a beautiful car and a driver that was also very polite and classy.

as michael and i wear waiting in line, i noticed richard simmons (the sweet bubbly man whom always helps obese people lose weight, through his program and visiting them in their homes etc.) i waved at him. he came right over to us. i said "richard simmons, what a pleasure to see you in person" he was holding a small pillow in his hands, wearing those famous blue shorts and t shirt as usual. it was hot out. he was delighted that i just had to meet him. he was very sweet. he gave me a hug! for heavens sakes, it seems like i just have to meet everybody.

after a five hour flight we arrived at kennedy airport, this makes it was my fourth time in new york. we were picked up and taken straight to the millennium hotel. very close to times square, and the channel 7 news station. mr. cunningham was there to greet us. i loved his crisp white shirts. what a classy, caring gentleman he was.

we were given a room on the 50th floor!!! good lord!!! i've never had a room in a hotel this high in my life! as i looked out the big window and looked down, the cars looked like ants! you couldn't barely see all the people walking way down there!

mr. cunningham said "i will be here promptly at 7am tomorrow morning to take you to the station.

michael was already on his way downstairs to the gift shop for cigarettes (which were $7.50 a pack) he didn't bat an eye. since michael is a reporter himself, he knows since i'm not getting paid anything to be interviewed, they will give us anything else we need to be comfortable. i took a nice hot bath in this swanky bathroom enclosed bathtub. gourmet soaps and bath oils. shampoo, hairdryer, of course, you name it.

i put my fry given white terry cloth robe on and sat down and turned on the tv and sure enough there was all the latest broadway shows currently on broadway! i flipped! i imagined myself on broadway too, sometime in the future. i have a loud singing voice and i'm very expressive as well on all levels!

michael gets back with all kinds of souvenirs! hats and cards, you name it! i was a little embarrassed, taking advantage, he wasn't.

236. new york cont. good morning america interview

i couldn't believe michael also got t shirts and a painting of the statue of liberty to give his daughter and wife. remember michael acts as my manager as well. we are into exchanging ideas into making things happen on creative financial levels for me and his family as well etc.

okay, it's time for din din! room service!! i ordered filet mignon, baked potato with sour cream and chives and asparagus. michel got prime rib, of course only the best! i had nothing to drink in regards to alcohol, after all i'm on camera tomorrow morning. i went to sleep at 9:00 pm sharp, i'm a pro always.

i was up at 5am. we ordered breakfast. i got eggs benedict with croissants, fresh fruit and orange juice.

i took another bath and blow dried my hair. no makeup. i'll leave that up to them with my added direction.

bill cunningham is at the door at 8:00am. i was given a little more time. we were taken to the famous channel 7 good morning news center, right on times square.

we were taken to the green room. there was a breakfast buffet, for everyone that works on and behind the cameras. bill introduces me and michael as my manager as he picks at a few grapes in his tweed jacket with the patches on his elbows and his ivy league blue shirt the typical reporter's attire. he had a scruffy beard at this point and shall we say looked very down to earth. they seemed to find him an interesting looking manager for some reason. i guess they liked the way he just made himself right at home, he's always been a very spoiled reporter who knows the ropes.

i was taken to the makeup room. there was miss robin roberts just finishing being made up. i was introduced to her by bill. she couldn't have been more gracious. bill said "you have absolutely nothing to worry about, robin is a terrific interviewer, you will enjoy taking with her on camera and be very comfortable!!".

in the other makeup chair was charlie gibson. he jumped up since he was done with his makeup and mr. cunningham introduced me to him. he was quite cordial and vanished. miss roberts had very beautiful skin and was tall and slender, warm hearted.

the makeup girl didn't seem to do me much justice. i asked for more eye makeup and she said "oh no, you'll look just great, we have the greatest lighting, you'll look very pretty, no problem." my hair was so clean and flat i just did not think i was much to write home about. oh well. it's showtime!!

the cameras are rolling as i'm seated across from robin roberts and she is very easy to talk to. it was a breeze! i was answering all questions beautifully. i even imitated jack nicholson saying "would you just be my cheerleader" in his voice, (they cut that part out) too bad. i told robin "in order to better myself, i had better quit drinking". there were many curious questions concerning my downfall etc. i was honest and to the point. before you knew it we were finished. mission accomplished! i was given a good morning america coffee cup as a memento. i felt like big woman on campus!

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june fairchild on gma recovery 101     

237. good morning america cont.

we went, downstairs to the restaurant bar. i ordered a bottle of champagne to celebrate. all of a sudden three men show up with candles lit on a big slice of fancy cake, they sang happy birthday to me as michael sang with them. i looked at him in bewilderment since it wasn't my birthday at all. i had to keep up good face while guilt ridden. you never know what michael might do next.

he started working the room as usual talking to everyone seated and making them laugh. they never got mad when he interrupted them, since he was so funny with the one liners. i just ate my cake. i ordered another bottle of champagne just for kicks since it was carte blanche.

i got buzzed and just had to walk around times square and just look around since we had to leave early in the morning. it started raining. a cab pulls up and out jumps mr. bill cunningham. he was in a hurry.

michael asked bill if he could lay a $20. 00 on us, he opened his wallet and he only had one, the rest was plastic, he gave it to us. how nice of him. it's not too much fun to be broke but at least we went to the nearest bar and ordered two beers. everyone was smoking and laughing. so were we since we had plenty of cigarettes. smoking was still allowed at this time at all restaurants and bars.

walking in the rain in lit up new york was a pleasure.

i could hear music further down the street. i always gravitated towards music all my life. michael said it must be downstairs somewhere at this club. it was dark with a twisting hallway like a funhouse! there was a d.j. and a dance floor with a rainbow of lights on it! i just had to dance. a man walked up to us he said "welcome to my club, make yourselves at home" then he said "hey you look familiar" michael said "have you ever smoked pot? that's her"

the owner said "oh man, you're the ajax lady, that's my favorite part!! he shook my hand and said "everything is on me, what would you guys like to drink? i said a screw driver, thank you very much! he said you can have as many as you'd like, my pleasure. "do you mind if i get a picture with us together so i can put it on the wall?" i said "i'd love that".

i was so happy i just threw my jacket on the bar stool and started dancing by myself. i always do this, don't need a partner. i go nuts. i become the music! it never fails that before long other people get up and let it rip too. no one was dancing at all, well they were now!

stayed close to closing time which is four in the morning.

there was a car waiting at 8:00 am to drive us to the airport! boy what a whirlwind visit to new york!

238. 2004 cecil hotel

i had to have my own spot before i go crazy, i need to be alone.

i began working at the 800# again. i could start tomorrow. i was given $150.00 by an old friend patrick. thank god!!

i think i was on the sixth floor.

the hotel was under a new face lift in the lobby. it use to be a beautiful old hotel.

they always had the radio station, the wave 94.7 on constantly through the building. i danced down the halls quite a bit!

i was a little nervous and took precautions to look both ways before leaving my room. the showers were down the hall.

as soon as i collected my $500.00 a week working i moved up to the rooms with showers and bath tubs. i have never shared a shower with a whole bunch of strangers. it wasn't very pretty and i was afraid i'd get athletes foot. the drain had all kinds of different hair breeds lodged in them combined with snot! nevertheless, i was clean and showed up for work, always on time.

i enjoyed the movie channels on my tv. i had the desk give me wake up calls.

i was still writing my life story long hand, even at work when it was slow.

i'll never forget using the restroom down the hall at the last minute before missing my bus for work. the door would not open. i tried everything as the clock was ticking. i sat on the floor and used my cowboy boots to kick the shit out of the door and screamed as loud as i could "let me out of here! where are the security guards? thirty minutes had gone by! i was on the verge of tears! didn't have a cell phone at this point either. finally i hear voices. now they are trying to open the door and couldn't and had to tell the front desk. the guard finally got me out of there! jesus! i could have been dead by then. what if i was forced into the bathroom by some stranger, no telling what could have happened to me!!! i'll always stick to my own bathroom. no more community bathrooms!

three weeks went by. i went down to the vending machines to get a cup of coffee. there was yellow caution tape blocking off the whole lobby. there was also a lot of police and lookeyloo people on the sides. i asked one of the sheriffs "i live here, may i ask what happened?" he said "a man was stabbed to death right over there in the middle of the lobby floor". that did it!

i moved out the next morning since i found a nice small hotel in little tokyo, called the sogo hotel, so be it!

240. sogo hotel cont.

this hotel had only 44 rooms. two storied red bricked quaint quiet and removed. across the street was a japanese temple. it was perfect for me.

i loved my van gogh room. one not too pleasant deal was as i opened my long black framed window i noticed i'm right over the garbage bags and all the plastic bottle containers. i had no view at all, only the windows across from me. i had to sneak up on the roof to see all of the large downtown town la buildings. it was very pretty with all the lights. you could see the fireworks at dodger stadium north of me. some of the neighbors went on the roof to drink and get a good buzz.

i stayed in my room all the time except to run down and make a steak or breakfast etc. i bought my own pan and silverware. there was always one or two tenants asking me "what are you cooking up?" sorry i only have enough for myself or i would offer you some. the community kitchen refrigerators were fifthly. i managed to take a small frig out of a room where the tenant had moved. that ended that problem.

now that my room was coming together, i took off and ran to get pooper (my cat) out of the parking lot after her being there for five years, no more sneaking in that parking lot and putting food and water under broken down cars etc.

i was so excited! pooper was meowing in the cardboard box on the bus. she didn't understand. it's been years since we lived together.

i snuck her in and sat her down and she went right under my bed. i bought her fancy bowls and a nice bamboo mat for her water and nice variety of cat food. finally! she jumped up on my chest and started to stare at me with love and appreciation. i cried with joy.

now pooper could help me get all those darned old cockroaches, especially the real big ones that got in once in a blue moon.

then as pooper was sleeping in my special wicker chair out of no where came a little grey mouse and looked straight at me as if thinking "well, where's my food?" i was dumbfounded. since i raised mice for megan for a while it didn't bother me. looked like a female and her belly was a bit large. goodlord, she was pregnant! she vanished behind the frig. i noticed there was a good sized hole. that's her entryway. i couldn't help but to put a small bowl of water and some crackers and cheese at night when pooper was sleeping. indeed in the morning the plate was clean as a whistle and all the water was gone. this was a nightly ritual.

i did this for two weeks and said what am i doing.?!' i'll have 15 mice in here before you know it. pooper almost got her once. i knew it was time to plug up all holes and large cracks to get rid of the roaches too.

five months went by. i was working 40 hrs a week doing the degrading 800# phone sex. i kept them off the subject all i could. i hated it. good for acting all different kinds of characters. the girls were ruthless and prejudice, except for a few like stephanie and natalie. they were great.

after work as i walked up the stairs to my room keo caught me and said "no cats in building, the one in your room has been crying for you all day" she said i had to leave if i didn't get rid of her! i packed up her stuff and took pooper was back in the parking lot again. she didn't seem to mind, except as i got her set up and was walking away she was meowing and wanted to go home with me. this broke my heart. i told her i'll be right back in the morning, go play with the pigeons. i told her to go back behind the wall where she sleeps. she did.

i cried uncontrollably on the bus! it was like abandoning your child in a parking lot.

241. little tokyo: sogo hotels characters

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right around the corner from me on the second floor a green eyed makeup artist and percussionist named billy. he would become many faces you've never seen before. his cheeks were caved in with high cheek bones, tall and good looking.

as i was sitting in the dining room reading, billy out of no where sits down across from me and he is now boris karloff! he mimicked his voice perfectly. he looked me square in the eyes and said (being boris) "i would like a very long, slow, very sloppy blow job" i almost fell off my chair laughing so hard. can you imagine boris karloff really saying such a statement dead seriously? he was just kidding of course. you'd really would have to be there to really see how he really was boris. billy is a very talented actor. one of a kind. he could also turn into a walking tyrannosaurus rex dinosaur. people are eating as he checked their plates to observe what they were eating etc.

billy would sit in a ray's bar and play the most unusual instrument i've ever seen. it was a long wooden stick and he held it straight up with one hand and then at the bottom was a wooden cup that looked like the aborigines would use to drink from. i do believe he used a bow that he moved up and down to hit certain notes. i was impressed.

then billy pulls out his bongos. is there anything he can't do? i had billy do my make once before i went out to an art party and he really did a great job.

this is my tribute to billy. you never know when you might run into him. the frolic room on hollywood blvd is one of his haunts. oh yes, if billy doesn't like you or finds you disgusting he won't waste his time and go to the other side of the room. artist can be moody.

down the hall from me was jessie, otherwise known as "the man in black". he has his own surf/rock and roll band called "the devil dogs". they played at little pedro's on 1st, two blocks from the sogo. devil dogs played at art gatherings. my favorite place was going to jim fettipaldi's loft parties. jessie's devil dogs played there too.

lillie is at all big art events plaster casting naked people. her velvet dresses would be abstract painted so when the black lights hit her she would glow in the dark! just beautiful! i want one. it is so magical! at 410 boyds bar is where you will all these talented artists. peri is always visual in a corner or sitting in a chair just observing, wearing her short schoolgirl plaid skirt and little hat as arturo looks over her as a guard would. she is famous for making cool lamps in wood, nickel, rice paper, silk. all shapes and sizes. very 50's feel to their appearance. she makes them all by hand. she and her short brown hair and impish face is quite special. she's off and on like a light switch with her smiles and attention span. she's picky, aren't we all?

by the way arturo a truck driver two doors down from me is a silversmith and makes necklaces that are all pigs and at the end is a cross also made of pigs. they go for $1500.00 or more.

last artist i just love, who doesn't is emeric. he paints the glowing clothing and mickey paintings, you name it.

242. sogo motel cont. i saw a rat down stairs

after living there for three years i was getting that telemarketers mental burn out! i began to speak or even listen to people not being on the phone after work! this frightened me. i had to go to my dr. and i was given a cat scan. from sitting in one position two of my neck bones had fused together! the bad chairs didn't help either.

i tried to get workman's compensation. i was refused. my dr. said "you have a good case here, get a lawyer. " they cost money. my rent had been raised to $500.00 a month! i was too overworked at this sweat shop. i was one of the top girls there. yes, the degrading 800# job. i enjoyed counseling all the lonely people who called in, not the weirdo's, but ya gotta sit and take it to make this business money. we never got any bonuses at all. only $13.00 an hour. the point is, i had to at least take a break!

i had to downgrade and i moved into a downtown la hotel. i can handle that. i'm still a nice looking woman.
i needed to finish my life story somewhere. this works!! i'm happy!! alone!! highly creative on many levels.
must be morse code man samuel's genes.

acting is on my mind since 1978. i would love to act again. still a sag member. now i can really break the camera with all i've been through.

this book needs a lot of doctoring.
it can blow off the shelves if rewritten beautifully and with even more potence!!!

i forgot to mention my very creative artist neighbor holly.
she lived downstairs in a very large room. she turns flowers she finds into characters. she presses them and frames them. she paints them as well. (not needed i know) she's truly a genius. i called her holy holly. i must go visit her soon. her friend dana is a great friend and works for the post office.

what to sell on ebay to make money
whomever accepts this book to be published may of course delete anything you know should be
whether it's just plain boring or we don't need to be sued do we!!!

i wrote it!    needs professional

june utley/fairchild
my life story
star of "catch a falling star"
true full scale

fake amazon reviews
getting paid amazon reviews 监所信息导航